Moral Injury, Soul Repair, and Congregations - A Brick Home · Moral Injury, Soul Repair, and...
Transcript of Moral Injury, Soul Repair, and Congregations - A Brick Home · Moral Injury, Soul Repair, and...
MoralInjury,SoulRepair,andCongregations
Rev.RitaNakashimaBrock,Ph.D.,ResearchProfessorofTheologyandCultureandFoundingCo-Director,TheSoulRepairCenteratBriteDivinitySchool
MoralInjury’isatermusedtodescribeasyndromeofshame,self-handicapping,anger,anddemoralizationthatoccurswhendeeplyheldbeliefsandexpectationsaboutmoralandethicalconductaretransgressed.Itisdistinctfromalifethreatasitisalsonotinherentlyfear-based;rather,duringwar,moralinjurycanarisefromkilling,perpetrationofviolence,betrayalsoftrustinleaders,witnessingdepravedbehavior,orfailingtopreventseriousunethicalacts.
--Litz,B.T.,etal.AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury(NY:GuilfordPress,2016,p.21)
Whendoeswarend(numbersrefertoreferences)?• Whenthetroopscomehome,warremainswiththem,andthestruggletoreturntocivilianlifecan
feelworsethancombat.(1,8,14)• Thegreaterthesenseofpersonalresponsibilityforanactofwar,thehigherthesuiciderisk.• Veteranswhohavekilledhavea2-3timesgreaterrateofsuicidethanothervets,independentof
otherfactorssuchasPTSD,depression,andaddiction.(12)• Ratesinyoungervetshavebeenrisingsince2005.NCOratesarehigherthanofficers.Womenhave
higherratesthanmen,withanestimatedfourtosixtimeshigherrateofmilitarysexualassaultandhigherpost-traumaticstressrates.Overallveteransuicideratesaresquishy,withonly20statesreporting(withoutTexasorCalifornia),butareminimally22adayorthreetimescivilianrates.(1)
• Around52,000veteransofOEFandOIFhavephysicalinjuries.Around500,000(tentimesasmany)or25%havesoughVAhelpforinvisiblewoundslikeposttraumaticstressandover50%admitstrugglingwiththereturnhome.(8)
• Familieshavetodealwiththestressesofdeploymentsandthestressesofhavingadifferentpersoncomehome.Wecannotexpectthemtohandleallthedifficultiesofcominghome.(8)
HowMoralFormationHappensfromAges2to27(CortexOrganizationandDevelopment)
• Mimicryofcaregiversformsneuralpathwaysviaattentionandrepetitionsomoralbehaviorisnotconscious(“Dumbfounding”—peopleordinarilybehavemorallyviabodymemory,withoutconsciousintent).Neuroplasticitycontinuesthroughoutlifeaswelearnnewskillsviaattentionandrepetition.
• Ritualteachesandorganizesmoralvalues(ritual=directed,prescribed,repeatedbehaviorsthatbecomehabitualwithinaculturalmeaningsystem)ascapacitytothinkandorganizememorygrows.
• Ritualdeliversmeaning(valuesystem)withfeeling(relationshipstructures)tolinguisticpatterns(words)andnarratives(storiesand/orreligiousmyths),sodoingrituallinkstomeaningandfeeling.
• Feelingsarecontagiousatunconsciouslevelsbecauseofourconstantattunementtoothers.• Moralreasoningisgroundedinmeaningframesandbecomesnecessarywhenconflictsemerge.• Ritualreconditioning,ifintenseandprolonged,canlayernewmoralsystemsontopofearlierones,
especiallyinformativestagesoflateadolescenceandearlyadulthood.• Previousmoralsystemsarenotfullyerased,butfunctionlikeapalimpsest(fromGrk:pálinagain+
psēstósscraped,rubbed;avellumorparchmentmanuscriptpagefromascrollorbook,fromwhichthetexthasbeeneitherscrapedorwashedoffsothatthepagecanbereused.ErasedmaterialbleedsthroughorcanbedetectedviaUVlight.)Oldcontentcanberetainedandchallengenewsystems,orremainasatelltaletracethathauntsthenewsystem.
