Monday, February 14 The Friendship Flyer Friendship Flyer ... that this isn't so as we discuss...

Volume 19 Number 2 Our mission is to promote living with reason and love February 2011

The Friendship Flyer

NONPROFIT ORG

US POSTAGE PAID

COCOA, FL 32922

PERMIT NO. 414

The Friendship

Fellowship

at Pineda

A Unitarian Universalist

Congregation in the liberal

tradition

3115 Friendship Place

Rockledge, FL 32955

Telephone: [321] 242-1117

Return Service

Requested

Consulting Minister

The Rev. Dr. John M. Higgins

Website: www.uuspacecoast.com

Remember your Sweetie

on St. Valentine’s Day

Monday, February 14 j c e

DATE SPEAKER SUBJECT SERVICE

LEADER

GREETER TOUCH OF

BEAUTY

HOSPITALITY

HOST

Feb 6

The Reverend Dr.

John M. Higgins,

Consulting Minister at

Friendship Fellowship

Judaism Nancy

Shacklette

Tom Curry Betty

Allison

Joan Andrews

Feb 13 Dr. Robert P. Tucker,

Minister Emeritus of

the Lakeland UU

Church

Why Signing

the Book is

Never Enough

John

England

Christy

Good

Bobbie

Keith

Ruth Rodgers

Feb 20 John Lees, Member of

Friendship Fellowship,

Litigation Director for

Florida Hemlock

Society

On Happiness Jan Siren Debra

Mischley

Bill Scott Laura Friedman

Kathy Lees:

Birthday Cake

Feb 27 Neal Stannard, Vero

Beach UU, Radio

Personality and Feature

Reporter, and Actor

Diving For The

Truth

(see page 9)

Shirley

Works

David

Peterson

Christy

Good

Mireya Bier

The Friendship Flyer February 2011

BOOK CLUB READS ABOUT SWIMMING and

WORLD’S END . . . Rosemarye Levine

Does it stick in your craw that we have invaded two

countries in the last decade and are still in place,

slogging away, wasting lives and spending billions

of dollars, displacing whole populations, sowing

hatred of Americans in our quest to ―democratize‖

those folks who have not had the benefit of the

American Way? Do you think this is all a new and

a different approach by the U.S. to the rest of the world? Find out

that this isn't so as we discuss ―Overthrow‖ by Stephen

Kinzer, America‘s century of regime change from Hawaii to

Iraq. Mr. Kinzer is an award winning foreign correspondent who

tells us that regime change has always been an integral part of

US foreign policy and we have never hesitated to topple foreign

governments that stood in the way of our political and economic

goals.

Intrigued? Come join the rabid readers of the non fiction book

club on the second Tuesday of February at 2 o‘clock. I promise

you an afternoon of startling informational history and a group of

people who you will find hard to leave at 4 o'clock as the

interaction never ceases.

MINISTERIAL MUSINGS

The Reverend Dr. John M. Higgins

WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?

Over four years ago when the great

hurricanes caused us to start the development

of our new building the UUA, through the

Florida District, granted us over $10,000. Part

of that package strongly recommended the

establishment of a Ministerial Discretionary

Fund. That fund was increased by

contributions from our members. It is meant to provide limited

assistance to persons in need without revealing to whom to funds

would go. It has a separate checking account at TD Bank

(formerly Riverside).

Initially, monies were provided for persons from our

congregation who suffered from the hurricanes. There were roofs

to repair and temporary shelter to be paid for and some additional

needs. The largest amount of money sent to our members in

some distress was $300 . . . not much when one considers the

costs of repairs. It did not cover all losses but it helped.

Over the past several years, requests have come in from persons

other than our members. Usually, the problem has to do with

utility bills, inability to pay for rent, and similar problems.

It is difficult to evaluate the true need of people who ask for

assistance. Obviously, some go through the yellow pages getting

telephone numbers for the various churches.

Some of these requests are somewhat

suspicious. For example, I had appeals from

persons who came to Florida from ―up north‖

who didn‘t have the money to go back home. In

good conscience I could not contribute to this

kind of need when I heard the tearful stories of

persons who had to pay rent and/or utilities and

were about to be evicted or have utilities cut off.

I am also aware that we are a small congregation

and have to make the funds do the best work.

Luckily, I found that a partial donation for rent or

utilities would be of help and that other

congregations also provided partial assistance.

Friendship Primitive Baptist Church approached

me for a partnership. This is a congregation in

Cocoa that is about twice our size and does give

part of funds needed. This congregation has a formal application

policy where those seeking assistance provide evidence of the

need. I visited this church and reviewed their written application

procedure. It is good.

The maximum amount of money they give seems to be $50.00,

never enough for the utility bills. However, with some funds

from us and several other churches, applicants eventually raise

the amounted needed in the emergency. The last check I issued

was for $75 and it was matched by several other churches to

meet a need of over $300.

