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Montessori Life

MONTESSORI LIFE SUMMER 2014 1

Summer 2014 Vol. 26 No.2

S T O R I E S D E P A R T M E N T S & S E C T I O N S

28 FEATURE ARTICLE Fostering Early Language with Infants and Toddlers Alice Sterling Honig, PhD

32 The Toddler Years: A Time of Exuberance and Joy Carole Wolfe Korngold, MA, and K. T. Korngold, MA

36 Toddler on the Road Marshall Balick and Megan Jepson

40 “Do You Teach ThemAnything?”: What ReallyHappens in a MontessoriToddler ClassHeather S. Dore, PhD

44 Teaching Toddlers to Teach ThemselvesRose Henson

48 Spiritually Responsive Educationand Care: Nurturing Infants andToddlers in a Changing SocietyDarla Ferris Miller, PhD

54 Creating an Amazing Montessori Toddler Home EnvironmentStephanie Woo

2 From the Editors Kathy Carey, MAT, and Carey Jones

3 From the Executive DirectorEarly Education Excitement!Richard A. Ungerer

5 From the AMS President The Montessori Movement Today Joyce Pickering, MA, SLP/CC, HumD

7 From the Peace Committee A Time for You Patti Yonka

9 From NCMPS The NCMPS and Early Learning Keith Whitescarver, EdD

11 The AMS Connection

63 The Last Laugh

64 Montessori Parent Creating Emotional Safety around Tantrums and Crying K. T. Korngold, MA

On the Cover: Prosocial behavior, positive actions meant to benefit another, reflect a critical aspect of Montessorieducation—one child using her knowledge and skill to assist another with gentle respect.Cover photograph by Jude Keith Rose

34

MONTESSORI LIFE SUMMER 201454

Raising my twins the Montessoriway has made my life easy. Imaginetwo 1-year-olds eating entire meals ontheir own, setting their own tables by20 months, and becoming potty-trainedbefore 2. These are not statistics foundin just one household. Children raisedthe Montessori way can take care ofthemselves and their environment atsurprisingly young ages.

In our home, my husband and Iare interested in one thing: helping our

children become independent. Ourgoal is never to push our children intosomething before they are ready, butwe also never hold them back whenthey show signs of readiness. It is afine balance that requires knowledge,careful observation, and a thoughtfulhome environment.

Independence is the ability to dosomething by yourself without being aburden to others. Independence can-not be given; it is developed internally.

Independence is built over time andpredicated on specific abilities. Eachnew skill makes new levels of inde-pendence possible. Every time a childmasters something, that mastery leadsto new possibilities. This way of par-enting requires much more thoughtthan parenting in which you do every-thing for your child, but its rewardsare also much greater.

When I think of the perfect toddlerhome environment, I think of this

Creating anAmazing

Montessori ToddlerHome Environment

By Stephanie Woo

Our weekly menu has a few consistent items: fried rice on Mondays,butter shrimp on Wednesdays, and scrambled eggs with fresh biscuitson the weekends. My 3-year-old twins prepare these dishes all bythemselves. They also sweep the floor, load dishwashers, or wipedown tables afterward. When I say that, it may seem that I am talkingabout a magical, mythical fairyland that parents can only dreamabout. But this fairyland is real, and it is called Montessori.

MONTESSORI LIFE SUMMER 2014 55

quote from Maria Montessori:

It is not important to be able totaste the cake, but to be able to pre-pare it, to offer it, to organize aparty, that is what a child needs. Alaid table is not important, but tolay the table, to do it all himself.The very young child needs tomove, especially at home. . . . Theadult must teach the child how todo it himself, he must give him themeans. The basis of the new life ofthe child is to understand that thechild needs a more serious life, areal activity, a social life, where hecan act himself. He needs help up tothe point that he can do it himself.(Montessori, 1939)

Few parents would ever dream ofletting their young toddler use a knife,scrub tables, or clean windows. Mostparents have never seen it done, whileothers do not know how to engagetheir toddler in participating in theseactivities. But, if you visit a toddlerMontessori classroom, you will witnesschildren as young as 18 months slicingbananas, dusting shelves, and washingdishes. Children are capable. The onlything they need is the opportunity.

