Men in MentoringNew Techniques for Recruitment

Amber Troupe, Mentor MichiganKris Marshall, Winning Futures

National Mentoring SummitJanuary 25, 2013

On a blank piece of paper, list all of the words you use to describe

mentors and the phrases you use when recruiting.

Overview

• The Men in Mentoring Campaign

• Components of the Toolkit– A Complete Recruitment Message– Talking Points– Tips for specific audiences– Audio Podcasts, PDF Documents,

Training PowerPoint slides– Recruitment Business Cards

A Complete Recruitment Message

• Awareness: Making the Case• Understanding: The Role of Stories• Comfort: You Can Do It• Commitment: Let’s Be Clear About Things • Success: The Ability to Win• Closing/Making the Ask• Overcoming Objections/Concerns

• A recruitment talk is fundamentally a sales presentation – Speak as if they are already a mentor

• When you start, as a mentor (not if)

• Help men to look into their own lives – Recognize how others positively impacted

them

• Listen! Listen! Listen!– Make it a conversation

• Men need to be personally asked “Are you willing to become a mentor?”

General Considerations

• ID the best male mentors in your program. What are their characteristics/attributes?

• Education/Socio-economic (college educated, uses email)

• Demographics (match by race, 25-60 yrs old)

• Interests (likes structure, goal setting)

• Dependable/Accessible (doesn’t travel a lot, emergency meetings are “odd”, calls/emails back within one business day, submits paperwork on-time)

• “Helping” Careers/Hobbies (Health and Human services, HR, PR, Customer services, Sales, Marketing)

• Contacts of current male mentors

Target the “Right” Men

• Slideshow running beforehand with pictures of male matches

• Photos of male matches on the tables, on easels, or on handouts

• Current male mentors at group meetings to interact with guests (one at each table)

• Show a video at the beginning or end about a male match (Colin Powel mentoring video is great!)

• Have a panel of current males do Q&A with some set questions (win-win, easy to make the time if you want to, great support, etc)

Set the “Right” Tone

• Know who you are talking to customize your language

– Sports, Business Industry, Giving Audience

• Watch body language and reactions

Customize to Audience

Awareness: Making the Case

• Establishing “background knowledge”– What is mentoring?– Why is it important?– What does it have to do with me?

• Resources at your disposal:– Local, statewide, and/or national statistics– Stories

Awareness: Group Setting Example

Statewide, there are more than 3,500 children waiting to be matched with a

mentor. That may sound like an enormous problem that you cannot solve,

but you can.

This year, we need 82 men to mentor boys in our program. We already

have 50 men matched with boys who are the right fit for them.

Our boys need men who can coach them through exploring careers, setting

goals, and preparing for the world of work. As business professionals, you

have what it takes to empower a young men to reach their goals.

Awareness: Individual Setting Example

This year, we need 82 men to mentor 245 boys in our program. We already

have 50 men matched with boys who are the right fit for them. I know you

would be the right fit for three teenage boys at XXXX High School.

They need a man who can coach them through exploring careers, setting

goals, and preparing for the world of work. You are enthusiastic, positive,

and have a strong business background. You have what it takes to

empower a young men to reach their goals.

**Personalize their characteristics.

Awareness: Talking Points

• We get overwhelming responses from women to mentor – and they do a great job. However, a woman cannot teach a boy to be a man. We need your help to do that!

• Four out of every ten families are led by a single parent. That leaves a lot of children, especially boys, without someone to look up to during those critical years when they are growing up to be men

• Growing up, boys are at an impressionable stage of learning how to become men themselves, and if they do not have someone like you around, they will look to whomever else happens to be close by. For many boys, those other options are not very good.

Understanding: The Role of Stories

• Stories lay the groundwork for empathy and understanding, which is why it is important for men to hear the stories of how mentors have made a difference

• In reflecting upon their own childhood stories of growing up, men begin to recognize how their own role models made (or did not make) a difference in their lives

• In sharing stories, emphasize people outside of the home or family to show that you do not have to play the role of a father and be there everyday

• Describing a mentor as a father or grandfather may overwhelm a potential mentor and cause them undue concern about their expected role and time commitment

Understanding: The Role of Stories

• Group setting examples– Did you have a mentor or a positive male role model

growing up? How did he help you? What was he like? Imagine if you didn’t have that person. For those of you who had no one to think about, that is how our boys feel.

