Me and MY ‘Captain Spark’

==============================Uddalak Banerjee

ALL CONVERSATIONS IN THIS STORY ARE REAL .

In the just concluded week I had to visit my ancestral home at sanghata para,birbhum bordering ‘ akhira village’ .This story is of my nephew who is 11 years old and his views of life.I thoroughly enjoyed my moments of stay there.All conversation have been directly provided in hindi but English translation has also been provided in brackets[:::].

Central characters:

Captain spark- Sagnik chatterjee(ABha chatterji’s son (my aunt))

i-uddalak banerjee( and needs no introduction)

jeet- Jeet Banerjee(Sanchu Banerji(my aunt)’s son)

Mouli –Mouli Chatterji(Trishna Chatterji(my aunt)’s daughter)

Barsha –barsha banerjee(Meenu auntys daughter)

Shubho-loknath banerjee(Chandan uncles son)

Ayon-Ayon chaterji(Putul auntys son)

“babu dada tumi naki talgacher cheyeo lamba…ta koi go?[:::Babu dada I heard u are taller than Palmyra tree..but I don’t see so !]”,said captain on seeing me.

I said ,”he he he…to thik ache to ..tate ashuvida ki ache?…[:::he he he …it is alright ..what is the problem in that ]”

Captain spark,”babu dada tumi delhi plane e jao? (pause)Ta plane e bathroom ache???[Babu dada u go by aeroplane to delhi? (pause) There is bathroom in aeroplane???]”

I said ,”ha ache[::: yes ]”

Captain spark,”Ta babudada plane theke paikhana niche loker mathai pare???????[:::So the latrine drops from the air to the face of people who are travelling below?”

I said,”ha ha hah aha ha ha ha ha”

Jeet laughed out loud,”he he he …….tor mathai porbe ji..tu ha kore jakhon dekhbi takhon I top kore eshe porbe puro mukhete..[ :::he he he ….it will fall on you head …the moment u open ur mouth and see towards the sky ..it will fall and drop straight to your face]”

I said ,”ha ha ha ha..are ote reservoir thake..tai kakhono hoi je upar theke paikhana porche barshar mato lal sabuj halde..he he he [:::there are reservoirs in the planes they accumulate them ..it never happens that it is raining latrine from the air red green yellow ..he he he]”

Captain spark,”ha ha ha ..ta babu dada..ekta galpo balo[:::ha ha ha ..ok ..Babu dada tell me a story]”

I said,”Ami jani na galpo..tui shuru kar..ar haricane ta amar kache rakh…jaldi de …na dile katu kutu dewa je shuru korbo baba mar naam bhule jabi hehe …[::I don’t know any stories ..u start…push the lantern towards me…do it fast or else I would tickle u so much that u would forget the name of your mom and dad..he he he”

Captain Spark,”Ekta chilo beral..ar ekta chilo dewal..dewal ta beral er upar pore gelo ar biral ta more gelo…to bas note gachti murolo..shesh galpo..he he he[:::there was a cat and there was a wall..the wall fell on the cat and the cat died …and the story ends here.. he he he he]

I said ,”ok listen..ekta chele chilo tar naam chilo madan..madan shudu hagto ar kheto..kheto ar hagto…khawar o shesh nai ar hagar o shesh nai ..[:::ok listen..there was a boy ..whose name was madan..madan used to do only two things. latrine and eat….he used to continueously eat and do latrine…and the cycle used to continue indefinitely”

Jeet ,”ha ha ha ha”

Captain spark,”he he he.majir batar mato?[:::he he he he ..just like that fisherman’s son?]””

I continued,”he he he…to tarpar ki holo….ekdin or jor gas holo…bhatam kore ja gas dilo..[:::he he he ..after that ..oneday he had a big gastric problem..and with a big sound the gas came out of his intestine]”

Captain spark with finger at his nose said,”chi chi chi …chi …che…he he he hehe he ehehehehheheehheehehehehehhe”

Jeet ,”padhhhhhhh… offfffho.he he he he he he he he he hehehe”

Mouli,”he ehe hehehheheheehe…”

Ayon,”he he heh eheh”

Shubho,”he he hehe”

After about 15 minutes the laughter finally ended.The lantern light had grown further dim.

Ayon ,”babu dada..light chole ashbe roj 5tai jai ar 6:30 te chole ashe..ekta bhuter galpo bolo[:::babu dada ..loadsheding would end soon..it happens every day at 5 pm and comes back at 6:30..tell a ghost story]”

I readily said,”ok ek chilo bhoot..se ekdam dedar bhut..baro baro chokh..sada kapor pore ..oije dure gach deckchis or magdale thakto..[ok..once upon a time there used to be a bhoot..he was a real ghostly ghost…white attire..big red eyes …he used to live in the tree top of that distant tree..]”

