MY COUSIN DONALD CECIL EDMUND HALLIDAY (1913-2006)

by Lorna Hawker Durrani, 22nd April 2020 (copyright)

Donald Cecil Halliday was born on 7th January 1913 at Eton to Cecil Alfred Halliday

(1885-1946) and Maude Louise Mary Vanstone (1884-1972). Donald was my father’s

first cousin and my first cousin once removed. My paternal grandmother, Norah

Victoria Halliday, was Cecil Alfred Halliday’s sister. Cecil’s father, Alfred Halliday,

was Donald’s grandfather and my great grandfather. Donald’s great-grandfather and

my great-great grandfather was William Halliday of Wells, Somerset. William

Halliday founded a dynasty of woodcarvers, stonemasons, antique dealers and dress

designers. They had antique shops and workshops carving reproduction furniture in

Eton, Windsor, Abingdon, Oxford, Dunster, Taunton, and London. There is still a

Hallidays in Dorchester on Thames, co-founded by Cecil’s brother, Donald Connock

Halliday, which continues to sell antiques and produce hand-carved pine

mantlepieces.

I met Donald Cecil Halliday (or Brother Donald as we called him) on many occasions.

He used to visit my father when we were living in a small village near Salisbury and

assisted my father in his research into our family history. The last time I saw him was

when my mother and I visited him at Oxford (I think it was in 2003). I also knew his

sister Pat Halliday who owned the Old Manor House Riding School in North Hinksey,

the family home of both Pat and Donald. I was present at both their funerals as a

family member.

In compiling this profile of Br Donald, I have drawn upon my father’s research into

the Halliday family and his many photographs, and the documents provided by his

friend, Alan Robinson, Head of Allen Hall: Boys’ Boarding, St Edmund’s College,

Hertfordshire. The Abbot of Belmont Abbey, Father Paul, was generous in answering

my questions about Donald’s time at Belmont and shared his memories of Donald. He

also gave me permission to share them with others. I have tried to check the material

as much as possible but encountered some difficulty as many of the monastic

communities appear to have closed. Any remaining errors are due to me.

Donald’s father, Cecil Halliday, came from a family renowned for woodcarving and

dealing in antiques. He was a Woodcarver, Cabinet Maker and Dealer in Antiques. He

was also a Valuer and maker of reproduction furniture and owned properties in Eton,

Abingdon and Oxford. Donald’s mother, Maude Vanstone, was an opera singer who

performed once for Queen Victoria. Cecil and Maude were married in St Edward’s RC

Church, Windsor. It was a mixed marriage as Maude was a Roman Catholic and Cecil

a member of the Church of England. They had three children, Donald Cecil Halliday

(b.1913), John Sinclair Halliday (b.1917) who died at the age of 15 months, and Patricia

Maude Halliday (b.1923). According to Pat, John died from whooping cough. Donald

was brought up as a Catholic; Pat as an Anglican. Donald remembered being taken at

the age of 4 or 5 to Mass every Sunday by his mother at the RC Church of Our Lady

of the Sorrows, Eton, which was the Parish Church and is now a Catholic Chapel for

Eton College.

The family lived in Eton where Cecil had an antique business until 1919 when the

family moved from Eton to Abingdon on Thames. Donald was 6 at the time. Cecil, in

conjunction with his brother Victor Nugent Halliday, opened an antique business at

45 The Vineyard, Abingdon.

Donald was baptised Donald Cecil Halliday (presumably in Eton) and was confirmed

on 4th December 1923 in the Chapel of Our Lady’s Convent, Abingdon and made his

First Communion on Christmas Day 25th December 1923. He later added the name

Edmund, taking St Edmund as his patron, when he became a novice.

In 1924 Donald and his family moved to Oxford where Cecil opened a business at 44

Broad Street, Oxford. He continued as an antique dealer there until the premises were

demolished to make way for the large extension to the Bodleian Library in 1936. In

1936 Cecil moved his premises to 87 The High Street, Oxford and purchased a large

16th century Grade II residence, The Old Manor House, 20 North Hinksey Lane, North

Hinksey, Oxford. Oxford.

