walk in the park with an iPod? The signals my body is sending me about whether we have stretched enough today or walked too much yesterday; the precise color of the sky, the direction of the breeze, and the dozens of trees I’ve begun to appreciate for their very particular and unique features. For years I hardly noticed these things as I raced through with the iPod speeding me along. Now I can’t bear to give up a chance to be fully present to myself and to the wonders of a walk in a park, with the breath as my anchor, holding me gently but firmly in the present moment so I can fully savor all of it.

All of the tetrads [groups of four instructions] have brought welcome insight and will no doubt continue to do so, on the cushion and throughout the day. But it was the essential grounding in the present moment of the first tetrad [ on the breath] that I found most welcome in the early months of practicing with the Anapanasati Sutra [ refer to page 6 for more information regarding this sutra]. I’m learning to enjoy my breath, and marvelling at everything that becomes possible when I do. I’m so grateful for this simple and precious treasure at the base of this astonishing Sutra. We’re so fortunate to have this teaching and the skillful teachers who guide us through its wisdom.

from Mel RamosTampa

Coming Back to the BreathHere’s a little of what’s happening with me. I’ll share something that I did not see coming and that has been extremely beneficial: the Anapanasati Sutra is teaching me what it means to enjoy the breath. I realize this is very basic stuff, but for me it has been a revelation and one with far reaching benefits. For years, the suggestion that we enjoy our breathing has seemed a little odd. Breathing is something that happens in the background, after all. It seemed that we could learn to breathe more deeply to relax and to help nourish our cells with more oxygen. But enjoying the breath was an entirely new idea when I started down a Buddhist path. I tried to enjoy breathing, but wasn’t sure I really did, to be perfectly honest.

Now, after several months of living and breathing with the powerful Anapanasati Sutra, I’ve begun to experience the breath in the body as a refuge, always available, regardless of what is swirling around me. More and more I find myself coming back to the breath, grateful to have this simple path to coming back to the body and the present moment. More and more I find myself riding the breath to get back home. In the process it seems I’m becoming better acquainted with the breath, as if we’re on more intimate terms now. Enjoying the breath is no longer a stretch. When I remember to come back to it, the breath has become a resource in all kinds of circumstances, happy and sad, difficult and easy, like a good and reliable friend.

A related development: when I walk for exercise, I have stopped using an iPod to move myself along. Instead I look foward to a stretch of time when I know I will have the opportunity to enjoy breathing and being in my body, experiencing each breath and each step, savoring everything along the way, fully present to all of it. Why would I want to distract myself from all the wonders of a

Sharing Echoes

from the Path

among friends of the

Florida Community

of Mindfulness

SPRING 2010

The Buddha is breathing,The Buddha is walking.

I am the breathing, I am the walking.

There is only the breathing,there is only the walking.

There is no breather,there is no walker.

Excerpt fromBreathe, you are alive!

~Thich Nhat Hanh

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Moon faints into blue rush hour geese scattering big sky flaunting vast freedom

from Martina McNaboeMarco Island

The moon lights our dark path to the meditation hallThay’s transmissions are teachingsHis teachings are transmissionsI leave the hall in brighter lightThe sun and moon bow to each other and to the cosmosThe leaves change color brilliantly

from Barb HawkChapel Hill, NCwritten at Blue Cliff Monastery

Cold calm morning

Waiting for a loon to rise……

Instead a seal pops up, closer, swims a little, arches back under –

I wait, watch, breathe: nothing more.from Andrew RockTampa

Breathing in breathing outloosening attachment experiencing impermanencemind objects come and goemptiness and the world appearswonderful to find a seat however brieffrom Bill VollmerFt. Myers

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Continued on Page 4

3

The Heart of Practice

I was asked to write for the Mindfulness Matters newsletter regarding my brush-with-death expe-rience via a myocardial infarct (MI, heart attack) on February 6 (lessons on impermanence).

