MY “BUTT” ASCENDED TO 5D YESTERDAYso like pretty damn nasty twerk til u smile, k. 0. This list is the Mean Girls Burn Book of Alt Lit1. Steve Roggenbuck is the Skrillex of Alt Lit2. Beach Sloth is the (love of my life) Santa Claus of Alt Lit3. Tao Lin is the autism of alt lit lol lol(x2)4. meta knight is the barney fife of alt lit (in a good way) 5.michael hessel-mial is the willie nelson of alt lit (nice )6.HTMLgiant is the arrogant ivy league student of alt lit6. chase kersey is the ke$ha of alt lit6.Janey Smith is the pervy angel of Alt Lit9. Noah Cicero is the Aaron Lewis of alt-lit10. Rachel Benson is NOT the punky brewster of Alt Lit11. no one is the writer of alt lit (lol) (kill me) 12.blare coughlin is the st. bernard of Alt Lit13.google docs is the aol chat of alt lit < am proud of this>14. young chakotay butler is the magnum cock of alt-lit <YES>15. SNCK PCK is the nike of alt lit (via sweatshops)16. IRL is the dreamscape of fAlt Lit17. dustymouths is the kind older uncle of alt lit18. John Rogers is the Willy Wonka of alt lit19. Jack Williams is the Taking Back Sunday of alt-lit20. Andrea Coates is the Princess Zelda of alt lit

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21. Santino Dela is the ALY LOHAN of Alt Lit22. 666 is the crucifix of Alt Lit22. elliot barbernell is the tiny cute cupcake of alt lit/justin beiber of alt lit23. hannah lee is the mix CD of alt-lit24. comic sans is the dick dastardly of alt lit24. tyranosex is the Steve Kaufman of Alt Lit25. SUBTWEETING ARE THE SONNETS OF ALT LIT--nice26. This ‘List’ is the ‘beginning’ of the ‘end’ of ‘alt lit’. HEHE27. Frick is the Fuck of alt lit28. My mom is the Henry Kissinger of Alt Lit29. UNCLE DENISE IS THE BRUCE WILLIS OF ALT LIttt30. STEPHEN TULLY DIERKS IS THE ‘WHITE PERSON’ OF ALT LIT31. GUILLAUME MORRISSETTE IS THE dream husband of alt lit32. DENNIS COOPER IS THE dennis quaid of alt lit33. SARAH JEAN ALEXANDER IS THE dream wife of ALT LIT34. ANDRUW WORTHINGTON IS THE new willis plummer of alt lit35. HEIKO JULIEN IS THE MCDONALDS (mcrib) of ALT LIT36. THERON JACOBS IS THE caps lock of ALT LITTTT37. LIVIA FRANCHINI IS THE JMW TURNER OF ALT LIT38. JACOB STEINBERG IS THE carrie bradshaw of alt lit39. MATT ROMNEY IS THE PRESIDENT.40. DUDEBUTT IS THE AUSTIN ISLAM QUOTE MEME of ALT LIT41. NATHAN MASSERANG 43. Crispin Best is the WORST of Alt Lit. (GEDDIT>>??? yes/no)44. Internet Poetry is the (!!!!!!)45. horse.ebooks/ponies.edu is the nic cage of alt lit46. Ebooks are the Table Salt of alt lit.47. Ebenezer Albacore is the Strom Thurmond of alt lit48. petulanceparty/Iris Karuna is the ghost teen of alt lit49. goatse is the bane of alt lit50. 'numbered lists' are the street fighter2 hd turbo remix machine of alt lit---yooo who plays sf?51. 'i' is the 'zarathustra' of alt lit52. ashley obscura is the voodoo princess of alt lit

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53. Joe Donovan is the Douglas Bubbletrousers of alt lit.54. @halfdope is the kendall jenner of alt lit.55. murrene is the Jagged Little Pill of Alt Lit56. denzel washington is the little orphan annie of alt lit57. @theriverrambles is the bob marley of alt lit58. Lungbones is “that guy” of altlit

FUCK UR GOATSE SHIT :(:(:(:( ;) ;) ;) ;)

