My Life - Story Extract

30
1

description

Extract from my published book "My Life - Story" available as online reading, thanks to ISSUU. Access to complete version is password protected. Send me a message for details :)

Transcript of My Life - Story Extract

Page 1: My Life - Story Extract

1

Page 2: My Life - Story Extract

2

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored

in or introduced into a retrieval system, or

transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic,

mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise),

without the prior written permission of the copyright

owner / author.

Copyright 2008 (c) Arti Honrao, all rights reserved.

Cover Photograph by Joanna Ohmori, Japan.

Publishing rights reserved with Sai-Kiran

Publications

www.saikiranpublications.com

ISBN 978-81-907134-0-5

Book printed by Saibaba Printers

Chembur, Mumbai.

Price: Rs. 100

Page 3: My Life - Story Extract

3

My Life Story

Arti Honrao

Page 4: My Life - Story Extract

4

The author would like to

dedicate this book to Gloria

Blier who has been

author’s inspiration for

many years.

Page 5: My Life - Story Extract

5

Special thanks to Janice

Thomson for her

encouragement during the

writing of this short story.

Thanks to Saptarshi Das

for editing the story.

Author would also like to

thank all her friends who

supported her and

encouraged her to go

ahead with the idea of

publishing this short story.

Last but not the least, the

author would like to thank

her family for supporting

and understanding her

while she spent time

writing.

Page 6: My Life - Story Extract

6

This story is a work of fiction. Names,

characters, places and incidents are either

the product of the author’s imagination or

are used fictitiously and any resemblance to

any actual person, living or dead, events, or

locale, is entirely coincidental.

Page 7: My Life - Story Extract

7

My Life-Story is the story of Kavya who believes

in living each day as it comes. As she narrates

her story we realize how her carefree nature

extinguishes in the storms of her life and how

she finally learns to take her own decisions.

Leaving her house to marry the man of her

choice and beginning life anew, she finally

finds herself standing face to face with her

family during a critical situation. What happens

then plays a major role in shaping her life.

During the course of this journey, she meets

Shantanu, who has a positive influence on her

life. How she copes with the challenges of her

life and how she struggles to find her lost

individuality is the center-point of this story!

The story also lays emphasis on how her love

for her husband blinds her and forces her to

undergo emotional turmoil till finally she

decides to fight back.

What role does Shantanu play in her life? What

happens in her life that almost brings her to the

Page 8: My Life - Story Extract

8

stage of losing her sanity? Does she succeed in

coming out of all these? Does she turn out to be

a survivor? Read along as Kavya tells us her

story …

Page 9: My Life - Story Extract

9

I always believed in living each day at a time

until life threw circumstances my way, compelling me

to take those firm decisions. Some decisions change

your life altogether, this one sure changed mine.

Though my life was not a roller coaster ride all the

way, it did have its ups and downs; more of downs,

you can say. Stability knocked on the doors of my life

very late stage. However, as they say, “Better late

than never.”

Stability came in the form of Shantanu. He was

like the first drop of rain falling on the scorched

earth after a long hot summer. Like the fragrance of

wet earth, which seeps into your being, giving the

absolute ‘feel good’ about life; like the sound of the

brook to the ears of the person who has been thirsty

for a long time… like the ray of light for the person

trapped in the dark for years. In other words,

Shantanu was the hope of my life.

Shantanu was my husband’s friend. I say, “was”

because my husband did not consider him a friend

after what Shantanu did to him; rather, what he

thought Shantanu did to him. According to my

Page 10: My Life - Story Extract

10

husband, Shantanu broke apart our marriage of

more than seven years. However, if you ask me, I

would say Roshan gave this excuse to save him from

the humiliation of not being able to keep his wife

happy and take care of her.

There are a few relationships, which are

indefinable; not because they are not worth it, rather

because they do not fit in any charter - they are

beyond definitions. A few people simply call these

relationships as friendships but most look at it with a

disgusted look. My relationship with Shantanu was

one such non-definable affair. A nameless

companionship! We were not lovers but then we were

not mere friends either. There was something special

that we shared; something that was beyond flesh,

beyond all the material things. Perhaps neither could

understand it ever.

