Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

16
VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER Cnr High St & Tooronga Rd, Malvern, 3144 Phone: (03) 9822 9057. Fax: (03) 9822 9821 www.mattressesgalore.com.au [email protected] Mattresses Galore See Observer Trader P8 PHONE 0418 883 335 See P16 Observer Trader Turn to Observer Trader THE GREAT MUSIC OF THE ‘30s TO ‘60s Streaming through the Web PHONE: 9572 1466 goldendaysradio.com Grosvenor in Cairns Holiday Apartments Fully Self Contained 1 and 2 bedroom apartments Looking to escape the cold this winter; then head on up to Cairns - always warm! Visit www.grosvenorcairns.com.au or email [email protected] or ring 1800 629 179 ISSN 1447 4611 See Page 13 Observer Trader Turn to P21 Observer Trader www.tuckertubonline.com Phone Rudi 5784 3541 Turn To Observer Trader P3 BAYSWATER CAKE KITCHEN 693 Mountain Hwy, Bayswater 3153 www.bayswatercake.com.au All Cakes and Pastries Designed and Cooked on the Premises CELEBRATION & NOVETY CAKES PIES, PASTRIES & SAUSAGE ROLLS SANDWICH PLATTERS WEDDINGS & PARTIES CATERED FOR Tel: 9729 6904 Fax: 9720 3700 [email protected] John Parsons PROPRIETOR Office: 9720 3800 146 ARGUS ST, CHELTENHAM VIC 3192 TEL: 9585 2822 FAX: 9585 2422 Shop 5, 401 St Kilda Road Melbourne VIC 3004 pH: 9866 1284 [email protected] See our ad on P2 Observer Trader section Garden Sheds, Cubbies & Forts, Water Features Kennels, Hutches & Aviaries Water Tanks Garden Ornaments/Statues 248 Centre Dandenong Rd Cheltenham, (Opp DFO) Open 7 Days 9583 3944 www.gardenshedsgalore.com.au Garden Sheds Galore for all your garden & outdoor needs See our ad inside Garden Sheds Galore and much, much more Any Time Tree Services No Job Too Big or Small Tree Lopping, Tree Mulching Wood Splitting Fully Insured 20 Years’ Experience 0408 880 188 Observer Melbourne Observer Melbourne THE FUNNY BUSINESS Pages 13, 14 DOLLY DIAMOND ON TV Page 8 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2013 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Ph 1-800 231 311 Fx 1-800 231 312 STATE EDITION Vol 45 No 1511 SERVING VICTORIA SINCE 1969 NEWS SHOWBIZ LIFESTYLE TRAVEL FEATURES BARGAINS SPORT TOP VALUE $2 88 PAGES 95 including GST $2.95 LEST WE FORGET Able Seaman Andrew Bryce will sound the bugle at tomorrow’s ANZAC Day Dawn Service at the Shire Of Remembrance. Mark Richardson reports on Page 4. WIN TICKETS TO ‘LEGALLY BLONDE’ CROSSWORD INSIDE GIANT

description

Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Transcript of Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Page 1: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

Cnr High St & Tooronga Rd,

Malvern, 3144

Phone: (03) 9822 9057.

Fax: (03) 9822 9821

www.mattressesgalore.com.au

[email protected]

Mattresses Galore

See Observer Trader P8

PHONE 0418 883 335

See P16 Observer TraderTurn to Observer Trader

THE GREAT

MUSIC OF THE

‘30s TO ‘60s

Streaming

through the

Web

PHONE:

9572 1466

goldendaysradio.com

Grosvenor in Cairns

Holiday Apartments

Fully Self Contained

1 and 2 bedroom apartments

Looking to escape the cold this winter;

then head on up to Cairns - always warm!

Visit

www.grosvenorcairns.com.au or

email

[email protected] or

ring 1800 629 179

ISSN 1447 4611

See Page 13 Observer Trader

Turn to P21 Observer Trader

www.tuckertubonline.com

Phone Rudi5784 3541

Turn To Observer Trader P3

BAYSWATER CAKE KITCHEN693 Mountain Hwy, Bayswater 3153

www.bayswatercake.com.auAll Cakes and Pastries Designed

and Cooked on the PremisesCELEBRATION & NOVETY CAKESPIES, PASTRIES & SAUSAGE ROLLSSANDWICH PLATTERSWEDDINGS & PARTIES CATERED FOR

Tel: 9729 6904Fax: 9720 3700

[email protected]

John ParsonsPROPRIETOROffice: 9720 3800

146 ARGUS ST, CHELTENHAM

VIC 3192

TEL: 9585 2822

FAX: 9585 2422

Shop 5, 401 St Kilda Road

Melbourne VIC 3004

pH: 9866 1284

[email protected]

See our ad on P2 Observer Trader section

Garden Sheds, Cubbies & Forts,

Water Features Kennels, Hutches & Aviaries

Water Tanks

Garden Ornaments/Statues

248 Centre Dandenong Rd Cheltenham,(Opp DFO)

Open 7 Days 9583 3944www.gardenshedsgalore.com.au

Garden Sheds Galore for all your garden

& outdoor needs

See our ad inside

Garden ShedsGalore

and much, much more

Any Time Tree Services

No Job Too Big or Small

Tree Lopping, Tree Mulching

Wood Splitting

Fully Insured

20 Years’ Experience

0408 880 188

ObserverMelbourne

ObserverMelbourne

THE

FUNNY

BUSINESS

Pages 13, 14

DOLLY

DIAMOND

ON TV

Page 8

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2013 www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPh 1-800 231 311

Fx 1-800 231 312

STATE

EDITION

Vol 45

No 1511

SERVING

VICTORIA

SINCE 1969

NEWS ★ SHOWBIZ ★ LIFESTYLE ★ TRAVEL ★ FEATURES ★ BARGAINS ★ SPORT

TOP VALUE

$288 PAGES

95

including GST

$2.95

LEST WE FORGET

■■■■■ Able Seaman Andrew Bryce will sound the bugle at tomorrow’s ANZAC Day

Dawn Service at the Shire Of Remembrance. Mark Richardson reports on Page 4.

WIN TICKETS TO ‘LEGALLY BLONDE’

CROSSWORD

INSIDE

GIANT

Page 2: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Call 1 300 4 AWNINGS9729 0096

AWNINGS & BLINDS

●●●●● CUSTOM DESIGN AND

MANUFACTURE

●●●●● RETRACTABLE AWNING

●●●●● CANVAS AND MESH SUNBLINDS

●●●●● MADE TO MEASURE CANOPIES

●●●●● INTERNAL BLINDS

●●●●● PVC BISTRO BLINDS

●●●●● CALL US NOW FOR FREE MEASURE

AND QUOTE

www.lifestyleawnings.com.au

Email: [email protected]

20% OFF

COMMERCIAL

ENQUIRIES

WELCOME

7YEARS

Autumn Special

20% off external mesh,

and canvas awnings, and internal blinds

Page 3: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

City DeskThe hottest news about Melbourne’s A-listers

City Desk

Melbourne’s $6 million woman

●●●●● Betty Armsden■ ‘Arts angel’ Betty Amsden this became the Arts Centre Mel-bourne’s ‘Six Million Dollar Woman’ with another visionary gift of$1 million.

Miss Amsden OAM has given again to further support and developArts Centre Melbourne programs for children, young people, families andthe broader community.

Her overall financial commitment to Arts Centre Melbourne nowtotals $6.6 million.

It adds to the landmark $5 million pledge she made in 2009 to establishthe Betty Amsden Arts Education Endowment for Children, and ishot-on-the-heels of her induction onto the Victorian Women’s HonourRoll .

Miss Amsden has also increased support of aspiring arts managersthrough the Betty Amsden Scholarship for Leadership in Arts Man-agement, an annual $15,000 commitment announced last month.

Betty Amsden’s gift to Arts Centre Melbourne’s endowment fund isher gift to the next generation, providing an inspiring platform from whichsecure additional support to extend the role Arts Centre Melbourne plays inthe cultural life of Melbourne.

Keen to see the impact of her support realised in her lifetime as welland highly supportive of Arts Centre Melbourne’s work in this area andthe staff delivering it, she has added $1 million over the next four years togrow these programs even further. A supporter since it opened and currently a Governor of the Arts Cen-tre Melbourne Foundation, Betty Amsden wants to be involved andhands-on.

She wants to inspire others to make a difference too,” said Arts CentreMelbourne Chief Executive Judith Isherwood.

“She is a self-made woman whose fortune was not made through inher-itance. Amazingly astute, she sees the potential in people and organisationsand throws her efforts into encouraging those she supports to think big andrealise their dreams.”

The bulk of Betty’s money was made through developing a series ofnursing homes, an opportunity realised from personal experiences whenshe saw the need to lift the standard of nursing homes to create spaces forthe elderly. She felt the centres gave more dignity and respect than whatwas being offered.

“The arts are for everyone and Arts Centre Melbourne belongs tothe community of Victoria,” Ms Am,sden said.

“My desire through my philanthropy is to enable people, especially theyoung, to have the opportunities to experience the performing arts.

“I encourage others to follow my lead and to offer their own commit-ment and generous support for this vital connection to our future.

“To me children are very important because they are our future. It givesme great satisfaction to watch the people I support and the programs Imake possible go forward and flourish and be the best they can be. It is thejoy of knowing I am doing a little good somewhere.

“It is so easy to write a cheque and hand it over but I don’t think that istrue philanthropy in actual fact. You need to know what the organisation itdoing, why it is doing it, and whether it matches my charter and dream ofhelping others. I’m confident that Arts Centre Melbourne ticks the boxes inall these areas,” Ms Amsden said.

Melbourne Moments

All that jazz■ Bob Sedergreen’s Come To-gether Band will perform at theStonnington Jazz Festival on Thurs-day May 23 at 8pm.

The Melbourne pianist has broughttogether musicians of different ages,states and musical backgrounds forwhat promises to be a unique and spe-cial concert at Malvern Town Hall.

These include guitarist GeorgeGolla, drummer John Morrison,singer Jacki Cooper, trombonist/ar-ranger/band leader Dave Palmer, andMal Sedergreen on saxophones.

Tickets available from Chapel OffChapel, phone 8290 7000.

Award nominees■ Cyril Jewell House (NorthWestern Mental Health, EastKeilor) has been nominated for theTeam Innovation finals in theHESTA Australian NursingAwards.

Janet Lees (Castlemaine Dis-trict Community Health) has beennominated as Nurse of the Year for heroutreach work with marginalised andvulnerable clients dealing with drug andalcohol issues.

Interstate finalists will be flown toMelbourne to attend an awards din-ner on Thursday, May 9.●●●●● Bob Sedergreen

Opening at Sofitel

●●●●● Clive Scott

■ Popular Sofitel Melbourne OnCollins General Manger CliveScott is featured in an exhibition ofphotos opening next week.

This exhibition is called GuestRelations and is the work of ac-claimed Australian photographer,Robyn Stacey.

These works were created whileshe was Sofitel’s artist-in-residencein February.

Robyn used the hotel as the can-vas for her camera obscura project.The opening will be held in Sofi’sLounge on Tuesday (Apr. 30).

Under The Clocks

The BuzzSuperheroes

BILL SIGNS OFF

●●●●● Bill Hutchison with Steve Cairns of Radio Sport National■ Steve Cairns, Group Program Director of Radio Sport National, haspaid tribute to the career of narness racing journalist Bill Hutchison.

Listener tributes included the comment that Bill was “one of the nicest guysin the industry”. Stuart Broadbent said: “I met him when i was a young childwith my family at Moonee Valley trots”.

