MIND YOUR MANNERS A Etiquette rules for...
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RESPECT ROOMIE’S STUDY HABITS If your roommate needs complete silence while studying and you prefer listening to music, figure out a way to do that without offending each other. Also, respecting each other’s daily rou- tine is crucial because you have to live with each other every day and it should be pleasant. If your roommate prefers to read late into the night and you cannot sleep with lights on, then ask him/her to get a night lamp that can be put on a side table for reading while the rest of the room is dark. A plate for everything Bread and Butter Plate It’s the smallest plate on the table measuring five to seven inches in diameter. These little plates are used at breakfast and infor- mal dinners and are taken away before the dessert is served. Appetiser plate The size varies from four to seven inches and this plate is slightly curved at the edges. Not to be con- fused with the bread and butter plates, appetiser plates are slightly larger in size. They are used to hold bite-sized appetisers such as fruits, cheese and crackers, kebabs, etc. Dinner plate 10 to 12 inches in diameter, this is the most used plate during meals. The dinner plate is taken out during the main course. Many use the same plates for both lunch and dinner, while some use a lighter plate for lunch and a heavier one for dinner. INTROSPECTION Q How can I politely turn down unwanted medical advice from enthusiastic relatives and friends. I know they are well meaning but I have my own doctor whom I trust. – Harrowed Teen A. Unwanted medical advice is what you will get aplenty in our country. Worry not, we all have been there, done that. To help you manage these social situations gracefully, check these tips. Say you’re happy with current med- ical care: It’s up to you to pick and choose which doctor or alternative ther- apist you think works best for you. When people suggest the doctors they are consulting, say gently, “I am very happy with the doctor I visit. If I want to change later, I will call and ask you.” Then change the topic. By SUNAIINAA A HAK, etiquette guide Expert SPEAK MIND YOUR MANNERS EATING ETIQUETTE Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Listen to your gut When someone makes a re- quest or asks for something out of your comfort level, you will immediately feel a gut instinct. Allow that instinct to guide you when it comes to taking the next step. It’s really not necessary to agree to every request out of mere politeness. You can say some- thing like, “While I respect your effort to support the society sports association, I’m going to have to decline. I already have my hands full with many extra curricular activities along with my studies and upcoming exam. So sorry for now.” Avoid uneasy talks If someone wants to share information that you are not comfortable discussing, let them immediately know you don’t want to be part of the gossip. For example, respond with “Listen, I want to change the topic. I’m un- comfortable discussing Reena’s situation, and I know she wouldn’t be happy know- ing we are talking behind her back.” This action demon- strates respect for others. Make some rules for friendship If you have a friend who treats you with disre- spect, either by can- celling plans regularly or saying nasty things about you to others, get out of the friendship. Etiquette rules for ROOMMATES Check this manner manual for being a gracious roommate A re you preparing to go to a boarding school or getting ready to go to a hostel for com- petitive exam coaching? Either way, you are likely to share your room with another stu- dent or maybe even more than one. There is value in sharing living space and experiences with another person where people get an opportunity to make adjustments, away from the comfort zone of home. SHARE FOOD BILLS AND OTHER LIVING COSTS Split everyday costs like newspa- per bills, food bills and the like. Try not to borrow money or other utility items from your roomie like his/her stationery, napkins and so on, on a regular basis. These seemingly little things can become a bone of contention dur- ing arguments between people living in close quarters. RESPECT EACH OTHER’S PERSONAL CHOICES Everyone has their own preferences and their own unique style of living or thinking. If your roommate is an early riser and you are a night owl, discuss your schedules and how you can carry on with your lives without disturbing each other. Invest in blackout curtains and a decent pair of earplugs to manage these differences. With time, rationality, patience and effort, roommates can find a rhythm in sharing common living space without giving up their individuality. RETURN MONEY, BORROWED ITEMS ON TIME Co-living with a roommate is not like sharing space with your siblings. So, in case you have borrowed money or other things like pen, books, stoles – make sure you return them on time. If you have borrowed things such as shawls or blanket, the courtesy is to wash it or get it dry-cleaned before returning it. KNOW THE GROUND RULES When you get into a boarding school, read the rules of sharing rooms or dorms carefully so that you are not greeted by surprises on your first week there. If you have a choice or say in your pick of roommates, choose wisely. If you don’t have a choice, then make the best of the situation and try to be friends with your roomie/s. DIVIDE CLEANING CHORES IN A FAIR WAY Basic cleanliness is expected when living with another person. Pick up your wet towels from the bed, make your bed every morning, dust your study table – overall just keep your space clean. Divide cleaning work of common areas like floor, door, windows, etc. in a way that is fair on both of you. Don’t expect your roommate to do the lion’s share of work and you shouldn’t do it either. Discuss these things. Respect the other person’s space. Everyone needs it regardless of how chatty or outgo- ing they are RED FLAGS A