Today, as I look back at those days of my life I

ask myself a question, would I have married

Shantanu had I been given the chance? The answer

comes almost immediately – NO. Though I am a

mother to his daughter, he was never the man I was

Page 11: My Life - Story Extract

11

looking for as a partner. I could never ever imagine

sharing a bed with him. He was the best thing to

happen to me, no doubt about that, but that was it.

We were destined to meet and travel the journey of

life together as two strangers who met along the way

and would then go their ways at a later stage of the

journey. Shantanu went his way to heaven, even

before I got the chance to fall in love with him. I

wonder whether I would have fallen in love with him,

if he were alive. I cannot answer this question

because I am not sure. After all that I went through

in my life, I know one thing – life has its own ways

and it is unpredictable.

Unlike this unanswered question of my life, one thing

is clear – my decision to end my marriage of more

than seven years was the right decision. A decision I

could take because of Shantanu’s support.

Though the journey of my life started when I was

born, my real life-story starts on the day when I first

stepped into my sister’s engineering college to submit

my admission form. From then on, I had no control

as to whatever happened. It was as if I had been

possessed! As I said earlier, I always believed in

Page 12: My Life - Story Extract

12

living each day as it came and so I just went on

flowing with the tide, until finally I hit the shore. A

few said I hit the wrong shore but I believe I finally

reached the right shore after being tossed around by

the storms of my life.

Roshan was one of the team members sent to

Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology to recruit a new

breed of talented computer engineers for their

companies. He was assigned to interview my sister

and as I waited for her to come out of the room so

that we could have lunch together, I was completely

unaware what was going to hit me after a few

minutes. I was hungry and frustrated and it was

getting late for the movie with friends. I wanted to

leave but my sister had requested me to wait for her.

After what seemed like eternity, she walked out of the

room. The expression on her face told me that the

interview was not very good. However, my eyes

shifted immediately from her to the person walking

out of the same room. He was tall, dark and let me

add … very handsome! He wore an executive suit

and a necktie. I could not stop myself from staring at

Page 13: My Life - Story Extract

13

him. It was only after my sister pulled at my sleeve

that I bothered to follow her to the college canteen.

It was a blessing to see him following us to the

canteen and while my sister and I had our lunch I

often glanced at him from the corner of my eyes.

After lunch, I grabbed a sandwich and rushed out of

the canteen pushing the sandwich inside the bag. I

was already late for the movie and my friends were

waiting for me when I reached the cinema hall. We

walked inside hurriedly and occupied our seats.

During the intermission, when I walked out to get

some popcorn for my friends, I saw him again, eating

a sandwich. He was wearing casuals this time.

Strange, I thought, when did he get the time to

change? I did not realize that he had been inside the

cinema hall. Little did I know he had overheard my

conversation with my sister and knew I would be

here, watching a movie with friends. He had

managed to change and arrive just before the

interval. I was both shocked and happy to see him

walk towards me…

Page 14: My Life - Story Extract

14

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

“Nice movie, huh?”

“Yeah sort of,” I replied, feeling a bit awkward.

He had started the conversation as if we had known

each other for a long time.

“Roshan.” he said extending his hand.

I shook hands with him and smiled, unsure whether I

should tell him my name.

“Nice meeting you Kavya!”

How did he know my name? I thought. As if knowing

what was going through my mind he said,

“I heard your sister call out your name as you

were leaving the canteen.”

“Oh.”

He would have tried to strike a conversation with me

but people had already started returning because the

movie was about to start again.

“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked

“I have a phone call to make; I’ll come in some

time.” I said goodbye and walked inside. On my way,

I saw him shove a 500-rupee note in the hands of the

guard. He walked out of the cinema hall.

Page 15: My Life - Story Extract

15

When I returned home, I walked straight to my

room; I wanted to tell my sister about this man. I

should have known her reaction but then I was too

excited. The idea that someone would want to come

and talk to me seemed exciting. The first statement

that she made after hearing what I had to say was,

“Stay away from that man, okay?”

