This week, in our monthly emotional health coverage, we're taking a look at the impact of financial issues on relationships. For some, one of the marital vows might more accurately be, "For richer or poorer 'til the conflicts over money lead to the death of the marriage."

Experts estimate that money problems contribute to over half of all divorces, though they also acknowledge that conflicts over financial matters can be a metaphor for the battle for power and control in the relationship. While the amount of income a couple earns does not appear to be a factor in the amount of conflict they encounter, the fact that more women today contribute significantly more to the household income than they used to may be part of the reason for the rise in the amount of conflict in this area. As women contribute more financially, they want more say-so in where the financial resources go.

In addition, how men and women view money, how they spend, what it means to them emotionally tends to be significantly different.

The most common conflict is some variation of the Saver vs. Spender. Sometimes, he views the new motorcycle as an absolute necessity, while she wants to put the discretionary money towards the kids' college fund; or, she needs the Gucci shoes to go with her new purse, and he wants to replace the roof and add to the value of their home.

So, what can you do if you find yourselves fighting over money matters? It should come as no surprise that communicating openly and without blaming or being judgmental is the most basic rule. Suze Orman, popular commentator and author of The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, suggests some interesting exercises that can help couples take a look at their own attitudes. One of these exercises is to look back to your first memories about money--whether pleasant or painful--and compare those early experiences with how you view money now. Sharing these stories with each other can get the non-blaming discussions started, and help the individuals realize there is no one right way to approach money matters, and that our attitudes reflect values often adopted before we were able to think rationally about whether to be spenders or savers.

Agree to make financial decisions together, while still allowing some freedom for personal or minor expenses; try to make discussions about money interesting, an opportunity to know your partner more intimately as you listen to their opinions about this often off-limits topic; blend your incomes except for agreed upon "allowances;" and draw-up financial plans for the future together, listing your priorities, and figuring out some compromise that will enable the two of you to work toward attaining your financial goals.

If discussions do not enable you to arrive at mutual solutions, consulting a neutral financial planner may be helpful. If the area of conflict is more emotional than financial, a marital therapist can help clarify the underlying issues and get you moving toward better problem solving. Using "consultants" is far less costly, both financially and emotionally, than the financial and emotional expense of a divorce.

For additional discussion and advice, be sure and join us each weekday for Live Online, our expert Q&A program here on the Web site. On Wednesday and Friday, our psychologists Drs. Callahan and Bevis, are ready and willing to respond to your queries about this or any other emotional health matter.