Michigan Housing Directors Association Winter Conference · • With an Action Learning Group of...

Michigan Housing Directors Association

Winter Conference

February 2019

Beth Steiger

1 Copyright © 2019 Beth Steiger

Introduction to Communication Skills (30 mins)

Teamwork Activity – Three Islands (1 hr)

Break (15 mins)

Listening Skills & Managing Conflict (1 hr 15 mins)

Lunch (1 hr 30 mins)

Thinking Style Preferences (1 hr 15 mins)

Break (15 mins)

Communication Roles & Barriers (1 hr)

Wrap-up (30 mins)

Adjourn

Course Overview

9:00 a.m.

9:30 a.m.

10:30 a.m.

10:45 a.m.

12:00 p.m.

1:30 p.m.

2:45 p.m.

3:00 p.m.

4:00 p.m.

4:30 p.m.


Session Objectives

Following the completion of this learning session, you will

be able to:

Identify personal strengths and areas for development in

communication skills.

Build teamwork skills through active learning to improve

communications.

Identify your communication style preferences and develop

skills improve communication with others.

Apply improved communication skills to a variety of

circumstances and environments.

Describe the fundamental barriers to effective

communication and strategies or overcome them.


Communication in Organizations

• Complete personal self assessment on communication goals

• Keep to reflect back on at the end of the day.

Action Learning 1 – Communication Self Assessment

5 minutes


Why Communication?

Why is it important to invest in the improvement of

communication?

I hadn’t learned yet what I know now –

that communication is everything.

Lee Iacocca


Why Communication?

Why is it important to invest in the improvement of

communication?

The more elaborate our means of

communication, the less we

communicate.

Joseph Priestley


What is Communication?


One Way to View Communication…


Another Way to View Communication…


A More Complete Way to View Communication…


Relative Impacts of Channels of Communication

Visual

55%

Verbal

7%

Vocal

38%

- from research of Albert Mehrabian, Silent Messages


What is Communication?

A process of sharing meaning…


Two Fundamental Rules of Communication

1) You cannot not communicate

2) Communication is a “chicken-and-egg”

process


Communication in Organizations

• With an Action Learning partner, review each item on the

Communication Fact or Fallacy worksheet.

• If you believe the statement to be true, discuss why.

• If you believe the statement to be false, discuss why not.

• Be prepared to discuss your ideas with all of us.

Action Learning 2 – A True-False Exercise

5 minutes


Communication in Organizations – Fact or Fallacy?

Meanings are in words.



Communication will solve

all our problems.



Telling is communicating.



Communication is a good thing.



The more communication the better.



Communication can break down.



Communication is a natural ability.


Three Islands Team Activity

Guidelines:

1. There are 3 separate groups

participating in this activity.

2. You have already been separated

into a group as indicated by a

shape/color on your name tag. 60 minutes


What observations did you make in

regards to the good and bad that

happened during the activity?

What enabled success?

What created barriers?

How did this activity parallel the real

world of public housing?

Three Islands - Reflection

Action Learning 3


Team Effectiveness Model

Goals Roles

Processes

Relationships


Shared Goals

• Do we understand the challenges and

opportunities of the work/project?

• Is the purpose of the team well defined within

the context of the overall project?

• Are individual members aligned with the

purpose of the team?

• Have we set specific, measurable end results

for the team?

What is our purpose?


Clear Roles & Responsibilities

• Have we identified individual accountabilities

for each member of the team?

• Does each person on the team understand

what others expect from them?

• Have we clarified the role of leader and other

technical experts?

• Do we know how we will deal with change in

membership?

What do we expect from each other?


Established Systems & Procedures

• Have we defined the type and frequency of

communication needed to be successful?

• Are our meetings a good use of everyone’s time?

• Have we adopted techniques & tools to make

decisions, track progress and evaluate

effectiveness?

• Are we able to make productive use of conflict and

differences?

How will we operate?


Effective Relationships

• Do team members know each other well enough

to be comfortable?

• Is interpersonal communication with the group

effective?

• Is there balanced participation from all members?

• Have we established feedback expectations and

identified needs?

• How we will celebrate success?

How can we optimize synergy?


What is my commitment to the team?

• Do individuals feel a personal commitment to

make the team effective?

• Are we demonstrating support for each other

and the team?

• Do we visibly recognize the contributions of

others?

• Have we identified the development needs of

the team and each other?

