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MRS. JONES

Scene: an office at four oclock in the afternoon

Characters: a girlMrs. JonesMrs. Jones 2Mrs. Jones 3

Mrs. Jones goes into an office

MJ Good afternoon.Girl Good afternoon.MJ My names Jones. Anne Jones. I come from Wales, from Cardiff. I saw an

advertisement. It said: Anne Jones. Money. Four oclock. Tuesdayafternoon.And it gave this address.

Girl Ah, yes. Wait in here, please, Mrs. Jones.

She takes Mrs. Jones into another office.

MJ Thank you.Girl With these two ladies.MJ Oh, thank you.

The girl goes out.

MJ Good afternoon.MJ2 Good afternoon.MJ Good afternoon.MJ3 Good afternoon.MJ Good afternoon.

MJ Nice day, isnt it?MJ2 Yes.MJ3 Yes, it is.

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The girl comes in.

Girl Now, Mrs. Jones?MJ ]

MJ2 }Yes?MJ3 ]Girl Mrs. Jones.MJ ]MJ2 }Yes?MJ3 ]Girl Which one of you is Mrs. Jones?MJ I am.MJ2 So am I.

MJ3 So am I.MJ No, my name is Jones.MJ2 So is mine.MJ3 So is mine.Girl I want to speak to Mrs. Anne Jones.MJ Anne Jones, thats me.MJ2 No, I am Anne Jones.MJ3 Thats my name too.Girl Anne Elizabeth Jones?MJ Yes! My name is Anne Elizabeth Jones.MJ2 So is mine.MJ3 Mine is, too!Girl I want to speak to Mrs. Anne Elizabeth Jones, from Cardiff.MJ Thats right, I come from Cardiff.MJ2 (in a Welsh accent) So do I.MJ3 So do I.Girl The Mrs. Jones I want to see has got three children.MJ Yes, thats me. Ive got three children.MJ2 So have I.Girl What about you?MJ3 I have three children.Girl You havent. What are they called?MJ3 What are yours called?MJ Alan, Michael and David.MJ3 So are mine.MJ2 What a coincidence! So are mine.Girl So you all say you are Mrs. Jones?MJ ]

MJ2 }Yes!MJ3 ]Girl And you all saw the advertisement in the newspaper.

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MJ ]MJ2 }Yes!MJ3 ]Girl (very seriously) Well, Mrs. Anne Elizabeth Jones, who lives in Cardiff and has

three children, hasnt paid any tax for the last five years. She must pay the

government five thousand pounds.MJ2 Er..actually, my name isnt Jones.MJ3 Nor is mine, and I dont live in Cardiff, eitherMJ2 Nor do I. I live in Edinburgh, as a matter of fact. I didnt understand the

advertisement.MJ3 Nor did I. I didnt realize it meant Anne. Elizabeth Jones.MJ2 Nor did I. My name isnt Anne Elizabeth Jones.MJ3 Shes the woman youre looking for. (pointing at MJ)MJ Oh, dear.

MJ2 Yes, of course she is. Sorry to have troubled you. Goodbye.The two women leave.

Girl So you are Mrs. Jones.MJ Yes.Girl Congratulations.MJ Eh?Girl You are a rich woman.MJ Im not!Girl Yes, you are. Youve got a lot of money!MJ I havent. I cant pay that tax.Girl There isnt any tax.MJ I havent got. No tax??Girl No, that was just a story. I had to find the real Mrs. Jones.MJ Why?Girl Because the real Mrs. Jones is a rich woman.MJ I dont understand.Girl Mrs. JonesAnnie Your great-aunt Mary died last week MJ Oh,noPoor great-aunt MaryGirl And her money goes to you!MJ To me? But great-aunt Mary was ..a millionaire!Girl Thats right.MJ So now I am a millionaire?Girl Erno.MJ Oh...Girl You are half a millionaire.MJ Half a millionaire? Which half? The top half or the bottom half?

Girl No, no,no. You share your money with another relation.MJ Half a millionaire! Who do I share the money with?Girl Me!

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MJ You?Girl Yes, Im your cousin Jane.MJ Cousin Jane? Really?Girl Yes, thats right.MJ And now we are millionaires!

Girl Its great! Lets go out and celebrate.MJ Good idea. Lets go Oh! Cousin Jane?Girl Yes?MJ Can you lend me some money for the bus ticket?

THE END