August, 2017

Mermaid Beach Bowls Club

Email: admin@mermaidbowls.com.au

Telephone 55723463

John Henderson Real Estate

Mermaid Beach

SPONSORS

Pacific Fair

Firstly I would like to thank eve-

ryone for your messages of con-

cern whilst I have been so sick.

To give you all some updates of

what we have been doing behind

the scenes:

Our annual insurance fell due so

we decided to gain other quotes to

make sure we obtained the best

for our club.

As you could all imagine the costs

for insurance keeps rising like

everything else in our own day to

day lives. Each insurance Company that we had quote had suggest-

ed that we are under insured for the building and contents. In the

case that we did have a major disaster we would only get paid the

percentage re the valuation. The board could not place our members

in this situation and now a formal valuation has been completed and

the insured some amended. After negotiations for premium costs

with Kelvin Kerkow we decided to stay with the current insurer.

The next item to strike us has been a fire audit by Qld Fire. As you

would expect we don’t comply fully so we are having to update this

area of the business straight away and yes at further costs.

We have tried our hardest to sort out the photo copier issue that was

installed in main office costing us approx. $1,000 a month. Please

be mindful when asking main office for photo copying as there is a

charge per copy in the agreement that was signed and we have to

keep a close eye on the usage.

A great night was had with Christmas in July with the club having

the Gold Coast Choir attend. Thanks to those that came along.

Thank you to everyone that helps to try and improve the club in

both management and the bowls sector. It is all greatly appreciated

Yours truly

Jeff Burchell FINANCE CHAIR

A MESSAGE FROM OUR FINANCE CHAIR

2

MEN’S PRESIDENTS REPORT

The mixed committee take a bow, great numbers on Tues-

days run very well and being supported by many visitors who

just love coming to our club. Who said there`s no money to

be made out there. Well I ask you, would bowlers not come

here spend their money on green fees, drinks and raffles if

they did not enjoy our club and our company. Great stuff keep

it going, enjoy yourselves and have some fun. Be positive,

welcoming and friendly. It works wonders.

We could not run this huge event if it were not for those who

run our bowls box. No mean feat with all the comings and go-

ings . Members do you know these people start the process at 10.30 in the mornings.

Thank you everyone for your contribution you all need a medal.

Against some predictions in pennants we are doing really well. I personally am so

proud of the eighth division new bowlers and guided beautifully by the senior boys. Is

that not our goal as selectors and players to get the teams up there for the club. The

forth division are struggling a bit with quite a few of our players either not available or

away on holidays. We are still second only down one point after suffering our first loss

last week. Be assured we will bounce back.

Thank you to all the bowlers who have supported our first attempt at a graded mixed

competition. It has been a great success and I hope has been of some help to the new

bowlers. This event was put on especially for you to get to play with some of the bet-

ter players in the club and continue your learning curve to the top. Also to the more

senior players who gave their time to play and support this event I sincerely thank you.

The club has also gained from this event so it’s a win, win for everyone.

The visiting club days are being run very well and for fear of missing a name I will not

mention names but two or three stand out. They give their time and put in a big effort

for the club. We have more coming. Next is the Bundy X Presidents and the big one

the Maccarbi Tournament . This is played over 6 Days using all club facilities includ-

ing a social night , this will be huge for the club as 70 bowlers and supporters are com-

ing.

Keep your chin up and continue to enjoy your bowls.

Cheers Bernie The Prez.

3

LADY PRESIDENT’S REPORT

On Friday I had the pleas-

ure of marking the final of

the Consistency Competi-

tion,

It was a great game be-

tween Marion McMahon

and Merlinda Gill. It was

neck and neck until close

to the end when Merlinda

went on to win.

Congratulations to both players for the great

sporting way it was played. Congratulations

Merlinda ,

Julie Geoghegan and I will be representing

Mermaid Beach at Tugun’s 50th Birthday,

Then on Thursday, we will be attending Presi-

dents at home at Robina for Dawn Forrest.

I can’t help but say how disappointing it is not

to have Friday Ladies attend Social play. Of

course we are depleted whilst Pennant is on .

Hopefully this will not always be the case.

Congratulations to our Pennant Players, I

know you are always trying hard in every

game. Friday our 5th Division got 4 points

against Southport. They played in blustery

gusty winds but they did so well. Thank you

to Pat McMahon for umpiring once again, it is

truly appreciated. Also thank you to our Man-

agers Margaret Waters and Val Burgess.

Monday the 14th of August Barbara Mathers

and myself will be attending the District Meet-

ing at Musgrave Hill.

Good health to all,

And good bowling.

Joan Powell-Menzies

Ladies President

UP AND COMING EVENTS

We are showing the Mayweather

McGregor fight on the big screen.

So come along and enjoy the show

with your friends, have a drink and a

great meal. We know you will en-

joy.

Bundaberg Past Presidents are

coming on Wednesday 16 August,

2017 at 1:00 pm.

We urgently need players to join

them on that day.

Cake Auction Tuesday 12 September at

1:00 pm.. Members can you please sup-

ply cakes on this day.

Sunday 06/08/2017—Beenleigh Mixed All Day Pairs

Sunday 06/08/2017—Beenleigh Bowls—Mixed All Day Variety Pairs

Sunday 06/08/2017—Musgrave Hill—White Lady Shield Medley

Wednesday 16/08/2017 – Any Combination Triples Bundaberg Presidents’ Day All welcome.

Sunday 20/08/2017– Beenleigh Seafood Day Open All Day Fours

Monday 21/08/2017—Musgrave Hill—Pelican Day Triples

04/09/2017—Tweed Heads Ladies Bowling Club—Spring Medley Carnival 20117

Monday 04/o9/2017 – Any Combination Pairs – 9 am

Monday 18/09/2017—Cooly Ladies Sixes

Monday 02/10/2017 – Any Combination Pairs – 9 am

Monday 02/10/2017– Beenleigh Ladies Cane Festival Fours

Friday 20/10/2017 – Ladies Springtime Fours – 9 am

Monday 06/11/2017 – Any Combination Pairs – 9 am

Monday 04/12/2017 – Any Combination Pairs – 9 am

DATES TO REMEMBER

Christmas in July—What a fun night that was with the Junior Choir singing for us and Jim

Rickard being the star of the show. Thanks to Jeff Burchill for organising the choir and to

Craig and Angie for all their great work. It really was a terrific night enjoyed by all.

Satnav A new poem by Pam Ayres

I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car.

A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you

where you are.

I have a little Satnav, I’ve had it all my life.

It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav

is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how

to drive

"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're

doing sixty five".

It tells me when to stop and start, and when

to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever, safe to

overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it

goes to green

It seems to know instinctively, just when to

intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, and all

those to the rear

And taking this into account, it specifies

my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a

device.

For when we leave and lock the car, it still

gives its advice.

It fills me up with counseling, each jour-

ney's pretty fraught.

So why don't I exchange it, and get a quiet-

er sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

makes sure I'm properly fed.

It washes all my shirts and things, and

keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, and my ten-

dency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then, I could turn

the bugger off

Don’t forget birthday Friday every

second Friday of the month. Har-

ry Schramm and Marion Oldham

celebrated their July birthdays at

the Club, which was enjoyed by

all present.

LET’S HAVE A LAUGH

WE ALL GET OLDER WTH TIME...

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fa-thers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a pun-ishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining coz I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later:

I don’t have to go to school or work.

1. I get an allowance every month.

2. I have my own pad.

3. I don’t have a curfew.

4. I have a driver’s license and my own car.

5. I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store.

6. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

7. And I don’t have acne.