Donald was sent away to school during the 1920s – 1930s to the Jesuit College at

Mount St Mary’s, Spinkhill, Derbyshire. This still exists as a Jesuit school for boys and

girls. Donald did not enjoy his time at ‘The Mount’, describing himself as unhappily

incarcerated in an over-strict Jesuit college. Alan Robinson remembers that Donald

found the rather strict, harsh and stifling Jesuit atmosphere - as he would often say –

‘most miserable’ and thinks that it was probably this Jesuit experience which sent him

towards the Benedictine Order.

During his school holidays he served Mass nearly every day, and always on Sundays,

at the Capuchin Church of SS Edmund & Frideswide, Iffley Road, Oxford. Donald

considered his patron to be St Edmund of Abingdon and his patroness to be St

Frideswide of Oxford. Donald was a great admirer of the church and its priests,

especially Fr Cuthbert of Brighton. Fr Cuthbert, O.S.F.C., born Lawrence Anthony

Hess in Brighton in 1866, was a Capuchin friar and prolific writer, particularly about

St Francis of Assisi. He died of pneumonia in 1939. Donald was once waiting to serve

Mass in the Sacristy with Fr Cuthbert, when a little boy who was carrying the incense

boat asked Fr Cuthbert the meaning of the Latin motto ‘pax et bonum’. Fr Cuthbert

answered ‘What can it possibly mean but “Peace and a Good dinner” which I hope to

receive so soon as this Mass and Sermon is over - so let’s get on with it.’ ‘Pax et bonum’

is the motto of St Francis and is usually understood by Catholics to mean ‘Peace and

Goodness be with you’, as said in the Mass.

Donald told Alan Robinson in a letter that he wished to be a Dominican lay brother

but, when interviewed by the famous Dominican founder of Blackfriars, Fr Bede

Jarrett O.P. (Order of Preachers), was told that he should be a Dominican Friar because

he was able to translate a passage of Latin.

His friend Alan Robinson described him as a ‘serial’ novice as he tried out a number

of different monastic communities. This correlates to Fr Paul’s description of Donald

as ‘restless’. These included: Quarr Abbey, a Benedictine community at Ryde, Isle of

Wight; Belmont Abbey, a Benedictine community, which he entered several times and

where he remained till his retirement; a Dominican Community in the Isle of Wight

called the Companions of St Martin de Porres; the Canons Regular of the Immaculate

Conception and the Canons Regular of the Lateran who follow the Augustinian Rule

in Bodmin, Cornwall; and the Community of Servants of Christ the King at Frensham.

Fr Brocard Sewell, O. Carm. dedicated his biography of Br Joseph Gard’ner, founder

of the Community of Christ the King at Frensham, (Cancel all our Vows: Brother Joseph

Gard’ner and the Servants of Christ the King, 1988, Aylesford Press) to Donald who had

given Fr Sewell a tremendous amount of help. In Fr Sewell’s second autobiography

(The Habit of a Lifetime: An Autobiography, Padstow, Tabb House, 1992, p.143) Donald

is described as the greatest expert on English Religious Orders, ‘if only he could be

persuaded to put pen to paper’.

Donald first came to Belmont Abbey on 22nd January 1935 and was clothed in the habit

as a novice on 20nd September 1935. However, while still a novice, he resigned the

habit of his own will and left Belmont on 22nd June 1936. He immediately entered

Quarr Abbey on the isle of Wight on 11th July 1936. He was in several other

communities including the Hospital of St John of God, Richmond, Yorkshire where he

was a probationer nurse in 1939 (according to the 1939 Register) before joining the

Merchant Navy when war broke out in1939.

Donald served in WW2 as a Radio Officer/Wireless Operator in the Merchant Navy

(British Postal Service Appointment Books, 7th May 1940). His ship, the Silverwillow, a

British Motor Merchant ship, was torpedoed on 30th October 1942 by a German U boat

(U-409) off Madeira. On 5 November the ship had to be abandoned and foundered

after 6 days. Three crew members, one gunner and two passengers were lost. The

master, forty-nine crew members, seven gunners and four passengers (including one

Distressed British Seaman) were picked up by the British auxiliary patrol vessel HMS

Kelantan and landed at Gourock, Scotland on 8th November.

