Mick Farren the Mick Farren THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYNAdventures of Marilyn

8/18/2019 Mick Farren the Mick Farren THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYNAdventures of Marilyn

1/23

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN

BY MICK FARREN

7.25.2009Part 0000a

In which Marilyn, after several weeks in hiding, finally meets with he !"ntr"ller in the #ack "f a B$en"s

%ires ta&i. he !"ntr"ller is "$t "f f"c$s and Marilyn is far fr"m ha''y. (I d"n)t kn"w h"w l"ng I can kee'"n d"ing this*+

he !"ntr"ller is m"ti"nless and grim. ( ee' d"ing what e&actly*+(Y"$ kn"w what I)m talking a#"$t.+

he !"ntr"ller remains "$t "f f"c$s and ref$ses t" "ffer her a way "$t. (-", I d"n)t kn"w what y"$)retalking a#"$t.+(I)m talking a#"$t d$cking the %'"ll"nian gesta'". I)m talking a#"$t making nice with i"nysian assh"les.I)m talking a#"$t r$nning thr"$gh the sewers "f /ienna, f"ll"wing the ne$r"n trail "f arry 1ime and the/ril, and av"iding the wrath "f the M"le Men and the les#ian advances "f 'ider 3"men wh" want t" g""$t and die after they)ve had me. %nd living "n gin and -em#$tal, and4

he !"ntr"ller interr$'ts her. (Y"$)ve always lived "n gin and -em#$tal.+( hat)s n"t the '"int.+( " what is*+(I never kn"w if my destinati"n is a w"m# "r a t"m#.+(Y"$)re 6$st tired.+(I)m tired in tw" h$ndred different realties.+

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2/23

8.25.2009Part 97

In which Marilyn, heavily disg$ised, disg$sted with the stat$s $", fleeing the i"nysian anarchy, andcarrying her "wn hat, als" leaves the #$ilding.

5.2:.2009Part ::9

In which Marilyn finds herself ca$ght #etween a r"ck and hard 'lace, "r, t" #e m"re 'recise, an "ld;sch""lgl"ved heavy and "ne "f the milli"n incarnati"ns "f


3/23

5.08.2009Part :0 k

In which Marilyn, in a rare $iet m"ment, reflects "n all that has #een l"st and the little that has #een gainedin the a#s$rd and endless c"nflict #etween %'"ll"nians and i"nysian, and h"w she had never wanted t" #einv"lved in the first 'lace. 3ith a grim and weary smile, she w"nders h"w l"ng she can c"nfr"nt the frayand the m"$ntain "f 'r"#lems that are n"ne "f her making, and still "'erate in the fragmented dis"rientati"n"f a n"n;linear m$ltiverse, with its "wdy dr"'s and w"rmh"les, its glittering n"things and t"wering greenMartians, its clear and c"nstant dangers, its an"malies and 'arad"&es, its l"st tri#es and e&tinct s'ecies, itsstrings and c"m'le& mem#ranes, idi"t a$th"rities and a#sence "f "rgasm, and its vast $adrants "f damaged=arth realities, all 'l$nging t" the rand"m and insect"id "#livi"n "f the -ineteen 3ays. Marilyn sighsdee'ly. 3hy d"es she even have t" kn"w a#"$t all this* 3hy is she even aware "f the -ineteen 3ays* hereaches f"r the -em#$tal.

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4/23

:.27.2009Part 2 >5

In which, f"r s"me days, Marilyn has #een f"ll"wed everywhere #y the wh"lly inane and ann"yingly #$tch

drag; $een ?ane @$ssell re'licant, wh" n"t "nly sh"ws "ff her legs and wears identical cl"thing t" Marilyn, #$t insists "n l""king at herself in a small mirr"r at a''r"&imate three min$te intervals. Marilyn firstthe"riAed that the re'licant was s"me kind "f infiltrated %'"ll"nian 'sy"'s device, #$t this was re6ected "$t"f hand #y i"nysian Intelligence. %n "&y;m"r"n, Marilyn th"$ght, if every there was "ne.C heyinf"rmed her that the @$ssell was a m"del 20, #ack;$' g$ardian, and that Marilyn was l$cky t" have s$chsing$lar 'ers"nal 'r"tecti"n. @ealiAing that she has n" immediate way "f ridding herself "f the $nwelc"me

'resence, she t$rns her #ack "n the thing and drinks a !"ke.