■ Steve Lochran, Pan Mac-Millan representative, will be atEltham Bookshop this Sunday(Apr. 28), 3pm-4pm, to talk abouthis books.

Afternoon tea will be served.Cost: $15.00 per family, includes asigned copy of Vanguard PrimeWild Card. Prepaid early bookingsare essential: 9439 8700.

Hollywood here

●●●●● Abbie Cornish

■ The Australian Centre forthe Moving Image is announcingnew additions to its displays to cel-ebrate the Hollywood Costume ex-hibition.

Costumes by two awarded Aus-tralian costume designers, JanetPatterson and Catherine Mar-tin, will be exhibited to coincidewith the major exhibition.

When Hollywood Costumeopens today (Wed.) visitors toACMI will be able to view a stun-ning costume worn by Abbie Cor-nish in her turn as Fanny Brawnein the acclaimed period dramaBright Star.

★ Final acts have been announced for the Heart of St Kilda Concert tobe held on Tuesday, May 14 at the Palais Theatre.

Acts include comedian Dave Callan, country musician Henry Wag-ons, comic Hannah Gadsby, show-off Frank Woodley, R&B bandSaskwatch, singer-songwriter Rebecca Barnard, rocker Billy Miller,MC Brian Nankervis, the Graveyard Train choir, songbird KateCeberano, ventriloquist Darren Carr, comic Russell Gilbert, the Wish-ful trio, stand-up artist Rachel Berger, singer Lisa Miller, and the Evenband. The night raises funds for the Sacred Heart Mission.

ObserverMelbourne

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 3www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 4: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Straight from the heart♥ E-Mail: [email protected]

Mark Richardson

SOUNDING THE CALL OF RESPECT■ In military terms, the Last Post isthe bugle call that traditionally signi-fied the day's end of a soldier's duty.

It is also sounded at military funer-als to indicate that the soldier has goneto his final rest and at commemora-tive services such as ANZAC Dayand Remembrance Day. Yet, it re-mains so much more.

As the grounds at the Shrine ofRemembrance is blanketed by thesingle bugle sounding the first note atthe Dawn Service Ceremony(timed to coincide with the landing ofthe ANZACs in Gallipoli, 1915) theLast Post will invoke tears, feelingsof loss, humility, hope, love, honourand respect; often accompanied witha shiver down one's spine or a lump inthe back of the throat.

The Last Post touches our souls,heavies our hearts and stills our bod-ies; whilst we reflect and connect withheroes who battled to win our freedom,honouring our servicemen who fell anddid not return.

An expected 45,000 people willgather at the Dawn Service tomor-row at the Shrine of Remembranceto mark the 98th anniversary of theGallipoli landing at ANZAC Cove.

Moments before the Last Post ringsthrough the morning air, Able Sea-man Andrew Bryce of the RoyalAustralian Navy Band, will holdsteady his bugle, draw his breath be-fore releasing the tune of respect,thanks and praise. 'Lest We Forget'.

Able Seaman Bryce has been amember of the Melbourne detach-ment of the Royal Australian Navy

Each Bugle used by RAN musiciansis engraved with the name of a formermember of the RAN Band who paidthe ultimate sacrifice during WWII.

The ANZAC Dawn Service at theShrine of Remembrance is a movingceremony and many people have com-mented that when the bugle first soundsit sends chills through them. What willsounding the first few notes mean toyou?

Respect to the fallen. I want to honourthem in the best way I know how bysounding the purest possible call.

How will ANZAC Day begin for you?

I try to get an early night the night be-fore. I get up about 3am to begin warmups and to get ready for the day ahead.

You have sounded the Last Post at dif-ferent ceremonies. What do the differ-ent atmospheres and mean to you?

The Last PostPorch

ThoughtsBand for 13 years that is located atHMAS Cerberus on the MorningtonPeninsula.

Under the musical direction ofLieutenant Matt Klohs, Able Sea-man Bryce was happy to take a shortbreak from his Dawn Service re-hearsals, where I learnt that he beganplaying the trumpet at the age of eight,having moved to Melbourne fromCanada with his family when he wastwo years-of-age in 1975.

What inspired you to pick-upa trumpet?

When I was in kindergarten a trum-pet player came to visit the school. Hegave me the opportunity to blow thetrumpet and I produced a note on thefirst try. From there the seed wasplanted and as soon as I was able, Ibegan to play.

Were you a member of any per-forming bands or orchestras?

Prior to joining the Navy I was in-volved in various ensembles includingschool bands, local community concertbands, big bands and brass bands.

You furthered your musicalstudies at the College of the Artsand Box Hill TAFE, what musi-cal career path did you have inmind before joining the RANBand?

There was no path as such. I was

just working towards being a betterplayer and getting experience in asmany different styles of music as pos-sible. I also spent three years teach-ing instrumental music in the localcommunity.

What is your Rank Able Sea-man and what training did youundertake?

It's the first of the fully qualifiedsailor ranks in the Navy. I undertookthe 12 weeks initial entry recruittraining course which is mandatoryfor all sailors upon joining the Navy.This was followed by six months onthe job training within the RANBand.

The Melbourne detachmentcurrently has 32 members; apartfrom ANZAC Day, what roledoes the RAN Band play in edu-cating the Australian commu-nity, particularly younger Aus-tralians?

We work most in the area of pub-lic relations and we fly the Navy flagin the Australian community. Wealso supply a high degree of trainingand ceremonial support to the RAN.

How many hours do you trainand rehearse on the bugle eachweek?

It varies from person to person butfor me personally I do a minimum ofabout four hours per day of actualplaying, but that will depend on whatperformances we have coming up.

You were selected and de-ployed to play at the Dawn Ser-vice at ANZAC Cove, Gallipoliin 2001. Can you describe thatexperience?

I remember that it was very cold.It required a lot of focus but it wasextremely memorable and was oneof the proudest moments in my na-val career.

Can you recall what wentthrough your mind in the mo-ments leading up to perform-ing?

I played in the small band thatyear as I was only new to the Band.It is a goal of mine to return toGallipoli in the future to play theLast Post on this special occasion.

What are some of your othermemorable performances inAustralia?

The ANZAC Day match at theMCG in 2006. Others include per-formances with James Morrisonand Don Burrows, as well as JazzAt The Vines where I had the

●●●●● The Royal Australian Navy at the Shrine of Remembrance

chance to play an original composi-tion of mine.

The RAN Band has the privi-lege of sending a small contin-gent to Gallipoli for the DawnService every three years, whatis the selection process?

The selection process focuses pri-marily on instrumentation and the de-sire to afford as many of our peopleas possible this once in a lifetime op-portunity.

Is there a particular signifi-cance to the actual bugle you willbe using on the day?

The atmosphere at the MCG waselectric and I tended to feed off thecrowd's energy.

I actually find it easier to play theLast Post in front of large crowdsrather than just a few at a memorialservice or funeral.

Nevertheless every time I play thiscall there is always an element ofnerves involved.

What other official perfor-mances will you be involved withfollowing this year's Dawn Ser-vice?

After the Dawn Service I willbe marching with the RAN Bandthrough the city. We will be doing themarch twice this year. Following thatI will be doing another bugle call atthe Shrine of Remembrance forthe Commemoration Ceremonyafter the march has finished.

The RAN Band will celebrateits centenary on June 23 this year.What other major events are youlooking forward to being in-volved with?

The International Fleet Re-view will be held in Sydney in Oc-tober 3-11. This will be a once in alifetime career opportunity for Navymusicians Australia wide that willwelcome warships and bands fromaround the globe. There is more in-formation on our websitewww.navy.gov.au/IFR

What is your Porch ThoughtFor The Day?

'To play a wrong note is insignifi-cant; to play without passion is incom-prehensible.'

- Mark Richardson

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

PH

OTO

: IKO

N IM

AG

ES

Off The Porch Thought For The Day

Mick ThomasAustralian Singer/SongwriterPerforms Gallipoli RosemaryANZAC Day Caulfield RSL from 3.30pm"Gallipoli Rosemary is a song about whatconnects us to the past. On the one hand there isa marble war memorial in a small country townwhere we couldn't seem to find mygrandfather's name - until my mother realisedthe letter 'G' had faded and become a 'C'. Onthe other hand we have a family's handed downrosemary bush that had its origin in Gallipoli.They are both memorials of a sort but I guessthe song is saying we should never lose sight ofthe personal and practical in favour of theformal grandiose statement."

Page 5: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Latest NewsFlashes Around Victoria

ObserverMelbourne

In This 88-Page Edition

City Desk: Melbourne’s A-Listers ................. Page 3From The Heart: Meet the ANZAC bugler ....... Page 4Melbourne People: In the picture ............... Page 6Di Rolle: Dolly Diamond’s new TV show ....... Page 8Cartoonist: Matt Bissett-Johnson is back ..... Page 9Long Shots: The Editor’s column ................ Page 10Melb. Confidential: Rumour Mill, Gossip ...... Page 11Kevin Trask: The Platters profile ................. Page 12Magazine: Comedy Company flashback ..... Page 17Travel and Wine: David Ellis reports ........... Page 69Footy Week: Harry Beitzel reports .............. Page 81

It’s All About You!

$2500 fine for assault■ Paul Gerard Loughnan, now 48, ofGeelong West, acquitted of the 1988 rape andmurder of East Geelong woman, HeatherJoy Nelson, 29, has been convicted of a vi-cious assault on his former partner. Loughnanwas convicted and fined $2500. He was 29 atthe time Ms Nelson was strangled with a cur-tain cord in her Helmer Cres home.

Weather Forecast■ Wednesday. Possible shower. 11°-20°.■ Thursday. Partly cloudy. 11°-22°.■ Friday. Partly cloudy. 13°-24°.■ Saturday. Partly cloudy. 15°-24°.■ Sunday. Partly cloudy. 16°-24°.

Wayans Bros in Melb.3AW in Afghanistan

Latest Movies, DVDsLocal Theatre Shows

ObserverMelbourne

Breaking Newswww.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 5

ObserverShowbizObserverShowbiz

HACKERS ATTACK CRIME FIGHTINGWEBSITE: MELBOURNE REPORTER

■ Corrput forces have gacked into thecrime-fighting website of independentjournalist Brett Quine.

Quine co-authored a book, Kill TheMorans, which has sold 12,000 copies. Itis not available in Victoria because ofcurrent and ongoing court cases.

Quine points to the possibility that acorrupt group of Victoria police could beresponsible for the ‘cyber-hacking’.

“The only people who have anything toreally fear from its popularity are highlypositioned corrupt police and officials,”says Quine, who also runs a bar in inner-suburban Melbourne.

“I consider it far from a joke that cer-tain charges were only laid after the scriptwas sent to every publisher in Australia.”

Quine says he believes that corruptjournalists are possibly involved, as thebook names “a few of the frauds”. He issoon to launch a new website:

www.outlawsbulletin.com

●●●●● From left: Sam Hands (Friends of Cheltenham and Regional Cemeteries), DiReidie, (President of Brighton Historical Society), Philippa Johnstone (SandringhamHistorical Society) and Peg Gill (Friends of Black Rock House), revisit seasidehistory in preparation for Holidays By The Sea, an event being presented at BlackRock House on Sunday, May 5 from 10am to 5pm. Photo: Malcolm Threadgold

‘Holidays By The Sea’

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5THE TOP 5 COMMENTS

HEARD IN THE

NORTH KOREA WAR-ROOM

5. “Kim Jong - for the last time ...would you please go to Spec Savers”

4. “OK, next time let¹s make sure the rocket doesn¹t fallout of the Coke bottle.”