Checks are never made out to the petitioner, but always to a

landlord or utility company. I think that this way to ensure that

we are not ―being taken.‖

I have mixed feelings about how to manage these

funds as I can hear and feel how the applicants are

going through a humiliating procedure to survive.

A good number of them are employed for less than

40 hours (so employers don‘t have to provide

benefits). Persons earning $8.00 an hour for 30

hours don‘t really have enough for decent housing

and payment of transportation, utilities and food.

When I write a check for $50 or $75 I think that

that is about what some of us may pay for a dinner

for two while others in our society are desperate

and threatened with eviction and/or loss of

utilities. I seriously doubt that anyone receiving a

rent or utility check has not used it properly and,

when I hear from our friends at the Primitive

Baptist Church, that women are crying and

sobbing, I know we did something—not all that is

needed—but a temporary help while people are trying to get on

their feet. It is your money that is doing this.

While these matching funds may go to persons from other

congregations, the amount for our own suffering members is

usually more— up to $300. However, now I am hearing from far

more persons than are our members.

I like to have at least $1,000 in reserve but it is now down below

that amount and needs replenishing. If you wish to add to that

amount, please make your check out to Ministerial Discretional

Fund, Friendship Fellowship. I am sure that if you put in the

basket marked in this manner, it will be deposited shortly. You

may also put it in my box in the Administrator‘s office.

Fraternally,

Jack

Feb 1 Bob Johnson Feb 6 Phil Sheridan Feb 11 Morgan Ohland Feb 15 Ruthe Ragsdale Feb 18 Ruth Rodgers Feb 20 Olive (Jo) Davies Feb 21 Bobbie Keith Feb 27 Lorraine Hennig Feb 29 Griffin Haden-Baker

continued at the bottom of the next column


February 2011

Comings, goings, and doings for FF@P Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10 11 12

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

27 28

Winter

Film

Discussion Series:

Nicholas and

Alexandra (last

Czar of Russia and

his foreign wife)

Friendship Hall,

1:00 PM, moderated

by Helen Bennett

Winter Film Discussion Series: Frida (Frida Kahlo and husband Diego Rivera: Mexico‘s bohemian artists) Friendship Hall, 1:00 PM, moderated by Helen Bennett

Philosophy

Seminar:

Friendship Hall,

2:00 PM, moderated

by John Lees

Friday 4 Feb:

Economics

Seminar Friendship

Hall, 2:00 PM,

moderated by John

Hemphill

Economics

Seminar:

Friendship Hall,

2:00 PM, moderated

by John Hemphill

Humanists

of Brevard in the Coffee

House . . .

at 10:00 AM

Sunday Morning

Discussion: 9:15-

10:15 AM Coffee

House—Current

Events

Sun Svc

10:30 AM

Editor

The Editor needs your March inputs

by Sunday noon 20 February

Women’s

Friendship Circle:

Coffee House,

10:30 AM

Sun Svc

10:30 AM

Sunday Morning

Discussion: 9:15-

10:15 AM Coffee

House—Current

Events

Just Us Girls

Art Group: Every Tuesday

9:30 AM–

2:00 PM Coffee

House

-Pat Hemphill-

Sun Svc

10:30 AM

Sunday Morning

Discussion: 9:15-

10:15 AM Coffee

House—Current

Events

Bibbi Van Orsdale

Memorial Service

12:30 PM

Sunday Morning

Discussion: 9:15-

10:15 AM Coffee

House—Current

Events

Sun Svc

10:30 AM

Single

Men’s

Lunch: 1:00 PM at

Bob Evans on

Wickham in Suntree

(it is suggested you

make plans with

others to avoid lack

of company)

Non-Fiction

Book Club: Coffee House at

2:00 PM

Game Night: Friendship Hall

7:00-9:00 PM

The Reverend

Higgins

Every Friday

10:00 AM, will

discuss any

subject, Friendship

Hall

Philosophy

Seminar:

Friendship Hall,

2:00 PM, moderated

by John Lees

CLC Meeting:

Friendship Hall,

Monday,7:00 PM

CLC: Long Range

Planning in

Friendship Hall

Adult RE: after

Service

Caring Committee:

10-noon Coffee Hse


UPDATE TELEPHONE DIRECTORIES

Please update your April 2010 Friendship Fellowship

Telephone Directories—Email addresses have changed:

Root, Elspeth

[email protected]

Hubbard, Chuck

[email protected]

Thanks! . . . editor

DOBRER GIVES “THE ESSENTIAL GIFT OF

CHRISTMAS” 26 Dec

For the last sermon in 2010, we listened to a recorded message

from the Reverend Jon Dobrer, a UU minister in Fullerton,

California, who talked about the Christmas message to be found

in the Nativity stories in the Gospels of Luke and Matthew. The

story of Jesus‘ birth, said Dobrer, is one that we should take

seriously by examining its meaning and the truths that go deeper

than literal facts.