In this article, I will touch on threeareas of the home—the kitchen, the

dressing area, and the playroom—intowhich you can incorporate activities tohelp your child develop independence.There are three key ingredients to cre-ating an amazing Montessori home:the right physical environment withchild-sized furniture and implements,ample opportunities for practicingskills, and adults who encourage thechild’s burgeoning independence.

Independence in the KitchenThe kitchen is the ideal place to

begin to involve your toddler. If youare like me, you probably spend a lotof time there, and your child will wantto be there with you. You can help herbecome an active and helpful part ofyour family’s kitchen life by incorpo-rating child-sized furniture. The twomost important pieces of furniture tohave in the kitchen are a child-sizedtable and chair. This table should be nomore than 14 inches from the tabletopto the floor in order for comfortablesitting. The slatted chairs (pictured,above, middle photo) were designedby Maria Montessori. They are madeof birch wood, lightweight enough foryoung children to carry but alsoextremely sturdy and safe. Your childcan eat meals here and do kitchenwork as well. We bought our table andchairs when my girls were 6 months

old and use them every day—they eattheir snacks, cut vegetables, and makescrambled eggs (using an electric skil-let) at their table.

Keep a pitcher of water as well assome glasses on the table so childrencan get their own drinks of waterwhen they want. Both the pitcher andglasses should be made of real glassand offered to your child from the verybeginning (starting at 6 months old).Not only is it beautiful and pleasura-ble to use, glass provides real conse-quences when not properly handled.Experiencing the sight and sound ofone broken glass is often enough foryoung children to learn that glassesneed to be handled with care. A smallplastic basket kept under the tablecan be pulled out and used duringcleanup. Teach your child to put dirtydishes here. I also recommend sewingloops or wooden rings on cloth nap-kins and hanging them on a hookattached to the table. When your tod-dler needs a napkin, it is right there.

Another important piece of furni-ture in the kitchen is a shelving solu-tion used to store your children’skitchen items. Some parents give theirchildren the lowest shelf in a cupboardor the lower rung of a kitchen shelf.Don’t put their things in a closeddrawer because your child won’t be

The prepared home environment

56

able to see what’s inside. After theypass the phase of wanting to open andclose everything, the closed drawerjust becomes an obstacle to them find-ing everything they need. So if youwant them to participate in thekitchen, make it easy for them bykeeping things out in the open. If youneed to create a custom shelving solu-tion, think about buying a low two-tiered bookshelf. Ideally, shelving willbe adjustable so you can change theheight of the shelves as your child grows.

Another great custom solution isto buy a lightweight rolling cart. Theseplacemats can be bought at onlineMontessori stores (or made them athome by drawing outlines of a plate,bowl, fork and knife on a piece ofpaper, then laminating it). This place-mat makes it so easy for little ones toset their own table. When they are set-ting the table, you will see them pointat the outline of the fork and say,“Fork,” then go to the cart to get a fork,then point at the outline of the plateand say, “Plate,” then get one, and soon. The placemat serves as a great littlecheat sheet! The middle shelf of thecart held everything my girls neededto set the table, including bowls,plates, forks, and spoons. And the bot-tom shelf held extra cloth napkins anda sponge for wiping the table.

As your children become morecapable of helping out in the kitchen,you can add another rolling cart forcommonly used kitchen utensils, suchas eggbeaters, wooden mixing spoons,colanders, juicers, a cutting board, etc.Make sure all the implements arechild-size—small and light enough forthe child to carry from the shelf to hiswork table. For example, an adult-sizeeggbeater is too heavy, so it would bedifficult for a child to make the correctbeating movement with it. Remember,we want the child to experience success,and the only way this will happen is ifthey have the right tools to work with.