3. “Has anyone got a GPS. I¹m sure Washington is that way.”2. “If you don¹t want to see our army marching like that,

issue them with looser jockettes.”1. “Who called me an ass Seoul?”

DOUBLE PASSES

TO ‘LEGALLY

BLONDE’

ObserverMelbourne

READER COMPETITION

The Melbourne Observer has fivedouble passes to give away for the 1pmshow of Legally Blonde at the PrincessTheatre, 163 Spring St, Melbourne, onWednesday, May 15, 2013.Legally Blonde stars Lucy Durack, RobMills, Helen Dallimore, Erika Heynatzand Cameron Daddo.To enter, clip out the entry form, placein an envelope, and mail to LegallyBlonde Competition, PO Box 1278,Research, 3095, to reach us by firstmail, Monday, May 6, 2013. Winners’names will be published in theMelbourne Observer on May 8, 2013.Tickets will be mailed to winners.Our usual competition rules apply.

To: Legally Blonde CompetitionMelbourne ObserverPO Box 1278, Research 3093

Name: ..................................................................................

Address: ................................................................................

......................................... Postcode: ...............................................

Entries need toreach us by first mail

Mon., May 6, 2013

WIN!

■ A celebration of Bayside’s historical re-lationship with the seaside will be presentedas part of the 2013 National Trust Heri-tage Festival on Sunday, May 5 from 10am-5pm at Black Rock House, 34 Ebden Ave,Black Rock.

Holidays By The Sea is being presented bythe Friends of Black Rock House, with thesupport of Bayside City Council and theBayside History Network.

Enjoy an historical exhibition, archival foot-age, entertainment from the Free SelectorsAussie Bush Band, Don Jones’s Punchand Judy Show, roving musician CatherineMcGregor, refreshments, face painting,games, and guided tours of Black RockHouse. At 2.30pm, those with memoriesof seaside visits in the past are invited to sharethem in a Sharing Recollections segment, tobe recorded by an historian.

Free entry. Enquiries 9589 4912www.blackrockhouse.org.au

- Cheryl Threadgold

7 blows MKR secret

●●●●● Brett Quine

●●●●● Mick and Matt on My Kitchen Rules

■ Channel 7 committed a major blunder onSunday night when it revealed Tasmanianfather-and-son Mick and Matt would be in theGrand Final.

The development was blown when a sta-tion promotion was aired 40 minutes into Sun-day night’s two-hour episode. It also broke thenews early on Facebook on Sunday evening.

Page 6: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

PeopleMelbourne

Send news to [email protected] Fax: 1-800 231 312

●●●●● Mark O’Leary

Under the Southern Cross

Passing of Billie Karen

New album for Renee Geyer

■ One of the masters of the Melbourne choral scene, ArtisticDirector of Young Voices of Melbourne, Mark O'Leary,will be conducting Exaudi, a high standard choir of youngadults. Julie Houghton has more details in the Observer Show-biz section.

■ Arranged by English theatre legend Peter Brook, Love IsMy Sin takes 29 Shakespeare sonnets and turns them into aduet that explores the anatomy of love, shining light on the va-garies of relationships, love, surrender, separation, jealousy andthe changes wrought by time. Julie Houghton has more de-tails on the Local Theatre page of the Observer Showbiz sec-tion.

●●●●● Jenny Lovell and Geoff Wallis

Love IsMy Sin

■ A pioneer of Melbourne radio, ‘Billie’Karen, has died. She was 93.

Joan Scott Karen passed away peacefullyin Brisbane on April 13. She had been a resi-dent of Jamboree Heights.

The former 3AW personality was a formerwife of current affairs broadcaster OrmsbyWilkins.

She was mother of Christopher andOrmsby Wilkins, mother-in-law of Linda,and grandmother to Michael and Susan. Shewas great-grandmother of Mischa.

Billie Karen had been a presenter at 3AWwhen its studios were located at 382 La TrobeSt. She was one of Geoff Manion’s regularcommentators, and was producer for MurielCooper.

Billie understood the theatre of radio, andoften presented as a prickly, opinionated on-aircharacter.

In retirement, she was a keen bridge player.A private cremation was held in Brisbane.

Arrangements were in the hands of K MSmith, Goodna.●●●●● Billie Karen in a 3AW press ad

●●●●● Observer reader John David Buckland (centre) wasgiven a surprise 70th birthday at ‘A Boy Called Sue’pizza restaurant, St Andrews, on Saturday. He is withowner Steve Simic and son John from Singapore.

●●●●● Melbourne performer Renee Geyer has released a new album, Swing, describedas including “joyous, happy, upbeat music”.

●●●●● Gordon Morrison and Jane Smith are pictured with the iconic Eureka flag, ondisplay where it was hoisted more than 150 years ago. The Flag of the SouthernCross is the centrepiece of Ballarat’s new national Museum of Australian Democ-racy at Eureka (M.A.D.E), which is built on the site of the Eureka Stockade.M.A.D.E opens on May 4.

●●●●● Singer and pianist Leslie Avril will perform at the Pop Up Wine Bar at Ruby Cafe,Kyneton, on Saturday, June 1, for a special ‘Marcie Jones And Friends’ night to beheld to assist the ‘Artists For Orphans’ group. Bookings: Ronim 0424 938 931.

Leslie to perform at KynetonLeslie to perform at Kyneton

Dream time

■ Melbourne radio enthu-siast Paul Nicholson hasfulfilled a lifetime dream,attending the Grand OleOpry this week in 650WSM in Nashville.

“A life ambition realisedincluding live read commer-cials but, oh, the cultural dif-ferences between the USAand Australia. I can't getover the amount of talking inthe audience while the per-formers are on the stage.”

●●●●● Paul Nicholson

Record broken

●●●●● Rue Skoba

■ The Bridgewater LakeBowling Team at Rox-burgh Park broke a 40-hour endurance record thisweek, says sales managerRue Skoba. Residentsbroke the Guinness Bookof Records 36-hour recordheld by Arnos BowlingClub Southgate UK sinceApril 2002.

Page 7: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 7www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Spring Racing our speciality

Places To Go

Page 8: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013

DiTo

For with leading Melbournepublicist DI ROLLE

DOLLY DIAMOND’S NEW TV SHOW

●●●●● Dolly Diamond

■ I want to mention alovely Melbourne en-tertainer who I have asoft spot for – DollyDiamond.

Dolly has a brandnew television chatshow that launchedMay 3.

This will be fun,trust me. Lights, cam-era, action!

For years, superstarDolly Diamonddreamt of hosting herown weekly TV chatshow. Well, finally herbroadcast dream hascome true.

Joy 94.9 FM, in as-sociation with Channel31, is presenting TheFriday Night LateShow with Dolly Dia-mond.

It's a chat show withfabulous guests and livemusic. Think GrahamNorton, but with lessmake-up.

The Friday NightLate Show with Dolly

Diamond plays everyFriday night at the Eu-reka Hotel from May3 to June 21.

A TV chat show for-mat with music andguests, each week'sshow will be recordedfor broadcast on Chan-nel 31 (digital 44) be-fore a live studio audi-ence and podcast byJoy 94.9 FM.

New guests■ "Finally, my owntelevision chat show!"says Dolly.

"I can't wait to startinterviewing the rich,the famous and thefabulously unfortu-nate."

Dolly Diamond isthrilled to be interview-ing new guests everyweek on The FridayNight Late Show.

From authors to ac-tors, musicians to mor-ticians, Dolly is look-ing forward to pokingand cajoling her guestsinto sharing some oftheir memorable mo-

●●●●● Poh Ling Yeow

ments, and hopefullysome embarrassingstories.

This UK comedycabaret diva sings live,combining comic tim-ing with a razor sharpwit.

Her sell-out seasonsat Melbourne venuesincluding Forty FiveDownstairs, TheOrder of Mel-bourne, Chapel OffChapel, The Butter-fly Club and RedBennies have seenDolly Diamond builda loyal fan-base in heradopted hometown.

Book now■ Backed by her fabu-lous three-piece bandand featuring musicaldirector CameronThomas on piano, TheFriday Night LateShow with Dolly Dia-mond is set to be themost entertaining andgorgeous Friday nightlate show in town.

Be part of some-thing very special (anda little bit silly) - youmight even get yourface on TV.

No-one is safe onDolly Diamond'scouch … even me!

This will become ashow that will get a cultfollowing – mark myword!

The Friday NightLate Show with DollyDiamond. Fridays8:30pm, weekly fromMay 3 to June 21.

Eureka Hotel, 1Church St, Richmond(cnr. Victoria St) alltickets, $25 plus book-ing fee

Bookings: www.greentix.com.auThis show will do well.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

I love my job!I love my job!

Feeling a thought■ I collect quotes. I have for years. I can al-ways put my fingertips on a quote that I thinkfits a particular situation.

If ever a good quote was needed it is now!“I guess God made Boston on a wet Sun-

day,” wrote Raymond Chandler.Next to Melbourne on a wet Sunday, Bos-

ton on a wet Sunday is something to behold.I have been blessed to have experienced a

Boston on a wet Sunday, walking along theroads and exploring the book shops and thecoffee shops and the feel of Boston. There isnothing like it.

Boston is a beautiful city. It is our sistercity, and so in honour of the Boston Mara-thon and the events of that day, my page todaywill be all things American ... with a touchof local content.

I spent many happy hours in Boston, visit-ing Harvard University, and tracking the his-tory of JFK in his earlier years when he livedthere and when he studied at the university.

Boston has long been associated with thearts like Melbourne and it revels in its fabu-lous concerts and classical music performancesheld in the many venues they have. They pro-duced the Boston Pops after all!

So in honour of Boston I am going to talkabout music. For in the toughest of times, mu-sic is the best healer.

As American lyricist E.Y.Hartburg:quoted “Words make you think a thought. Mu-sic makes you feel a feeling. A song makesyou feel a thought.”

■ American songwriters and lyricists andgreat singers have given us some wonderfulmusic over the years.

I often hear the term the Great AmericanSongbook, sometimes it is referred to as Ameri-can Standards; it is the uniquely Americancollection of popular music from Broadwayand Hollywood musicals.

As a child I remember our house was al-ways full of music. My mother Alyson lovedthe American standards and we all used todance to Frank Sinatra or watch Mum danceto Tony Bennett.

The music from the American Songbookswere usually prevalent from the 1920s to 1960s.

Familiar composers included GeorgeGershwin, Irving Berlin, Jerome Kern,Cole Porter, Harold Arlen and RichardRodgers

Mum always knew who they were. Shespoke of them as if they were neighbours andher best friends.

Singers include Frank Sinatra, AlJolson, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday,Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, EllaFitzgerald, Mel Torme and so many others.

I can today hear Louis Armstrong orFrank Sinatra and smell my mother’s per-fume. She adored them all.

The timeless music offered hope of betterdays during the Great Depression, build mo-rale during two world wars, helped build socialbridges within our culture, and whistled besideus during economic growth.

My families along with countless others de-fended their country, raised families, and builta nation to these songs.

The songwriters of the Great AmericanSongbook translated positive values and an op-timistic spirit into the soundtrack not only ofAmerican life, but life in other countriesacross the world particularly Australia.

These values are as true and applicable to-day as they ever have been.

Melbourne Recital Centre is presentingfor the third time there highly successful Ameri-can Songbook Series.

In presenting this fabulous series of perform-ers they hope to educate today’s youth and com-munity about the relevance of the Great Ameri-can Songbook and its connection to currentpopular music and our current culture.