Much of what we think we know about the Christmas story—the

cold winter weather, snow falling on Bethlehem, the three wise

men and the shepherds together at the stable—is not described in

the Bible. In fact, only two Gospels mention Jesus‘ birth, and

only one of those is actually a Nativity story. The account in

Luke of Mary and Joseph going to Bethlehem to pay taxes,

angels appearing to shepherds in nearby fields, and the placement

of Jesus in a manger, is the only story of his birth. The account in

Matthew of the three magi following a star and going to Herod to

inquire about the birth of a Messiah refers to him as a ―child,‖

not a ‗baby‖ or an ―infant,‖ so we can infer that he is by that time

a year or so old.

The two stories are put together from archetypes that relate a

universal truth about a transcendent event. For example, the story

of Herod ordering all boys under the age of two in Bethlehem

and surrounding towns to be killed and the flight of Mary and

Joseph into Egypt is a retelling of the Moses story. The gifts

brought by the three magi are also significant and symbolic. Gold

represents wealth and material comfort; frankincense is a

perfume, also used for medicinal purposes, that represents

spiritual renewal; and myrrh is a lotion or oil used for anointing

or blessing, which speaks to the preciousness of every new life.

The birth of a baby is a universal call to the future incarnate in

every child, so the essential gift of Christmas, said Dobrer, is that

all of us are called to the crèche. It is our responsibility to take

care of all children. The Nativity story calls to us across the

religious spectrum and shines the light of love into the darkness,

for the birth of every child is a miracle, and every birth holds the

hope of tomorrow. . . . rr

START MAKING YOUR PLANS FOR MARCH

Important events happen in March 2011, the last month

of our Fiscal Year:

CANVASS LUNCH is Sunday, March 6, following the Service

CONGREGATIONAL ANNUAL MEETING is Sunday, March 20, following the Service, coffee and refreshments

The March issue of the Friendship Flyer will have

details about the Canvass Lunch and an agenda for the

Annual Meeting

Mary Ann Lindsey died

peacefully on Wednesday,

January 5. Declining health

led her to move two years ago

from Melbourne to assisted living

near to her daughter, attorney

Tamara Wilson, in St. Augustine.

Mary Ann was a tireless teacher,

scholar, artist, writer, and

philosopher. She and John Lees

taught the prestigious philosophy

classes that are a longstanding

tradition at our Fellowship. She also

taught at the Melbourne Shepherd‘s

Center, where she had a faithful

following.

Mary Ann was a fascinating

woman with a unique history. I

was honored to be her friend.

. . . Helen Bennett

MARY ANN LINDSEY

Feisty, scholarly, ―always-I-can,‖

These are the words that describe Mary Ann.

If she had to crawl she would literally crawl;

To never give up she would give her all.

She loved to teach and she thought she knew

Post-modernism through and through;

A philosopher, who would always reveal

She was able to think as well as to feel.

Nobody else had so public a yearning

To administer the delight of learning.

And though she was infirm, her heart did not bend

From the friendships she cherished for us, to the end.

Helen Bennett January 10, 2011

SID SHERMAN’S BIBLE SEMINAR

AT FRIENDSHIP FELLOWSHIP at PINEDA

FEATURING The Bible As Literature, History, &

Mythology

Ending the first Thursday in February, this 18-session course on

Highlights of The Bible has been based on modern scholarship—

with no Bible thumping—exploring who wrote it—when it was

written—for what purpose—explaining duplications and

contradictions—taking note of what it says about the human

condition in gems of poetry, drama, wisdom literature, history,

fiction, myth, and fantasy—with interesting sidelights as reported

by our In-House Bible maven, Sid Sherman.

Thursday Afternoon from 2:00 to 4:00 PM

Meeting in Friendship Hall

THE NEW TESTAMENT

Feb 3 The Epistle to the Hebrews-The Pastoral Epistles-The

Catholic Epistles-The Book of Revelation of John: An

Apocalypse

The Highlights of The Bible is concluded at the February 3

session. Thank you Sid Sherman!

As January ends with another cold

spell, we batten down the hatches,

bury plants in blankets or bring them

indoors, and convince our big golden

tabby, ―Tiger,‖ to stay indoors at

night. He‘ll have none of it.

The cold night shelter opens up again

for the weekend, to feed and bed our

homeless with a marvelous meal each night,

and an early morning breakfast to fill them up

for the cold day ahead. At least they can go to

Daily Bread for lunch as well-the only time

these folks can get ―three square meals‖ in a

day. The shelter is located at His Place

Ministries, the historical church on Route 1

and Strawbridge in downtown Melbourne.