Individual Contribution


BREAK


Listening

Listening is a ____________ decision

- fill in the blank


Barriers to Effective Listening

Why are we often poor listeners?

• Talking too much

• Pseudo-listening

• Selective listening

• Self-fulfilling prophecies

• Self-focused


Why Are You Listening?

You may be listening for:

1) Content

2) Emotion

3) Need


Active Listening

Active Listening is an

interactive process

that leads to deep

understanding


The Three Skills of Active Listening

1) Posing questions

2) Reflecting

3) Waiting

- Probing

- Prodding

- Paraphrasing

- Summarizing

- Being silent


Active Listening

• With an Action Learning Group of three, assign roles of

Sender, Receiver, and Observer.

• Sender should select a decision he/she has to make in the

near future (one with multiple options) and discuss it with the

Receiver.

• The Receiver should practice Active Listening skills, without

giving advice or trying to solve the Sender’s problem.

• Observer should take notes on the effectiveness of the Active

Listening.

Action Learning 4 – Active Listening Practice

5 minutes per rotation


What are our Typical Group Communication Patterns?

Think of a normal business meeting situation you

face on a frequent basis:

- problem solving meetings

- decision making meetings

- status meetings

What words would you use to describe the

communication that takes place in these meetings?

DISCUSSION


Aspects of Discussion

• Evaluative

• A process of telling

• Justification of a position as “right”

• Hearing individual points of view to determine

the best one

• Action

• Solving or fixing

• Persuasion

• Examining separate parts


What is Dialogue?

Dialogue is…

- “shared inquiry, a way of thinking and

reflecting together”

- “a conversation with a center, not sides”

- William Isaacs

(Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together)

It is based on an openness and cooperative awareness in

which the objective is not to present and defend opinions, but

to look at opinions in the light of integrating diverse

perspectives.


Goals of Dialogue

• Learning

• Understanding

• Synthesizing

• Exploring

• Creating

• Investigating assumptions

• “Undiscussibles” become discussible


Dialogue – How Do You Do It?

• Suspend assumptions

• Suspend judgment

• Slow down the inquiry

• Observe yourself; observe

the group

• Let ideas build upon one

another

• Befriend polarization


Open Communication and Idea Exchange

ADVOCACY INQUIRY

“the art of making quality

statements” “the art of asking quality

questions”

• sharing your knowledge

• proposing an idea

• delivering feedback

• seeking out knowledge

• soliciting ideas from others

• receiving feedback


The Art of Advocacy and Inquiry A

dvo

cac

y

“I’m explaining.”

“You’re imposing!”

“I’m interviewing.”

“You’re interrogating!”

Inq

uir

y


Advocacy and Inquiry Skills

ADVOCATE

1. State your view.

2. Provide directly observable data.

3. Give your reasoning.

4. Publicly test your assumptions.

5. Reveal where you are least clear in your reasoning.

INQUIRE

1. Invite reactions.

2. Ask others to make their view explicit.

3. Explain your reason for inquiring.

4. Check your understanding.


Effective Advocacy and Inquiry

Effective

Ineffective

Advocacy Inquiry

Explains steps in thinking

Gives specific data

Doesn’t explain thinking

Doesn’t give specific data

Seeks others’ or alternative views and counter-examples Probes views of others Encourages examination of my view

Seeks confirming views and examples Asks leading questions Doesn’t encourage examination of my view


Advocacy and Inquiry – What does it sound like?

• Work with your Action Learning Group.

• Develop examples (actual phrases) that might

demonstrate effective advocacy or effective inquiry.

• Do the same for ineffective advocacy or inquiry.

Action Learning 5 – Advocacy/Inquiry Stock Phrases

10 minutes


Balancing Advocacy and Inquiry to Manage Conflict

ADVOCACY INQUIRY

Uncovering shared meaning ...



INQUIRY


What I Want




What I Want What You Want



What I Want What You Want

Common Ground



1. Describe the conflict to develop a consolidated

statement of the core issues.

2. Identify the benefits of reaching agreement versus the

consequences of not.

3. Seek the other party’s position (Inquire).

4. Give your point of view (Advocate).

5. Brainstorm ways everyone’s needs can be met.

6. Choose one alternative as a tentative solution.

7. Decide how each party will know if the solution is

working.