Feel sad about the state of alt lit in general when alt lit crush posts get 100+ comments but no one comments about actual boobs,...whatHMMM ACTUAL BOOb<NICEs . … NEVER HEARD OF THOSE, SORRYboobs, <NICE those are those weird things you crush pills on, right? < NICE who else is tempted to just delete everythingiits been done before dont u would be ruining the fun

who is elliot barnernell? - austin islam

I FEEL LIKE THIS COULD BE A NEW WAY TO MAKE LOVE?????????cyborgasm yesi love u like justin loves selena - austin islamHEY FAT ANGEL <<<< DONT SUBTWEET ME IN GOOGLE DOCS THAT IS PLAIN >>>>RUDE<<<<<is this ‘out of control’ yet? yes niceyou gotta be all lookin for faww come on why you gotta play like thisim sorry i stole yr lraqthat was outta line

HEY WHO’s RuininG THE fun???its okhahhehehehehehehexo cool heres an l for you“l”ty “lol”

I LOVE YOU TOOIM GONNA HUG YOUA LOTAM I THE ONLY NON ANONYMOUS PERSON IN ALT LIT WHO CAN’T SPELL ???GUYS I THINK I HAVE DYSLEXIA BUT I ALSO THINK IT MIGHT BE CAUSE I TYPE LIKE A DUMBASS ON THE INTERNET TOO MUCH ??? ? ? nobody can spellorthography is a giant Conspiracy >> NICE, u can quote me on that

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- ANON #46353 THIS IS AOL CHAT IF AOL CHAT WAS ALT LIT

i AM THE NOBODY OF ALT LIT AND I DONT CAREI LOVE I LOVE U PEOPLEWE LOVE YOU TOOi cant do this in real lifethe internet is extremely okayits not like badu fukrs u fukrs u fukrs u fukrs etc ur good, ur goodi think we are gonna explode into a hug chathappy hug chat

●be okeveryone be okbe fine with doing nothing and not feeling anything but BUTTS (pretty funny) THANKS ;) ;) ;) THAT’S ME ;) ;) ;) PRETTY AND FUNNY ;) ;) ;) (LOL KIL ME)a flower in my hand and a gun to my head this is alt lit

how do i join alt lit????????????????????????---just email tao lin he’ll let u in (binky.tabby@gmail.com) type your response here: ___fucking write something, christ _____________________ just write stuff that you feel and if people like it, they like it, if they dont, they dont. who cares. do you think anyone was ever like “hey.... wanna join.... transcendentalism …. ?” fuck no. it was just a common mode of thought. ____________________________________________________________do you want to join alt lit or do you want to make friends?

I CAME 4 ALT LIT BUT STAYED 4 THE FWENDS <<< CUTE ALERT

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>>>>__________________________________________________________________________________________someday i think i am going to learn how to fly an airplane with one of those smoke machines on the back of it and i am going to fly a loop de e loop in the air and make a giant heart

and in the heart im going to write 1. “I LOVE THE INTERNET ENERGY #IRL”

2. I NEED TO TAKE FLYING LESSONS3. i need to learn how to take a shower without crying

(I HAD A PHASE WHERE I COULD ONLY SHOWER IF I SPENT ~ 1 HOUR CRYING SAT DOWN ON THE SHOWER FLOOR, POSSIBLY COVERING THE PLUG AND LETTING THE WATER RISE, I DONT

KNOW WHAT FILLED UP THE BASIN (IS IT A BASIN)?? THE SHOWER WATER OR MY ~TEARS~~~ :’’’’( :’’’’( :’’’(

4. when i masturbate i turn the bathtub upside down5. sometimes tears tell you where you need to go

6. where’d you go guys?!?!?!? guys?!?!?I AM HERE

7. :PICTURE OF VAGINA:8. all i wanna do is cash register noise cash register noise gunshot

(GOOD)

jesus christ lol9. U@E

10. this is fun i think11. im having fun

12. are you having fun13. U$@

i feel moderate amounts of funi feel, idk, it feels perfectly ok

that is good-poem

14. 8=> c=8

15. im bizarro lit

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16. how come alt lit ppl dont read bks (GOOD POINT)17. is alt lit an alternative to reading books?

