May 19, 2015

• Entry task: What is engagement?

• Target: Identify engagement and warning signs.

Marriage Preparation the Foundation of Marriage!

Engagement

Seven Predictors of a successful relationship

1. Dating for at least one year2. Financial stability3. Personal stability4. Parental approval5. Similar attitudes about birth control and

children6. Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic

backgrounds7. Ability to communicate

Engaged to Be….

....married, of course! It goes without saying that engagement is a statement of intention to marry, but there are other, perhaps less obvious, functions of engagement as well???

Engagement ???

• Establish Yourselves as a Couple

• Spend Time Together• Get to Know Each

Other Better• Observer Each Other in

a Variety of Situations• Discover Similarities

and Differences

• Seek Counsel or Advice

• Arrange for a place to live

• Plan the Wedding• Reconsider the

Marriage if Necessary

Are you Ready for Commitment?

Do You Know Yourself?

•Expectations

•Idiosyncrasies

•Values

•Goals

What Do You Have in Common?

•Beliefs

•Dreams

•Interests

•Activities

Do You Know Your Loved One?

•Life Plans

•Priorities

•Attitudes

•Habits

Seeing DoubleAs a single person, you think with your own individual point of view. As a Married Person, you must adjust to being part of a

couple. You must think in terms of “we” not just “I”. The challenge is to learn to see things as a couple while maintaining

your own individuality at the same time.I want We wantI will We willI need We needI wish We wishI should We shouldI Expect We expectI plan We plan

I You

US

+

What might Happen to a couple who cannot make this adjustment?

=

Engagement Warning Signs

A successful engagement is one that either confirms the wish to marry or the fact that marriage would be a mistake. While breaking an engagement is not easy, it is far better than entering a lifetime commitment with serious doubts.

WARNING This marriage may be Hazardous to

your Happiness!• Too much Dependency on one person• Great Differences in Values, Goals, Expectations• Lack of Family Approval and Support• Excesses – Drug, Alcohol, etc.• Abusive Behavior• Brief Acquaintance• Frequent Quarrels or Fights• Guilt or Pressure Motivations to Marry• Personal History of Frequent Changes (Jobs, Friends, Etc)• Under Eighteen or Shows signs of Immaturity

How much do weddings cost?

•Weddings?

• $26,951 (*The Knot: $29,800)

• Honeymoon?

• $3,600

• Engagement ring?

• $4,630

Average Cost…

• Wedding dress: $1,124

Average Cost

• Cake: $591

Average Cost

• Rings: $6113 bride (includes bride's ring and band) and $468 (for the groom)

Average Cost

• Photographer: $2,307

Average Cost

• Flowers: $1,971

Average Cost

• DJ: $782

Average Cost

• Reception: $13,106

Average Cost

• Venue: $1,993

Average Cost

• Invitations: $368

Average Cost

• Catering: $59 per guest X 150 = $8,850

Average Cost

• Center pieces: DIY - $273 Hired - $988

Average Cost

• Wedding bouquet: $108

Average Cost

• Tuxedo: $141

Average Cost

• Wedding favors: $281

Average Cost

• Bridal party gifts: “Something between $75 and $125 should suffice”

• 6 bridesmaids

• 6 groomsmen

• 12x$75=$900

Average Cost

• Hair and makeup: $150

• Do you want your bridesmaids and mother?

• 6 bridesmaids, mother and bride X $150 =$900

Average Cost

• Rehearsal dinner (typically paid for by the grooms family): $1,100

Average Cost

• Grooms cake: $200

Average Cost

• Prenuptial agreement: $780

So, who pays for this anyway?

• Traditionally– Brides family pays for ceremony and reception and

brunch– Grooms family pay for rehearsal dinner

• Now– Bride and groom pay for the event 33% of the time.