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5/23

:.0:.2009Part #f#:D:9

In which Marilyn finds herself sitting #eside the Big Eat Bastard. he Big Eat Bastard hasthe girth "f ai"nysian, #$t is really s"mething else. he Big Eat Bastard reaches f"r Marilyn)s knee, and she attem'ts t"

halt him with a withering l""k, #$t she kn"ws the Big Eat Bastard is n"t s" easily st"''ed. he Big EatBastard has the a#ility t" affect minds. he Big Eat Bastard is a#le t" make "thers think in sh"rter andsh"rter sentences. =ven a Bl"nde


6/23

>.2:.2009Part 8

In which Marilyn finds herself a''rehended and s$#6ect t" interr"gati"n. 3ishing a little


7/23

>. 7.2009Part 2 >:

In which Marilyn finds herself #"th "$traged and distressed. 3ith"$t the slightest hint "f what might #ec"ming "r any s$ggesti"n "f transiti"n, she materialiAes seated "n a #ed in a less;than;l$&$ry h"tel r""m,ne&t t" a cy#"rg, drag; $een re'licant "f ?ane @$ssell. he envir"nment is, "f c"$rse, t"tal ill$si"n, and shehas n" d"$#t that this is the w"rk "f the liAard th$gees fr"m Feta @etic$li, #$t she als" has n" cl$e h"w t"reverse the 'r"cess and get the hell "$t "f there. It wasn)t #y any means the first time that she had #eena#d$cted #y aliens, #$t the liAard th$gees, wh" $s$ally liked t" gl"at fr"m #ehind the rectal 'r"#e, areref$sing t" sh"w themselves, and that is m$ch m"re dist$r#ing.

>.02.2009Part 0 00 00

In which Marilyn, e&'ansive and g"rge"$s, e&citedly leads the cele#rati"ns. anta !lara has fallen, thearm"red train is derailed, the British "m"se&$al in the #$rn""se and white r"#es takes n" 'ris"ners,F"m#ie Bankers have 'acked their g"ld and $rani$m and taken it "n the lam. he M$gw$m's scatter inc"nf$si"n. %'"ll"nians '$t d"wn their wea'"ns and s$rrender in their th"$sands. rinks are "n the h"$se

and vict"ri"$s i"nysians are as dr$nk as sk$nks in twenty dimensi"ns. he files "f the ecret P"lice are #$rning. he Men In ats have g"ne with the wind. Princess %$ra has #een arrested and will #e tried #y hePe"'le)s !"$rts. Birds sing. !ats dance. "gs have their day. B$t Marilyn is well aware that, in the realitystreams "f the m$ltiverse, it "nly takes "ne inadvertently st"m'ed #$tterfly t" change everything.

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8/23

2.25.2009Part l"tr09

In which Marilyn learns that m"tivating an =nt is easier said that d"ne. he i"nysian igh !"mmand had

decided in its dr$nken wisd"m that the =nt in $esti"n was cr$cial t" the assa$lt "n the %'"ll"nianf"rtresses, #$t n" "ne s" m$ch as knew it)s name, let al"ne h"w t" enlist its aide, #eca$se the =nt in $esti"nhadn)t s'"ken in seventy;three years. Marilyn had #een dis'atched #y her handlers t" m"tivate the tree;creat$re with her g"ddess wiles, #$t she had her d"$#ts. Pressing herself with t"tal a#and"n against ther"$gh, $nyielding "$ter #ark, she felt n" res'"nse, and was at a l"ss t" kn"w if she and the =nt were in anyway #i";c"m'ati#le, even "n the m"st #asic and 'edestrian level. hen, very sl"wly, s"mething m"vedinside the =nt, and, r$m#ling l"w, fr"m s"mewhere dee' in its c"re, came what s"$nded like a creakingsigh. ( aaar"""mmmG+