18. 19. i think i

20. decent amounts of fun herem going to become a manatee so help me god (hahahaha i appreciate u)

a. im gonna take my name of twhaaaaaaaaaaa hahahaf

thawhahahahahahahaha loHAVE A HTER ON DECK

b. HATER ON important question that i am looking for an answer to

c. THIS SHIT IS REAL

d. HATER ALERT whaaaaaaat?

e.important question that i am looking for an answer to, like, a serious answer: who all reads books that are not conventionally considered “alt lit” and who just reads alt lit exclusively? or like, i would like to hear how often ppl read other shit and what kind of shit. idk,, i do i pretty much only read pre-1900 books ok, sweet, what do you read, / i like oscar wilde.

f. important question that i am looking for an answer to

g.

h. IM

i. i like to read books that i learn something from.

j. <≈8) jesus murphy what the Heck is goin on Holy Hek I SINCERELY HOPE everybody likes their current skull, it’s hard to change that after birth Christ am I even alive ….yeah obviouslyfeel like this is the closet to marriage I ever want to get. I am inside you all. Now. We’re starving in the belly of a whale oh god comic sans

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this is like a never ending vortex of changing letters and words and FUCK IMPACT UGHI WANTED THIS TO BE A POSITIVE <≈8) OF FUN AND HAPPINESSOK THIS IS ALRIGHT BUT VERY JARRING This font was created with the intention of disrupting your thought processes. hihihih :HELLO DER:TODAY I WENT TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE AND HE FED ME LIQUOR AND TURKEYIT WAS ALRIGHT I THINKWE SMOKED A LOT AND HE PLAYED US CURE RECORDS WHICH WAS KIND OF WEIRD BECAUSE ROBERT SMITH DOESNT SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD SMOKE POT ANY OF THE TIME EVERMAYBE HE DIDI DONT KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT ROBERT SMITHI bet he smokes, he’s probably super cool if you’re nice and not an idiot DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ROBERT SMITHI DONTI ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS THINGTHIS IS A TERRIBLE POEMWHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFEalso why was i writing in caps lock im taking a drink i am sitting back in bed i am asking myself questions and i do not know how to answer any of themi am just down here writing a goddam novel look at me gothe internet is cool i thinkthe internet is kind of like your older cousin who you kind of know but not really who gives you high fives sometimes but mostly forgets you exist its cool though

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youre cool with the internet. its a busy thingits got a lot to do and not enough time thank a penis is the closest thing to happiness that Gosh ever gave me

hey wtf is going on down here u frikrs? every1s frikken frikin. The future or a pile of hungry wolves finding nothing but a ton of Andy Warhol bananas on the sidewalk on which to roost. Rooster Cogburn etc. maybe Charles Portis is alt i feel like william Saroyan might be gonna find out when my cat stops meowing

the idea of a pile of wolves makes me strangely horny. fun frickin stuff why the heck is frick like our lil catch phrasewho(steve roggenbuck) woke up one morning and was like heyim gonna say frickits gonna be the new Hip Thing to doand then they went out and did it

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wowim gonna say frick a lot is it worse than zonkers?its about on parARE YOU PRETTY GOOD AT MAKING SUSHI? also who the hell posted goathsewbutt stuff i was online for new years duh <<< SAME >>>WOULD EVERYONE FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE IF I WAS naked??? OR.. . . ??? THANK U

i want to be a shit in ur bowels

nobody is real

we are all anonymous

Who is Austin Islam?

~ Austin Islam

im not afraid of the oceanare you afraid of the ocean

My Dad took me on a halibut fishing trip in Alaska and I hid in the bathroom the whole time. I was afraid of catching a fish because I was sure he would drag me down to the bottom of the ocean. and he did, :wub: :wub: :wub:

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[judges fall off building into car park] iim going to give you a 7/10 [walks into restaurant] “i was okay in the seai am gay” WOW I know what I am d0ng hey hey heyread my frickin peener frickers, I can’t remember what it wasmaybe if beach sloth touches me gently on the peener ill become a good writermaybe if i drink a lot of roggenbuck-blessed cum ill become a good writermaybe if heiko julien says let’s have sex to me ill become a good writeri knowi hope so I’ll probably make a bunch of it before hand, make some rolls and stuff while I’m there. i am not vry much a fun of this here ass :( hey guys that’s my uncle that’s not nice :( we are all in a game and some of us are playing it right. that is how it works. but we can all have fun. - obnoxious statems