When at an Impasse…

Focus on the data

Look for information that will help

people move forward

Consider each person’s mental

model as a piece of the larger

puzzle

Don’t settle for ‘agreeing to

disagree’

“What do we know for a fact?” or “What

don’t we know?”

“What do we agree upon?”

“Are we starting from two very different

assumptions? Where do they come

from?”

“I don’t understand the assumptions

underlying our disagreement”

What to Do What to Say


LUNCH


The Impact of Thinking Preferences

There are many ways to look at the diversity

of individuals’ preferences

and the impact of these preferences on communication.

One way: Thinking Style Preferences


The Impact of Thinking Preferences

Thinking Style Preferences

What we pay attention to

What / How we learn

What engages us

How we communicate

How we do business

What we are successful at


Brain Dominance

Brain Dominance

Preferences that

influence thinking style



• Complete the Interaction Style questionnaire and score your

results.

Action Learning 6 – Interaction Style Assessment

15 minutes individual


Management Style Dimensions

• Four Different & Distinct Styles

• Your behavior is predictable to

your style

• Population equally divides into

about 25% for each style

• Understanding other styles

allows you to ‘flex’ your

communication techniques

Relater Expresser

Director Analyzer


Action-Orientation Dimension

This is a continuum - many people fall some where in between

Inquire Advocate

Do you TELL? Do you ASK?


Emotion-Orientation Dimension

This is a continuum - many people fall some where in between

Emotive

Reserved

Do you show

Emotion?

Do you

conceal

emotion?


Relater

• Perceived as calm, unruffled and

easy to approach.

• Keenly involved in what others say

and do.

• Typically good listeners, able to

delve deeply into what others say.

• Feel it is import to deliver high-

quality products.

• Their slower approach may be

mistaken for lack of interest or lack

of sense of urgency.

• Can be perceived as lacking strong

opinions as they are not among the

first to speak in a group.

Relater Calm

Approachable

Supportive

Loyal

Empathic

Sharing

Focus on team

Good Listeners

Emotive

Reserved

Advocate

Inquire


Expresser

• Perceived as hopeful, fun to be

with, enthusiastic and playful.

• Want recognition and their

emotional highs and lows are

shaped as from this recognition.

• Receptive to change, initiate and

motivate others with their charm.

• Quick decision-makers.

• Dislike routine, a slow pace, and

needless details

• Strong project initiators, but may fall

short in completing the necessary

details.

• Tend to trust people quickly.

Creative

Enthusiastic

Humorous

Playful

Receptive to change

Focus on vision not details

Initiators

Emotive

Reserved

Advocate

Inquire

Expresser


Analyzer

• Perceived as reasonable, formal,

and task oriented.

• Attention to detail and

thoroughness are important.

• Objective and systematic.

• Like to control their tasks and work

hard to avoid any mistakes.

• Seen as cautious in decision-

making because they desire all the

information before they make any

decision.

• Can be seen as shy individuals who

hesitate to speak their mind.

Reasonable

Precise

Thorough

Rational

Controlled

Formal

Task Oriented

Emotive

Reserved

Advocate

Inquire

Analyzer


Director

• Perceived as people who take

charge and get the job done.

• Results are crucial to them and

that’s what they focus on. Can be

demanding in their drive for results.

• Tend to think independently and

know what needs to be done

• Systematic organization or work

help to achieve the quantity and

quality of results.

• Appreciate a stimulating problem to

use logical analysis.

• Seen as self-confident and

determine. Can be perceived that

results are only thing that matters.

Director

Emotive

Reserved

Advocate

Inquire

Decisive

Take charge

Candid

Efficient

Results-Oriented

Pragmatic


Style Flexing – Developing skills to ease

communication across quadrants

1

3

2 4

Knowing your co-

worker’s style can

help you adjust your

behavior to match

their preferred style

and ultimately improve

communication

productivity!



• Move to a corner of the room with others having the strongest

quadrant preference as you.

• As an Action Learning Group, discuss the following question,

being prepared to present the results of your discussion to the rest

of us:

- What are the things you’d want people to consider when

working and communicating with someone with strong

preferences in the three other different quadrants?

- What is your group’s ideal car?

Action Learning 7 – Quadrant Groupings

30 minutes



• Develop a plan for what to say to the other three thinking style

groups based on their communication preferences for the

following scenarios:

– Deliver bad news

– Persuade them to buy something

– Resolve a conflict between two co-workers – one with your thinking style

preference and one from each of the other 3 types

Action Learning 8 – Working with Others in Action

30 minutes


BREAK


Diverse Influencers

Our Frames of Reference

What are the things that influence “who we are” as communicators?


