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More Efficient Snow Removal - Mad 070 - 1962
Transcript of More Efficient Snow Removal - Mad 070 - 1962
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8/3/2019 More Efficient Snow Removal - Mad 070 - 1962
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1897 Ma rcon i inven ted the f i rs t wi re - In 1923 V. K. Zw oryk in inven ted the
rad io w h ich enab led man to t rans- image iconosco pe wh ich enab led man
h is vo ice across space . . . wh i le to t ransmi t p ic tu res across space
L. K ve tch was c lear in g h is wh i le Sidney L . Kv e tch J r . c leare d h is
-covered wa lk wi th a shov e l snow -cove red wa lk wi th a shov e l .
In 1961 Wernher Von Braun deve l
o p e d a m is s i l e p ro g ra m wh i c h e n
ab le d man to t ransmi t h imse l f ac ross
spacewhi le Sidney L . Kve tch I I I c leare d
h is snow-covered wa lk wi th a shove l .
T H I S I S K N O W N A S P R O G R E S S
o wa days , the on ly peo p le w ho en joy snow fa l ls a r e ch i ld ren , poe t s an d nu t s . T h e
rest o f us f ind i t a dr ag . N o r t h er n com m un i t i es suf fer m ost b eca use sno w s nar ls t raf fic ,
wrecks business , an d fil ls the s t ree ts w i th d i r t y wet s lop . A nd h ow d o we rem ov e snow
in th is m od er n space age? W hy , wi th tha t inge n iou s dev ice , o f cou r sethe m a n wi th the
shove l Ac tua l ly , th i s m e th od succeeds in r em ov i ng mor e peo p le tha n snow, w he n you
cons ide r the n um b er o f he a r t a t t acks su ff e red by shove le r s . H ow eve r , the re a r e g rea t
hu m an i t a r i a ns ha r d a t work so lv ing th i s p ro b le m . . . r ecogn iz ing tha t the re ' s p l en ty o f
dou gh to be m ad e if they can com e up wi th an inve n t io n w h ich w ou ld be the an sw er to
MORE EFFICIENT
SNOW REMOV L
ARTIST: BOB CLARKE
WRITER: AL J AFFEE
H E A V Y SN O W F A L L S P A R A L Y ZE M O D E R N L I F E
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PICA L LITTLE T O W N PAR ALY ZED BY SN OW : Al though i ts blanket of snow, it is actual ly in terrible shape . . .
town looks picturesque and peaceful under mainly because this typical l i tt le town is New York City
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H O W H E A VY S N O W S PAR ALYZE
PARALYZED TRAFFIC
PARALYZED CONSUMER TRADE
City t raf f ic locked
in by
snow cannot budge.
Of
course Natural ly re tai l businessmen suffer acute ly durin g snow
it cannot budge
in
summer either
butat
least there
are
except
for afew
opportunists
who do we l l .
Paralysis sets
pretty girls
in
c l inging dresses
to
watch w hi le wa i t ing.
in
when consumer hears prices
of
needed shovel sal t
etc.
SUGGESTED SOLUTIONS TO
M O D E R N S C I E N C E H SC O M E
MECH NIC L SNOW MELTING PROCESS
This suggested solution involves
a
special m achine which
is mounted
ona
t ruck
and
shoots
a jet
stream
ofhotair
at
the
snow.
Of
course this
jet
s tream must
be
qui te
hot
otherwise winter temperatures would render
it
ineffect ive.
Unfortunately there
are
several drawbacks
to
this idea.
First
of all if the jet
stream
of air is hot
enough
it
melts more than just
the
snow. Secondly
the
mel ted snow
soon freezes over again locking everything
in
sol id
ice.
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INTHE
C I T Y
PARALYZED COMMUTERS PARALYZED PEDESTRIANS
i
in
stal led trains
arein
real t rouble. Hunger Frigid weather accompa nying snow forces many pedestr ians
tardiness
are
annoying.
But
real t rouble comes
to
seek shelter
and
warm ing d rink. Paralysis sets
in
when
in
when heat ing systems
fa i l . too
many warming drinks turn pedestrians sti ff
as
boards.
NOW REMOVAL PROBLEM
CHEMIC L SNOW MELTING PROCESS
This ingenious solution requires theuseof hel icopters special ly-developed chemical that mel ts snowand
which sprink le
the
c i ty wi th thousands
of
gal lons
of
some permi t
it to
f reeze again. This solves
the
snow
does
not
prob lem.
Unfortunately it does not solve thewater prob lem since that much mel ted snowat onet ime . O bviously thepresent
there
isno
sewer system
yet
devised capable
of
hand ling solutions
to the
problem
of
snow removal
are
inadequate.
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MAD S ULTIMATE SOLUTION TO
THE PROBLEM OF SIMOW REMOVAL
T H I S B R I L L I A N T ID E A IS O F F E R E D BY T H E E D I T O R S - F R E E - A S A P U B L IC S ER V IC E
Whe n Weather Bureau predicts imminent snowstorm police civil defense corps
etc.
see to it
that
ll
city streets
nd
sidewalks
re
immediately evacuated.
Thousands
of
dump trucks previously chartered for just such an emergency are
then driven in and parked onevery square inch of city streets and sidewalks.
When blizzard strikes ndsnow begins falling it merely fills up the trucks.
Then after the storm passes
ll
they
do is
drive away
nd
dump their loads.