D

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9/23

2.0D.2009P%@ t&997

In which Marilyn #""sts the am'erage "f her wide;eyed, inn"cent, attentive charm t" its highest and m"stdece'tive level. $ch #ehavi"r was always e&'ected "f fr"m the Incredi#ly P"werf$l Man 3h" -ever!ared "


10/23

.25.2009P%@ 999

In which Marilyn realiAes that the M"lemen have infiltrated the 'arty. he is n"t f""led #y their 'l"y "fdisg$ising themselves in chea' wigs, stri'ed s$its and glasses. he is well aware that, while claimingne$trality, the M"lemen rarely visit the s$rface with anything "ther than malign intent, and have t"" m$ch in

c"mm"n with the !. . . .s. " av"id an incident, h"wever, Marilyn agrees t" dance with "ne wh" claimshis name is r$man, #$t wh" she rec"gniAes as #eing, #eneath the disg$ise, the n"t"ri"$s !avern Masterll$#eely& "f the


11/23

. 9.2009P%@ :0D

In which Marilyn checks int" the 1eader "tel. er 'lan is t" take a sh"wer, swall"w a handf$l "f -em#$tal, chase them with a c"$'le "f martinis, and then re'eat as needed. If her l$ck h"lds, she sh"$ld #ea#le t" slee' f"r a week and let the Inter;dimensi"nal


12/23

P%@ A90

In which Marilyn is c"nfr"nted #y an $ntena#le sit$ati"n #$t decides t" make the #est "f it. he @e'tileings "f Lank$ had, with a #$rst "f their all t"" fre $ent ca'acity f"r increasing the diffic$lty "f already

diffic$lt sit$ati"ns, insisted that n"t "nly did Marilyn wear the tr$ly a#s$rd s$'er;her"ine c"st$me f"r the$'c"ming missi"n against the Brain =aters, #$t that the wh"lly inc"ngr$"$s garment sh"$ld #e initiated and

energiAed in a rit$al cerem"ny t" #e 'erf"rmed in fr"nt the Lank$ I;!"r's, wh", as far as Marilyn wasc"ncerned, resem#led n"thing m"re than a scaly cr"wd "f #elly;slithering, illiterate s"ci"'aths, seeminglyhigh "n chea' energy;enhancing chemical 'r"d$cts. %s if this wasn)t #ad en"$gh, she had "nly disc"veredthat the acc$rsed "$tfit was t"'less 6$st min$tes #ef"re the start "f the festivities at which she had clearly

#een 'r"mised as the star attracti"n. nder m"re n"rmal circ$mstances, she w"$ld have d$g in her heels andref$sed t" g" any f$rther with the charade. he @e'tile ings "f Lank$ were, h"wever, a cr$cial K if lessthan relia#le K segment "f he


13/23

P%@ 2 >

Marilyn sits 'ensive and disc"ntented. ( hey send me "n all these wretched advent$res #$t d" they reallygive a damn a#"$t me*+ he reflects $'"n h"w $ntena#le her r"le in the m$ltiverse has #ec"me, and h"wweary she is with the ceaselessly shifting set $' and the irrati"nality "f the @and"m Eli's. he grimly f$mes

at the n"nsensical "rders fr"m the :th Internati"nal, and the c"nstant reminders, transmitted #y 6ack#""tedch"r$s #"ys at imereich 7 Macr", "f the a'"caly'tic c"nse $ences "f an accidental meeting with any "fthe infinite n$m#er "f her -"rma ?ean /aria#les. %nd if that wasn)t #ad en"$gh, she finds herself in the

'er'et$al vice #etween the t"";certain, 6$dgmental, g"ddess;hating %'"ll"l"nians t" the right "f her, and thet"";h"rny, dr$nken, trigger;ha''y i"nysian t" the left. Meanwhile the middle gr"$nd 6$st s $irms like aslimy cl"ne vat with the likes "f he ns'eaka#le Fer" Br"thers, %rch#ish"' M"riarty and his iam"nd