We have new music arrangements for our services now. Yours

Truly is being replaced by two women who have been playing

for years (I realize how many years went by in my life without a

piano). The only problem is scheduling them for alternate

Sundays, and juggling fifth Sundays between them. Neither can

play the last Sunday in January, so you‘ll have to put up with me.

One is Carolyn Wilson from UUCB (our West Melbourne

affiliate UU church), who takes charge of the choir, working with

us on a weekday for an hour or so, to give the members more

secure presentations on Sundays. The other is Overda Stonerock,

who will begin the first Sunday in February. I‘m still the Chair,

and will work with both pianist/choir leaders to bring you the

best programs that we can.

From time to time we will have outsiders to perform. Students

will be difficult to bring in, as they play or sing in their own

churches. Most of them, I believe, do that.

If any one of you can play an instrument and are willing to help

our programming, please step up and let us know. Laura Petruska

adds to our music with her recorder, and Marshall Frank, if we

can catch him, has agreed to play his golden violin from time to

time. Art DeMinno has also offered to play his clarinet from time

to time. He has played at the Cocoa Village Playhouse

productions for years. Any advice will be welcome, as long as

it‘s constructive. okay?

I can‘t finish this piece without saying a word about our recent

loss of Bibbi Van Orsdale, who passed away Monday, January

17th. She was one of the most wonderful women I have ever had

the pleasure of knowing and really liking. She never had a

negative word to say about anyone--at least to my knowledge-

and helped others with her nursing skills whenever needed, She

bore her pain heroically. Ray hovered near her all those months

while she was battling the disease that threatened her life several

times. We all extend our sincere sympathies to Ray and Bibbi‘s

family. She will be missed.

by

Cathy Stanton

RUMMAGE SALE ANNOUNCEMENT . . . Paul Knittel

Our RUMMAGE SALE will be a one day affair on Saturday,

March 19th, 2011, 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. We need all who have

items for the sale to bring them to the Church on Sundays. Paul

Knittel will have a key. If he is not there, a key for the

doublewide will be in the office for your use, it is on the

Administrator‘s desk with a silver pipe attached. If you have

some clothes that you feel are worthy of the sale please hang

them on a hanger tagged with the size of the garment. We

welcome small furniture pieces but we cannot handle larger

pieces.

If you would like to help with the RUMMAGE sale, please sign

on the sing-up sheet on the table to the rear of the church, see

Paul Knittel if you have any questions. Call Paul at 751-4121


Sharing Center items are due the first Sunday of each month — toothpaste & brushes, bath soap, shaving materials, non-perishable goods, deodorant, crackers, canned goods, etc.— see Cathy Stanton!


HARTY EXPLAINS HOW AN UNWED PREGNANT TEEN

BECAME MOTHER OF GOD 19 Dec

―The Christmas story has been swallowed whole

by most Protestants and Catholics, but it is bad

history and bad biology.‖ So began Sheila

Harty‘s talk. Ms. Harty, an author, educator,

theologian, and former Nader Raider, spoke

about the myth of Jesus‘ birth.

Asked which gospel tells the Christmas story,

most people assume all four: Matthew, Mark,

Luke, and John. But only the gospels of Matthew and Luke have

an infancy narrative of Jesus with his miraculous birth. Aside

from the error in thinking that the gospels reflect actual events in

history recorded by eye-witnesses, most Christians also fail to

recognize that the two gospel versions of the story contradict.

Asked to recount what they know about the Christmas story,

biblical literalists and ordinary Christians get it wrong. Most

mention shepherds and angels, three wise men on camels

following a star in the East to a stable with sheep, cows, and

donkeys. They mention innkeepers turning Joseph and the virgin

Mary away when a census took them to the little town of

Bethlehem with Mary on a donkey. They describe the baby Jesus

in swaddling cloths, laying in a manger in a stable, before the

family escapes Herod and flees into Egypt. But if you read the

Christmas story in the gospels of Matthew and Luke, you find no

mention of three wise men; camels; sheep, cows, or donkeys in a

stable; or an innkeeper turning them away. None of the above

items are in either gospel story of Jesus‘ birth; they exist only in

―the collective inheritance of Western fantasy.‖ Indeed, most

people‘s recall of the Christmas story comes not from reading the

bible but from seeing too many grade-school pageants or front-

yard crèches.

In fact, the stories in Matthew and Luke have only four items in

common: Jesus was born in Bethlehem, Mary was the mother of

Jesus, Mary was called a virgin, and Joseph was her betrothed.

Other than that, the Christmas stories in Matthew and Luke agree

on almost nothing else. Written some 90 to 100 years after the

birth of Jesus, these stories are ―virtually irreconcilable.‖

Moreover, these gospels contradict on the year of Jesus‘ birth—

by 10 to 12 years! As both Matthew and Luke refer to Herod in

their Christmas stories, most scholars opt for the year 4 BCE for

the birth of Jesus as reckoned by the end of Herod‘s reign.