Elder sisters always boss around; this was my

reaction to my sister’s warning.

“Just because you were cheated by some guy does

not mean that every guy is wrong.” I got the answer I

deserved for this statement. Shraddha slapped me

and walked out of the room.

I wanted to take out my frustration and hence I

started throwing things around the room, that night I

did not have my dinner and my sister decided to

spend time in the study, working late on her project.

Dad knew nothing about the episode.

The next day I had to submit forms to

engineering colleges, I needed my sister’s help for

confirming certain details but I was adamant. I did

not ask for help. As she walked into the room, I could

Page 16: My Life - Story Extract

16

make out she had not slept the entire night. She had

perhaps cried also.

“I ‘m sorry di.”

“Did you fill your submission forms?”

“Admission forms.” I corrected her.

Shraddha took a deep breath and walked towards me

and kissed me on my cheek, whispering,

“Sorry.” Then we hugged.

“I shouldn’t have slapped you.”

“But what I said was wrong.”

“Good you realized that.” Shraddha said as she

placed her spectacles on her nose.

“Now let us fill the forms, you are getting late.”

She said sitting down.

I got ready to go and through the mirror, I saw

something I had never seen happening before. My

sister was staring at me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked

She shook her head and as if winning over some

internal conflict, she said,

“Take care” and, kissed my cheek. My sister was

behaving strangely. Something had changed the

moment I told her about Roshan. It was as if she had

undergone a sudden transition from being my sister

Page 17: My Life - Story Extract

17

to being my mother. Oh yes, she definitely cared for

me like a mother after my mother’s death but this

seemed different.

“Di!”

She wiped her tears and smiled

“I will take care of myself … and … I will stay

away from him,” I assured her.

The day was hectic and by the time I finished

submitting forms to colleges, I was exhausted. My

friends said goodbyes and left. I had no strength left

to wait for the bus, so I decided to hail a cab but none

was available. As if destiny was playing its card yet

again, I saw him. This time I was sure it was not a set

up. He stopped his bike in front of me when he saw

me trying to stop a cab.

“Hi!”

“Hello.”

Stay away from that guy. Shraddha’s words echoed

in my ears.

“You look tired.”

“Yeah”

I looked around hoping to spot an unoccupied cab

but none was around, damn!

Page 18: My Life - Story Extract

18

“Want a lift?”

“No, thanks … I will manage.” I will take care

of myself … and … I will stay away from him, I

heard my own voice.

“Come on, I will drop you home.”

I considered the offer, after all, it was just a ride, and

it was not going to hurt. Anyways, I did not intend to

take the ride all the way home. I sat on his bike still

maintaining distance and he started the ignition. He

drove cautiously avoiding rough turns and sudden

brakes and I rather liked it. I asked him to stop a few

lanes before my house and after goodbyes; I walked

the distance to reach home.

We met a few more times after that, accidentally.

Sometimes it was obvious that he was waiting for me

but most of the times it was genuine coincidence.

After a few accidental meetings, he officially asked

me out – a date! I wanted to say no because I still

remembered my promise to Shraddha, but on the

other hand I wanted to go, I really wanted to. Finally,

I decided that one evening would not harm much,

though it meant that I had to lie to Shraddha. I

arranged everything and walked out of the house to

Page 19: My Life - Story Extract

19

attend a friend’s birthday party. My first date with

Roshan was wonderful.

We did not do anything special but it was special.

We watched a movie; we went to the seashore and

walked. He behaved like a perfect man. I was

comfortable in his presence and that is what mattered

to me. By this time, as much I knew him, I was sure

of one thing: that my sister’s views were biased.

I did not know who the guy was. I was never told

because my father considered it best for me. I had

seen Shraddha crying for hours, I had heard her

muffled cries. I wanted to hug her and I did, but

pretending that I put my arm around her in my sleep.

Dad was furious when he had come to know about

her affair though the break up softened him a little.

He understood that Shraddha had learned a lesson

the hard way. However, he was still upset with her.