• Individual setting examples– Growing up, or even today, did you have any strong male

role models? Yes-tell me about him…won’t it be great to do that for a young man. No-that is exactly what is happening with our boys. They need someone like you.

• Talking points– Think about your life growing up. What men guided you?

Was it your coach, pastor, or caring teacher?– If you had not had someone to look up to, how might you

life have been different?– If our boys don’t get matched with a mentor, where do you

think they will learn life’s lessons?

Comfort: You Can Do It

• Address potential fears head-on:– Lack of skills– Lack of success

• Men need to be assured that they already possess the skills and characteristics they need to make a difference

• Men must also know that the most important quality they bring to a mentoring relationship is their own unique personality

• Utilize information that is available about the candidate to show them that they have what it takes to be a great mentor

• The very fact that they are willing to consider a mentoring relationship demonstrates readiness

Comfort: Talking Points

• As a mentor, all you give is your time, not money, gifts nor events.

• Mentoring is just doing everyday things together – it is not doing impressive things every time you meet. What seems normal to us – helping with homework, playing games, talking about college, eating lunch at a restaurant – seems extraordinary to our mentees.

• You will see when you start mentoring next month, your experience is a success. Just SHOWING UP for these kids is a powerful act. They cannot believe you do not get paid to come.

Commitment: Let’s Be Clear About Things

• Men need clarity

• Right up front they will want to know: – What do you expect of me? – How much time will this really take? – When does it end?

• Providing clear information from the start about what is being asked of them will allow men to make the right choice

• There is a need for balance– Don’t scare away potential candidates– Determine whether a prospect is serious about working

with children

Commitment: Examples• Recruitment flyer has all of the expectations (men don’t want to

“change”)

• Phone interview/call briefly covers expectations and that we require backgrounds checks, but a record does not automatically disqualify them. Results are confidential to Volunteer Coordinator and CEO

• Application has all of the expectations with sign-offs• Orientation lists all of the expectations

– Dates, times– Evaluations and trainings– Letter writing– Preparing for sessions (research, free days, etc.)– In-class activities

• Interviewer goes over the expectations

Do you see a pattern?

Success: The Ability to Win

• Perhaps the greatest fear men will confront in this process is the fear of failure

• Men need to know that mentoring is a winning proposition – both for themselves and the young men they will mentor

• It is worth noting that most men will not want to openly talk about being successful, but it is surely on the minds of candidates and needs to be gently addressed

• Paint a clear picture of success: “You are the right person, you have the right skills, you will succeed”

Success: The Ability to Win

• Success is not what you accomplish. While many youth experience increased academic and social behaviors, these results are often not immediate

• Success is being there. Someone a young person can go to when life throws them a curve ball or when there’s an occasion to celebrate

Closing: Making the Ask

• Ask candidates directly if they would like to be a mentor

• Personal, face-to-face conversations are desirable

• Be prepared to ask different questions based on the readiness of the candidate

• Provide next step options if not ready to sign on

Closing: Making the Ask

• You seem ready to be a mentor. Will you fill out an application this week?

• We really need men like you, John. When can you join our program?

• At this time, all I need is your willingness to apply.

• If you are still unsure, you can check out our program with one of our mentors or come to an orientation. There will be no pressure to sign up!

Overcoming Objections & Concerns

• If you keep hearing “no,” what should you do?

• Be prepared in advance – know what common objections are and be prepared with solutions

• Address time issues (and other objections) up front in the presentation!– If you find time to watch the basketball game,

workout, or search online for fun, it is easy to carve out just one-hour per week to mentor.

• If someone keeps making excuses, you don’t want him – don’t push it

Activity• Get into small groups with at least one male.• Each person write your name on the top of a

blank piece of paper.• One person volunteer to scribe and get all of the

“name” papers.• One person at a time gives your mentor pitch.• Each time the person says something feminine,

unclear, wishy-washy, etc. give them a signal. • Scriber, on their paper, write down their “signal”

items.

Additional Resources atwww.MentorMichigan.org

• Talking points by audience– Recruiting Younger Men– Recruiting Older Men– Women Recruiting Men– Religious Leader Recruiting Men– Recruiter to Employer– Employers Recruiting Male Employees– Mentor Recruiting Men– After the Application

Questions or Comments?

Amber TroupeMentor Michigan Director

troupea@michigan.gov

Kris MarshallPresident & CEO, Winning Futures

kris@winningfutures.org

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