• Transitioningfromonemoralsystemtoanothercancausestruggleorevenimpassewhenintegratingconflictingsystems(ex.Killingiscriminalvs.killingenemiesisgood).
WhatisSoulorSpirit?
• ExistentialSelf-Awareness(self-otherdistinction)• DeepConnectiontoHumanityinOthersandtoPowerandBeautyofCreation• CapacityforTrust,Love,Gratitude,Play,InnerPeaceandCalm—the“stillpointinastorm”• EmpathyandConscienceviaPresenceandFocusedAwareness
ü Vicariousemotions:bodilyandemotionalawarenessofinternalstateofothersbutawarenessthatthisisnotpersonal(notemotionalcontagionbutemotionalengagementwithothers)
ü Awarenessofdifferencebetweenselfandotherthatevokesdesiretohelpthoseindistress,withoutconfusingselfandother—akindofemotionalmirroring(doesnotrequiresympathy,i.e.havinghadasimilarexperience)
ü Mentalflexibility,perspective,andself-regulation(i.e.painregulationandeffortfulself-control)=integrationoffeelingandthinking
TheBrain-BodySelf
Brainhasthreelayersthatinteractwiththebody.
1. Lowerbrainstemthatcontrolsfunctionslikebreathing,heartrate,digestion,etc.
2. MidBrainorlimbicsystem(enlargedinMRIPTSDimage)controlsperception,emotions,andmemoryprocesses.Regulateshowwerelatetotheworldaroundusviaperceptionandemotionsthatdetermineresponses,oftenbeforeconsciousthought.Extremeemotionscanbedifficulttooverridebythinking.Esp.theAmygdala=thefearcenter.
3. Top(topofMRIimages),calledprefrontalcortexorexecutivebrain,managesmoralreasoning,behavior,pattern,andtimemanagement,andprocessesmeaning,empathy,andnarrativememory.
MilitaryTrainingChangesEarlierCivilianMoralSystemfor“BattleReadiness”
• BasicTrainingSocializestoaNewMoralSystemviaRitualwithinaTotalSystemü Intense,prolonged,severereconditioningofwholepersontorestrictattachmenttopersonal
identity.ü Focusedgroupethosandbonding.ü Strong,ritualized,controlledaspectsofallactivities(includingsleep,foodconsumption,
elimination,walking,etc.),withmessagingandnew,insiderlanguage.ü Emphasizesnewmoralcodes:candor,commitment,courage,confidence,competence,
camaraderie,rulesofengagement.ü Teachesreflexivefiretraininginshootingtospeedresponsesandassureskill.ü Collectiveconsequencesforindividualfailure.
• MilitaryTrainingisthoroughandpreparespeopleforvariousrolesinwar.ü Warprovesvalueoftraining.Theymustacceptresponsibilityforexercisinglethalpower
underordersandonbehalfofthenation,whichsendsthemandpaysforit.ü Failureofdutyandincompetencecanhavelifeanddeathconsequences.
PostTraumaticStressIsARealInjury
War:HighStressConditionsofViolencewithSituationsofMoralAmbiguityandTraumaticInjury
• PTSDdefinedasatrauma-relateddisorder,withfear-relatedsymptoms.(21)
• Extremeterror(includingangerandaggression)canoverstimulatefearcenters,whichgrowtohandleoverloadoffearandbecomeoveractive.Thinkingcortexlosestissueandweakens.
• PTSDdiagnosisisstress-traumaproblemwithdominationbyfearresponses:hyper-vigilance,startlereflex,panicattacks,shallowbreaths,agoraphobia,etc..
• Fearshutsdownmemoryprocessing(hippocampus)sostoredexperiencesarescattered,disorganized.Memoryparasitescaneruptasflashbacksornightmares,dissociativedisorders.