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‘lonely poem’ nice lost sight of the first pagers, deep in the woods into the farther reachesand fartherand farther... / ^’ -=- = =-= =-=;=[;+/=/-

o.O.o

I am too drunk for this shit i feel so fucked. FRICKED. fucked. stop cleaning

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your butthole up it is upside down like your smile u will frickety frackety never fix it .butthole my smile is right side up! nicegood lord help me.666 go gothetc

go west young man

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what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch i’ll have you know i graduated top of my class in the navy seals and i’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on al-quaeda and i have over 300 confirmed kills i am trained in gorilla warfare and i’m the top sniper in the entire us armed forces you are nothing to me but another target i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth (*)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(*) ^THIS IS THE LINE^ HEY GUYS LOOK AT ALL THE FUN IM HAVEING DOWN HERE. IT”S RLLY COOL DOWN HERE. WOW EVERYONE ABOVE THE LINE IS DUMBBB SURE IS NICE is “goth” even a direction u can gois it one directionhaha that was terrible

do u lyk me? y/n/under moonlight on saturday nights/with cheese/only for the sex a/s/l are you an alien? sex is nice, but I’m doing it for the cheese im gonna frickin puke that makes two of us

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:makes that two of us:

i swear 2 gosh guysim gonna frickin pukeim gonna frickin censor u im gonna ruin yr fancy cashmere sweaterim not jokingim gonna do it to you im gonna puek all over your goddamn cashmere sweaterwhy do u even have one anywaywhat the fuck do you need a cashmere fucking sweater forim so mad im so frickin mad about this sweater too bad cashmere is so soft :(so pissed about how soft cashmere is Dude, cashmere is a really cool thing.The reason it is so soft is because each and every fiber is only a few microns in diameterThat is a really fine diameter to squeeze out of a pore in a goatIt’s like the ultimate playdough playsetThat can make sweaters my peener is softer than cashmere. this is a poem.[everyone snaps] my peener is softer than cashmerethis is a poemabout my peenerand cashmereand softnessoh wait now it’s hardmy peener is hardlike the polar bear ofyour breasts

x.X.x.o.x.X.x.o.x.X.x

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the polar bear of your breasts

THE POLAR BEAR OF YOUR BREASTS

this is a poem about nippleswider than saucersflying ones, in outerspace jam welcome to the space jam! its frickin cold in my houseits goddamn motherfucking cold in my housewhy the hell is it coldi paid the heat bill

somebody is going to find me all mummifiedlike those people in the andes ok im ok with joining the space jamtime placelocationbyoS(the s stands for space) what about J though?well the jam finds you

come on and slamwelcome to the

vJam

peanutbutter and jamlick the peanut butter off me

get it stuck in your gums like a dogesmack smacking

but never getting anywherelike sex

without cummingzing

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ha ha ha were alive

were frickin alive this is crazy

somebody call the cops

(were alive)

so I really liek this fellatio thing

how muchdo you want to

“make out” with it

GO AHEAD AND GET PISSEDTHROW AROUND “ATTENTION WHORE” LIKE IT MEANS SOMETHING ANYMORE

IT TOOK US THIS LONGCAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

IT TOOK US

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THISFUCKING

LONGthis long

IT TOOK US UNTIL

THE INTERNET

TO FIND OUT THAT THE MOST FUNDAMENTALVOCALIZATIONEXPRESSION

MANIFESTATIONOF HUMANITY IS a penis, a flacid penis<=3(More like <≈8)

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LOVE ME (k.)

to what?

lol

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hey guise check me out down here something crazy is going on down here guys wow ur missing it wow omg etc.noi am on the internet there are many things i see here it all goes so fast and i wonder where all the time goes because gosh it really does have to go somewhere i think it’s worth it.the first time i used the internet was in 1997 and i thought you could type whatever you wanted in the url bar and it would magically take you there. now its 2013 and i am confused. you are a netscape navigator. i am standing still and closing my eyes real tight.