Jeet,”tarpar”

I continued,”tarpar ar ki..tarpar ekdin dekhi je oi bhoot ta khubtare telebhaja khache[one day I saw that ghost to sit on the top of that tree and eat cookies.]”

Jeet,”sotti???????bhute abar telebhaja khai?[really!???? Ghosts also eat cookies????]”

I continued,”tarpar khawa dawa howar par na..o giye oi baritar chade giye boshechilo.[after completing his meal he went and sat on the top of the distant house]”

Ayon,”tarpar?”

I continued,”tarpar abar ki…sei barita ek telebhajar dokandar thakto…[a cookie seller use to live in that house”

Ayon started to look towards the others and the lanturn light began to flicker.

Jeet started to look at his thread and with an unassured smile said to all,”Are tora amake dore thakbhi..amar sathe sathe thakbi..amar poite hoegeche…amake bhute kichu korte parbe na [:::Everybody stay close to me..i have a brahmin now and I have a thread..so the ghost cant hurt me anymore]“

Mouli smiled and said,”tui tham..tarpar..babudada tarpar[:: you stop…babu dada what happened next?”.

I continued,”tarpar ar ki..sei telebhaja ola ta chilo khub dustu… choto cheleder thekeo paisa nito roj….bhutta khap kore oke dorlo ar top kore oke niye abar magdalo chole gelo..tarpar theke ar kau dekheni .oi telebhaja ola ke..ami o na.[:::then what? That cookie seller was very naughty ..he used to take more money from small children while selling cookies…then that ghost caught that cookie seller and returned to the top most branch of that tree and ever since that day ..no body has ever seen that cookie seller]”

Captain spark,”ja tai abar hoi..bhut bole kichu hoi na ji! Amar dadu boleche bhut dekhle bolte “bhut amar put patni amar ji..ram lokhon sathe ache bhoi ta amar ki ..tahole bhut paliye jai..!babudada sotti kin a bolo?[:::hey that cannot be true..there is nothing called ghost…my grand father had said that once u see a ghost just utter the following rhymes,” “bhut amar put patni amar ji..ram lokhon sathe ache bhoi ta amar ki”..then the ghost will run away..(pause) babudada isn’t this rhyme true?”

I said ,”thik ache ..to ek kaj kor…tui..akla ..ja oi gach tar niche..ar ek bar jakhiye chole aay..amra ekhan theke deckchi..[:::ok then u do one thing…go to that place and shake the tree..we will stay here and watch what happens]”

Captain spark,”babare ..jodi bhut e dore takhon?[:::o my god..what if the ghost catches me?]”

I said ,”tui I to bolli je bhut e dhorbe na toke jakhon tui rhyme ta porbi…tahole I jana jabe rhyme ta sotti kina[::: it was you who just said that the ghost wont touch u once u enchant those rhymes..once u go there and utter the rhymes then only it can be ascertained whether the rhymes are correct or not]”

Mauli,” he he he !kire bir purush…jabi to ja..[:::he he he what happened brave man..go if u want ..]”

Captain spark,”ekta lathi niye jabo?[:::will I take a stick with me?]”

I said ,”ja nite chas niye ja..bhuter sathe lathi khela..he he he he eheh ehehhe[:::take whatever u want to take with u…stick fight with ghost…hehe he hehehehehehe”

Captain spark,”na pet ta khub kharap kharap korche…aaj thak[::::my stomach is not working correctly today..lets leave it for the day…”

Barsha,”ha ha ha hah..”

Shubho,”bas ..hawa bariye gelo..kire??????????[:::what happened? It has knocked the air out of your sails”

Captain spark,:”subho tui boro boro kotha bolbi na..tui ki parbi bolchis je…korish to pash balishe roj hishi…huh![:::shubho don’t talk big..can u go and do it ..that u are asking me to do it…at night u do toilet on the bed still now..huh!]”

Shubho,”babu dada tumi bhuter sathe marpit korte parba?[::: babu dada can u fight with the ghost?]”

I said,”pagol bhuter sathe kau pare…..Khali o parbe na…[::: are u mad…nobody can beat a ghost..not even khali]”

On the day I was coming back I watched that tree while coming towards railway station by rickshaw.Captain spark was crying a lot back home.As I was passing the tree a bird from the dense part flew away high into the air.The tree was a bit dark and dense .I was wondering whether there really was a ghost living there.