Frames of Reference

• Work with an Action Learning Group at a flipchart to

draw a frame of reference, labeled with as many

specific categories that might be influencing

someone as a communicator.

• Then work individually to complete a frame, labeled

with specific contributors to your communication

frame of reference.

Action Learning 9 – What are the Frames?

10 minutes with Group

5 minutes individual


Communication Roles

Communication Roles – the “hats we wear” when

communicating

Brainstorm a list of the various roles we take on during

communication…

What are some dysfunctional communication roles you have

observed (or exhibited)?

What roles are you most comfortable taking on and why?


Communication Roles

Roles that enhance communication:

Process Roles

- Facilitator

- Harmonizer

- Encourager

- Tension Reliever

Task Roles

- Proposer

- Summarizer

- Devil’s Advocate

- Clarifyer

- Information Seeker


Communication Roles

• We will experience a group discussion on a topic

selected by the group.

• Communication role cards will be handed out randomly

to some participants. (Some may be dysfunctional

roles!)

• Your task is to participate in the discussion while

attempting to fulfill the communication role on your

card.

Action Learning 10 – Practicing the Roles

10 minute discussion


Communication Roles

Why is it important to the effectiveness of

the communication process to be aware of

communication roles?

What can we do to enhance

communication through this awareness?


Barriers of Interpersonal Communication

What happens “behind the scenes”


Roger and Elaine Activity

“Do you realize that, as of tonight,

we’ve been seeing each other

for exactly six months?”


Roger and Elaine

Elaine: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing

each other for exactly six months?” … “Roger..”

Roger: “What?”

Elaine: “Please don’t torture yourself like this. Maybe I should

never have .. Oh God, I feel so…”

Roger: “What?”

Elaine: “I’m such a fool. I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really

know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no

horse.”

Roger: “There’s no horse?”

Elaine: “You think I’m a fool, don’t you?”


Roger and Elaine

Roger: “No.”

Elaine: “It’s just that .. It’s that I .. I need some time.”

Roger: “Yes.”

Elaine: “Oh, Roger. Do you really feel that way?”

Roger: “What way?”

Elaine: “That way about time.”

Roger: “Oh. Yes.”

Elaine: “Thank you, Roger.”

Roger: “Thank you.”


Roger and Elaine

Huh??


Left Hand Column / Right Hand Column

Left Hand Column Right Hand Column

What was

said...

What I was

thinking,

but did not say...



Why do we stay in the Right Hand Column?

Why is it important to know the difference between what

we are thinking and what we are saying?

How can we constructively reveal and share what’s in

the Left Hand Column? (When do we not want to?)




That’s very interesting. I disagree.

We have an opportunity. You have a problem.

“Management Speak” The Translation

You obviously put a lot of

work into this.

This is awful.




Help me to understand… I don’t know what you’re

talking about, and I don’t

think you do either.

I’d like your buy-in on

this.

I want someone else to

blame when this thing

bombs.

“Management Speak” The Translation


Ladder of Inference

ACTION

Pool of Data and Experiences


Ladder of Inference

ACTION



Ladder of Inference


Select Data


Ladder of Inference


Select Data

Add Meaning


Ladder of Inference


Select Data

Add Meaning

Make Assumptions


Ladder of Inference


Select Data

Add Meaning

Make Assumptions

Draw Conclusions


Ladder of Inference


Select Data

Add Meaning

Make Assumptions

Draw Conclusions

Adopt Beliefs


Ladder of Inference

ACTION


Select Data

Add Meaning

Make Assumptions

Draw Conclusions

Adopt Beliefs


Ladder of Inference


Select Data

Add Meaning

Make Assumptions

Draw Conclusions

Adopt Beliefs

ACTION


The Competency Ladder

Unconscious Incompetence

Conscious Incompetence

Conscious Competence

Unconscious Competence


Developing Competency Through

Learning and Growth

Discover

Act Reflect


Session Wrap-Up

• Return to personal self assessment on communication goals

completed at the beginning of the course.

• Reflect back on your evaluation and your growth throughout

the day.

• What will you take away from this course? How can you apply

it to your workplace?

10 minutes

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