MoralDisruptionsofWar
• ReflexiveFireTraining• DehumanizationofEnemy• EncounteringandHandlinghuman
remains• Killing,espkillingoutsiderulesof
engagement• Noncombatants• Friendlyfire• Rage,elation,orvengeance
killing• FailuretoSaveOthers• FailureofLeadership• Doubtaboutgoalsormission• LossofFaithandMeaning• BetrayalbyAuthorities• SexualAssault
DiagrambyBillNashinWoods,D.(20)
EmotionsInvolvedinMoralInjury
• Anger,Outrage—J.Shay(16)referstoberserkrageatbetrayalbyauthoritiesinVietnamgeneration.
• Embarrassment• Guilt—outwardmovingtorepairrelationship,survivorguilt,guiltatnotdeploying• Failure—unabletosavefriendorcompletemission• Shame—comprehensiveself-condemnation,isolating,self-loathing• Alienation—hidinginnerself,feelingunworthyofloveorfearingthatotherswilljudge,feeling
dividedwithinoneself• Humiliation—whenshameismadepublic• Remorse—regretandurgetomakeamends• Grief—inabiitytoprocessmassivelosses,canpresentasanger• Despair—nowaytobecomedecentselfagain,depression
Relation)of)PTSD)to)Moral)Injury)
MoralInjuryExposures:WhatTheyCan’tForget
“We are still living in the wreckage created by the Cabinet on which Mr. McNamara served. … The ghosts of those unlived lives circle close around Mr. McNamara. Surely he must in every quiet and prosperous moment hear the ceaseless whispers of those poor boys in the infantry, dying in the tall grass, platoon by platoon, for no purpose. What he took from them cannot be repaid by prime-time apology and stale tears, three decades late. …That black wall is wide with the names of people who died in a war that he did not, at first, carefully research or, in the end, believe to be necessary.”
--New York Times, April 12, 1995 Betrayal by authorities
TrumanSmith,LTC,U.S.Army8thAirForce,TheWrongStuff,WWIIB-17co-pilotwhoflew35missionsoverGermanyandFrance.
“[G]oodguysdon’twinwars,victorygoestothebadguys.TheJaps,astheywerecalled,…andtheNazis…werefinallydefeated….becausewewerebetteratbeingbadthantheywere.We’retheonlysonsofbitchesintheworldwhohavedroppedatomicbombsonciviliansandasbadasthatwas,wecreatedmoredestructionandkilledevenmorewomen,children,andelderlywiththeconventionalbombingofDresden,Hamburg,Berlin,andcountlessothertargets–‘whenindoubt,aimforthechurchinthemiddleoftownwheremostofthemlive!’
MichaelYandell,M.Div.BriteDiv.Sch.,Ph.D.StudentinTheology,EmoryUniv.EODinIraq,StoryinNewYorkTimes,Oct.14,2014,C.Chivers,“TheSecretCasualtiesofIraq’sAbandonedChemicalWeapons.”MoralInjuryTestimony:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex_2pS6Ekkk
LossesinComingHome• Lossofclosestfriends;isolationfromunit• Lossofinnocenceorsenseofgoodness• Lossofunitdisciplineandsystemthatsustainedphysicalhealth• Lossofweapon• Lossofrole/purposeforothers• Lossoffamilyorcapacityforintimacy–conflict/divorce• Lossoffaithandmeaningcommunity• Lossofself—willneverbethesame,foreverchanged
AspectsofMoralInjury
• Canemergelongaftereventsorexperiences,liketheresidueofapalimpsest.• Isanaspectofeverywarandmilitaryservice• CreatesIsolation• Canresultfromothertraumassuchasnaturaldisasters,sexualassault,etc.• Canaffectmanyprofessions(medical,lawenforcement,socialwork,ministry)• Canemergeas“secondary”traumaincaregivers
SoulRepair
Individual/SocialDimensionsofLong-termRecovery• Writingpersonalnarratives;externalizinginnerstruggleandtellingstorytoothersmanytimes.As
theyareretold,theolderlayersoftheselfcanemergeintheretellings,likeaUVlightthrownonthememories.
