Hello! Welcome back to Movin’ On Up!, my Creation To Future

challenge! This challenge was created by Jo (joandsarah77) over at

Desirable Discourses. The point is to guide your sims from the

Stone Age through the Space Age in stages. My sims are currently

in the Wood Age, which is the second and final part of Stage I.

This is written as an 80’s sitcom, with exactly the amount of logic,

craftsmanship, and continuity that implies.

BRYAN: What’s the name for the blue thing with the ears?

BELLA: What blue thing with the ears?

BRYAN: The big blue thing with the ears that hops everywhere and

follows me around.

BELLA: I don’t know. I can’t see it.

BRYAN: Well, I can.

BELLA: I believe you. Can we eat it?

BRYAN: I dunno – I’ll find out. Oh… It’s gone now.

BELLA: Auuuugh!

BELLA: Eeeeeeauuuuugh! It hurts!

BRYAN: Don’t yell like that! You scared me! Why does it hurt?

BELLA: Try forcing a cantaloupe out of your nostril and then ask

me why it hurts!

BRYAN: What’s a cantaloupe? How could it get up your nose in

the first place? What muscle would you use to push it out? Why – ?

BELLA: SHUT UP HAVING A BABY IS HARD!

BRYAN: There now, wasn’t that worth it? Lookit the wittle cutie

wootie! Lookit choo! Lookit choo! Lookit the pewfect wittle fingers,

and the pewfect wittle toses, and –

BELLA: Yes, yes. Now take Clorinda,* will you? Having a baby is

hungry work.

BRYAN: Clorinda?

BELLA: Yes. This one is named Clorinda. Here. (hands Clorinda over)

BRYAN (to Clorinda): Hi, Clorinda! We’re going to bestest friends, yes

we are!

*Note from esmeiolanthe: I can’t remember character names; this is the sim’s name.

BELLA: What are those?

BRYAN: They’re purple.

BELLA: Can we eat them?

BRYAN: Dunno. (bites into pole bean with an interrupted snick)

They’re all right. (picks “string” out of his teeth) I don’t like that

long thin thing, though.

BELLA: Do you want me to take over?

BRYAN: Sure. I have to do a thing anyway.

CLERK: Sir, what are you doing?

BRYAN: I’m digging for treasure!

CLERK: You’re not going to find anything. This is a sandbox.

BRYAN: But I can try. You never know.

CLERK: O-kaaaay. Let me know if you decide you want to buy

something.

BRYAN: I want to buy something now.

CLERK: A leopard skin?

BRYAN: I think it’s giraffe.

CLERK: How can you tell?

BRYAN (cheerfully): I can’t. I’m guessing. Whichever, though, my

boy needs it. (proudly) He’s big now.

BRYAN (in hushed tones): He’s so big now, isn’t he?

BELLA (normally): He has grown up a lot.

BRYAN (in hushed tones): Quiet! Don’t wake Clarence up! He’s

tired!

BELLA (normally): He could sleep through an earthquake, that

one. But stop all that hissing – you’ll wake up Clorinda. (as

Clorinda starts to cry) See?

BELLA: It’s okay sweetie, Mommy’s here.

CLORINDA: coo

BELLA: Who’s my little girl, hmmm? Who’s Mommy’s little girl?

BRYAN: Clorinda’s a girl? Like you?

BELLA: Of course. What did you think?

BRYAN: I thought Clorinda was the same as Clarence.

BELLA: No, dear, there are some subtle differences.

BRYAN: What does “subtle” mean?

BELLA: Hard to detect. (as Bryan opens his mouth) Hard to tell it’s

there.

BRYAN: Oh. Like the subtle green cloud around you and Clorinda?

BELLA: No, that’s not a bit subtle. And since you said something

first, you can change Clorinda when I’m done feeding her.

BRYAN: No! I didn’t say it smelled bad! I – ! (defeated) I know the

rule. Pass her over.

BRYAN (V.O.): Do you think we should let Clarence garden at

night?

BELLA (V.O.): Sure. Why not? He enjoys it.

BRYAN (V.O.): I don’t know. I was just thinking that it might

constitute a violation of the applicable local child labor laws.

BELLA (V.O.): What do those words mean?

BRYAN (V.O.) (cheerfully): Dunno. But they sound impressive,

don’t they?

BELLA (V.O.): Oh, as long as he’s having fun, leave him to it.

(yawns) What’s that he’s got in his basket?

BRYAN (V.O.): Dunno. They’re kind of pinkish. (pause) I tried

one. We can eat them.

BELLA (V.O.): Do they taste good?

BRYAN (V.O.): They taste pinkish.

BRYAN: What do you have there?

BELLA: Green things. Here, see if we can eat them.

BRYAN: Okay. (bites into the cucumber with a slightly mushy

crunch) Meh, they’re kind of bland. (hopefully) Do you think

they’ll give me a mystical experience?

BELLA: I doubt it.

CLARENCE: Mommy! Mommy! What’s wrong with the fish?!

BELLA (with well-controlled tension): It’s on fire.

CLARENCE: Is that a good thing? I don’t think it’s a good thing.

BELLA: No, it’s not.

BELLA: But don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. (throws a bucket of

water on the fire, causing lots of steam) There you go. Now go eat

your fish.

Note from esmeiolanthe: I don’t know if using the “Extinguish”

command on a fire is legal. I couldn’t find anything in the rules, but

maybe the problem is my reading ability. If I shouldn’t have done

it, please let me know and I will apologize.

Until next time, Happy Simming!