Wonderful music fromGreat American Songbook

Barb in the Salon■ The highly acclaimed American Songbookreturns to Melbourne’s Recital Centre thisJune.

Like America itself. the Songbook is amelting pot of traditions, cultures and histories– from the best of the Golden Age musicalstandards to the eclecticism of songwritersworking in jazz, pop, rock, folk and country.

Come join me on an expedition through theglorious history of American song with giftedmusical interpreters Barb Jungr from theUK, the Michelle Nicholle Quartet fromAustralia, Molly Ringwald from the USA,(yes that Molly Ringwald!), Mary Wilson(an original member of The Supremes whowill also perform at the Cabaret Festival) ,the brilliant Lady Rizo from New York,Mary Carewe and her fabulous voice fromthe UK, and our own Bernadette Robinson.

Melbourne loves Barb Jungr. Follow-ing her sold out performances in 2010, Bar-bara returns to Melbourne for another up-lifting program of contemporary Americansong writing.

Long acknowledged as a unique interpreterof popular song, Barb Jungr brings her ac-claimed interpretive skills to the music of someof her favourite American artists, includingBob Dylan, Hank Williams, JoniMitchell, David Byrne, Jimmy Webb andNeil Diamond.

See Barb in the Salon which will be setup in cabaret mode for this event with food andbeverages available to be purchased for all theperformances in the Salon for this series.

Barb Jungr will perform Friday, June 14,at 7pm, and Saturday, June 15, with shows at3pm and 8pm.

●●●●● Barb Jungr

Motown royalty at Recital Centre■ Motown royalty and founding member of The Supremes, MaryWilson is part of the American Songbook Series at Melbourne Re-cital Centre.

Mary will also be part of the2013 Melbourne Cabaret Festivalin June as well.

Mary Wilson will perform Stormy Weather: The Lena Horne Projectat the Elisabeth Murdoch Hall on Friday, June 28 at 7.30pm.

Mary stars in this epic production that follows the life and career ofHollywood’s first African America goddess, Lena Horne.

My mother Alyson would have loved this. Based on the celebratedbiography by James Gavin, Stormy Weather follows Lena Horne’scareer as singer, entertainer and civil rights activist.

This thrilling and moving production is peppered with insights byGavin, who will be here on stage with Mary.

Rare audio and visual images and interviews with Horne herself,alongside Mary Wilson’s formidable renditions of Horne’s songs. Whatan evening it will be.

Expect heart-wrenching performances of Horne’s wonderful reper-toire, including the ever melancholic Stormy Weather and poignant Bein’Green – a perfect summation of Lena’s struggle as an activist for Afri-can-American rights.

Described by the New York Post in a review as “magnificent, grip-ping”. One performance only: 7.30pm, Friday, June 28. All details forthe American Songbook at Melbourne Recital Centre can be found atwww.melbournerecital.com or call 9699 3333.

●●●●● New York’sLady Rizo

will performin Melbourne.

Turn to Page 75in the

ObserverShowbiz section

Page 9: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

CHRISSY AMPHLETT DIES, 53Observer

Melbourne

Breaking Newswww.MelbourneObserver.com.au

People

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 9

POLICE HUNT FOR BASHER

Melbourne Observationswith Matt Bissett-Johnson

●●●●● Chrissy Amphlett

■ Geelong-born singer-dancer Chrissy Amphlett hasdied at the age of 53, after battling breast cancer andmultiple sclerosis.

She died in New York. The Divinyls singer had livedin the US with her husband, former Divinyls drummerCharley Drayton.

She lived life to the fullest. She left home as a teen-ager and travelled to England, France and Spain whereshe was imprisoned for three months for singing on thestreets.

She appeared in Monkey Grip and The Boy From Oz.Chrissy wrote of the illnesses that claimed her life:

“Unfortunately the last 18 months have been a real chal-lenge for me having breast cancer and MS and all thenew places that will take you.

“You become sadly a patient in a world of waitingrooms,waiting sometimes hours for a result or an ap-pointment and you spend a lot time in cold machines likeMRI,CT machines,hospital beds,on your knees prayingfor miracles,operating rooms,tests after tests,looking athealthy people skip down the street like you once did andyou took it all for granted and now wish you could dothat.

“I have not stopped singing throughout all this in mydreams and to be once again performing and doing whatI love to do.

“I have been writing the occassional song with a won-derful collaborator Kraig Jarret and two weeks agowe performed some of those songs in NYC in the West

Village.My illnesses have really exhausted this little bodyof mine that I have thrown from one end of a stage toanother and performed thousands of shows thats sadlysome of you missed.

“With that said I am getting stronger but there is stillsome fine tuning and work to be done on myself.

“It's a different self but my voice is strong and notaffected by the MS as some reviewers have cruelly re-ported. I can walk altho sometimes I wobble but try towobble with the beat.I look after myself and my husbandhas been through this with me every part of the way andI cannot imagine what I would have done without himand his kindness.I did something right.

“My lttle dog Holiday lays on the end of the bedwhen I am not feeling great and doesn't leave my side.Idon't reach out to people and talk about what I go throughas we are all going through something and for someonewho once was fancy free I have all of this in my life "SoI Know".I am grateful to have the knowledge that all ofthis has shown me and I feel privledged that I am strongenough to ‘know’.

●●●●● Chrissy: a life of passion and creativity

●●●●● Continued on Page 74

Footy gods answer prayers■ Andrew Demetriou has had a rough start to thisseason so he prayed to the ‘football gods; to comedown from their lofty heaven and spread the pure foot-ball sermon to the flock – have faith!.

Forget the ‘drugs war’! We are on hand to preachour fight is at ‘ground level’.

We’ve thrown away the ‘pop guns’ for the modernmachine gun. We’re here to kill the ‘drug lords’. Thisis about unadulterated football magic.

They arrived on Friday night at the SCG, sleevesrolled up ready for work.

The message to the two major disciples was to dem-onstrate to your critics you have woken from your sleepand are not prepared from tonight to give any team aquarter start.

It was a fiery message. The faithful want excite-ment. You are ordained to give them excitement with‘rapid fire’ goals.

The ‘footy gods’ message was answered from thefirst salvo. Fifteen goals in the first quarter! This wassome shoot-out.

The Cats enjoyed their night time prowl and purredto a 21 points win. The ‘footy gods’ enjoyed their work.

And they stayed for the weekend after Andy Dbegged them to hang around until Sunday to stick somefooty juice needles into the Demons.

It took time to get through to the drowsy Demons.You see they had dropped off the faith – but the godsforgave them and eventually got through for a smash-ing 12 goals last quarter.

It was against the ‘new kids on the block’, GWS,who were Giants for three quarters and led by 19points at the last change only to run out of legs andlose by 41 points.

I asked Sheeds if he was disappointed with theloss? On the contrary. He told me he had to return thephone message on his direct line to the ‘Footy Gods’and was told they were impressed and to keep up thegood work to his ‘babies’.

Actually Sheeds was a bit peeved because it tookhim ages to get through as the line was busy – Andywas thanking them!

After all it was a super football weekend with plentymore to come from ANZAC Day tomorrow(Thurs.).

Eh!, Andy D, would the ‘footy gods’ sanction adaily AFL comp?

- Harry Beitzel

Media FlashHoward as TV boss?

■ The Australian newspaper canvasses the rumourthat former Australian Prime Minister JohnHoward heads a high-powered wish list of preferredcandidates for the vacant Free TV Australia chiefrole.

NRL leads on signage■ Tne National Rugby League is working at hav-ing ‘virtual signag’" superimposed on to football fieldsin TV broadcasts. Already there have been moves toreplace images of fence signs with those computer-generated by the broadcasters.

Aaron’s short time at MIX■ Aaron Chillcott has left Melbourne radio sta-tion MIX 101.1.

Greg Newman from Jocks Journal reports: “OnTwitter Aaron announced: "Exploring life's next bigchallenge."

Aaron had joined the station in 2012 from CoastFM in WA. The station is now seeking a new Assis-tant MD and announcer.■ Greg Newman interviews Ian McFadyen onPages 13-14 of this week’s Melbourne Observer.

●●●●● Victoria Police want to speak with this man

■ Police are appealing for public information after ataxi driver was assaulted by a passenger in Mont-morency in the early hours of Saturday morning.

The taxi driver picked up two male and two femalepassengers outside a licensed premises on MaroondahHwy in Ringwood around 4am.

The male front seat passenger was behaving errati-cally and swearing at the taxi driver.

The driver stopped in Montmorency just after4.30am and asked the passengers to get out.

The front seat passenger then head butted the driverand punched him in the face causing his lip and nose tobleed.

The offender is described as being Caucasian, approxi-mately 173cm tall, athletic build and short blonde hair.

He was wearing a grey singlet and blue jeans.Anyone with information is urged to contact Crime Stop-pers 1800 333 000 or visit www.crimestoppers.com.au

Free record search■ Family history website, www.findmypast.com.au is allowing freeaccess to its entire military archivesbetween until Friday (Apr. 26)

The comprehensive collection in-cludes 3.6 million records from Aus-tralia, New Zealand, Ireland,Britain and the United States

Users have the opportunity tobrowse findmypast.com.au’s inau-gural ANZAC Memory Bank, con-taining heroic stories, exclusive pho-tos, and diary entries relating to Aus-tralian and New Zealand involve-ment in all wars.

Almost 200 users have submittedtheir personal and family stories.

In addition to the free access to allmilitary records and the AnzacMemory Bank, findmypast.com.auand Inside History are announcing acollaboration to produce an exclusivefree digital magazine.

Carlotta

■ Jessica Maraiswill take the lead in thetelemovie Carlotta forABC1, which beginsproduction on May 6.

Based on the life ofthe iconic Les Girlsheadliner and Austra-lian transgender pio-neer, Jessica Maraisis set to star asCarlotta, one of themost beautiful womenof her generation, butnot a woman at all.

Also joining the castare Caroline O’Conn-or, Alex Dimitriades,Anita Hegh, EamonFarren and PaulCapsis.

It is a story aboutidentity, family, toler-ance and acceptance,

Carlotta lays barethe life of a confusedteenager named Rich-ard, his flight into thehedonistic KingsCross of the 60s and70s and his transforma-tion into Carol.

Against the threat ofcriminal prosecutionand social rejection, theaudience sees the emer-gence of the all con-quering drag queen andperformer Carlotta.

Spanning 40 years,Carlotta is said to be anuplifting celebration offinding a place in theworld and making yourmark – against all odds.

Carlotta was writtenby David Hannamwith story consultationby Carlotta.

Page 10: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

CALL ANSWERED

www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPage 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted fromCourt Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior topublication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases areavailable at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event acceptany liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. Theinformation is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assess-ing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence shouldbe made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at anytime for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS

Thought For The Week■ “Strangely those who do the least are usually the mostsocial in criticising those who do the most.”

Observer Curmudgeon■ “With rights come responsibilities. We should makesure those demanding their rights are also informed oftheir responsibilities.”

Text For The Week■ “And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if youhave faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what hasbeen done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this moun-tain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will hap-pen." - Matthew 21:21

ObserverTreasury

ObserverMelbourne

Ash On Wednesday

Long Shots

with Ash Long, Editor

[email protected]

“For the cause that lacks assistance,‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance

For the future in the distance,And the good that we can do”

■ Credit where it is due. The MelbourneObserver last week launched the first ofits Telstra Testimonials pages where cus-tomers tell of their problems with the na-tional communications giant.