If we don‘t even know the year of Jesus‘ birth, why do Christians

confidently celebrate it on December 25th? To unify his empire,

Emperor Constantine blended Christian and Pagan traditions by

officially recognizing their festivals and sanctioning dates for

their celebration. In the 4th century, two prominent Pagan

festivals were celebrated in winter: the Saturnalia honored

Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture, from December 18 to 24

and the birth of Mithras, the Persian god of light, was honored

from December 25 to January 1. Outdoing each of these seven-

day Pagan festivals, Christmas became a twelve-day celebration,

merging Christian traditions with pagan ones, such as feasting,

gift-giving, holly wreaths, and mistletoe. The growing Christian

Church accommodated differences in their Eastern and Western

branches by assigning the Luke version of the birth of Jesus to

December 25th as Christmas and by assigning the Matthew

version to January 6th as Feast of the Epiphany.

There is also misunderstanding of the term ―virgin‖ as used to

describe Mary. When Matthew wrote ―the virgin shall conceive

and bear a son, and they will call him Immanuel,‖ he made

errors. Raymond E. Brown, the dean of New Testament

scholarship, is emphatic that the Isaiah prophecy does not

predict a virginal conception. He stated that the virginal

conception of Jesus is a minority view, scarcely attested, of

dubious historicity, with a slender basis in scripture. Religious

leaders were frequently believed born of a divine being acting

upon a virgin. We find numerous virgin births throughout the

ancient world: the gods Apollo, Bacchus, and Perseus; the

mythic heroes Jason, Minos, and Hercules; the great rulers

Sargon and Alexander; and the sages Pythagoras and Plato. All

birth stories of great people are mythological in their attempt to

interpret retroactively the meaning of that greatness. The birth of

Jesus was no exception. His virginal conception was a cultural

fusion of pagan myths and legendary heroes, i.e., ―a miracle.‖

So do we take down the crèche? The crèche was introduced by

Francis of Assisi in 1223. It inflates a lot of material into one

diorama. Not only are all the elements from the gospels of

Matthew and Luke included, but also elements from nonbiblical

sources. Much, it seems, is needed to fulfill the dramatic

potential of the Christmas story. These stories were created less

to satisfy the curiosity of Christians about the early life of Jesus

and more to proclaim his Messiahship and Kingship. The gifts

from the wise men confirmed that exalted status: gold for a king;

frankincense for the divine; myrrh for power over death. Indeed,

the Jews‘ expectation of the Messiah included no virginal

conception; that concept is Hellenistic and Egyptian. Nor does

one need ―a super-natural birth to be declared Son of God in a

Jewish context.‖

The Christian proclamation of Jesus‘ kingship as the Messiah

was a missing part of the gospel ―good news,‖ because Jesus did

not proclaim himself. The gospels are not history but theology;

their intent is not a biography of Jesus but a proclamation of the

Christ. The meaning is profound, but not literally true. . . . jh-b


Welcome To Our New Members

Catherine George

Joined January 2

Fahim Ahmed

Joined January 9


We rearranged the furniture in Friendship Hall

For a couple of Sundays First, we had a recorded sermon on the last Sunday of 2010, so this arrangement was ideal Congregational members unanimously said that they liked it, so we made minor adjustments in the center to get the lectern closer to the center for the first Sunday of 1011

View from near the entrance, looking northwest

View toward the entrance, looking

southeast

Center arrangement for the last Sunday in 2011


UUA TRUSTEE TIDBITS by Joan Lund

Recently I received an email from the Program

manager of our UUA Congregational

Stewardship Services Program alerting me to

the Green Sanctuary blog posting which

featured our Odessa, Florida Spirit of Life Unitarian Universalists, who rather than adding

on to their building or embarking on new

construction, are repairing and finding ways to

better maintain their existing structure. The Green Sanctuary

Program (GSP) was originally nurtured and managed by the UU

Ministry for Earth and designed to envision and create a world in

which all humans care with gratitude our Earth. Originally the

GSP was an outgrowth of the Seventh Principle Project, a UUA

affiliate environmental organization created in 1989.

The GSP provides framework for congregations to begin specific

projects and activities that lead to recognition as a GS through

candidacy and then accreditation. The GSP asks congregations to

explore what it means to live today on our earth within a religious

community and it‘s a way for all UUs to join our efforts in

becoming stewards of our earth. Once a congregation has received

recognition for completing the GSP it continues its commitment

by creating sustainable lifestyles for its members as individuals

and as a faith community. The congregation continues to be

committed towards creating their religious community‘s

dedication to harmony with the earth. As of last December there

were 148 accredited Green Sanctuary congregations, which

included eight Florida congregations.

The GSP provides a path for congregational study, reflection, and

action in response to environmental challenges. The building

blocks and focus area of the GSP include worship and celebration,

religious education, environmental justice, and sustainable living.