• Talkingtobenevolentmoralauthoritytoprocessmoralandtheologicalstruggles• Integratingmemory/storyintolargerpicture—gainperspectiveontrauma,ratherthanbecontrolled
bytrauma;asmemoryisprocessedovertime,itwillchangeasnewexperiencesaccumulate• Reconnectionwithestrangedothers,espfamily• Veteransupportsystems;findingcommunitybeyondotherveterans• RehumanizationofEnemies,lessenneedtohateorfear• CompanionsforSupport• Long-termaccountabilitycommunitytosustainprocess
Rituals
• Lamentationtoprocessgriefforvariouskindsoflosses.• Liminalspace(sequesteroutsideordinarytimeandspace—“eternalnow”)totransitionfrom
militarylifeandidentitytociviliancommunitythatunderstandsandcares(ex.NavajoEnemyway,orancientChristianpenancesystem).Thisprocessplacesanindividualstorywithinthecontextofalargeronetorestoremeaningandbelonging.
• Regularuseofarts,suchasmusic,dance,theater,writinggroups,visualart,tointegrateallthreebrainareasandprocessexperience.
• Findwaystorehumanizeenemies,restoreconnectionstolife,anddeepenvulnerabilityinrelationships.
• Formalcommissioningforserviceworkbeingpartofateam,othersymbolsofbelongingtoalargermissionandmeaningsystem.Individuallifematterstoothers.
Community/CongregationWork:
• Manypeoplecanhavemoralinjury,espthosewhoworkunderemergencylifeordeathconditions(medicalcaregivers,EMTs,lawenforcementofficers,prisonguards,gangmembers,peopleinnaturaldisasters,etc.)
• Preachonmoralinjuryandeducateyourentirecommunityaboutit• Encourageallinthecommunitytoreflectontheirrelationshiptowar,moralinjury,andmilitary
service,includingwhattheycanlearnfromveterans.• Prepareawelcomingcontextby
ü Offeringministriesofpresencethroughopenheartedacceptanceü Practicingdeeplistening(seedetailsbelow)ü Attendingtowaystocreatesafegatheringspacesforthosestrugglingwithpost-traumatic
stresssymptomsandmoralinjuryü Notexpectingallveteranswhoparticipateinprogramstoattendworshiporjointhechurch
• Thinkcreativelyabouthowpeoplecanbeinyourcommunity,iftheyarenotinterestedinorareunabletobeinregularworshipservices
ü Singinggroupswithritualsü Ministrythroughanimals(equinetherapy,servicedogs,andpets)ü SportsorFestivalsthathelprestoreplayfulness,relaxationü Prayer/meditationgroupsü Ritualsspecificallyforveteransandfriendsü HostingaMoralInjuryRecoveryGroup(seeCenterwebsiteforbookletunder“Resources”)
• Organizegroupsthatfacilitatetellingpersonalstories(storiesneedtobetoldmultipletimesforapersontogetcontroloftheirstory)
ü Discussiongroupstostudymemoirs,warnovels,poetry,oressays(sixweekstudyguideforthebookSoulRepairattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)
ü MoralinjuryRecoveryGroupü Writinggroupsusingwritingpromptstocreatepoetryorpersonalstoriesü Artcreationgroups,visual,kinesthetic,musical,literary,etc.
• Developritualpracticegroupstolearnandsustainembodiedcalmingprocesses,reflection,spiritualdisciplines
ü Meditationü ContemplativePrayerü Yogaü LabyrinthWalking
• GotoStandDownssponsoredbyVAinyourcommunity• OfferopportunitiesforServicetoOthersandWaystoInteractwhilerestoringbalanceofgoodinthe
world(TikkunOlam,repairingtheworld)• Workwithcampusministersandemployerstoeducatetheirentirecommunitiesaboutmoralinjury
andhowtosupportrecovery—don’ttreatveteransasaspecialneedspopulation,butaspeoplewhocontributetothecommunity.