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an internet explorerthe world wide web is like this great big safarii think youre worth it<3 ^dawww

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Peenerbutter----this is the best thing to come out of this night hehe woooooot

when does this doc end?never, it lives on in your heartthat is awesomealtlitpress is a websitei thinklet me check

i feel

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i am notbut i feel like i am feeling like you’re half-way therefeeling like you’re not at all theregone, like a skipped stone, into the distance maybeor into the depth A PARABLE: ON THE INTERNET

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people say that all of this stuff on the internet is just nonsense and mostly has nothing to do with irl, bc theyre just not aware concerning this someone on the internet said that if you spent your whole life on the internet you yourself would be nothing but the internet and you would rid yourself of all your other cares <- I also need food/alcohol but yeah, mentally maybe. ‘i bet that is something someone said on the internet’‘you have won’‘but unfortunately only on the internet’‘no, irl, on the internet you have lost’

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the internet IS irlya dawg^ i feel more alive on the internet than i do when i am standing outside waiting for the bus so i guess that is something. most things are ‘somethning’

some things arent somethingwhoa, logic bomb

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there are things going on right nowthat are here, going on, and right nowwho can i jerk off on today

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is a thought we oftensextothers who are u ghost <- which ghost?which one are u <- i’m a petulant teen ghostim a wild teen its ‘13 bro “year of the wild teen”its my year :) <- lucky u!thanks! :))->^ this is some low budget ass shit cant even chat what is this? <-seems shitty/kill

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and so one questions the very nature of life itself lol u ever wach free willy whislt robo trippingmichael jackson had it all figured out bro Free Willy Goes Robotripping IV i have never had more fun in my life until today

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this is it i had more fun but it involved a lot more illegal substancesi’d be into doing illegal substances and this at the same time though. that would be pretty fun i thinkor really fucked, but either way, fun. there are only so many :infinity sign: things that can be communicated in a text box on the internetSadly for me allimony is not one of

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them.~ ~there is something beautiful about the restraint and potential a text box offers

- thank u ladies and gentlemen if uve ever realistically thought about what ur dick woudl look like as literally a poop peeyouuu might be a THANKS OBAMA

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i wish i had some alcohol right now i wish i was fucking right now. me too, wanna fuck?sure. asl? <- what’s asl lolAge/Species/Liability agreementhi sorry to interrupt but im thinking about charring my dick in my grill what sort of settings?? ZERO HEAT. lots of mustard

don’t do it!!!!!!!!!!!!

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im imagining kind of waiting patiently and beaming kind of matronly on someone casually eating my dickseems nicepeople coming together asl > shout out to me thank u^wtf is asl thoevery time u say asl on the internet > thank u it’s a lil shout out 2 me the pink cursor is pretty cute just saying. im haveing sex with the pink cursor

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;) that is cute ;)lol

who wants to hop on this 8≈ddddflaccifiedwho wants The D i want it but only if it stays small imagine if a snow globe was literally the dick of a yetiimagine if peace, love, happines, forgiveness, uh, sex, stuff, food, water, shelter, medicine, um, etc., clothes, electricity, etc., peener.

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beautifulthe most beautiful dong in the world ‘literally’

can i put this information str8

into my bloodstream… …? ya it’s weed. or like ‘weed’

who wants to kis? :* :**: ME.

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god bless u:* :*hey is austin islam here cus i just wanna do a s/o to austin islam’s cover of ‘shut it down’ by drake bc i watch it a couple times per week maybe i like it a lot

one time i killed a basil plant by accidentOne time i killed a basil plant just to watch it die Don’t worry... I was on thyme B)

story time so a gang of feral cats is squatting my back yard and we raised a little kitten with spots who was kind of a dick to the other cats but then it got older and older and now there is a new litter of kittens and this spotted cat is older with an old dick and

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rapes the kittens. its kind of(vry) fucked. honestly if i was a tabby hell yeah id try to fuck on the dogs the cute ones hi pink im cool *falls down stairs* your cute *stroke* *has stroke*

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hey guys do you think Drake is bad at music? I think so....