Because of my Dad’s reaction, even I was compelled

to hide my emotions.

“Hello.” Roshan said waving his hand in front of

my eyes.

Page 20: My Life - Story Extract

20

“Sorry.”

“What were you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“You want to go home?”

“Yes.”

He dropped me to the place where he had

dropped me the first time. The moment I got down

from his bike, he said bye and rode away. I smiled.

Back home, I was tempted to tell Shraddha about the

date but I did not.

Roshan and I met several times after that, every

time I had to think of some new excuse to walk out of

my house. It did make me feel guilty but I could not

do anything about it. So many times, I wanted to tell

Shraddha about it but most of the times she was busy

studying and when she was not busy, I could not

garner enough courage to tell her.

One night when Dad returned home from his

business tour, he was very happy because he had

bagged a very important assignment. Shraddha was

happy too. I had a very good chance of taking

Page 21: My Life - Story Extract

21

advantage of the situation, and telling Dad and

Shraddha that I was in love with Roshan, but there

was a major problem. I did not know how Roshan felt

about me. Therefore, I decided to talk to him first.

The next time we met, I straightaway asked him

how he felt about me and he said that he cared for

me.

“That’s it?”

“No, I care for you a lot. Does that help now?”

he smiled

I was silent.

“Your sister hates me.” Roshan said after a

while. I looked at him, surprised.

“You know her?”

“Yes. Long before you came in my life.”

“And … how is that?” my heart started beating

faster.

“I was in her college. I was her senior and…”

“And…?”

“We spent time together in college; I helped her

in her studies. One day…” Roshan took a deep

breath.

“One day… what?” I enquired.

Page 22: My Life - Story Extract

22

“She said she loved me.” I sat there, next to him,

too shocked to react. Now I knew he was the guy who

had cheated her! Tears gathered in my eyes.

“So, you are the person.” I said in an angry tone.

Roshan turned to look at me.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you angry at

me?”

He was expecting an answer but I did not say

anything. I simply got up and left the place.

I cried on my way back home. There were many

thoughts clogging my mind; I was not able to think

clearly. I wanted to go back home and talk to

Shraddha. I opened the door and ran towards my

room expecting Shraddha to be there, studying.

However, she was not around. My mobile sprang to

life. It was Roshan trying to call. I did not attend his

call. I had to know what had happened between both

of them but I had to hear my sister’s side of the story

first. I was pacing the floor when Shraddha entered

the house.

“Where were you?”

Page 23: My Life - Story Extract

23

“In the library, what’s wrong?” she said keeping

the books on the desk

“You look worried.” She walked towards me

“I want to talk to you.” I said with tears in my

eyes.

“Sit down” she held my hand and made me sit on

the bed.

“What is wrong? Assure me you did not do

something foolish”

I shook my head.

“Okay, now tell me what is wrong.”

“It is about Roshan.”

I could see her expression changing.

“What about him?” she asked

“I know.”

“What? Come on, stop beating around the bush,

tell me in plain English, and do not try my patience.”

“I know that Roshan is the guy who cheated

you.”

Shraddha stared at me with her mouth open.

“He told you?” she asked.

I nodded. She looked away, clearly to hide her tears.

“Wait a minute,” she said in a surprised tone

Page 24: My Life - Story Extract

24

“When did he tell you? I mean, you have been

meeting him?”

I was silent.

“I told you to keep away from that man!” She

shouted

At that moment I realized what my sister wanted to do

all this time, she wanted to keep me away from

getting hurt.

“I am sorry.”

“No use saying sorry if you don’t really mean it.”

“I mean it.”

“When you promised me that you will keep away

from Roshan you had meant it.”

I had no answer for this because she was right. We

both were silent. She was silent trying to take in

whatever she heard from me and I was silent,

thinking of how to ask her about her story. The

sudden ring of my mobile broke the silence. She saw

the display. It was Roshan trying to call me. I thought

she would attend the call and shout at Roshan but

instead of doing anything of that sort she turned

around to walk out assuming that I would attend the

call.