• Encouragetheologicalschoolstoteachcoursesonmoralinjury(asamplesyllabusisattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)
Self-careforCaregivers:
• FactorsinBurnoutü Stressfuljob(HighStakes,LackofControl)ü Constantneedfordocumentationü Hostileorincompetentauthorityenvironmentü ReducedSenseofPersonalAccomplishmentü Inadequatedowntimeorrestü Lonelyorisolatedbyrankand/orjobü FamilyPressures
• StrategiesforSelf-Careü Learnaspiritualpracticeü Taketimetoreflectandprocessü Keepajournalorspendafew
minutesadaytalkingtoyourselfinsecondperson(“YouneedtorethinkwhatyousaidtoXtoday,”“Youhandledthattoughonewelltoday.”)
ü Getenoughsleep,atleast8hrsaday.Learngoodsleephygienehabits.
Rememberthatmoralinjuryisnotadisorder,butanormalhumanresponsetoextremityandthedisruptiveimpactonthehumansoulofviolenceandmoralfailure.Respectforveteransmeanswemustbewillingtolistenandlearnfromthem,toacceptourresponsibilityforwhattheywereaskedtodoonourbehalf(whetherornotweagreedwithit)andtobefriendthem,ratherthanthinkingthatwearetakingcareoforsavingthem.Ittakesalongjourneyforallofustorecover,butrecoveryispossible.
Recovery((
Resources
Visittheresourcespageatwww.brite.edu/soulrepairYouwillfindanannotatedbibliographyofbooks,bothfictionandnonfiction,aswellasnewsarticles,essays,blogs,films,andvideos.Thereareresourcesforcongregations,forscholars,andforthegeneralpublic.
Ifyoufindausefulresourcethatisnotlisted,[email protected].
Referencesforthispowerpoint:
1. “2012SuicideDataReport:VHAResponseandExecutiveSummary,”http://www.va.gov/opa/docs/response-and-execsum-suicide-data-report-2012-final.pdf.
2. Alcorta,C.S.andSosis,R.2005.“Ritual,Emotion,andSacredSymbols:TheEvolutionofReligionasanAdaptiveComplex.”HumanNature,vol.16,no.4:323–359.
3. Brock,R.andLettini,G.2012.SoulRepair:RecoveringfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,BrockandLettini.Boston:Beacon.
4. Dewey,L.2004.WarandRedemptionTreatmentandRecoveryinCombat-RelatedTraumaticStressDisorder.BurlingtonVT:AshgatePubLtd.
5. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2013,“MoralityandMoralInjury:InsightsfromTheologyandHealthScience,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry,vol.33http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/article/viewFile/262/261.
6. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2011.“AnExplorationoftheViabilityandUsefulnessoftheConstructofMoralInjuryinWarVeterans,”Traumatology.vol.17no.1,8-13.
7. Goodell,J.andHearn,J.E.2011.ShadeItBlack:DeathandafterinIraq.Philadelphia:CasematePublishers.
8. Hosek,J.ed.,2011,“HowisDeploymenttoIraqandAfghanistanaffectingU.S.serviceMembersandTheirFamilies?”RANDNationalDefenseResearchInstitute,http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/occasional_papers/2011/RAND_OP316.pdf.
9. Junger,S.Director.2014.“Korengal,”GoldCrestFilms.Levine,M.ed.http://korengalthemovie.com/.
10. Knowles,C.2013.“NotestowardaNeuropsychologyofMoralInjury,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry.vol.33
11. Litz,B.T.,etal.AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury(NY:GuilfordPress,2016)
12. Maguen,S.,et.al.2011.“KillinginCombat,MentalHealthSymptoms,andSuicidalIdeationinIraqWarVeterans,”JournalofAnxietyDisorders25,no.4:563-567.
13. Nez.C.andAvila,J.S.2011.CodeTalker:TheFirstandOnlyMemoirByOneoftheOriginalNavajoCodeTalkersofWWII.NewYork:PenguinGroup.