drake looks exactly like mr potato head >>>> drake is mr potato headclearly iM i like drake personally but them again i also like the movie bradely cooper staring bruce willis kids

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LMS if u agreei like mr potato head personally

but i also like bruce willis so i guess were in the same boat

PLEASE RETWEET!!!!!!! >>

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truly dam can i just get some

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space to write ‘dick char’ without some

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ahole cursoring on my dang shit dangg

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8≈D <-seems like teabagging a bowl of soupIs supposed to be flaccid dong. But isn’t that what you would do

with yours?with my soup? ya :)

hey heres a term for you guys throw around acronym you know fomo = fear of missing out there you go FUCKK!!! that’s not newwwwwwwwwwww. but ok. its useful ok i think the most handy acronym is laser(even tho its an initialism) cna you fix me with a LASER in my face? i can fix u with SCUBAwe can make u betterfaster

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strongerpart of a french techno band how the frick do you align your chaakrsa guys this is serious < i need to know toooo honestly step one be indian step two masalaaa haha theres a great lunch bfufet like 5 mins from my homne u should come

“because you’re gorgeous, i’d do anything for you” i get emotional about my guacamole theres a rumor going on that were on the internet

what’ s the internet? there’s no more tomatoes. theres a rumor going on that all of existence is the intersnet turning gay id vouch for that there

Suddenly we all wake up

and we have to go to gym class

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does anyone /really/ know what is going on noyes.

i exist in an altered state of mind because of the internet i think“girls just want to have fun”“oh, girls just want to have fun”“that’s all they really want”“some fun”“when the working day is done”“oh”“girls just want to have fun” with ur $ iu jsut take a shot every time steve says ‘truley’ in the spreecast truley’truley’truley’truley’truley’truley’truley’truley’truley’ YOU ARE WELCOME no, they’re drunk.Drunk people are always welcome with me.

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thank GOD, bc i’m drunk.

ilu, ily, ilu, ily, ilu, ily> thank u Who does the U signify. Andwhy are you poyamorowous on thisU character?

sorry say again? oh. i get it. U is short for UBLAll of those characters are of a normal height.o u clever nowO I clever always B)lul best emoticon (.)(.) Lul breast emoticon oiops srytake a shit every time steve says ‘anything’ take a shit every time [...] Something in the way she poops / she know I don’t need no other toilet my dog is multi-talented: 1. he’s a jackass. 2. he fuckin sucks is this alt lit?sure y not, fukr alt lit is sexi hope not i liek the other kidn too muchbut maybe alt lit can be hugs

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literally im about a shithole literally im about just typing bullshitis alt lit about who can type the worst?

literally im about to expode into cock jewelry literally im about the size of a fat whale whose literally so fat other whales wont even kiss it

(body policing/body shaming/fat people) if u become fat can you talk about fat wahles then pretty worth it it seems well how fat then in butter literally im about to go ham *turns into bacon* literally im about three shits short of an arboretum there it goes, into the garbage hehe keep going!!!! :’D litearly im a tobacky chew :) ltiearly im aboute theos kid oewh diesd :) lteislrly lefs tehh beuiltngi with twoa adsis int my hair

i’m not anonymous am i??? can anyone tell me?? ? ? ? ? ? ?

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the voice of the internet is the voice of my danguses i like that this is happening v thats an arrow pointing dwards not a v u idot haha jk ilu all :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))is this ok that im doing this))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))what color am i even)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))god just accidentally clicked ‘paint all’ and every single texture i see is mahogany))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))^wow cool poem :)^wow cool poem :)^wow cool poem :)^wow cool poem :)))))))))))))))))))))))))*)))))))))))))))))))#)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))#)))WHOAOAAAAAAOAOWHAOA IM PINK!!!! AHAHAHAAHAA WHEEEEEEE WHOAAAAWWWWWWW AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA I WCAN DO ANYTHING!!?????!?!!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~D`D`D~D~D~DDD&DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~D~D~D~D~D~D~D~DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDthis is getting messy i feel bashfulL:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))DON’T FEEL BASHFUL GET EVENYU ARE PINK CURSOR I am bad typistguys im going to do a reading of a tao lin poem here it goes when i was five i went sexting with my familymy dad caught a peenermy mom caught a peenermy brother caught a peeneri caught a peener that night we ate [eenerthe next night we ate peener

pls46

the next night we ate peenerthe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate peenerthe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate peenerthe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next niplplspls pls pls stop. ght we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethe next night we ate whalethere wasnt another night.