The second Telstra Testimonials ap-pears on Page 71 of today’s edition.

James Howe, part of the Telstramedia team, was prompt in contacting theObserver: “It is sad to see the complaintsfrom customers of times where we havelet them down. The directive from DavidThodey down has been one of putting thecustomer at the centre of everything wedo. We know we have a history of bu-reaucracy and to turn this ship will takesome time.

“We are starting to see improvementsbut, as evidenced by the feedback fromyour readers, there is still much work to do.” ●●●●● James Howe

New left foot

The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press,155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long,for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of theregistered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham,Distributed by All Day Distribution.Responsibility for election and referendum comment isaccepted by the Editor, Ash Long.Copyright © 2013, Local Media Pty Ltd(ACN 096 680 063).

Our Doors are Open!

To find out more about Freemasonry,how to become a member, or attendupcoming public events, please visit

www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' ourFacebook page, www.facebook.com/

freemasonsvic for the most up to dateinformation.

Have you ever wanted to do something alittle bit different for lunch?

Freemasons Victoria's members in the CBD,have been having a ball with the quarterlyFreemasons CBD Luncheon.

Hosted at the iconic Morgans at 401 inMelbourne's Collins St since November 2010,Freemasons, their friends and even family,have been able to crunch their appetite andquench their thirst for knowledge with someof Melbourne's most engaging speakers

The ambience of the room at Morgans at401 continually sets the scene for what hasturned out to be an exceptional hour offriendship and discussions around the table.

"It has turned out to be a highlight of mycalendar," said Peter Henshall CEO ofFreemasons Victoria.

“This is a time where I can break awayfrom the office for an hour, enjoy a satisfyinglunch, listen to a speaker on a topic ofinterest, and return to work, feeling upliftedand motivated,” says Peter.

The success of the CBD Luncheon has nowspread to the suburbs of Melbourne wherethere are just as many business peoplewanting to experience the same event.

John Millar a member of FreemasonsVictoria has been a regular attendee of theCBD luncheon and wanted to take back thatsame excitement to his business community.

"This is a chance for me to show peoplethe good nature of Freemasonry," remarks MrMillar.

"I have enjoyed the events in the City andknew there was a real chance it could be justas successful in the Eastern region, I am proudto say we are hosting our second event atNelsons restaurant in May," says Mr Millar.

We asked the Grand Master of FreemasonsVictoria, Bob Jones, what has made theseevents so successful.

"The quality of the meal always makes abetter lunch. It's a great chance to connectwith old friends and make new ones, and thefact we keep a limit on the time, makes iteasier to get back to work," says Bob.

CBD Luncheon guest speakers haveincluded Garry Morgan from Morgans GallupPoll; Mark Bolton prominent footballer andCEO of Ladder; Simon McKeon 2011Australian of the year; Charlie Bezzina formerHomicide detective and author; LarrySengstock, Olympian; and Paul Little OAM,founder of Little Property.

The next Freemasons CBD Luncheon willbe held on June 11 and bookings can be madethrough Donna De La Rue at FreemasonsVictoria on 9411 0111

Freemasons Lunch

Freemasons Victoria’s CBD Luncheonheld at Morgans at 401

The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press,

155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for

Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the regis-

tered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham,

Distributed by All Day Distribution.

Responsibility for election and referendum comment

is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long.

Copyright © 2013, Local Media Pty Ltd

(ACN 096 680 063).

Independently Owned and Operated

ObserverMelbourne

Victoria’s Independent Newspaper

First Published September 14, 1969

Every Wednesday

Contact Us

Office: 30 Glen Gully Rd, Eltham, Vic 3095

Postal: PO Box 1278, Research, Vic. 3095

Phone: +61 3 9439 9927

Fax: +61 3 9431 6247

Web: www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

E-Mail: [email protected]

Contact Us

Publisher and Editor: Ash Long

Media Director: Fleur Long

Features Editor: Peter Mac

Columnists: Len Baker, Harry Beitzel, Matt

Bissett-Johnson, David Ellis, Rob Foenander,

Christina La Cross, Julie Houghton, Yvonne

Lawrence, Nick Le Souef, Mike McColl Jones, John

Pasquarelli, Terry Radford, Mark Richardson, Di

Rolle, Aaron Rourke, Ted Ryan, Jim Sherlock,

Cheryl Threadgold, Kevin Trask, Veritas

Distribution: Sam Fiorini, phone 9482 1145

Distribution

STATE EDITION: Available weekly at approx. 400

newsagents across the Melbourne metropolitan area,

Mornington Peninsula, Geelong, Bellarine Peninsula,

Surf Coast, and Victorian regional centres.

Recommended retail price: $2.95.

If your local newsagent does not currently stock the

Melbourne Observer, you can place a weekly order

with them.Use their ‘putaway’ service.

Newsagents contact: All Day Distribution Pty Ltd,

1st Floor, 600 Nicholson St, North Fitzroy, Vic. 3068.

Phone: (03) 9482 1145. Fax: (03) 9482 2962. Dis-

tribution Manager: Sam Fiorini.

Mail Subscriptions

You can have your own copy of the Melbourne Ob-

server delivered to your letterbox by Australia Post.

We dispatch hundreds of copies of the Melbourne

Observer to mail subscribers every Tuesday afternoon.

Subscription price for 45 copies is $213.75, pre-paid,

to anywhere in Australia. Overseas rates available on

application. Pay by Credit Card: Visa, Mastercard,

American Express

Organise your mail subscription:

BY PHONE: 1-800 231 311

BY FAX: 1-800 231 312

E-MAIL: [email protected]

BY POST: PO Box 1278, Research, Vic. 3095. Pay

by Cheque, Money Order or Credit Card.

Available Across The World

MELBOURNE OBSERVER ONLINE

2.1 MILLION HITS ANNUALLY

ON THE WEB:

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

You can read our paper free on the Internet.

Contact details for all our advertisers are also avail-

able at our website.

BACK COPIES - ARCHIVES

Back Cop ies fo r 2012-13 ed i t ions o f the

Melbourne Observer are all available at our

website. Back copies for 1969-89, 2002-11 may

be inspected by appointment at the State Library

of Victoria, 328 Swanston St, Melbourne.

Back Copies

Mail Subscription Form

Mail to: Subs, Melbourne Observer

PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095

Yes! Please organise a Melbourne Observer

mail subscription for 45 editions for $213.75

(posted anywhere in Australia). I understand

that the completion of the 45 editions, the

subscription will be automatically rolled over,

unless I advise otherwise.

Cheque/Money Order/Credit Card

Name: ...... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........

Address: .......................................

........... Phone: .............................

Credit Card: ........................................

Expiry: ......................Subject to subscription

terms and conditions

●●●●● Robert LouisStevenson

■ “Life is not a matter ofholding good cards, but ofplaying a poor hand well.”

- Robert LouisStevenson.

Poor hand

■ My apology that theLong Shots has become abit of a Hospital Hour inrecent times.

Your scribe’s roundsthis week included moreattention at the Heidel-berg Repatriation Hos-pital, and also at theRoyal Talbot Rehabili-tation Centre at Kew.

We now have a newleft boot: a walkerequaliser ‘moon boot’ de-signed to help diabetic footwounds.

I have to admit that Iprefer my SAS shoesfromGilmours!

Page 11: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

ConfidentialMelbourne

BitchMelbourne’s Secrets

Whispers

Rumour Mill

Hear It Here First

GENDER BENDER SHOWSALUTES ANNIE LENNOX

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 11

E-Mail: [email protected]

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

■ Jersey Boys star MichaelGriffiths is about to appear asAnnie Lennox is a ‘gender-bend-ing’ show as part of the MelbourneCabaret Festival from July 3-7.

Publicist J P Bolton saysGriffiths is coming direct from thedirect from the Adelaide CabaretFestival.

“No accent, costume or wig. Lyr-ics plumbed for new meaning, melo-dies reinterpreted, all peppered withcandid musings and remembrancesfrom the moody songstress herself.”

Sweet Dreams traces Lennox’scareer from the gender bending earlydays as one half of 80s sensation Eu-rythmics through to her solo ca-reer, with her bittersweet lyrics shar-ing the confessions of her triumphsand her heartbreak.

Songs inclide like Why, Love Is AStranger, Walking On Broken Glassand There Must Be An Angel (Play-ing With My Heart).

The show will be presented fromJuly 3-7 at fortyfivedownsatirs.

Wednesday to Sunday 7.30pmTickets: Full $35 Concession $30Bookings: 9662 9966

www.fortyfivedownstairs.com

Saddened

●●●●● ABC overnight presenters Trevor Chappelland Rod Quinn are rarely seen in the same city... let alone in daylight. They met in Melbourneto talk about their radio audience. They saythey have some interesting plans ahead for Over-nights in 2013.

Sweet Charity cast named

●●●●● Williamstown Musical TheatreCompany is staging Sweet Charity

●●●●● Annie Lennox

Making a Bolt for the door

■ One person par-ticularly saddenedby the passing thisweek of singerChrissy Amph-lett is 3AW after-noon presenterDenis Walter. Thepair attended highschool together inGeelong.

Guilty

■ A Moorabbin importer and its company secretaryhave admitted supplying toys that contravene mandatorysafety standards.

Ji Dong Miao acknowledged that King Sky GroupPty Ltd had breached the Australian Consumer Lawbetween January and July last year by offering, supply-ing or possessing the banned goods which contravenedthe mandatory safety standards.

In July last year , Consumer Affairs Victoria in-spectors seized 534 banned items, including three kindsof wooden children’s pull-along toys:■ 204 ‘Baby Supplies duck tractors’■ 30 ‘Wisdom Duck’ pull car wooden toys■ 120 ‘Pull Along Dragon’ wooden toys, and■ 180 ‘Wisdom Box Wooden Toy’ shape sorters.

The items contained small, removable parts that poseda choking hazard to young children.

King Sky Group Pty Ltd and Mr Miao, a 30 percent shareholder, gave undertakings to the Director ofConsumer Affairs Victoria, to:■ refrain from offering, supplying or possessing goodswhich do not meet the requirements of a mandatory safetystandard, interim or permanent ban order or informationstandard■ voluntarily recall any banned goods sold or suppliedpay for the publication of a public product safety warningand recall notice:

on its websiteat each of the company’s business premises for three

monthsin a local newspaper.

■ write/email, where possible, all consumers they soldthe banned goods to, warning of their dangers and offer-ing a refund■ pay refunds to anyone returning the non-compliantgoods■ implement and maintain a compliance program de-signed to ensure no further contraventions■ pay for the destruction of the seized goods.

Rare sighting

●●●●● Andrew Bolt

■ Award-winning actorLachy Hulme seemsunderwhelmed about be-ing given the role of An-drew Bolt in the upcom-ing Power Games TVmini-series about thePacker and Murdochfamilies: “I'm portrayingAndrew Bolt, a slack-jawed convicted-in-courtracist. It's a bit part.”

Wicked web they weave■ First it was radio man Keith McGowan. Then itwas John Blackman. Now a favourite MelbournePR girl is being impersonated on Facebook. Don’tthe hackers realise they leave computer IP ‘finger-prints’ with every keystroke? There is no such thing asanonymity on the internet.

New Governor-General■ Top soldier Peter Cosgrove has emerged as theman most likely to replace Australia's first femaleGovernor-General under a Liberal government.

DANGEROUS TOYSBREACHED LAW

■ Williamstown Musical Theatre Companyyesterday (Tues.) announced its cast for its produc-tion of Sweet Charity.