Here goes: I was reading the local newspaper, enjoying a cup of coffee, chatting with Marilyn. Not atypical for us on a Saturday morning after meditation. 7:05 a.m., all of a sudden I felt pressure front to back in my chest, like a very strong person pressing my body together. I walked slowly to the bedroom and lay down for about two min-utes. NO RELIEF. Cold and clammy! My first experience with cold and clammy. Kinda woozy, I put on clothes and told Marilyn, “We need to go to the emergency department now!” 7:15, Marilyn was dressed and away we went on a threeeee-minute ride to the nearby hospital. ER folks sprang into action immediately. 7:25, in less than 10 minutes, the ambulance from Charlotte Presbyterian Hospital backed in at the ER and hooked me to the usual IVs, BPs, EKGs, etc. You get the picture by now. Flashing lights, sirens, speed, chatter (What are your pain levels?), and radio info to Cardiology at Presby-terian. The attendant hovering over me in route stopped the MI with meds and saved me from a major infarct. 8:15ish, the EMTs whisked me into a cardiac catheterization lab. With the cath team standing ready, the process of angioplasty and stents began. Conscious and talking with the cardiologist, I was able to see the monitors and images of my heart on a screen above me. Al-most two hours passed (in linear time), and the doctor said with a smile in his voice, “All done, see you this afternoon on the cardiac unit.”I was most concerned for Marilyn in all of this. The look on her face as the EMTs rolled me away is still vivid in my mind. I kept telling the EMTs to tell Marilyn I am still alive. We have shared deep speaking and deep listening on both sides of the experience. She also has moved through and to a new level of awareness and practice.

Background info (causes and conditions): No traffic on the way to the hospital. Salisbury ER not busy, thus prompt attention. Presbyterian Hospital ambulance already en route to Salis-bury (I don’t know why). Hardly any traffic on the interstate to Charlotte. No one else in cardiac

cath lab. The doctor already there! Favorable causes and conditions!

What do practice, teachings, and breathing have to do with the above?

While all of this was happening to my body, I followed my breath, which has become most clearly important in the Anapanasati Sutra Intensive with Fred and sangha brothers and sisters. From Fred’s email of January 26, 2010, regarding the interim period, this was to be “a time to use the sixteen meditations to work on personal and interpersonal issues in your life. . . . Each of the [ex-amples] can be specifically personalized in relation to specific situations, personages, issues that are current in your life. Please do not simply adopt the aforementioned [examples] for yourself, but rather use them as a means to stimulate your own use of the meditations to facilitate your own very personal transformation and healing.” My meditation choices were presented to me most auspi-ciously in the events detailed above: 1. I‘m too much in my head during the day, so I want to focus on maintaining body awareness, staying in my body and its senses throughout my day.

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Heart Practice continued...

4

2. My body is often tight and constricted, I want to work on maintaining relaxation and calmness in my body during the day.

3. I want to learn to understand and accept imper-manence in my own body--sickness, aging, old age, and death, especially the ones I’m most afraid of or distressed by.

I’ve reflected on these three meditation choices:

1. Choosing body awareness as opposed to one’s body choosing awareness for you. I read some-where and paraphrase here that the body takes care of its needs. It breathes without our thinking, “I need to breathe.” It functions without our thinking, input, or noticing. Practice point. With awareness of the breath, as Thay says in Breathe! You Are Alive!,

“We begin to touch the reality of no self. There is only breathing going on.” Breathing and experienc-ing the pain became awareness of breathing. My experience with breath and breathing while these events unfolded kept me calm, focused, and pres-ent to each moment. Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in; breathing out, I know that I am breath-ing out.

2. Body tight, constricted, relaxed, calm. Yes, there is a place or state of relaxation and calm to be found by following the breath. In the moment, breath by breath, throughout the day or in extreme situations. Relaxed and breathing mindfully, I re-mained in my body. Breathing in, I calm my whole body; breathing out, I calm my whole body.

3. I have a profound opportunity to understand and accept impermanence, sickness, aging, and death! I did not once have the thought that I was going to die. Hope and fear fall away when one follows the breath in awareness in the moment. I had no idea a heart attack was going to happen. (Note the Five Remembrances.) My fear was that Marilyn was upset and no one was telling her how I was doing. I would like to describe the cath lab experience briefly from a practice perspective. Lying on the stainless steel operating table naked with tubes and wires and monitors, it struck me as odd that I was awake. Aware of being aware of my body. Aware of being aware of breathing. Aware of breathing, breath, breather becoming one. Who or what is one? Who is aware? Moving to who is breathing? There is no body to attach to, only breath; who is watching the body, who is watching the breath?

No one. Mildly sedated but awake, breathing in the moment was natural and peaceful. Later, after the stents, back in my body I became aware of how shivering cold I was as we rolled up to the cardiac unit for more tubes, wires, and decaf coffee.

I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. Tears of gratitude for this life-changing event. Gratitude and love to Fred and sangha broth-ers and sisters for your thoughts, prayers, metta, and chanting in my behalf.

***

My advice from this experience: Practice as if your life depends on it. Integrate breathing awareness into your day, and BREATHE!