Scurvy is a bitch, isn’t it?STOP. gonna cry. Father: Got some bad news, son. I’m gay. You don’t exist.Son: :pouf:Father: But I was the first man to give a pancake a blowjob in space, so there’s that.

pls47

fuckin whales

im gonna punch ole! through the ceiling

holy heck im gonna punch a hole through the ceilingim gonnathe ceiling in this room is way lowi can reach it i thinki might bruise my knuckles a loti dont like my knuckles tho so its ok did anyone play sonic the hedgehogwhat the hell was tails’ problem anyway^Pretty sure it was the extra tail

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and why was silver some sort of fancy ass magic future hedgehog

i dont understand my peener this will have happened in the future tense.this is never being happened in the orders which were thought about to be expected to want to have happending everybody gets a happyending I need more Chaos Emeraldz for my self esteem this is happening this has already happenedI went on a date with Sonic the Hedgehog and he tried to rape my drink i body identify as a flagon of shit chips?*leg do u guys remember google wavefeel like that *things culd be coolfor *thing like this *a thing i body identify as a flagon of shit chips?*leg do u guys remember google wavefeel like that *things culd be coolfor *thing like this *a thing i body identify as a flagon of shit chips?*leg do u guys remember google wavefeel like that *things culd be coolfor *thing like this

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*a thing i body identify as a flagon of shit chips?*leg do u guys remember google wavefeel like that *things culd be coolfor *thing like this *a thing this happened 30 min ago.Arguably it will never be happening again in exactly the same way, bc of my peener. argubably one of our dad is a dentistargubaly our dads have had tethargalbyl they will continue to do sountil one of usforgetsto brushour dad argubably one of our dad is a dentistargubaly our dads have had tethargalbyl they will continue to do sountil one of usforgetsto brushour dad argubably one of our dad is a dentistargubaly our dads have had tethargalbyl they will continue to do sountil one of usforgetsto brushour dad argubably one of our dad is a dentistargubaly our dads have had teth

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argalbyl they will continue to do sountil one of usforgetsto brushour dad Your peener IS a game changer. Sadly, only from snakes to ladders.

THIS TABLE IS THE NEXT LEVEL

table poop uooptable poop uooptable poop uooptable poop uoopfour in a row *yes*

COMPUTER AM Bingo ME

IS IT”S A FUCKING TABLE

@ UNDER THE BOARDWALK

battleship BEEPING EYE free space

VAMPYRE No Parking STUPID WHOL*LY SHITWHOL*LY SHITWHOL*LY SHITWHOL*LY SHIT

do u guys feel like ‘shit’ is an overplayed word and u should either say ‘twat’ ‘cunt’ or ‘nibble’ damn im litearly hungry for ccorn

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and the nutrition corn provides my body is a perfect factory of corn needsdo u guys feel like ‘shit’ is an overplayed word and u should either say ‘twat’ ‘cunt’ or ‘nibblecorn’ damn im litearly hungry for ccorn and the nutrition corn provides my body is a perfect factory of corn needsdo u guys feel like ‘shit’ is an overplayed word and u should either say ‘twat’ ‘cunt’ or ‘nibble’ damn im litearly hungry for ccorn and the nutrition corn provides my body is a perfect factory of corn needsdo u guys feel like ‘shit’ is an overplayed word and u should either say ‘twat’ ‘cunt’ or ‘nibble’ damn im litearly hungry for ccorn and the nutrition corn provides my body is a perfect factory of corn needs