When a congregation decides to become a participant in GSP and

has completed the initial self-assessment, they examine their

current practices in each of the focus areas. In addition to these

areas of focus or goals congregations may choose to set one or

more of their own goals which reflect their particular specific

interest or issue. Participating in the GSP can be an exciting and

rewarding process for a congregation and a well-thought-out environmental program can strengthen and bring the congregation

together is various ways including attracting new members a

congregation, As the congregation the impact of the collective

imprint on our earth will be lessened.

Information about the GSP can be found on our UUA website

(uua.org) and linking to Green Sanctuary, where you will also be

able to look at the Green Sanctuary Manual. In the Manual many

success stories can be found as well as the steps to getting started,

conducting an environmental assessment, creating an action plan,

becoming a candidate, and achieving and maintaining

accreditation.

As always I look forward to hearing from you and wish all Florida

UUs a happy ♥ day.

live with this fact. Some relationships are brief and others last a

lifetime.

So, Behrendt concluded, instead of loving your neighbor as

yourself—not realistic for most of us—it is better to focus on

being civil, fair, sincere, and forgiving. Even that takes a huge

amount of thought and energy, but it is well worth it in the end. . . . rr

THE REVEREND TIM HUME-BEHRENDT AND WIFE

PEGGY SPENCER-BEHRENDT 16 Jan

After the Reverend Tim Hume

-Behrendt and his wife Peggy

Spencer Behrendt, entertained

us with a wide variety of

music, ranging from the

classical to ―Old McDonald

Had a Farm,‖ on a variety of

instruments (harp, violin,

guitar, banjo, and harmonica), the Reverend Behrendt, a semi-

retired UU minister from New York who comes with his wife to

Florida during the winter months, talked to us about the mandate,

―Love your neighbor,‖ changing it to a more realistic and more

easily achievable goal of treating others with civility, fairness,

sincerity, and forgiveness. In the wake of the tragic shooting in

Arizona the previous week, he discarded the talk he had

originally planned to give and talked instead about how to treat

others with dignity and respect without necessarily loving them,

a term that he thinks should be reserved for only a small circle of

people in our lives.

One definition of love in Webster‘s Dictionary is ―friendly

affection,‖ and most of us are fortunate if we can say that we

exhibit friendly affection toward a few close friends and family

members. Asking us to love everyone in the world, said

Behrendt, is unattainable, so we should set our sights more

realistically. Behrendt set four guidelines we should follow in

getting along with others.

Civility—Defined as neutrally courteous or avoiding rudeness,

civility is necessary for dealing with others. Unlike Don Rickles,

who uses rudeness for comic effect, people in public positions,

such as law enforcement, must demonstrate civility. Coming

across to others as bossy or arrogant creates a backlash that often

stirs up trouble that could easily have been avoided.

Fairness—We should all give others a fair chance, no matter

what reputation may have preceded them, and not make snap

judgments based on their appearance or demeanor.

Sincerity—Sincerity must be accompanied by tact or diplomacy.

If we must make criticisms that we feel are necessary, we must

find a way that doesn‘t offend or cause rejection.

Forgiveness—All of us, especially ministers and teachers, must

learn to overlook criticisms by certain congregants or students.

We have to overlook some of it, forgive a lot of it, and give

others the benefit of the doubt.

As important as the four guidelines above, said Behrendt, are the

omissions—the things that he didn‘t say. He did not say, ―Be

intimate.‖ We should be careful in whom we confide, for most

people are not trained to keep a confidence. We shouldn‘t want

to be intimate with everyone, for it is an honor to be considered

close enough to someone to share confidences. He also did not

say, ―Be warm with others.‖ It‘s nice to feel affection for others,

but we should never fake it. Either we feel it or we don‘t. He did

not say, ―Always be cheery.‖ To always be upbeat and bouncy

makes people uncomfortable. (Of course, always being depressed

has the same effect.) Finally, he did not say, ―Be expectant of

what this relationship will become.‖ Some people will like us

and some will not, based on personality, and we must learn to



NEAL STANNARD IS SPEAKING ON FEBRUARY 27 . . .

Why did the Titanic sink? . . . and other things

you thought you knew. What color is

the ―black box‖ on an airplane? Orange. Who

was the first person to be chosen President of

the United States? Not George Washington, he

was way down the list. What were the first

names of Presidents Grant and Wilson? Not

what you think. As UUs, we like to think of

ourselves as truth-seekers. In this service, let's have a little fun

diving for the truth and busting a myth or two along the way.

My bio should include the fact that I recently published the book

Now And The, The Movies Get It Right, that I recently appeared

in a Theatre Guild production of Fiddler On The Roof, and will

be appearing in March in Annie—and I am not, nor have I ever

been, a member of the Indian River Democratic Executive

Committee!