In 1942 Donald was promoted to a Temporary Lieutenant (Navy List, 1942).

In a notebook given to his friend Alan Robinson, Donald writes about his experience

when Silverwillow was torpedoed. On 7th May 1979 Donald wrote: ‘My unforgettable

experience when torpedoed in the “Silverwillow” during the 1939-1945 War agrees

almost exactly with the conclusion of the extremely perceptive review on the opposite

page. I must soon purchase this book “To Die is Gain” – it should be of the greatest

interest (especially to myself, in view of my wonderful experiences out in the Atlantic

in October, 1942).’ He is referring to an article from the Catholic Herald published on

4th May 1979 about a book by Johann Cristoph Hampe, To Die is Gain. He highlighted

the last two paragraphs:

One man described himself standing on a mist-covered shore. He felt absolutely certain that

when the mist cleared he would be face to face with Our Lord. To his regret, he was summoned

back to life before that certainty could become a reality.It appears that anyone who has been

through such an experience feels a most intense grief when returning to “life”.

It is perhaps surprising that Donald describes his experiences in the Atlantic being

torpedoed as ‘wonderful’ but it was clearly an intensely religious experience for him.

He returned to the UK in 1945 on the SS Drottningholm, a Swedish/American line,

leaving Bombay and arriving in Liverpool. In his notebook Donald described how he

enjoyed the time he spent in India after being torpedoed until returning home in 1945.

Donald’s sister Patricia Maude Halliday (1921-2015) was an exceptionally talented

horsewoman who won many awards for eventing and dressage. She founded and ran

the Old Manor House Riding School in Oxford, riding until she was 80 and teaching

until she was 87. During WW2 War Pat served in the Women’s Land Army. Donald

returned to live with her after he retired and left Belmont Abbey.

After the war ended in 1945, Donald renewed his search for a religious home. In 1946

it appears that Donald was considered unsuitable as a novice. This may have been for

the Benedictine Community at the Abbey of Our Lady at Quarr as, in a letter dated

12th November 1946, Dom Cyril Millichamp O.S.B. later Abbot of Quarr Abbey, wrote

to Donald to express his commiserations at Donald being refused entry into the

Benedictine Order as a novice. He was a postulant at Quarr but, according to his friend

Alan Robinson, apparently fell a victim of the Novice Master’s zeal.

One day he had been told that there would be an afternoon visit by a women’s religious order

known to wear a very exotic habit which gave rise to their nickname ‘the little Cardinals’.

Donald was told that at a particular time were he to look out of his window he would catch a

glimpse of them as he arrived. He opened the window in eager anticipation and poised himself

to look out. Unfortunately, at that moment the Novice Master decided to pay him a visit and,

finding Donald leaning out the window, looking perhaps as if he were indulging in a cigarette,

he emitted a loud and frightening So………., made worse by the monk’s accent.

In April 1947 Donald was a Novice at the Sacred and Apostolic Order of Canons

Regular of the Most Holy Saviour of the Lateran at Bodmin, Cornwall (C.R.L.). Donald

wrote that he left this order ‘for various reasons’ at the time but later thought he was

foolish to have done so. By the 1960s he had returned to the Abbey of St Michael & All

Angels, Belmont Abbey, Hereford as a Choir Oblate in charge of the Sacristy. In 1968

he was Brother Sacristan at Belmont Abbey, Hereford. He admired Belmont greatly

and said he found ‘St Benedict at every turn’, a far cry, he felt, from Quarr. Donald

made his final act of Oblation, completing a formula of profession which was retained

in the archives of Belmont Abbey. He also added to his baptismal name of Donald

Cecil that of Edmund, the name of St Edmund of Abingdon, as his special patron.