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Aging is a Daily Opportunity to Understand Impermanence

Nothing is permanent. Everything eventually changes. We suffer because we try to hold on to everything that makes us happy or we think makes us happy. We struggle to hold on to all the pleasant aspects of our lives. We resist change, yet there is nothing we can do about them. Thus, we suffer. We suffer when we lose a job or a loved one, when a friend moves away or when our children leave home. We might even suffer when a favorite TV program goes off the air, when our favorite team loses, or when our most comfortable sweater wears out.

One of the greatest causes of our suffering is our desire for the things we love to remain unchanged and the things we don’t like to go away permanently. This is absolutely normal! Why in the world should we ever want a tooth ache or unpleasant people to stay in our lives? And if we could do something about it, wouldn’t we make disease, war, poverty, and so on, disappear. Why in the world would we want to see our youthful faces change to wrinkles and our healthy bodies to be filled with aches and pains. It certainly goes without saying that we would never want the people we love to leave us and die.

It is obvious that as we grow older, we can no longer do the things we once did. Our bodies lose their strength and flexibility. Aches and pains are with us more frequently. Depending on how well we cared for our bodies, our ability to play many sports diminishes. Our hair turns white or gray and for some of us even falls out or thins.

But the mind...ahhh the mind. Here is where the greatest lessons lie. Impermanence of our memory. Where did I put the car keys? Why did I just walk into this room? I know I came in here for something! Why did I put the shampoo in the refrigerator? What was her name? How did I forget that doctor appointment? These are often called senior mo-ments.

It can be a most frustrating and embarrassing time of our lives. We can take all of the vitamins, herbs and supplements suggested. We can do all the mental exercises recommended. But we still must accept that as our brains age, our memory is not as it used to be.

Continued on Page 8

Impermanence doesn’t actually cause our suffer-ing. It’s our attitude toward it that causes it. Thich Nhat Hanh, world famous meditation teacher and author tells us, “Long live impermanence!” Without it a flower would never blossom, a baby would never be able to walk or become a teenager and grow into adulthood.

I have a wonderful plant in my office. I cut four or five leaves from a larger plant and put them in water. Soon they grew roots. I transferred them to a pot and added in some dirt. Soon they grew too large for the pot and I put them in a larger pot. Now they spread their new leaves out on the surface of the table. If things didn’t change we wouldn’t see sun-sets and sun rises and different seasons. We would have acorns without oak trees, cats without kittens and oceans without waves.

Sages throughout time tell us that when we accept the way things are in this present moment, all suf-fering disappears. This does not mean we have to like what is happening. We just have to accept it. It does not mean that we stand by on the sidelines and do nothing about that which is unhealthy or hurt-ful. We can take action steps to do what we can to change poverty, homelessness, child abuse and so on. We can ask what can we do about it. Wrinkles? Try wrinkle cream. Body aches and pains? Try yoga and exercise. Memory? Play mind games. Take Vitamins and Gingko Biloba.

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Our nature This is your conditioning. Stretch your heart and let it go;put space around the heart.Look deeply, and it will reveal itself to you.

Seeking consultation, the sister told me flat out to let go. She understood the dynamics so clearly; she understood the conditions, and spoke them,

“Mum has not been so easy to be with.” She shared her own two year struggle to win back a family member’s affection. She encouraged a continuation of love from me to my son in the form of letters, cards, and gifts if I went some-where and returned. The psychology training and behavioral protocols reared their heads as men-tal formations.....I asked: “Should I reward bad behavior with a gift?”. The Sister looked at me without comprehension, because she knows love is the only way. Again, give love, be patient, give love. Simple. Safe.

It was all a karmic set up, the way it became with my son; causes and conditions, yet honestly, it became that way because of my selfishness, my ambition. Blinded. Where was the face of my son before I was born? What on earth did we bring in with us to this life?

Lying in the valley of the Rocky Mountains, lying in the velvet waters of the YMCA swimming pool, sitting in the meditation hall, being there to be with the wonders of my brothers and sisters on stage playing stringed instruments, including a harp! Looking up at the starry Colorado sky, the way things work became apparent again. The land-scape is vast and spacious. It’s not far to the way things work together. There are clouds, waterfalls, boulders, conifers and cliffs.

It’s all there, and now it’s all here. My son is young. He is busy developing his ego, mental for-mations, believing in delusion and the appearence of things. His manas is strong; acquisition is big on his list. And that’s all okay. We will both grow older, we both will change. It is our nature.

from Glenys FazioNaples

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One teaching is:

“One trains oneself: Focusing on impermanence, I breathe in. Focusing on impermanence, I breathe out.”

Spend some time in your morning meditation investigating the changes in your breath, your body, your feelings and your thoughts to learn more about the nature of impermanence.

A wonderful way to close our day is to read the following verse. It helps us to value whatever time we have left in our life and live it fully and with meaning.