Bibbi Van Orsdale, a former member of

Friendship Fellowship, died January 17,

2011. Her husband, Ray Van Orsdale, is a

Friend of the Fellowship.

Bibbi, born in Sweden, was a Registered Nurse,

former Chair of the Women’s Friendship Circle, and

Co-Chair of the Caring Committee

A Memorial Service will be held in Friendship Hall

SOCIAL CONCERNS

NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Pleeeeze make a special

effort in February to bring in

foodstuffs, clothing,

toiletries, etc., for the Daily

Bread, Sharing Centers, and

HIV/AIDS facility, Project Response.

We continue to give First Sunday donations to many charities.

Brevard NOW received almost $200 for their all-important

program called WIN (Women in Need) in January. I took it to

the meeting myself. Everyone said ―thank you‖ to our

congregation for helping.

We did not receive as much as usual in our donation box in

January, but it was all distributed, a couple of bags at a time.

Could we all make it a plan to bring in at least one can, or box of

food the first (minister‘s) Sunday?\

We‘re making more headway this year into the communities-at-

large, including the families helped by Janet Haden-Baker‘s

work.

Many thanks to all who are active in this program.

My German friend Brigit and I actually went ―dumpster diving‖

in January, next door to her, where the owners had sold their

house. This was great fun, and netted a good deal of useful items

for Operation HOPE. Another neighbor of hers had died recently,

and her family gave Brigit a large bag of very nice clothing,

which I took to The Daily Bread Thrift Shop. Sheets and long

denim dresses had to go through the laundry first, however, and a

few spots had to be Cloroxed out of a nice child‘s sweater.

In addition, yet another neighbor of Brigit‘s tossed out a king

mattress in perfect condition, which Jesse Zermeno and his wife

managed to squeeze into their enclosed pickup truck. Jesse

claimed that at least 4 kids could sleep on that mattress at

Operation HOPE.

Brigit, who is my age, never imagined she would enjoy doing

this sort of thing, but we both had a wonderful time.

DON‘T THROW ANYTHING AWAY THAT WE CAN

RELAY TO THOSE WHO NEED AND APPRECIATE IT! Just

call me at 259-7949. ♥ HAPPY VALENTINE‘S DAY! ♥

Social Concerns &

Issues

by Cathy Stanton

FROM THE WELCOMING CONGREGATION

COMMITTEE . . . Nancy Shacklette

The Welcoming Congregation Committee‘s

mission is to assist our congregation in

achieving the official Welcoming

Congregation status from the Unitarian

Universalist Association. For a year and a

half, the committee has been meeting and

offering various programs. At the Annual

Meeting on March 20, 2011, the

congregation will be asked to decide if

Friendship Fellowship at Pineda would like to be officially

designated a Welcoming Congregation by the UUA. What would

this mean for Friendship Fellowship?

It would allow our congregation to have a rainbow-colored

chalice displayed on the UUA congregation page. It is defined

as: ―this congregation has taken part in the Unitarian Universalist

Association Welcoming Congregation program to become more

inclusive towards bisexuals, gays, lesbian and/or transgender

people (BGLT).‖ It will tell the world we are working on finding

ways to live out our commitment to the dignity and worth of all

people. That we have chosen not to be silent. That as a

congregation we are speaking out against discrimination.

―It is the right thing, the moral thing, the ethical thing and the

kind thing‖ is how one committee member put it.

And another: ―Of course we are a welcoming congregation.

However, the Unitarian Universalist Welcoming Congregation is

different. The rainbow chalice says we have spent many months

learning about the issues, prejudices, injustices and concerns of

the bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people, their

families and friends and they are welcome at Friendship

Fellowship without prejudice and judgment.‖

―The programs helped dispel misinformation about BGLT

people. Another benefit was in meeting gay and lesbian people

who are highly respected and assets in the community.‖

But the decision is not up to the committee. It is the decision of

the whole congregation. Please feel free to ask any questions

and/or let the committee know if you need more information

about anything in this regard. Anonymous questions or

comments can be placed in the envelope on the Welcoming

Congregation Committee‘s bulletin board in the coffee room.


GUESTS

We extended our Friendship Welcome to

these guests . . . and we encourage them to

return again and again!

Barbara Bennett Daytona Beach

David Panzl Daytona Beach

Holley & Carl Ulbrich Clemson, SC

Cyntha Prescott Cordova, TN

Linda & Gerald Nelms Melbourne

Dianna Ivey Rockledge

Christine Arcas Rockledge

Joyce Hinds Illinois

Larry Vita

Linda Heinzen-Mitchell

Craig Miller Satellite Beach

Sean McMenamin

Paul Osgood Gardiner, NY

Sabrina Fravel Valrico, FL

Sabrina is Jane Farmer‘s daughter

Larry Vita Titusville

Steve, Cyndy, Charles, & Shane Parr Columbia, SC

Patricia Cline Indialantic

Barb & Tom Balcom Minneapolis, MN

Corey Glasgow

Allison Martin Raleigh, NC

Overda Stonerock auditioning for Sunday Music Pianist

Martin Luther King March, January 17 in Melbourne Laura Petruska, Jackie Higgins, Bill Scott

FLORIDA’S ADOPTION BAN . . . Nancy Shacklette

Florida‘s law barring gay people from

adopting has been overturned by the courts.