14. PewResearchSocialandDemographicTrends,“WarandSacrificeinthePost-9/11Era:TheMilitary-CivilianGap,”Oct.5,2011,http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/10/05/war-and-sacrifice-in-the-post-911-era/
15. Schwartz,J.andBegley,S.2003.TheMindandtheBrain:NeuroplasticityandthePowerofMentalForce.NewYork,NY:HarperPerennial.
16. Shay,J.1994.AchillesinVietnam:CombatTraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:Scribner.
17. Synder,J.2014“’Blood,Guts,andGoreGalore’:Bodies,MoralPollution,andCombatTrauma”SymbolicInteraction.September2014.DOI:10.1002/SYMB.116.
18. VanDerKolk,B.2014.TheBodyKeepstheScore:Brain,Mind,andBodyintheHealingofTrauma.NewYork,NY:PenguinGroupLLC.
19. Verkamp,G.2005.MoralTreatmentofReturningWarriorsinEarlyMedievalandModernTimes.Scranton:UofScrantonPress.
20. Woods,D.,“MoralInjury,”HuffingtonPost,March18-20,2014,http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/moral-injury.
21. SeeVAwebsiteformanyresourcesonPTSD,http://www.ptsd.va.gov/
WaysofDeepListening1.Smallgroups:http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=15570
InTheSacredArtofListening,KayLindahlwrites:
There'ssomethingbeyondtechniquewhentwoormorepeoplearedeeplylisteningtoeachother.Itisanawarenessthatnotonlyarewepresenttoeachother,wearepresenttosomethingthatisspiritual,holy,sacred.
Such"deeplistening"goesagainsttheculturalgrain.LindahlcitesresearchstudiesbytheInternationalListeningAssociation:wespendabout45percentofourtimelistening,butwearedistracted,preoccupied,orforgetfulabout75percentofthattime.Theaverageattentionspanforadultsisabout22seconds.Immediatelyafterlisteningtosomeonetalk,weusuallyrecallonlyabouthalfofwhatwe'veheard;withinafewhours,onlyabout20percent.
Herearesomeapproachesfordeeplistening.
l.Startwitharitual.Atthebeginning,lightacandleorsoundagong,forex.,tosignifythatthisisatimeforfocusedattention.Theritualmarksthespaceasspecialandheightensthefeelingofintimacyduringaconversation.
2.Listenforunderstanding,notjudgmentorevaluation.Giveyourfullattentiontothespeaker.Thisiseasiertodowhenyouarenotdistractedbyplanningwhatyouwanttosay,youropinion,orhowyoushouldtorespond.Knowingtherewillbenoquestionsandaskingpeopletositinsilenceaftersomeonespeaksallowswhatissaidtosettleintoourheartsandbereceived.Youarenottheretoanalyze,judge,ortrytofixanother'sexperience,justtobefullyawareofthemandtobepresenttothem.Lindahlwrites:"Youdonothavetoagreewithorbelieveanythingthatissaid.Yourjobistolistenforunderstanding."
3.Listenandspeakfromyourheart.Thismeansyoumustbeopenandvulnerable,willingtodescribeyouryearningsandadmityourfailings.Thelisteningspaceislesssafeplaceifwearenothearingwithopenmindsandlovinghearts--andmoreanxiousiflistenersrespondbyevaluatingandjudging—thesearewaysofkeepingothersoutofourhearts.
4.Respectthepoweranddifficultyofspeakingandaskfirstifyouwanttosharesomeone’sstory(thisagreementofwhetherornotcommentsneedtobeconfidentialshouldbedecidedaheadifthegroupisclosedandprivate).
Thisstyleoflisteningwithoutcommentisnotalwaysappropriate.Obviously,thereareoccasionswhenyouneedtobeengagedindialogueandyourresponsesareexpected.Buttrythisapproachtolisteningatleastsomeofthetime.Betrulypresenttothespeaker.Don'tbedistractedbyyourplans,assumptions,judgments,orneedtorespond.Experiencethedeepcommunionthatispossibleasyoudeeplylistentoanother.