If your child appears to be in themiddle of uncontrollable disorder,assess the disorder before you act. Ifshe is learning to pour water, overfill-ing the cup and spilling water on thetable is normal. Let him keep on prac-ticing. But if he breaks something oroverfills the cup for days or weeks,then consider that your pitcher is tooheavy or too light, too big or too small,or somehow too difficult to use. Also,did you demonstrate pouring withtwo hands? When children have theright tools and the right demonstra-tions, they can do extraordinarythings. This takes careful observationon your part to see what is workingand what is not, and adjustingaccordingly.

Toddler-Friendly Tips for Getting Dressed

Does your child play with clothes?Maybe she pulled every sock out ofthe sock drawer or you found herswimming in a pile of shirts and pants.Maybe she keeps playing with shoesor even putting them in her mouth.

Believe it or not, those are all signs thatyour child is interested in clothing.

Allowing a small selection ofclothes from which to choose reallyhelps encourage your child to learn todress himself. A child-size shelf willhelp with this process. We used a shortshelf from IKEA and did not install thedoors that came with it. Again, havingthe clothes out in the open makes itaccessible. We want to encourage chil-dren to dress themselves and evenplay with the clothes, for playing ishow they learn. I’ve watched my ownchildren spend endless hours in frontof this shelf, putting on and taking offvarious items of clothing.

On this shelving unit, we haveseparated the clothing by categories.The top shelf holds socks. The middleshelf holds shirts. The bottom shelfholds pants, underwear, and potty train-ing pants. We installed simple hooks onthe wall for their jackets. We limit thenumber of items we have out, keepingthe rest of their clothes in a bedroomcloset, rotating them as we see fit.

Since my girls started crawling,

MONTESSORI LIFE SPRING 2014

Cracking an egg

57MONTESSORI LIFE SPRING 2014

we have kept their clothes in basketsor on open, accessible shelving. Theycan play with their clothes and shoesas much as they want. In the begin-ning, they were too young to clean up,so I would find myself putting clothesback on the shelf constantly, but Ialways did this when they werearound so they could see how it wasdone. Your careful modeling teachesthem what to do when they have theskills to do it themselves.

Toddlers need choices, but not toomany choices. By providing an opencloset solution like this, they areempowered to dress themselves whenand how they wish. And don’t correctthem. What is the harm of wearingtwo different colored socks or wearingshoes on opposite feet? My childrenregularly put on multiple pairs ofpants, swimsuits, and dresses—noneof them matching—all on top of eachother. I try not to let my vanity get inthe way and let them go out in what-ever they choose to wear. Why?Because the joy of dressing oneselfsuccessfully sows seeds of confidence.

And that matters more than a match-ing outfit—at least most of the time!

Don’t Cram the PlayroomI encourage parents to provide a

variety of toys and activities for theirchildren, but, just as with clothing, notto put everything out at once. A play-room crammed with toys becomesoverwhelming. So, how should youorganize your toys? Again, low shelv-ing is essential, so children don’t needyour help to access what they want.Also, each toy should have its ownspot on the shelf and, if the toy haspieces or parts, those are contained inan attractive basket, small bin, or tray.Children can learn to take out toys andput them back only if they are familiarwith the order of things. If everythingis strewn about or the toys aredumped into one big container, thenthat is all they learn to do. Instead, wewant to cultivate order in the child’smind. That’s why we separate puzzlesfrom the art and music activities. Wealso have plant-care activities, likewatering or dusting leaves, separate

from self-care activities, like combinghair or putting on mittens.

We also want to cultivate appreci-ation for our belongings; that’s whyeverything broken is mended or takenaway. Toys that have lost their appealshould be stored in a closet. Rotatethem back in after a month or two, andoften they will be as interesting aswhen they were new.

It is never too early to cultivate asense of beauty. Your playroom shouldbe beautiful, organized, orderly, andsparse. It’s better to have too few toysthan too many. Consider having plantsand fresh flowers. Here’s a piece ofadvice: the plants should be hardy andable to withstand much watering.