But the fight isn‘t over! We need your help

educating Floridians about the harmful

effects of the adoption ban.

Learn how you can fight discrimination and

ensure that all loving families continue to

have the right to adopt in Florida at these free

education events:

Learn from the media experts of The Gay & Lesbian Alliance

Against Defamation about the adoption ban and how to talk

about it effectively in order to preserve this victory for Florida

families!

Both events are free and open to the public and will be held at

Riviera United Church of Christ, 451 Riviera Dr., NE, Palm Bay,

Florida.

Florida ACLU, Friendship Fellowship‘s Welcoming

Congregation Committee, and other local organizations are

sponsoring these adoption ban educational programs.

Please see Nancy Shacklette or call her at 321-432-5599 if you

would like to arrange a carpool for either or both events.


LAURA’S ON THE MOVE . . . AGAIN!!!

I'll once again be on the move. This time it is to the Philippines. I leave on January 29. The ship will then go into the shipyard and I'll be getting off. I'll only be gone for 6 weeks this time. I might, then, join back up with the ship after the shipyard period.

Here is my new E-mail from January 31st till sometime in March:

[email protected]

(you must put all the dots in the right place!)

Andy will mind the Florida homestead and know where I am and when I'm coming back. I will not have telephone coverage so my mobile number 321 806 0559 will be on hold until I return.

Please let me hear from you. Remember ... no anti-government, no porno, no pictures which could be controversial . . . this is a government computer and there is no privacy!

I'll come back with some good stories!!

mailto:[email protected]


The Friendship Flyer

Editor ..................... John England — [email protected] Printing & Mailing ............................................ Brad Baker

is the monthly newsletter of THE FRIENDSHIP FELLOWSHIP

AT PINEDA A Unitarian Universalist

Congregation

District 62, Society #2923

Sunday Services at 10:30 AM

3115 Friendship Place, just off US Hwy 1

Sunday School

available for children at 10:30 AM

Find us on the web at www.uuspacecoast.com

CONSULTING MINISTER The Reverend Dr. John M. Higgins

CONGREGATIONAL LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE

Chair ................................................................ Brad Baker Vice Chair .................................................. Harriet Claxton Secretary ............................................ Janet Haden-Baker Treasurer ......................................................... Kathy Lees Member ....................................................... Marsha Berry Member ......................................................... Dean Childs Member .................................................................. vacant

FEBRUARY MONTHLY MUSE . . . Renay Coyne

―When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our

lives mean the most to us,

we often find that it is those who, instead of giving

advice, solutions, or cures,

have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our

wounds with a warm and tender

hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of

despair or confusion,

who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement,

who can tolerate not

knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the

reality of our powerlessness,

that is a friend who cares.‖

Henri Nouwen

Jane Farmer with daughter Sabrina Fravel Sunday, January 16

STITCHES, TWITCHES, SCRATCHES AND DISPATCHES

Brad Baker, CLC Chair

―Kindness is in our power, even when fondness

is not‖—Samuel Johnson.

On Monday, I decided that I was going to write

a few words about Martin Luther King‘s ―Letter

From a Birmingham Jail‖. However, I changed

my topic when I attended a ―Care giving for

Seniors Conference.‖ During a social worker‘s

presentation, I heard the acronym SLICK used

in the context of caring for a person with dementia.

SLICK is a useful acronym for people who attend to another‘s

healthcare needs. It is also useful for us, the members of

Friendship Fellowship at Pineda (FFP) as we strive to build a

vibrant and caring community. As individuals and as a FFP

community we need to consider our individual and group:

● Strengths

● Limitations

● Information

● Comfort

● Kindness

FFP has an ongoing process designed to examine our strengths

and limitations. We are also examining how we communicate

information as an organization and how we can comfort and

express kindness and compassion.

The members of FFP are an amazing and talented group. How

can we use our group and individual strengths, our limitations,

and our communications, to comfort and to express kindness?

How can we make FFP and Brevard County better?

“Letter Form a Birmingham Jail” http://www.h-net.org/~hst306/

documents/letter.html Martin Luther King

“The Quest for Peace and Justice” http://nobelprize.org/

nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-lecture.html Nobel

Lecture by Martin Luther King

http://www.h-net.org/~hst306/documents/letter.html

http://www.h-net.org/~hst306/documents/letter.html

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-lecture.html

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-lecture.html

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