"gs, 'l$s all the #enighted hick;dem"ns wh" are t"" st$'id t" rec"gniAe they re l"cked in the re'eatingde'ressi"n killer;cycles "f a ell"gg @ift. %nd, finally, fl"ating "ver everything, are the tedi"$s g"ddamnedaliens, with their anal 'r"#es, their tem'"ral cali#rat"rs, and their deathrays. Marilyn sighs dee'ly. ( "wl"ng t" they seri"$sly e&'ect me t" kee' "n d"ing this*+

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14/23

P%@ D

In which Marilyn, w"rking as a fifth c"l$mnist f"r the %l#ert "ffman Brigade "f the i"nysian @ed1egi"n, infiltrates the !%P!NM #ase "f the g"vernment tr""'s with the intenti"n "f $sing her g"ddesswiles f"r s$#vert the rank and file gr$nts, and sa''ing their will t" fight #ef"re the inevita#le #attle when there#els c"me d"wn fr"m the m"$ntains. he e&'eriences a m"ment "f 'anic, h"wever, when the sergeantwra's the silk scarf ar"$nd her neck. !"$ld he #e a h$gee;trained strangler "f ali* B$t n". e has n" idea"f her tr$e identity "r missi"n. e)s 6$st trying t" #$y her g""d will with gifts. -e&t thing, he)ll #e "fferingher cigarettes, ch"c"late, and nyl"ns. he kn"ws she will easily #end him t" her will. asta la vict"riasiem're.

P%@ 97

In which Marilyn attem'ts t" make c"nversati"n with the "ther g$ests at the #an $et f"r assem#ledsentients. (3hat have they d"ne t" the =arth*+ he asks. (3hat have they d"ne t" "$r fair sister* @avagedand 'l$ndered, and ri''ed her, and #it her, st$ck her with knives in the side "f the dawn, and tied her withfences, and dragged her d"wn. I hear a very gentle s"$nd, with y"$r ear d"wn t" the gr"$nd. 3e want thew"rld and we want it...+ he 'a$ses and fr"wns. "mething is very wr"ng. (Nh dear. hat)s n"t me. I)m

channeling ?im M"rris"n. 3e m$st have had an ic"n"gra'hic '"etry dist"rt.+ he attem'ts t" dismiss theglitch with a #right disarming smile. (%t least we)re still s'eaking =nglish4aren)t we*+

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15/23

P%@ 777

In which Marilyn c"nfr"nts the Inner !ircle "f the ecret 1egi"n. he '"siti"ns herself with her #ack t" thefire'lace, and with a 'ict$re "f the "wager =m'ress at her el#"w. 'eaking nerv"$sly at first, #$t with

increasing a$th"rity, she makes her demands. (Y"$ have left me with"$t any f"rm "f l"gistic s$''"rt. I have

n" s$''lies, n" f""d "r amm$niti"n, n" re'lacements, n" gas"line f"r my tanks, and c"mm$nicati"nsc"nstantly fail. My tem'"ral grinders are d"wn t" their n$#s, I #arely have en"$gh f$si"n '"wer t" reach theend "f the e'is"de, the @eality


16/23

P%@ =@B7 0

In which Marilyn ta's her 'erfect teeth im'atiently. he is an&i"$s, alth"$gh trying t" maintain a calmdemean"r in fr"nt "f the


17/23

P%@ EI/=;N

In which Marilyn, stranded #y the t"tal inefficiency "f P"st;%'"caly'se %irlines and missing her sh"es,finds herself c"nfined in the #ackr""m "f the a''y k$ll !asin" and @"adh"$se, g$arded #y tw" veryst$'id de'$ty sheriffs fr"m Parsec 9>:7:9:7>DJ3 K als" kn"w as the =&ce'ti"nally $m# imensi"n Kthat has an ec"n"my #ased "n im'la$si#ly fi&ed gam#ling and ancient '"rk, and a '"litical str$ct$re "fd"wn;h"me, #eer;dr$nk fascism. n"wing this is n"t a ha''y sit$ati"n, and these hick c"'s are wh"lly$naware "f her


18/23

P%@ 2>L!