few things that may signal you are in the grey zone and would benefit from a boundary check are: ➤ A sense of overwhelm about commitments you’re not happy to uphold ➤ Facing intrusive ques- tions you just don’t want to answer ➤ Fear of hurting some- one else’s feelings at the expense of your own ➤ Wishing you stood up for yourself ➤ Feeling emotionally drained after showing patience for too long RESPECT YOUR SCHEDULE A busy schedule is one reason to decline a request but so is setting aside some downtime. The best ideas often come to us during rest. Surround yourself with people, places and situations that lift you up and make you feel positive. Prioritise your ‘me time’ – it’s important to recharge They look alike, have similar purposes, yet they are different from each other. Read on to know how they serve us in many ways Salad plate Usually round in shape, salad plates come in two sizes – the larger one is eight to 8.5 inches and the smaller one is an inch less. It’s larger than the bread-butter plate. Dessert plate This one measures 7 to 8 inches in diame- ter. Compared to other plates, they are more ornately decorated, to offer a fanciful and sweet conclusion to a meal. Compiled by PALLAVI SHANKAR The power of Nunchi A re you intuitive enough to read people’s minds and moods? Nunchi, sometimes also spelt Noonchi, is a Korean concept signi- fying the subtle art and ability to listen and gauge others’ moods. In Western culture, Nunchi could be described as the concept of emotion- al intelligence. It is of central im- portance to the dynamics of inter- personal relationships. How good is your sixth sense? Euny Hong in her book, ‘Power of Nunchi: The Korean Secret to Happi- ness and Success’, says with great Nunchi, it feels like the world is on your side. Without it, you might feel lost, confused and sceptical about what is happening to you and around you. CONNECT TO THE VIBES Having an inkling of the other person’s mood can be a superhero trait in our impatient world – we all listen to our own voices the most. Catching the mood of another person can help us in social situations in order to get what we want. It also makes us more sensitive. TIMES LIFE ➤ Looking out for subtle cues is the trick. Socially smart people are tuned into peo- ple’s moods. They pick up cues easily. ➤ If you are too emotional, you will not be able to read other people’s moods. Slow down. Calm down. Don’t take people at face value. Look at their body language to understand what is happening or what could happen. Be quick to catch the vibes. ➤ Body language is important. Body language consultant Khyati Bhatt says,“Non-verbal cues, learn- ing to read people’s mood is an important survival skill in today’s tough world. Plus, it makes you emotionally intelligent.” AWAKEN YOUR NUNCHI AWAKENING “Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” RALPH WALDO EMERSON, POET 06 POLISH YOUR SKILLS
Transcript of MIND YOUR MANNERS A Etiquette rules for...
RESPECT ROOMIE’SSTUDY HABITSIf your roommate needs completesilence while studying and you preferlistening to music, figure out a way todo that without offending each other.Also, respecting each other’s daily rou-tine is crucial because you have to livewith each other every day and itshould be pleasant. If your roommateprefers to read late into the night andyou cannot sleep with lights on, thenask him/her to get a night lamp thatcan be put on a side table for readingwhile the rest of the room is dark.
A plate for
everything
Bread and Butter PlateIt’s the smallestplate on the tablemeasuring fiveto seven inchesin diameter.These littleplates are used atbreakfast and infor-mal dinners and are taken awaybefore the dessert is served.
Appetiser plateThe size varies from four to seveninches and this plate is slightlycurved at the edges. Not to be con-fused with the bread and butterplates, appetiser plates are slightlylarger in size. They are used to holdbite-sized appetisers such as fruits,cheese and crackers, kebabs, etc.
Dinner plate10 to 12 inches in diameter, this is themost used plate during meals. The dinner plate is taken out during themain course. Many use the same platesfor both lunch and dinner, while someuse a lighter plate for lunch and aheavier one for dinner.
INTROSPECTION
QHow can I politely turn downunwanted medical advice from
enthusiastic relatives and friends. Iknow they are well meaning but Ihave my own doctor whom I trust. – Harrowed Teen
A. Unwanted medical advice is whatyou will get aplenty in our country.Worry not, we all have been there, done
that. To help you manage these socialsituations gracefully, check these tips. Say you’re happy with current med-ical care: It’s up to you to pick andchoose which doctor or alternative ther-apist you think works best for you.When people suggest the doctors theyare consulting, say gently, “I am veryhappy with the doctor I visit. If I want tochange later, I will call and ask you.”Then change the topic. By SUNAIINAA A HAK, etiquette guide
ExpertSPEAK
MIND YOUR MANNERS
EATING ETIQUETTE
Do you struggle withsetting boundaries?
Listen to your gut When someone makes a re-quest or asks for somethingout of your comfort level, youwill immediately feel a gutinstinct. Allow that instinctto guide you when it comesto taking the next step. It’sreally not necessary to agreeto every request out of merepoliteness. You can say some-thing like, “While I respectyour effort to support the society sports association,I’m going to have to decline.I already have my hands fullwith many extra curricularactivities along with mystudies and upcoming exam.So sorry for now.”
Avoid uneasy talksIf someone wants to shareinformation that you are notcomfortable discussing, letthem immediately know youdon’t want to be part of thegossip. For example, respond
with “Listen, I want tochange the topic. I’m un-comfortable discussingReena’s situation, and I knowshe wouldn’t be happy know-ing we are talking behind herback.” This action demon-strates respect for others.