Page 25: My Life - Story Extract

25

“I want to talk to you.” She looked at me and

then at the mobile

“You are not going to attend the call?”

“Not before you tell me exactly what happened

between the two of you.” There, I had said it!

“Why don’t you ask him?” she said angrily.

“Because, you are my sister and I want to hear it

from you first.”

“First! That means you will verify it later

with him?”

She asked sarcastically

“Come on now; let us not get into this. I want

to know what happened.”

“Why?”

“Because …” She was waiting.

“Because I love him”

“You … what?”

“I love him di and this really hurts. It hurts to

know that your sister loved the same person you love

now.”

She waited for a moment, unsure what to say.

She was clearly hurt to know that I loved Roshan.

Finally, making up her mind, she said,

“He is not the right person for you.”

Page 26: My Life - Story Extract

26

“Just tell me what I want to know.” I had hurt

her again, I knew it, but I was helpless. I was in love

and my mind was too disturbed that moment to think

of anything other than clearing the blurred picture of

betrayal.

She sat next to me and started telling me …

“Roshan was my senior in college. He had

ragged me once but then we became friends. He

helped me in my studies and one day as we were

sitting in the library after college he told me that he

loved me.”

“He told you what?” I interrupted.

“That he loved me,” she repeated.

“But Roshan told me that you said you loved

him.”

“Yes, I did but that was after he confessed his

feelings for me.”

I closed my eyes.

“He said he loved me and before I could react he

kissed me on my lips and then I reciprocated. I told

him that I loved him too.”

I was listening with hands folded under my chin.

Page 27: My Life - Story Extract

27

“We sat in the library till it was late and I had to

return home. He dropped me home and while leaving

he kissed me again, longer this time.” I hated to hear

the details but I had to go through all this.

“Then?” I asked

“We met regularly: in college, after college at

friends’ place for parties, etc. Remember the night I

returned home very late and Dad was furious?” I

nodded. I remembered it very well; it was the first

time Dad had slapped Shraddha.

“That night I was with him. We were at a party

and I just do not know what happened. I started

feeling giddy and Roshan took me to a room and …”

I did not want to hear what happened next and I

was glad that my mobile rang again but soon I was

angry when I saw whose call it was. I picked up the

mobile and smashed it against the wall, walking out

of the room. I could hear Shraddha crying in the

room, perhaps she heard me crying too. It was not

over yet. I had to go through much more than this. I

had to know how they broke up. I wiped my tears and

went back in. Shraddha was still crying. I sat next to

her and placed my hand on her shoulder. As if

Page 28: My Life - Story Extract

28

knowing why I had come back she started talking

again.

“That night Dad came to know about my affair.

Someone told him that I was with Roshan. Dad

warned me not to meet him again. I did not see

Roshan for a few days after that. I was trying to come

out of what I had just done and did not try to contact

him. I thought he would but he too did not call me.

Obviously, he needed time too. After a few days I

tried to call him on his mobile, his friend answered.

He told me that Roshan had left Bombay. I e-mailed

him several times, trying desperately to get in touch

but he never replied. Dad realized something was

wrong and asked me what had happened. I told him

about that night and, how Roshan had cheated me.

That day, for the first time ever I saw our Dad cry.

That day I promised myself that I would never do

anything to hurt him again and also that I would

never let you take any wrong decision.” She hid her

face in her palms and started weeping.

Page 29: My Life - Story Extract

29

I was crying too. I could not believe what I had

heard but I had to believe. There was no reason

Shraddha would lie to me.

She wiped her tears and said,

“That day during the interviews, I saw him after

so many years…”

“Did you talk about this?”

“He wanted to but I did not want to talk about it.”

I then realized, that day, the look on her face; it was

more than the frustration of a bad interview. She was

disturbed. That night we both could not sleep

properly. Shraddha looked out of the window and I

stared at the ceiling. There was a strange play of

emotions going on inside me. Anger, love, betrayal,

frustration! I could not believe that I had fallen prey

to the same old game.

Page 30: My Life - Story Extract

30