Alana Kiely will appear in the role of Charityin the show that will be staged from Friday next week(May 3) until Saturday May 18, at theWilliamstown Mechanics Institute.

Others in the cast include Ashley Tunan (Nickie),Ali Hickerson (Helene), Jasmine Purches(Ursula Marsh), Jessica Prinzi (Carmen),Philippa Chalke (Rosie), Martin Quinn (OscarLindquist), Blake Testri (Vittorio Vidal), RickHowden (Herman) and Stuart Dodge (Daddy Bru-beck).

The ensemble members include Nicole Black,Natlie Black, Beth Haywood, Steph Hickey,Brooke Kotsos, Anna Marinelli, ShannanMarino, Nathan McCaroon, David Postill,Josephine Pulitano, Melissa Quinn, HannahRodda and Brett Somerville.

The show includes songs including Big Spenderand If My Friends Could See Me Now.

●●●●● Denis Walter

■ Steven JamesHunter haspleaded guilty to themurder of SarahCafferkey, 22, athis BacchusMarsh address.Hunter is now dueto re-appear at theSupreme Courton June 26.

Launch

■ Vietnam vet-eran Tony Bow-den is preparing abook on the 29 menfrom the White-horse municipalitywho are buried atGallipoli. DrSteven Cooke hasbeen engaged tohead the project.■ WhitehorseCouncil is also inthe news. See ad onPage 19.

B Hines■ Hot B Hinesband will perform atthe Burvale Hotelon Sun.day, June 2.

Go Your Own Way■ Catherine Alcorn willpresent a show about the life ofChristine McVie ofFleetwood Mac on June 27-28at The Butterfly Club, CarsonPlace (off Little Collins St),City.

Thw show is written byJames Millar; musical direc-tion by Isaac Hayward; and isdirected by Jason Langley.

Alcorn burst onto the Sydneycabaret scene just two years agoand ever since, she has beenwowing audiences nationally andinternationally with her smash hitshow The Divine Miss Bette.

●●●●● Catherine Alcorn

Page 12: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

■ I can clearly remember seeing the film RockAround The Clock at the Majestic Theatre inFlinders St, Melbourne, in 1956.

During the film the teenage audience weredancing in the isles to the new sound of ‘rock androll’.

I remember talking to my mate PeterRobinson on the way out. Peter was so inspiredhe went on to learn to play bass and sang withThe Strangers and also The Seekers.

That was a momentous film - we were intro-duced to Bill Haley, Freddie Bell and the Bell-boys and a sensational Afro-American singinggroup The Platters.

I couldn't wait to buy their latest records andhear the brand new songs.

The Platters were an American singinggroup originally formed by Herb Reed in 1953but went through several changes to the line-upbefore becoming famous.

The title for the group came from records or‘platters’ as many of the disc-jockeys called them.

They were signed to Federal Records and amanagement contract with songwriter BuckRam.

Only You, their first hit record for MercuryRecords in July 1955, was originally written byBuck Ram for The Inkspots.

Their second hit song The Great Pretender isnow regarded as one of the great classic rock clas-sics of all time.

The members of the group in 1956 were Herb

WhateverHappened

To ...The

PlattersBy Kevin Trask

of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013

●●●●● The Platters

Herb was the last surviving member of theoriginal Platters until he passed away in 2012.We went very close to getting an interview withhim for 96.5FM.

The Platters were inducted into the Rockand Roll Hall of Fame in 1990 and the VocalHall of Fame in 1998.

- Kevin TraskThe Time Tunnel - with Bruce & Phil-

Sundays at 8.20pm on 3AWThat's Entertainment - 96.5FM

Sundays at 12 Noon96.5FM is streaming on the internet. To

listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au andfollow the prompts.

MOTHER NATURE’S TERRITORY WAYS■ Mother Nature often presents uswith plagues.

I've seen myriads of spider crabs in-vading the shallows at Blairgowrie,denuding all the piles of the jetty andthe slipway; and tiny shrimps in mil-lions in the shallows, to the extent thatseagulls have gorged so many of themthey can't fly.

Often whilst driving to LightningRidge I would see hordes of huge hairycaterpillars marching across the roadin some areas in northern NSW; atother times legions of cockroaches.

And, of course, many locustplagues. Often they were so thick they'dblock out the sun, and make it difficultto see the road ahead.

Then, in the Northern Territory,as soon as it rained, I would often en-counter millions of frogs on the high-way ahead of me. There was just acontinuous pop pop pop! as I ran overthem for mile after mile.

And at one stage, when in my child-hood at Kyabram, my dad, an avidentomologist, would collect moths fromthe front porch light.

One particular species never rearedits head in 10 years - not one specimen.

Except for one night, when about10,000 of them festooned the frontporch.

Right now poor old Darwin has aplague of hungry little beasts.

They are Ponciana caterpillars,small green ‘loopers’, which end up asgrey moths, of the Noctuid family.

When they're disturbed, they rise upto almost their full length and shaketheir heads about, hopefully to scareaway potential predators.

Another species is the BogongMoth, which swarms around the HighCountry. These were an importantsource of sustenance for the aboriginaltribes in the area.

They are now crawling everywherein their millions, stripping trees, andfinding their way into houses lookingfor more morsels.

Just another Territory moment.

■ Currently, a person in the NT whois apprehended for being drunk, is takeninto ‘protective custody’. Some 19,000such orders were issued last year.

Often they are taken to ‘sobering up’shelters. Last year one particulardrinker was admitted 117 times!

Then almost immediately they're re-leased back into the community to con-tinue their drinking unabated.

Obviously the current system isn'tworking too well.

Lightning Ridge Opals175 Flinders Lane,

MelbournePhone 9654 4444www.opals.net.au

TheOutbackLegend

with Nick Le Souef

So the new government is about toimplement a new plan. They're aboutto force such problem drinkers into re-habilitation centres for 12 weeks at atime.

These centres will be in Alice,Katherine Darwin and Nhulun-buy, followed shortly thereafter byTennant Creek and the Tiwi Is-lands.

"Territorians are fed up with theanti-social behaviour and violence onthe streets," said Robyn Lambleigh,Minister for Alcohol Rehabilitation.

Inhabitants will be taught ‘life skills’and ‘work readiness’.

If a drunk is taken into custody threetimes in two months, in they go.

It is always so sad throughout theTerritory to see the devastating effectsof unabated alcohol consumption.

People with obvious talents, shouldthese talents be allowed to surface; andthe sadness of seeing bright eyed littlekids, knowing the inevitability of themoften growing up into hopeless and mis-erable drunks.

Hope it works.

■ It's unfortunate that many aborigi-nal inhabitants of Central Australia

deem that they need to ingest and in-hale stimulants of various types just tosurvive emotionally.

They always chewed Pituri, a leafwhich induces a mild state of euphoria,and often still do.

Then they discovered the ubiquitousand, to them often insidious, booze.The taste for, and often reliance upon,has had disastrous results.

But more recently there is gunja rear-ing its head, and occasionally kava.This is a sedative in the Pacific Is-lands, but used for inebriation in theTerritory.

Then it was discovered thatListerine, then vanilla essence, con-tained alcohol, so they were swoopedupon.

Pine-o-Cleen was even tried - tolittle effect!

And then the kids started sniffingpetrol and glue and other solvents.

Now, unfortunately, they've discov-ered a new inhalant, and a new era hasbegun - deodorant sniffing. When will it all end?

■ Because I've spent so much time inthe Centre, I always like to try andpresent every aspect of it in a positivelight. Unfortunately currently all toooften a hopeless task.

Indeed the whole experience of theOutback has always been, and alwayswill be, a great joy to me.

And, similarly, I always like to seeif I can include positive aspects of theheart of the Centre, Alice Springs.Again, because I've spent so much timethere, have so many friends there, andhave had many enjoyable adventures andexperiences there.

So it generally saddens me to seethat some of its inhabitants are hell-benton breaking it down.

Thus it was last week in Alice inElder St, a quasi-industrial area westof town.

Armed with rocks, gangs of kids justwalked up and down the street chuck-ing them through windows as they wentalong.

Office Nationals manager, MattStrawbridge, reported that 12 of hiswindows had been smashed.

A similar tale came from anotherbusiness, Alice Quality Foods. Andanother four businesses were brokeninto and vandalised.

The perpetrators of these acts don'tseem to have any idea of the damagethey do to the town in so many ways.

■ And, unfortunately, there's more.There is a sacred site, Billy Goat

Hill, just opposite Rex Neindorf'sReptile Centre. You would think thatthere may be some sacred behaviouroccurring there.

No such luck!There's plenty of drinking there, so

that recently showers of rocks wereaimed at Rex's, smashing four solarpanels. This has also happened in thepast, with 10 having been smashed inthe past three years.

And to top this off, a full bottle ofwine was aimed at Terry the croco-dile. Luckily he was sunning himselfout of the pool at the time, and thesmashed bottle just sank into the wa-ter. However the pollution of his poolis not going to do him much good, andbroken glass is always a problem.

Territorians become so exasper-ated at the behaviour of some AliceSprings residents, who just smash thetown and its reputation.

- Nick Le Souef‘The Outback Legend’●●●●● Rex Neindorf

Reed, Tony Williams, David Lynch, PaulRobi and Zola Taylor.

In the film Rock Around The Clock they per-formed both Only You and The Great Pretender.

In the same year they appeared in their secondfilm The Girl Can't Help It and performed You'llNever Know.

In 1957 The Platters were in Australia inthe Lee Gordon Big Show and toured with BillHaley, LaVerne Baker, Freddie Bell and TheBellboys and Big Joe Turner.

(I notice there is a mint condition program fromthat show for sale on the internet and they want$400 for it).

In the years that followed The Platters hadmore hit songs with My Prayer, Twilight Time,

Harbour Lights and a wonderful version of SmokeGets In Your Eyes.

The group had 40 hit singles on the Ameri-can Billboard charts between 1955 and 1967 in-cluding four number one hits.

The Platters were the first rock and roll groupto have an album in the top 10 charts.

Over the years The Platters appeared in 27films mainly in the soundtracks.

The members of the group continued to changeover the years and as they left they formed theirown Platters group.

At one stage there were four Platters groupsperforming throughout the world.

Herb Reed had his own group and did about200 concerts each year.

Empire closes on May 5

●●●●● Empire is performing on the Crown Melbourne roof-top

■ Spiegelworld’s Empire has released the final tickets to its last perfor-mances in Melbourne. It will close on Sunday May 12.

Empire has announced extra performances on Thursday May 2 and Thurs-day May 9, with new session times of 7:30pm and 9:30pm. Tickets are avail-able through Ticketek: www.ticketek.com.au

This final Melbourne extension brings to a close a spectacular eight-weekseason held in the 700-seat antique Spiegeltent, featuring an intimate stage,and set on the Rooftop at Crown Melbourne.

Empire smashes the boundaries of circus, cabaret, variety and burlesque,reinventing the genres for a 21st century audience.

Spiegelworld first presented its annual summer season in New YorkCity on Pier 17, South Street Seaport with acclaimed shows including Ab-sinthe, La Vie, Gazillionaire’s Late Night Lounge and Desir.

For the world premiere season of Empire this year, Spiegelworld relo-cated to a premium vacant lot right in the heart of Broadway, the first time atent show had ever been presented at Times Square.

Spiegelworld is currently presenting Absinthe in the forecourt of Caesar’sPalace in Las Vegas, now in its 19th sold-out month, and recently extendedthrough to 2015.