Fr Paul, Abbot of Belmont Abbey, remembered Donald:

I knew Donald well. He was the most delightful, knowledgeable and entertaining soul. I also

knew Pat and Gary her assistant and enjoyed chatting with her. Donald had a long connection

with Belmont, but he was probably restless and unable to commit himself staying in one place

for long. He first came to Belmont on January 22nd 1935 and was clothed in the habit as a novice

that year on 20th September. However, while still a novice, he resigned the habit of his own will

and left Belmont on June 22nd 1936. He immediately entered Quarr Abbey on the isle of Wight

on July 11th 1936. He was in several other communities before joining the Merchant Navy. He

returned to Belmont as a lay brother postulant (the stage before becoming a novice) on

September 8th 1950, but left in 1951, again of his own will. He returned again to Belmont on

September 27th 1972 and was clothed the following day as a choir oblate. Choir oblates do not

take vows and are not monks, although they wear the habit and share in the life of the

community. It seemed the best solution, as he would be free to come and go whilst remaining

attached to the Belmont Community. In fact, he decided that he would prefer to be an exterior

oblate and so left, again of his own free will, in January 1975. His heart remained at Belmont

and he continued to visit regularly. As you know, when he died in 2006, he was buried here at

Belmont (I celebrated the requiem Mass) and lies in our cemetery with the monks he loved.

Donald was never rejected by Belmont, but given his need for a certain amount of freedom to

come and go, it was thought best that he be an oblate rather than a monk of Belmont. He made

his oblation, but this did not oblige him to live in the monastery. We have about 120 oblates,

men and women, but Donald was very special and greatly loved by the monks. We often speak

of him still.

Donald was the Organist at Our Lady of the Rosary, RC Church, North Hinksey for

4-6 years. As he grew older, he became increasingly unhappy at the various reforms

of the Second Vatican Council, particularly the use of English instead of Latin in a

completely new rite of Mass. He served Mass at one of the first Tridentine Mass

centres in England, at Casa Pilar in Farndon Road, Oxford, then under the ‘control’ of

Miss Kathleen Pond. When he served Mass, he wore the very distinctive and unusual

white sleeveless rochet which he had worn as a novice with the Lateran Canons. I

remember him telling my father that he was drawn increasingly to the Greek and

Russian Orthodox religions.

Donald died at the age of 93 on 10th March 2006 in Oxford and was buried on 17th

March 2006 at Belmont Abbey in the cemetery along with other members of the

community. A Full Requiem Mass was held for him, attended by all the Monks at

Belmont Abbey and by Fr Paul, the Abbot, who gave the address. I attended his

funeral with his sister Patricia Halliday, and another maternal Vanstone cousin. After

the funeral we celebrated his life with a wake held at the Abbey.

FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS

Photo shows from left to right: Back: Alfred Halliday and William Halliday Middle Row: Far left Caroline

Halliday nee Hill, wife of Alfred, and in front to the right of William Halliday his wife Ann Halliday nee

Connock. My grandmother Norah Victoria Hawker nee Halliday and Donald’s father Cecil Halliday were the

children of Alfred and Caroline. Alfred was the son of William Halliday and Ann Connock.

William Halliday – Donald’s great grandfather and my great-great grandfather

Caroline Hill and Alfred (Fred) Halliday, Donald’s grandparents

Donald’s father Cecil Alfred Halliday

Cecil Alfred Halliday and Maude Louise Mary Vanstone, Donald’s parents

Patricia Maude Halliday and Donald Cecil Edmund Halliday

Donald with his parents, Cecil and Maude Halliday

Donald with his cousin Elsie Betty Hawker, daughter of Norah Victoria Halliday & William Lock Hawker

Donald Halliday as a child

Donald Halliday as a Radio Officer in the Merchant Navy during WW2

Donald Halliday in the Merchant Navy

Brother Donald

Br Donald spent time here in 1939 as a Nurse Probationer

Silverwillow, Merchant Navy ship in which Donald was torpedoed in October 1942

Donald is buried in the graveyard at Belmont Abbey, Hereford.

For more about Benedictine Oblates see the Belmont Abbey Website