In which Marilyn, after #eing tedi"$sly tra''ed "n either side #y the 3ell


19/23

P%@ 009

In which Marilyn, after tw" martinis and three -em#$tal have ca$sed a m"mentary la'se "f her n"rmalvigilance, and l$lled her int" #elieving herself safe in transient s$#;reality, is taken #y s$r'rise #y "ne "f the

weed =lite "f the =vil Men in ats. 3ith his hands ar"$nd her thr"at, she screams des'erately. B$t, asevery#"dy kn"ws, in transient s$#;reality n" "ne can hear y"$ scream. Nh n"G !an this the end "f Marilyn*

P%@ 999

In which Marilyn, emerging instr$ment;#lind. and with arms #ared, fr"m the -$ll /"id "f Llnwr, afterc"m'leting the !hallenge "f "rmand$, finds herself in a heavily dist"rted, #lind;alley time variati"n inwhich %maA"n reen ref$gees fr"m the Mek"nta '$rges sh""t F"ms f"r s'"rt fr"m magn";"rnith"'ters, andwhere the "nly s$#sistence ind$stry is the mass 'r"d$cti"n "f '"rn"gra'hic garden gn"mes, and the s"lemeans "f mass c"mm$nicati"n are r$m'led and f"lded c"'ies "f he "llyw""d @e'"rter in which thenews is always #ad. hen a crescent f"rmati"n "f %damski discs, '"ssi#ly $nder the c"mmand "f the readL'#c wA'$c, a''ear "verhead. (O$ick Marilyn,+ cry the ree 3enches, (l""k $' #ef"re it)s t"" lateG+

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20/23

P%@ c; ;22

In which Marilyn, alth"$gh kn"w f"r her $n'$nct$ality, lives t" advent$re yet an"ther;day. @am';am'ingher s$'er;wiles in the @""m;3ith;!he $ered;3all'a'er, she easily distracts and "ver'"wers a slack;faced

B"#; "##s sim$lacra, sent #y the Pink B"ys t" restrain her fr"m serving the inverte#rate;satisfacti"n "f Mr.$id. he sim$lacra f""lishly #etrays himself #y leaving his dark;hat in 'lain;sight "n the sm""th;c"$ch.%nd als" neglecting t" #ring his #riar;'i'e. 3hat him w"rry* he rare;a'hides all cry, (@et$rn t" the time;stream.+ %nd Marilyn "#liges as they knew she w"$ld.

P%@ 9:

In which Marilyn is left m"mentarily with"$t f$ncti"nal shields and #lind;minded in the hy'erdyne #ackwash "f "verdrive. In that e&'"sed instant she is ca't$red #y the atra' "f -ew Pangaea and held in ac"nfinement ca's$le rigged t" resem#le the #ack "f a circa mid; 950s !"$'e e /ille. "sed with al'harays and #eta;rhythm #ar#it$rate s$rr"gates, she is 'resented with the Nmega !andle $nder the false g$isethat it is her #irthday. Marilyn is t"" hammered t" kn"w that, if the Nmega !andle is e&ting$ished, "neh$ndred and f"rty seven th"$sand c"ngr$ent realities are e&ting$ished right al"ng with it, 'l$s the lives "fincalc$la#le $adrilli"ns "f sentient entities. he ne$r"n sna''ers $rge her t" #l"w it "$t. It is theirmissi"n.(Bl"w, MarilynG Bl"wG ((Bl"w, MarilynG Bl"wG (B$t a sliver "f Marilyn)s reality reasserts itself.

