Eloise Kunu4/20/15My internal affairsFrom Recipient Point of ViewWhyyyyy! of all people why me? Am I being punished for a crime that I have not committed, or is this a prank? I have been healthy all my life; how can I need a kidney transplant at this instant it was just a simple collapse, nothing bad I reassured myself when I woke up in the hospital bed until now. Those five poisonous words which I was afraid of came from the doctors mouth: you need a kidney transplant. If those words which felt like the wind being knocked out of me has not already put me to death, then I dont know what will, maybe that fast heartbeat will slow down in a matter of seconds and I shall let out my last breath. No jean, you are better than this you can pull through this is just another obstacle in your life, dont let this get to you, you shall succeed. Im encouraging myself, but the question still stands, how will I be able to save my life if, Im the last person on the list right now for a kidney, and I have only six month to live, when being on that list can take a year or two? But Jean think about it, not always does the body accept a new organ, some people did that and now suffering other diseases because the body is attacking the new organ. Yea thats true but it wont hurt trying; you know I would not even be thinking about an alternative if Israelis donated organs from a deceased, but nooo, all because of our religion most of us are now suffering to find an organ to the point of even buying it at a black market. I understand that the Lord is our provider and we should worship him, but do we have to die trying? I know I dont want to, and even though this goes against my religion, I guess the black market is my only option now. Forgive me lord for the sin Im about to commit, but I have family that love me and my life should not be over yet I have so much that I still want to accomplish, and neither religion or the organ list will keep me from getting my transplant. Oh my goodness, what is wrong with me, did I just say that? Im actually thinking about indulging myself into something illegal. Welllllllll people do it all the time you know, so I dont think me doing it also is a problem. My conscious speaking: but it is Jean, imagine what you may be getting someone else into just to get an organ for yourself.From Donors Point of ViewOh lord this heat is killing me, I have no food to eat and my family is dying of hunger if only I can find a way to help them out. Please lord Im begging you to help me find a job, so that I can help my family out, if not just help me find a way to get the money for it. This was my mindset before I found an ad stating they will pay me $10,000 if I can sell my organs to them. No one told me about the dangers I was going to face. Who knew a simple way of getting money can truly hurt you at the end of the day. I just thought I was going to be getting a great amount of money and will be treated in a good way. Little did I know I was going to be treated so wrong? I remember making the phone call and being told by a man that he will reach me back later. The next day I received a phone call from the guy and told me to pack and will meet a man at Kosovo airport that will give me all the things I needed to travel, because I will be going to South Africa to do the operation. Little did I know this was an illegal act, until when I reached South Africa, and was kept in a very nasty motel that was not clean and very uncomfortable to live in. While inside the motel so many questions where running through my mind: Why did I accept this job? Was it needed? Was the money worth it? After several days of living in that motel with little food to eat and no contact with anyone else except the middleman who refused to give me a name, I had a change in mind. Who knew this change in mindset would almost cost my life. I remember telling the middleman on the phone I want to go back home and decline the offer of selling my kidney. That was the mistake of my life, for the middleman came to the motel and put a knife to my throat saying if I dare try to leave or tell anybody about this arrangement he will kill me. Sacred out of my life I simply agreed and follow him out of the motel that night to a close hospital, during the drive I was thinking to myself: is it because Im poor that I can be treated like this, and so make me less of a person? You middleman dont think I deserve the pampered treatment I know you must be giving the one that will be receiving my organs, even though I dont know them, only because they have money? Lord Im so sorry, but please get me out of the situation that Im in, I dont want to die lord, because I want money to feed my family. Oh God how did I get into this negative situation lord, even with my changing of mind, they wont let me go. While I was saying all this in my head, I was brought inside the hospital and a doctor told me to sign a document that states Im donating my kidney to my cousin when in fact I never even met the person. I remember being sent to the surgery room and placed under anesthesia. When I woke up I was in a lot of pain, but the middleman did not give me any time to recover, he brought me back to the motel and told me to pack up, saying I will be leaving tomorrow morning. The next day I was on a plane being sent back to hometown with $5,000 and not $10,000 like I was promised. In a whole lot of pain during the flight, I ask myself, is it because Im a poor uneducated fella that I dont need recovery from the surgery, and that I would not notice that the money I was paid was half the amount we discussed? With me covering my own expenses to go back home, what money will I have left? Just because Im poor doesnt mean Im dumb. I would do anything for my family, but forgive me Lord for I know what I did before was not part of your plan, because at the end of the day Im still poor and now with one less kidney.