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~~AWARD WINNIGN POEM AWARD GOES TOOOOOO!!~~~~THIS POEM:im a dadim jk hehe-danny alex ~~AWARD WINNIGN POEM AWARD GOES TOOOOOO!!~~~~THIS POEM:im a dadim jk hehe-danny alex ~~AWARD WINNIGN POEM AWARD GOES TOOOOOO!!~~~~THIS POEM:im a dadim jk hehe-danny alex ~~AWARD WINNIGN POEM AWARD GOES TOOOOOO!!~~~~THIS POEM:im a dadim jk hehe-danny alex holy shit i think i just leapt to a new dimension its full of ballpoint pens fuck yes, i love the ballpoint pen dimension Poem: i am the ballpoint penin the dimension of yournaked body damn i need to build a work work but f it this is some fun stuff am i right guyshonestly it would hey who the fuck italicised me come out the woodworkcome at me damn i need to build a work work but f it this is some fun stuff am i right guyshonestly it would hey who the fuck italicised me come out the woodwork

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come at me damn i need to build a work work but f it this is some fun stuff am i right guyshonestly it would hey who the fuck italicised me come out the woodworkcome at me damn i need to build a work work but f it this is some fun stuff am i right guyshonestly it would hey who the fuck italicised me come out the woodworkcome at me

what a neat scenereally sets a moodso does this review

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Motherfuck that picture is of horses

what a neat scenereally sets a moodso does this review that pic is lotteryly a horrsepic what a neat scenereally sets a moodso does this review NEVER HAD A MOM did u like that ride at allim just tryin to make a good ride what a neat scenereally sets a moodso does this review that pic is lotteryly a horrsepic did u like that ride at allim just tryin to make a good ride that pic is lotteryly a horrsepic did u like that ride at allim just tryin to make a good ride that pic is lotteryly a horrsepic

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did u like that ride at allim just tryin to make a good ride Dude, horses. lol I feel that a lot of modern love songs are really a lot more shallow than they seemEven when you get away from those that immediately veer towards sexVery few of them get beyond clichesAnd talk about how they light up your dayOr even just how wanting them to be happy is your single greatest imperativeAnd that bothers me But Ice Cube’s jimmy runs pretty deepmy gramps was made of horses

Holy wow. We are all gay moms. <-lola

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0 Add Headings (Format > Paragraph styles) and they will appear in your table of contents dude horses and tarantulas don’t get along I don’t know why you thought they could go bowling for soup together i once made a campfire out of six horses I once made 6 horsesout of a campfire holy shit thats metal

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thats the most metal thing ive ever heard i gotta piss Do you ever stand up so fast that you almost pass out? YES--i literally DID pass out the other dayI did that once too. Took off a little hair on a stereo stand.I feel that it is pretty much your body telling your brain to slow downSo you don’t go flying out the top of your skull thatd be rad as hell thobrain all catapulting up to the ceilingsticking there slightly It’d be likeTHe worst fucking pancake accident you mean :the best: ;p♕

peener peer

dongle

dingus

yup. it’s 2:45 a.m.

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We live in the same timezone EST swag theres so much snow on the groundwhat the hek I want to create something beautiful. do it weather why are you always snowing what the frig is up with tahtim confused what is this this is really weirdwho is talking right nowway to steal my peener!!!!!!!!!!!!or, color i guess, or both im about to fall overim talkingsorryit stole itselfits a good font herebetter You know whatI am sticking with calibriIt is a beautiful font Hoefler and frere make the most beautiful fonts.They are my favorite fontsmiths.

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calibri’s a bad bitchbaddest bitch this font is called ubuntoits the best name UBUNTUfuck you omg hahhahahathat is comic sansyoure funny people are only real on the internetoooo thanksi dont think im funnymost of the time i kind of want to pee in bed a lot

i guess im funny

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on the internet EW GROSS You are probably pretty cool in person also. It would be cool if i could be sure, but it seems pretty probable . i second that I sleaped So the funniest thing happened to me the other day: I went to the store to buy the stuff and my mom was a horse!!!! I couldnt talk to her cos she had food in her mouth shoulda put a peener on it / nun -orn/ Never become bored with your life. or ur peener

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/ Be the peener./ Love who YOU are./ You aren’t alone/ Hehe./ #YOLO LIFE I >3 u meta knigt *LIEF someone should put this in a museum

someone should put ur mom in a museumsomeone should ur peener in a vagina museum

someone should put ur vagina museum in my butt please kiss my peener like eight times on the mouth, thanksok!

welp... needs more unicorns

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*THIS FEELS LIKE THE END

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