Page 13: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

FUNNY BUSINESS

Observer Magazine

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 13

Melbourne

SECTION

2

Observer

■ On the evening of Tuesday, Febru-ary 16, 1988, the Ten Network de-buted the popular Aussie sketch com-edy series The Comedy Company.

The Melbourne Observer’s GregNewman chatted with IanMcFadyen who was a writer and per-former on the program.

Ian also talks about his current ra-dio involvement with 3AW’s sister sta-tion in Brisbane, 4BC.

What is your memory of thatfirst Comedy Company program? Iam just wondering, did you all sitaround a TV set and watch thefirst episode?

We didn’t watch it collectively. Ithink we taped the show on Wednes-day and it went to air on the followingTuesday. It started on a Tuesday night.

The first program we did was at9.30pm on a Tuesday, which is bit of adead zone

. The first show you always have alot of time to prepare as you have afew months lead-up to that.

It’s always the second show that youhave only six days to prepare. We werefairly confident that the first one wasall right, it is really the second, third,fourth, fifth that you start to worry af-ter that.

You were the creator, so I as-sume as the brainchild you werethe one to approach Channel 10.How did it all come about?

The story about how it came aboutis one of those stories of serendipity, itwas all very accidental.

I was not enthusiastic about doingsketch comedy. Myself and MarkMitchell and Steve Vizard, Mary-Anne Fahey and Glenn Robbinshad done a sketch show on Channel7 back in 1985 which was in Mel-bourne only.

So no one outside of Melbourneever saw it. It was a show that went toair late at night.

It was on at 11 o’clock and went toair on a Friday night. It was called ‘The11th Hour.’

It was written by myself, SteveVizard, Peter Moon who was in theshow and others - and in that show wedeveloped a number of characters.

Glenn used to perform UncleArthur on stage and he did it in theshow. Mary-Anne started to do someKylie Mole pieces in the show.

There were a lot of things that welater did in Comedy Company that werein that program.

We did eight of those shows and itwas actually funded by a grant fromthe government.

It was probably the best investmentthat the Australian government evermade in television.

It didn’t go on very long, but whatthat show did, it created credentials formyself, Mark Mitchell, SteveVizard, Peter Moon, Mary-Anneand so on and essentially two othershows that came out of that, one wasFast Forward and the other was TheComedy Company because it really es-tablished in people’s minds that we

●●●●● The Melbourne Observer’s Greg Newman with Ian McFadyen

show, comedy and talk. So Mark andI went to talk to Channel 9 about do-ing a late night funny news show.

Then Channel 10 found out aboutit and said you are talking to Channel9 about doing a late night news show,we want to do a late night funny newsshow, come and talk to us.

All of a sudden networks wanted tospeak to people who were comedy writ-ers about doing some sort of late nightnews show.

What of course happened is thatChannel 9 decided to go with Gra-ham Kennedy to do Coast To Coastand then Channel 10 later on decidedthat they didn’t want us, they wantedDon Lane doing some sort of com-edy show but Ian Gow who was thehead of Channel 10 said - “you guysare good, you have some funny stuff,would you like to do a one-hour-a-week

sketch comedy show?” - and I sort ofsighed and thought “oh alright’, wellwe did it once before, I guess we cando it once again.”

So what I knew from the experienceof the 11th Hour program is that tryingto write an hour of sketches a week wasalmost impossible and it was too ex-pensive.

Why is that?One of the reasons sketch comedy

didn’t work it that people would try towrite a sketch set in a western bar roomand then a sketch in a police station,then a sketch set in heaven, then in asketch in a living room and so the wholeshow became a logistical nightmare –changing sets all the time.

What I realised was two things andthat we had to have a show that wasbased on regular characters and it hadto be something that was shot very sim-

could actually do sketch comedy. Iwasn’t that interested in doing sketchcomedy, but Mark Mitchell was al-ways pursuing it.

He went to Sydney to do a sit-comWilling And Abel and in every oppor-tunity he used to berate the Channel9 executives about wanting to do latenight comedy.

There came a time when Channel9 wanted a late night comedy show be-cause Clive Robertson was onChannel 7 doing late night news andit was Clive that started sending up thenews and making funny comments andall of a sudden people were staying uplate at night to watch Clive do his newscommentary. Channel 9 got wind ofthis and said did we have to have a funnynews show at 10.30pm at night and theyresponded to Mark and said we arelooking for a late night funny news

ply. Mark and I collected a range of agroup of people that could do charac-ters. We knew that Glenn had UncleArthur, Mary-Anne had KylieMole, Kym Gyngell had Col’n Car-penter and Mark had this charactercalled Con the Fruiterer he wantedto do. So we based the show aroundthat.

These were pretty simple to shoot.So Kylie Mole sat behind a desk withsome posters behind her and just talkedfacing the camera.

Col’n Carpenter and Mark werejust in a flat talking to each other.

People would underestimate howimportant those practical logisticalthings that are in comedy.

The reason a lot of comedy showsfail is that they just are too expensive.The other thing about having charac-ters, is that once you have the charac-ters working, that was something youcan write for every week and probablyabout 55 to 60 per cent of the show wereour regular spots which meant we knewwhat to write each week.

We weren’t sitting around sayingwhat can we write about? We still hadto come up with the other 45 per centwhich would have to be of current af-fairs or sending up a funny ad or some-thing funny is happening in Canberraother day etc.

We still had to come up with some-thing of about 20 minutes of stuff thatwas satirical or topical.

When a show is 48 minutes long wehad to find pretty much 45 minutes ofcomedy every week and we alwaysknew we had about 25 to 30 minuteswith our characters.

They came like little sit-coms be-cause each week we heard the nextepisode of Kylie’s life or Con got intoa thing about Marika being pregnantand was going to have twins.

We started to follow these storiesthrough. So it became much, mucheasier for us to write each week. So itwasn’t so much a matter of me beingthe creative brains behind the show, thetalent was really in the cast.

My job was to put the show togetherin such a way that it was sustainableand that we could keep doing it weekafter week without burning ourselvesout after six weeks.

Ian, I had a chat to MarkMitchell last year. He is doing allthose very clever commercial ra-dio spots as the ‘Radio Guy’. Wetalked about the Comedy Companyand I asked if you guys were everinterested in getting together toperhaps do a stage show or a TVspecial. He said he would love tobut he said that some weren’t in-terested and that was disappoint-ing. Has there been ever any talks?

A couple of people said a few yearsago that you should get back together.My experience of those things is that itis always a let down because it is a bitlike saying ... should the Monty Pythonpeople get back together and do anotherMonty Python?

●●●●● Continued on Page 14

Page 14: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPage 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Observer Magazine

●●●●● From Page 13

Well they are in their 60s. If peopledo something and they do it reasonablywell, it is better to go out on a high.

There have been times when peoplehave got up and done it. I rememberwhen on Channel 7 about eight yearsago and they did a charity gala and theytalked to some people from those days.

I won’t be specific but they got somepeople from our show and a few othershows from that time to come back anddo some of their characters and I whenI looked at it on TV I thought - “ohthey’re old”.

It was like 25 years on. It was OKfor the Beach Boys to be touring andmaybe the Rolling Stones, but I justthink that we are too old to be doingthat kind of comedy.

Well Mary-Anne wasn’t a teen-ager when she did Kylie, but shesure looked like a teenager whenshe put on that black wig and didthat character.

She would of been about 32 whenComedy Company started and she coulddress down. She even dressed down toa three-year-old.

It wouldn’t be offensive to say thatshe couldn’t do that now – you can’t dothat when you are in your 50s or 60s.

Let’s talk a little bit about ra-dio now. First of all, you movedto Brisbane quite a few years ago.But you’re a Melbourne boy.Victoria is pretty much the capi-tal of comedy, I thought that wasinteresting your move to Brisbane.Why the move?

Well television died in Melbournein the early 90s. If you remember allthe stations went out of business.

We were with Channel 10 whenthey went into bankruptcy and that wasa very unpleasant time, because a lotof people didn’t get paid for a lot ofwork and there was no one in chargefor a long time.

Channel 10 has always been in amess, but it was in a particular messthen.

Channel 7 of course was in theMirage Quintex group. Channel 7survived pretty well as it. SteveVizard was a very lucky man. He wasvery lucky, because the receiver ofQuintex, David Crawford, decidedthan rather cutting Channel 7 to thebone to save money, that he would putsome money in it to make it saleable.

Steve actually got some money todo things like Tonight Live to sprucethe station up.

Channel 9 of course was ownedbriefly by Bond and then Packer andthere was repeated changes there.

Virtually by ‘93, ‘94 television pro-duction in Melbourne almost cameto a complete halt.

Crawford Productions had beenone of the main stayers. Well I did acouple of productions with them. I thinkthe last TV show which was a sitcomcalled Newly Weds was one of the lastproductions I ever did.

It pretty much closed down afterthat. It wasn’t due to what we did itwas just the end of their run.

Simpson Le Mesurier stoppedproducing at that time, they did someHalifax movies with RebeccaGibney and they have done nothingsince and it was very sad.

Australia is a very Sydney-cen-tric country. The media and televisionnetwork is all very much done fromSydney.

When there is a contraction in theindustry, it is the non-Sydney statesthat drop off first.

In boom times you might have hadshows coming out of Sydney, Mel-bourne and even Brisbane. Therewere times that there were even kidsshows and game shows coming out ofBrisbane. As soon as there is a con-traction, Brisbane stops producing andeven Melbourne stops producing.

There are other things that happenedand that is that the government deregu-lated the advertising industry in theearly ‘90s so for the first time Aus-tralian television stations could showads from overseas – they didn’t haveto make their own ads and that guttedthe Australian advertising industryand the TV advertising industry whichmeant all the production houses andpeople who worked on feature films andTV drama in between time were work-ing on TV ads and that just disappearedand so their work disappeared.

It was very lean times. And it wasn’tmuch fun living in a cold winteryMelbourne with no work.

I think my phone didn’t ring for abouta year and a part of me was sayingsomething has got to change, let’s goto sunny Queensland and we did andit has been a lot nicer since we escapedfrom cold penniless Melbourne.

So you are doing radio stuffon 4BC, so tell us about your in-volvement at the Fairfax talk sta-tion.

On Saturday night (prior to the foot-ball season) we are having a bit of nos-talgia session for classic comedy andwhat we are doing is I am ferreting outsome of the great comedy tracks that Iwas raised with, because back in the40s, 50s and 60s there was still a lot ofhumour on radio.

People were still releasing comedyrecords in those days. There was stillthings like novelty songs because radiowas a fairly full service medium thenand a lot of that stuff has been forgot-ten.

For our listeners we are reviving alot of those classic tracks we are bring-ing back plus a lot of modern stuff aswell. But we are mainly looking backat the Golden Age of radio and com-edy so things like the The Glums, StanFreberg, Bob Newhart, LonnieDonnegan – all that stuff that peopleremember from their youth.

They are the people that sort of shapedmy generation, the sort of stuff that weheard as children.

Would you like to take perhapsradio on full time? Would that besomething that would interest youfrom Monday to Friday talkshows anything like that?

You can probably tell that I can prob-ably talk under wet cement. I have doneradio from time to time.

I started off before Comedy Com-pany doing breakfast radio inMelbourne. I should say in passingthat to a certain extent radio is respon-sible for the decline in television com-edy because radio as you would knowin the 90’s was having comedians onair and the idea of having morningbreakfast comedy, the crazy gang, TheCage etc.

It’s usually two guys and a dumb girlsaying ‘you guys are shocking’ and‘you’re terrible’ - became the rage andwhat happened was a lot of the peoplewho were most talented in televisionwere simply being bought by radio.