The day is now endedOur lives are shorterLet us look carefullyWhat have we done?Noble Community With all our heartLet us be diligentEngaging in the practiceLet us live deeplyFree from our afflictionsAware of impermanenceSo that life does notDrift away without meaningThich Nhat Hanh

from Ruth FishelEllenton

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Impermanence continued...

And most important is keeping our sense of humor.

So if we see this time as a lesson in imperma-nence, we might be able to laugh about it. Well, maybe not laugh, but at least smile, lighten up and relax with it. While it is a time of loss on one hand it can be a time for growth on the other hand. We can avoid a great deal of suffering by realizing our memory is in a state of imper-manence. A daily chance to practice imperma-nence.

Meditation teacher and author Larry Rosenbergassures us that “Practice finally teaches us that everything--the worst fear, the worst disappoint-ment -- is workable if you encounter it with clear seeing.”

Inner work -- Take some time to watch your breath and your feelings.

As we deepen our mindfulness practice, we can begin to see how everything changes moment to moment. Even our breath changes. First a long breath then a short breath, a deep breath and then a shallow breath. Feelings might be up one moment and down the next and then neutral. Anger changes into forgiveness into peace.What do you fear about impermanence?Examine what changes you are resisting in your life. Make a list of changes in your life that you don’t like or want. Examine the root causes and conditions of these changes. Is there anything you can do about them? If there isn’t, can you accept them and then let go? If you can’t let go, notice your resistance, your clinging, your suffering? Is this how you want to feel? Is your struggle to accept this change worth your suffering? A very important teaching of the Buddha is a va-riety of exercises on how to use mindfulness of the breath to look into and understand our body, feelings, mind and consciousness.

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www.floridamindfulness.org

Dear Friends,With joy we offer you our community letter, Mindfulness Matters. May we grow in harmony and awareness as we occasionally share updates from both the established and the budding sanghas. With each issue we wish to bring you news of their activities as well as the insights and wisdom generated by the practice of sangha. We invite you, our sangha sisters and brothers, to also share about your experiences on the path –your reflections on a dharma talk, a retreat, a day of mindfulness or an answer to a question asked of Fred. If photography or poetry expresses your experience, please share your creativity with us.To have your contribution considered for future issues, please send it to newsletter@floridamindfulness.org. Articles or narrative pieces should be no more than 500 words. Please understand that your piece may be edited for clarity (in which case you will be consulted), held for later use or edited due to space limitations, or perhaps, not used, if found not to be of benefit.Thank you to everyone who shared their own dharma encounters in the past issues of Mindfulness Matters.With our sangha hearts open,Chris G. and Jacqulyn

Dates to Note

May 27 Vesak June 5-12 Week Retreat at Southern Dharma Retreat Center N.C. - Vimalakirti II June 24, July 1 and 22 Fred teaching at TampaJune 27, July 18 Fred teaching at NaplesJuly 11 Day of Mindfulness, Tampa

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The Buddhist flag, common at Vesk festivals

Vesak is said to be the most important Buddhist holiday. It is most recognized

by Theravada and some Mahayana tradi-tions. This event takes place during the first full moon in May and is the celebration of the Buddha’s birth, death and enlightenment. The three events are wonderfully communi-cated in Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Old Path, White Clouds” trilogy. The following is para-phrased from his book. Queen Mahamaya while admiring a bloom-ing ashok tree, walked towards it. Suddenly feeling unsteady, she grabbed its branch for support and gave birth to a radiant son. Thirty five years later the hermit Gautama sat under a pippala tree and vowed not to move until he obtained Liberation. As the morning star rose he exclaimed out of deep compassion, “All beings contain within them the seeds of Enlightenment...” Forty five years later the Buddha led his bhikkhus to a forest of sal trees. A spot was cleared for him to lie down between two trees. The

Tathagata comforted his weeping bhikkus as sal blossoms fell all around. “Dharmas are impermanent. If there is birth, there is death. Be diligent in your efforts to attain liberation!” The Buddha closed his eyes. He had spoken his last words. The earth shook. Sal blossoms fell like rain. Every-one felt their minds and bodies tremble. They knew the Buddha had passed into nirvana... Reader, please stop and be with your breath for a few minutes.

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To Contact

Mindfulness MattersEmail:

newsletter@floridamindfulness.org

FLORIDA COMMUNITY OF MINDFULNESS A community practicing

in the spirit ofThich Nhat Hanh

Fred Eppsteiner,Dharma Teacher

Board of DirectorsAngie Parrish, President

Andy Solis, TreasurerJacqulyn Schuett, Secretary

Chris BushDarlene Stewart