model 5-paragraph Cold War essay

my prompt:

Attack or defend:

The United States was ineffective in dealing with the threat of the Soviet Union during the Cold War.

I start out with a very rough outline of what I want to argue.

I respond to the prompt without writing:

“I believe,” or “I disagree with the statement. . .” or “this paper is going to prove. . .”

The United States was ineffective in dealing with the threat of the Soviet Union during the Cold War.

Notice that throughout the paper I do not refer to the U.S. as “us” and I never write “we.”

Keep academic papers in 3rd person objective.

what component of the essay is this?

What are the requirements for a thesis?

It must be succinct.

It must be arguable (i.e., there is a counter argument).

‘N Sync is no longer touring. (This is not a thesis, it is a statement of fact)

It must be succinct.

It must be arguable (i.e., there is a counter argument).

‘N Sync is no longer touring. (This is not a thesis, it is a statement of fact [it is also a great relief to millions the world over])

What are these?

What is their function?

They must directly support your argument (the thesis).

The main topic of each body paragraph corresponds to one of the supporting points.

To help organize my thoughts, I put headings for each of the body paragraphs. I will REMOVE HEADINGS for the final.

does this work as an intro paragraph?

what else is needed?

what is this?

I have background information but I am dissatisfied with my wording.

Be careful with overuse of adjectives.

Be careful with overuse of adjectives.

Be superhumanly vigilant about rampant overuse of descriptive phrases.

Be very careful with overuse of adjectives.

Be superhumanly vigilant about rampant overuse of descriptive phrases.

They will seriously detract from your coherent, well-crafted, and effective message.

this is not enough for a body paragraph

topic sentence (mini-thesis: what this paragraph will be about)

two pieces of evidence (related to the topic sentence)

what is missing?

I need to answer the question “so what?” regarding the evidence and its connection to the argument

does this answer “so what?” and explain how the evidence (leaving materiel and weapons behind but no army) relates to the mini-thesis?

no- this is more evidence, not analysis

is this analysis?

analysis must:

answer “so what?” - How does the evidence you have presented relate to the mini-thesis (and the argument as a whole)?

yes, this is analysis

concluding sentence AND transition

wrap up the paragraph and lead into the next main point

I’m not satisfied with this sentence-

it does too little for the amount of words

it uses a self-referential “our” which should be avoided in an academic paper

better, but I don’t want to repeat “new” and I want to mention President Truman since he is central to the next paragrph

I like this even better since I touch on Truman, mention a new strategy, and transition from Europe to the wider world

in-text citations

you must cite a source:

anytime you use information or ideas that are not your own or general knowledge (e.g., We declared independence in 1776.)

citing books Two options:

1. Introduce author in the sentence.

Mr. Boyd eloquently wrote that the school year should be extended to eleven-and-a-half months (234).

2. Refer to author’s work in the sentence

Some of the greatest minds of our time have advocated for a lengthening of the school year (Boyd 234).

citing websitesinclude in the text the first item that appears in the Works Cited entry that corresponds to that citation (e.g. author name, article name, website name, etc.)

Various studies have shown that students retain more information with more frequent, but shorter, vacations (“Case”).

If my works cited entry looks like this:

“The Case Against Summer Vacation.” Time

online. 8 May 2009. Web. 15 Sep 2010.

in-text citations come at the end of a sentence or

paragraph. They are part of that sentence, so they come

before the period.Mr. Boyd eloquently wrote that the school year should be extended to eleven-and-a-half months (234).

Various studies have shown that students retain more information with more frequent, but shorter, vacations (“Case”).

•what is this?

•the topic sentence, or mini-thesis

the topic sentence, or mini-thesis

this relates to my 2nd supporting point, thus it will be my 2nd body paragraph

so what?

connect the evidence to the topic sentence

I still need a transition to commitment to allies

finally, supporting point 3

•does my mini-thesis (topic sentence) relate to my supporting point?

•no, since there is no mention of commitment to allies

The conclusion

restate my argument

remind reader of significance of supporting points and their relation to the argument

end with the “big picture”

the conclusion should restate the argument, explain the supporting points, and wrap things up, usually including the “big picture”

Now we can go back and look at the sources that were cited in the text and see the connection with the format of the Works Cited Page

If you found information that you did not use in

your paper:

you can make a separate Works Consulted list

the same format applies as in the Works Cited

have fun!now you can tackle such subjects as:

the reconciliation of quantum mechanics with relativity

Turgenev vs. Dostoyevsky on the relative complicity of the 1840s generation of Russian intelligentsia for the radical, violent nihilism of the 1860s generation.

hot dogs vs. hamburgers