People like Wendy Harmer wentto 2DAY FM and these people beganmaking a million bucks a year. Thereis no way in the world of making thatkind of money in television.

You may make a hundred thousandor two hundred thousand a year.

People like Martin Molloy couldbe on like a half a million each andthere is no way that television couldcompete with that.

So a lot of people that you mighthave expected like Peter Moon andTim Smith to do television comedywent into the vast empire of radio par-ticularly like drive time radio andbreakfast time radio.

They were never again to be seenon TV except on panel shows. So it ispartly television’s inability to competewith radio is why we don’t have a lotof TV comedy anymore.

That is a very valid point.Never thought about that.

But I was never offered a millionbucks to go in radio, otherwise I prob-ably wouldn’t be in Queensland.

A lot of people were and it was sortof the elephant’s graveyard for come-dians now. Even Steve Vizard is nowfilling in on 3AW and headed the MTRmorning show (now ended).

Ian you have been doing a lotof other stuff, so there are manymore strings to your bow. For in-stance nowadays you also work asa painter of landscapes and por-traits. You’ve written a book oncognitive psychology called MindWars. People can check out yourweb site for more details.

Yes I need to update that. Allwebsites you start off with full of en-thusiasm and you update them and af-ter a couple of years you think “gee Ihaven’t updated my website for abouteight months”.

It’s going to be funny when some ofthis generation start to die but theirwebsites will still be there. They’ll stillhave their websites going but no onewill think to cancel them.

It’s like Facebook. I know of a fewpeople that have died but theirFacebook account is still going and itappears that they are still alive.

Twenty years from now therewill be literally millions ofFacebook and My Space pages forpeople that are dead and yet we’llbe able to read all their messagesand plans for the future.

That’s true. And I’ve got oneFacebook account that I want to pulldown - and I’m alive - but I still can’tfigure out how to remove from the web.

I think if you are going to do ablack comedy these days it wouldbe looking at the problem of some-one dying but nobody knows anyof their passwords.

You’d have that situation with ring-ing up people and they’d say: “I haveto ask you a security question, whatwas the name of your first pet?”

And you say: “I don’t know whatfirst pet was or what street granddadwas born in. I don’t know.” They thensay “I’m sorry I can’t talk to you.” “Butwe have to get his money out of thebank!” And they reply : “Sorry”.

Are we right to assume all thoseComedy Company episodes are sit-ting in your garage?

They are. Last week I made a tripto Sydney to acquire this huge oldvideo tape machine, because thesecomedy tapes are on one-inch videoreel-to-reel.

Almost nobody has that technologyand television stations started gettingrid of their reel to reel one inch ma-chines back in the early nineties, but Itracked one down – and now I have thisgiant great Tardis sitting in my garage.

In the next six months, I am goingto methodically in my spare time afterwork dub off all 80 episodes of theComedy Company and other shows ontohard disk.

Then I can get rid of these cratesand crates of huge old magnetic tapeand then they will all go to the tip.

It will put me in a position where Ican actually access the material and Iwill probably be able to access a lot ofthe material that I myself haven’t seenfor about 25 years.

Of course we did put out someVHSs and DVDs. But there would bea sum total of about only three hours ofa total of 80 hours of shows we did plusother shows that I did.

There is another 77 hours of rubbishfor me to troll through, maybe I’ll findsome hidden gems which maybe I canput on the internet or something likethat.

Maybe get some more moneyfrom John Paige. I don’t know ifyou remember him.

Yes John was our first year voiceover announcer.

When I see John, I jokingly sayto him, “Mate you’d be gettinghuge amounts of money from allthe royalties for voice overs of Com-edy Company?”

Royalties yeah! The thing is, underthe agreements, there was a one upfront royalty for use.

They didn’t get more unless theshow was getting more than a certainthreshold. It did have some sales butthey never got over the threshold ofwhat people had paid and so in a sensethey still came out ahead, they actu-ally got paid more than the show evermade.

There was never in the way of roy-alties flowing. We got out a few spe-cials like the Col’n Carpenter spe-cials and so on, the royalties you makeare only a few hundred dollars.

Remember we sold cut downs toComedy Channel. I mean ComedyChannel on Foxtel they would pay$750 for a half-hour show and $1500for an hour.

We did sell them some half hourcutdowns. And if you’ve got say 13episodes of The Blood Run Free whichI produced and sell them 13 episodesat $700 each, it is not a lot of moneyyou know.

For a whole series you are gettingabout 10 grand and if you start dividingit up amongst all the people it’s notmuch.

By the time you pay writers andactors they are lucky if they are get-ting a cheque for say $80.

Good memories of a great show.We look forward to the remas-tered, digitally remixed boxed setof the Comedy Company!

That’s right. Just 38 discs plus thesteak knives can be yours for just$49.99.

- Greg Newman

●●●●● Mary-Anne Fahey starred as Kylie Mole in The Comedy Company

Page 15: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

YVONNE’S CHILLY ‘NIGHT AT OPERA’

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

ObserverMelbourne

Life & Style

Yvonne’s Column

with Yvonne Lawrence

[email protected]

■ One of my enjoyments in life is opera. I lookforward with excitement to every season.

Many years ago my friend Caroline ,and I,both huge fans, slept in the street outside HerMajesty’s Theatre to try and buy standing roomonly tickets to see Dame Joan Sutherland inDonizetti’s tragic opera Lucia di Lammermoor.

It was an experience, but we felt it worthwhilejust to hear her perform the famous ‘mad scene’.

We had a plan to buy the allotted four tickets,and we knew we couldn’t miss because we werefirst in the queue. Then we’d sell the other twotickets to cover our costs.

We were mobbed■ On the night we stood booted and caped by theticket box and said quietly that we had two tick-ets to sell.

In a minute opera enthusiasts mobbed us likerock stars.

How could I sell a ticket to an aspiring singerwho had travelled all night in the hope of a ticket?

He had been in the queue, but you had to benear the top of the line to be successful.

I gave him a ticket and he swore his undyinglove to me.

We had one left, and I have to tell you that Icouldn’t resist the young girl who pleaded withus.

She also had been in the queue all night, so Igave her the ticket. She looked as if the price ofthe ticket was all she had to feed her for the week.

Friend not impressed■ My friend Caroline wasn’t too impressed withmy largesse, but we were in another world afterthe performance and she was pleased that the manto whom we had given the ticket came up andoffered to buy us coffee.

I reasoned that if you slept out in the street allnight, being sprayed with water as the street clean-ing machine drove by, you deserved tickets to hearDame Joan.

As I’m writing I’m recalling that night and thefun it was.

And my respect for the Police who let us kipthere all night providing we didn’t get boisterous.It was my first experience of negotiation with thePolice and the crowd in the queue.

At the end of each act we rushed to sit downwhile the rest of the audience filed out for cham-pagne and to stand up.

So sleeping out in the street for standing roomonly tickets, and too scared to shut an eye, willlet you know how much opera means to me.

About Alice ...■ I am a true opera lover. And then, this is wheremy awful conflict or dilemma comes in.

I love my Aunty Alice. I love visiting her ather house full of interesting things.

This wise woman helped me through the pe-riod after my mother died. In fact, it was as ifmum was channelling Aunty Alice, because onelook from her and I desisted from whatever devi-ous plan I was plotting.

She’s not really my aunt, but when I was young,any friend of the family was always given thehonorary title of aunty or uncle.

I don’t know if I would go along with that cus-tom now, because giving a friend that title givesthe child a feeling of confidence in aunt or uncleand stranger danger doesn’t apply.

Two different parties■ Aunt Alice has been in my life forever, and Isuspect she had a hand in my nurturing over theyears.

And bless her. She didn’t think I should be sentto boarding school, and for a while it was a sorepoint between the two friends.

My letters to her were never the same as tomy mother. In today’s parlance, she was a coolchick.

I always looked forward to a visit from her,and made sure that when she came for a meal atour house, the table over which we would lingerand discuss the day’s topics was set to perfec-tion.

Just to let her see I was keeping up their stan-dards now I was married.

The only topic we didn’t touch was politics.We were both active members of a party. Shesupports one party, me the other.

It was always a fascinating experience to talkto this dear lady.

You can understand my conflict when I re-ceived an invitation to the opening night ofOperamania and it was on the same night as auntAlice’s 90th birthday.

Operamania features Moscow Novaya Op-era soloists and orchestra with dancers from theImperial Russian ballet.

Peter and I saw the Moscow Ballet last timethey were in Melbourne, and I confess I didn’tsee much of the performance because I keptmaking sideline glances at our neighbouring coupletwo seats down.

It was a strong rumour at the radio station thata senior executive and a staff member were hav-ing an affair.

You wonder how these rumours start, but thisone was very strong around the Xerox machine.

Bursting the bubble■ It was only mentioned in asides because wecould imagine the consequences if he heard.

Well, there we were sitting in the front rowwith a program on my lap and I look to my leftand to my horror there was the exec. holding handswith our work colleague.

To say I had a hot flush well before my timewas an understatement.

Whispering to Peter that we would have toleave because of our neighbours, he told me notto look and enjoy the ballet. It was easier saidthan done.

The Exec knew that I had seen him and hisparamour, and my fear was that someone wouldblab and he would think I had told. Pulling out myfingernails would not have made me fuel therumour.

It took a while before someone caught them inan embrace, and then the bubble burst.

I would have walked to Hamer Hall to seeOperamania, but how could I disappoint this dearold lady who had been involved in so much of mylife.

Gifts for 90-year-olds■ My husband will usually give me options andthe decision is easy, but because he is also an

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013 - Page 15

opera lover, and he simply adores Aunt Alice,he left the decision to me.

Aunty Alice won, and I hope that Opera-mania makes a return visit to Melbourne.

It was lovely to see all her friends gather atthe party and of course how they paid court toher.

It’s hard to choose a gift for someone of herage, and one who is still as sharp as a tack.

I chose a pot of herbs because she still does allher own cooking, a couple of books and a fewinteresting bookmarks.

She loves books, and as I looked around at heroverflowing bookshelves with tomes on everysubject under the sun, I wondered who would havethe task of sorting through her library, which willbe one of mammoth proportions.

Knowing Aunty she will have stipulated whois to do what and what personal item she wouldlike them to have.

We should all have an Aunty Alice in ourlives.

Nelly’s Big Heart■ I’m glad Black Caviar has been retired. Iwould have hated her to be injured or to be beaten.And I didn’t want her to go overseas to race again.I never saw her race, but followed her career viathe media.

But I’m looking forward to when the ownerstell us that she is with foal and going to be a mum.

So, dear Nelly, you have given us enjoyment,and now it’s time to retire and be happy for therest of your life watching over your foals.

I’ll never forget you, and will talk about yourwinning streak just as those who saw Phar Laprun.

By the way Nelly, I don’t think you have a bigbum despite what your trainers say. Just a bigheart.

It’s a good move■ Finally, I support gay marriage, and congratu-late New Zealand’s decision.

Yvonne.Contact: Melbourne Observer

P.O. Box 1278, Research,3095

Special $99 annual offer ... only today (Wed.) and FridayFor two days only, you can order a Melbourne Observer

45-edition mail subscription for just $99 (normally $213.75).Phone 1-800 231 311 - and pay by Visa, Mastercard

or American Express. We will start you mail subscription(to anywhere in Australia) immediately.

ObserverMelbourne

... and farewellto Black Caviar

... and farewellto Black Caviar

Page 16: Melbourne Observer. 130424A. April 24, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-16

www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPage 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 24, 2013