Make some rules forfriendship
If you have a friend whotreats you with disre-spect, either by can-celling plans regularlyor saying nasty things
about you to others, getout of the friendship.
Etiquetterules forROOMMATESCheck this manner manual for being a gracious roommate
Are you preparing to go to a boarding schoolor getting ready to go to a hostel for com-petitive exam coaching? Either way, you arelikely to share your room with another stu-dent or maybe even more than one. There
is value in sharing living space and experiences withanother person where people get an opportunity to make adjustments, away from the comfort zone of home.
SHARE FOOD BILLS ANDOTHER LIVING COSTSSplit everyday costs like newspa-per bills, food bills and the like.Try not to borrow money orother utility items from yourroomie like his/her stationery,napkins and so on, on a regularbasis. These seemingly little thingscan become a bone of contention dur-ing arguments between people living in close quarters.
RESPECT EACH OTHER’S PERSONAL CHOICES Everyone has their own preferences and their own uniquestyle of living or thinking. If your roommate is an early riserand you are a night owl, discuss your schedules and howyou can carry on with your lives without disturbing eachother. Invest in blackout curtains and a decent pair ofearplugs to manage these differences. With time, rationality,patience and effort, roommates can find a rhythm in sharingcommon living space without giving up their individuality.
RETURN MONEY, BORROWEDITEMS ON TIME Co-living with a roommate is not like sharing spacewith your siblings. So, in case you have borrowedmoney or other things like pen, books, stoles – makesure you return them on time. If you have borrowedthings such as shawls or blanket, the courtesy is towash it or get it dry-cleaned before returning it.
KNOW THE GROUND RULESWhen you get into a boarding school, read the rulesof sharing rooms or dorms carefully so that you arenot greeted by surprises on your first week there. Ifyou have a choice or say in your pick of roommates,choose wisely. If you don’t have a choice, then makethe best of the situation and try to be friends withyour roomie/s.
DIVIDE CLEANING CHORES IN A FAIR WAY Basic cleanliness is expected when living with another person. Pick up your wettowels from the bed, make your bed every morning, dust your study table – overalljust keep your space clean. Divide cleaning work of common areas like floor, door,windows, etc. in a way that is fair on both of you. Don’t expect your roommate todo the lion’s share of work and you shouldn’t do it either. Discuss these things.
Respectthe other
person’s space.Everyone needs itregardless of howchatty or outgo-
ing they are
RED FLAGS
Afew things that maysignal you are in the
grey zone and would benefit from a boundarycheck are:
➤ A sense of overwhelmabout commitmentsyou’re not happyto uphold
➤ Facing intrusive ques-tions you just don’t wantto answer
➤ Fear of hurting some-one else’s feelings at theexpense of your own
➤ Wishing you stood upfor yourself
➤ Feeling emotionallydrained after showingpatience for too long
RESPECT YOUR SCHEDULEA busy schedule is one reason to decline a request butso is setting aside some downtime. The best ideas oftencome to us during rest. Surround yourself with people,places and situations that lift youup and make you feel positive.Prioritise your ‘me time’ – it’simportant to recharge
They look alike, havesimilar purposes, yetthey are different from eachother. Read on to know howthey serve us in many ways
Salad plateUsually round inshape, salad platescome in two sizes –the larger one iseight to 8.5 inches andthe smaller one is an inch less. It’slarger than the bread-butter plate.
Dessert plateThis one measures 7to 8 inches in diame-
ter. Compared to otherplates, they are more ornately
decorated, to offer a fanciful andsweet conclusion to a meal.
Compiled by PALLAVI SHANKAR
The power of NunchiAre you intuitive enough to read
people’s minds and moods?Nunchi, sometimes also spelt
Noonchi, is a Korean concept signi-fying the subtle art and ability to listen and gauge others’ moods. InWestern culture, Nunchi could be described as the concept of emotion-al intelligence. It is of central im-portance to the dynamics of inter-personal relationships.
How good is your sixth sense?Euny Hong in her book, ‘Power ofNunchi: The Korean Secret to Happi-
ness and Success’, says with greatNunchi, it feels like the world is onyour side. Without it, you might feellost, confused and sceptical about whatis happening to you and around you.
CONNECT TO THE VIBESHaving an inkling of the other person’s mood can be a superhero traitin our impatient world – we all listento our own voices the most. Catchingthe mood of another person can helpus in social situations in order to getwhat we want. It also makes us moresensitive. TIMES LIFE
➤ Looking out for subtle cues is the trick.Socially smart people are tuned into peo-ple’s moods. They pick up cues easily.
➤ If you are too emotional, you willnot be able to read other people’smoods. Slow down. Calm down. Don’ttake people at face value. Look attheir body language to understandwhat is happening or what couldhappen. Be quick to catch the vibes.
➤ Body language is important.Body language consultant KhyatiBhatt says,“Non-verbal cues, learn-
ing to read people’s mood is an importantsurvival skill in today’s tough world. Plus,it makes you emotionally intelligent.”
AWAKEN YOUR NUNCHIAWAKENING
“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.”RALPH WALDO EMERSON, POET06 POLISH YOUR SKILLS