( his d"esn)t $ite seem right. here is a disr$'ti"n in he E"rce.+(Bl"w, MarilynG Bl"wG ((Bl"w,MarilynG Bl"wG ((I d"n)t kn"w4+B$t, $nder immense 'ress$re, she '$ts her li's t"gether anyway4!an the Erench "m"se&$al and the i"nysian M"# arrive in time t" avert disaster*C

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21/23

P%@ >%

In which Marilyn K aware "f the threat '"sed t" all sentient life f"r at least a h$ndred 'arsecs in any directi"n #ythe c"m#ined f"rces "f he %m"r'h"$s Blight, %Aath"th >, Eat Men in ats, and the %laskan =nergy rain Kenlists in !"r's "f the Pe"'le)s %rmy "f the E"$rteenth Internati"nal and v"l$nteers f"r agent training. B$t

when e&'ected t" lift weights, right "$tside the ""rs "f Perce'ti"n, she is less than ha''y. (%ll I need t" learn isa few sim'le techni $es like the !"nfig$rati"n "f Yian s" I can create the eslaJ Y$gg"th Particle Beam. I)mMarilyn. I kinda kn"w the rest.+ " which the rill Instr$ct"r, wh" is c"nfig$red t" l""k like =rnest B"rgnine,res'"nds that she needs t" c"m'lete the sim'le essentials #ef"re she m"ves "n t" c"m#at meta'hysics. e hadsmiled $n'leasantly. ( hat)s why they call it #asic training .+

P%@ 7

In which a heavily cl"aked $nderc"ver assassin attem'ts t" cli' Marilyn with e&treme 're6$dice in the "r#itingcafeteria. B$t Marilyn rec"gniAes him as a killer trained in the disci'lines "f the Magn$m Inn"minand$m "f theYell"w ign, m"st likely detached fr"m the inner cadres "f the %m"r'h"$s Blight #y Nrder "f -yarlath"te', "n ac"ntract kill f"r the aem"n; $ltan %Aath"th >. -"rmally s$ch fa$&;nin6a were 'inkish things, a#"$t five feettall, with cr$stace"$s #"dies, mem#rane wings, and elli's"id heads c"vered with m$ltit$des "f sh"rt antennae,

#$t this "ne had #een rendered wh"lly h$man and, in fact, at first glance, l""ked a l"t like the y"$ng @ichard3idmark 'laying "mmy d" in the 9:7 m"vie iss Nf eath. irected #y enry athaway.C Marilyn w"$ldhave 'r"#a#ly made the assassin f"r what he was when he attem'ted the first im'la$si#le lis'. (Y"$ kn"w what Id" t" s $ealers* I let em have it in the #elly, s" they can r"ll ar"$nd f"r a l"ng time thinkin it "ver.+ B$t Marilyn

had the 1"vecraft n;Mask I/, disg$ised as a einA etch$' #"ttle, that gave her s$ch early warning "f thethreat that she was ready f"r the killer, and even c"$ld smile kn"wingly as she e&tended her fingers in the!"nfig$rati"n "f Yian t" create the thwarting and very fatal eslaJY$gg"th e 1$&e Particle Beam, that w"$ldt"tally dis'atch the evil assailant.

2

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22/23

P%@ 9

In which Marilyn, finds herself with"$t air c"ver "r infantry s$''"rt, and c$t "ff fr"m the Pe"'le)s %rmy "fthe E"$rteenth Internati"nal. he m"ves swiftly #ack $' the timestream t" ='is"de -ine. sing thedisg$ised Blasc" 1adder, and sim$ltane"$sly em'l"ying the hidden '"wer "f the !alendar "f Lve&$laca'athe $n ammer, she calc$lates that the secret "f life, the $niverse, and everything is n"t :2 after all #$t in

fact >0G B$t she kee's smiling, and wears her gl"ves. he Eat Men in ats are cl"sing in "n criticalvect"rs.C

P%@ 2>

In which Marilyn K finally a#and"ned #y ;!"r's, and with "nly -em#$tal t" defend herself K has n"ch"ice. %s Yancey lide 'revi"$sly advised, she $ickly re'licates as the attack shi's "f Feta @etic$li war'fr"m "r#it int" her ne$ral s$#s'ace.

22

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23/23

P%@ 7

In which Marilyn, acc"m'anied #y the Erench h"m"se&$al, 'eers int" the s$#way t$nnel seeking the ing"f he 1iAardmen fr"m the "ll"w =arth.

his sh"$ld #e a #""k.
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Mick Farren the Mick Farren THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYNAdventures of Marilyn

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