2.ClassroomAttentive,ReceptiveListening:http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/deep-listening
DeepListeningisawayofhearinginwhichwearefullypresentwithwhatishappeninginthemomentwithouttryingtocontrolitorjudgeit.Weletgoofourinnerclamoringandourusualassumptionsandlistenwithrespectforpreciselywhatisbeingsaid.
Forlisteningtobeeffective,werequireacontemplativemind:open,fresh,alert,attentive,calm,andreceptive.Weoftendonothaveaclearconceptoflisteningasanactiveprocess;weoftenseelisteningasapassive,staticactivity.Infact,listeningandacontemplativemindisopenandvibrantyetspacious,anditcanbecultivatedthroughinstructionandpractice.
Asaclassroompractice,deeplisteningrequiresthatstudentswitnesstheirthoughtsandemotionswhilemaintainingfocusedattentiononwhattheyarehearing.Ittrainsthemtopayfullattentionto
thesoundofthewords,whileabandoningsuchhabitsasplanningtheirnextstatementorinterruptingthespeaker.Itisattentiveratherthanreactivelistening.Suchlisteningnotonlyincreasesretentionofmaterialbutencouragesinsightandthemakingofmeaning.
Inconversation,weareoftensofocusedonprojectingouropinionsanddefendingouragendathatwefailtohearthevoicesofothers.Thistendencyiswhydeeplisteningpracticeschallengethewaywenormallyengageinconversation.Deeplisteningpracticesrelyonacommitmenttoself-controlandself-and-other-awareness.
3.Generalresource:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/what_is_deep_listening.html
From"SlowingDowntotheSpeedofLove"
FromJoeBailey,alicensedpsychologist.
Deeplisteningoccurswhenyourmindisquiet.Yourthoughtsareflowingratherthancrowdingyourmindwithdistractions,interpretations,judgments,conclusions,orassumptions.Yourmindisopen,curious,interested--asthoughyouwerehearingthispersonforthefirsttime.
• Deeplisteningislisteningintentlyandopenly,wearen’tanalyzingorfiguringout--wearesimplylettingthefeelingsandsoundsaffectus.
• Deeplisteningisnotdefensive,argumentative,orintrusive.Itisnotaboutstrugglingtoanalyzeorinterpret.Itisapurelyreceptivestateofmind.Inastateofdeeplistening,werealizeouroneness.
• Werealizethatwearenotseparate,buttrulyonespirit--weareconnected.• Whenwelistendeeply,weletgoofanybeliefswehaveabouttheotherperson.Weletgoofour
prejudicesandpastmemoriesofhimorher.
PreparationviaMeditation:
• Trytositstableandstill,likeamountain.Berelaxedandalert.• Listentowhatyouhear.• Donotimagine,name,oranalyzewhatyouhear.Justlistenwithwide-openawareness.• Asthoughts,emotions,memories,associationsariseinyourmind,noticethem,gentlyletthemgo,
andreturntothespeaker.• Radarthatgoesoutlookingforsomethingandasatellitedishwithawiderangejustsitsinthe
backyard,waiting.Beasatellitedish.Stayturnedonandreceive.• Iftherearenosounds,listen,andrestinthesilence.
Deeplisteningappliesnotonlytocommunicationwithanother,butalsotolisteningtoourselvesandtolifeingeneral.Thegoalofdeeplisteningistohearbeyondthewordsoftheotherpersonandyourself,totheessenceofwhatthewordsandfeelingsarepointingto.Yourmindandheartarejoinedinunion--youarelisteningwholeheartedly.
Thegoalofdeeplisteningistobetouchedbytheotherperson,embracehisorherstoryandtruth,andtoheartheessenceofwhatheorsheissaying.Deeplisteningisbasedonempathyandrespect.Informationprovidedheremaybeusedwithcitation.