It’s All in the PlanningA Montessori home is not just

about low shelves and accessibleclothing. If our goal is to cultivateindependence and self-confidence, wemust think through how to help thechild. Every act of independence canbe broken down into multiple steps.During your planning phase, thinkabout which activity you want yourchild to master. Do you want to teachher to put on a jacket, set the table, orpour a glass of milk? While you areplanning, consider these steps.

1. Which activity do you wantyour toddler to do? Make this as spe-cific as possible. Is it setting the table,clearing the table, or brushing his ownhair?

2. Which implements will youneed? Make a careful list of everythingyou will need and how to procurethem. Many online stores, likeMontessori Services, Michael Olaf,How We Montessori, and Etsy (search“Montessori” on the latter site), offerchild-size tools and implements.

3. Do a test run on your own withan imaginary child. Write down the listof steps, being as detailed as possible.

The essentials, organized

See if you can do it without talking,just letting your hands do the work.

4. Practice showing the steps toanother person (not your child). Makesure your steps are clear and sequen-tial. Remember that a child will doexactly what you show him. Any extra-neous movements will be incorporatedinto the child’s version. My hair usedto get in my way when I bent down.When my daughter, Brooke, started toput her hair behind her ears everytime she set the table, I knew she hadpicked it up from me when I firstshowed her table-setting!

5. Place the activity on yourchild’s shelf. Then find a good timewhen your child is well-fed and well-rested, and show her how to do theactivity. Be excited about the activityand your demonstration.

6. Continue to watch your child,offering assistance when necessary.

But mostly, just watch. Let him spill,present his own version of what youdid, complete steps out of yourdemonstrated order. Let her struggleto figure out steps and, perhaps, mis-steps. If something doesn’t seem to beworking, assess what you might needto alter in the environment. What isn’tworking? How can you help yourchild be more successful?

Bringing It HomeI feed my children healthy, organic

food. I keep them clean and make surethey’re dressed warmly when needed. Ialso hug them, hold them, and lavishthem with love every day. But none ofthose things, not even my deepest devo-tion and love, can provide the kind ofmental nourishment the young childneeds to thrive. That’s what a Montessorihome environment does. It enriches thewhole child—body, mind, and soul.

During my journey, I’ve learned todistinguish between a good waterpitcher and an excellent water pitcher.I know the best cup to give a 6-month-old, a 12-month-old, a 24-month-old,and a 3-year-old (it’s a different cupfor each of these ages). I know whatsigns to look for before giving a child apair of scissors or a bead-stringing toy.I’ve learned hundreds of details likethis from my Montessori teacher edu-cation and from my own trials anderrors while creating my home envi-ronment.

The Montessori home environ-ment should be a living, breathingthing, just like your child. I think ofmy children and my Montessori homeenvironment as best friends. Whenyou put them together and you’vehoned in on the right combination,they can play together for hours andyour child will do amazing things, like

MONTESSORI LIFE SUMMER 201458

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those I mentioned at the beginning ofthis article. Meanwhile, you will be inawe of your child and wonder whatother parents mean when they talkabout the terrible twos. If you are notexperiencing ease and freedom withyour toddler, then I invite you to con-sider that something in your environ-ment is not right. You’ll need toobserve. You’ll need to use your dis-cernment. But mostly, you’ll needpersistence and humility to figure outwhat is not working and how to fix it.

Soon enough, you’ll find yourselfgasping and your heart skippingbecause your child just did somethingyou never expected such a small personto do. Maybe he just peeled a cucum-ber perfectly or he just set the entirefamily table all by himself. And in thatmoment, you’ll know, this isn’t a myth-ical fairyland. This is Montessori.

ReferenceMontessori, M. (1939). Preparation of the

environment for the young child in thefamily. Communications, 2009/2, 8–15.

STEPHANIE WOO is AMI-trained andthe author of Raising Your Twins: RealLife Tips on Parenting Your Childrenwith Ease. She is also a speaker and fami-ly consultant, specializing in children ages0–3. Stephanie lives in Portland, OR, withher husband and twin 3-year-old girls.Visit her blog at www.MontessoriOntheDouble.com.

Photography by Stephanie Woo

MONTESSORI LIFE SUMMER 2014 59

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