Helping our children become the leaders of tomorrow.

MASTERING THE ART OF POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

& INFLUENCE

www.RealJaco.com

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

Praise is one of the best tools at a leader’s disposal.

“Few things are more effective in influencing others

than praise.” – Bill Walsh

“Any behavior that is instantly gratifying

(makes a person feel good about themselves)

will be repeated.” – Steve Wynn

“Catch them when they are good!” -Dr. Ivan Joseph,

Award-Winning Coach, Director of Athletics at Ryerson University

“A true leader brings out the greatness that lies within each

human being, and enables individuals to put that greatness into practice consistently. Leaders influence themselves and others to do, be, give and become more than they ever

thought possible.” – Tony Robbins

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

Objective: to Master the Art of Positive Communication

Inspire and influence others through positive language

Leaders are people who:

Know how to achieve goals.

Inspire others to become the best they can be.

Inspire others to become more of who they truly are.

Inspire teams to work together toward a common goal.

“As coaches, leaders, teachers and parents we’re

trying to bring individuals up to their highest level of competence.”

- John Wooden

“Any behavior that is instantly gratifying (makes a person feel good about themselves)

will be repeated.”

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

5 Keys to Success

1. Praise is one of the best tools at a leader’s disposal.

“Praising a child or team is the simplest and most effective thing we can do to boost confidence and reward behavior that we want repeated.”

2. Preparation and planning for all possible outcomes is critical.

“Preparation and planning, the more thorough, the more extensive, the more rehearsed

you and your team are, for any situation, the better you perform under the pressure of

any situation that calls for an immediate decision or response.”

3. Leadership is about the example you set and the culture you create.

“Others follow you based on the quality of your actions rather than the words that come

out of your mouth.”

4. Your enthusiasm is contagious and essential to teaching.

“Your enthusiasm becomes their enthusiasm; your average presentation becomes their average interest in what you’re offering….When the audience is bored, it’s not their fault.”

5. Use the four most powerful words in a leader’s arsenal.

“You need to stretch people to help them achieve their full potential…the most powerful way to do this is by having the courage to say, “I believe in you.” These four words constitute the most inspirational message a leader can convey.”

Praise is one of the best tools at a leader’s disposal.

“Few things are more effective in influencing others mood and future behavior than praise.”

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

Consistently use positive language:

Catch kids when they’re good

Reward them for the behavior you want repeated

Increase self-esteem

Examples

If David isn’t passing the ball correctly, striking the ball with the correct part of the foot when shooting or performing an agility drill with proper form; our goal is to teach David without demoralizing him, without lowering his confidence.

a) “David that was a good shot but if you strike the ball with this part of your foot, you will shoot a little

harder”

If David says that’s how Coach John showed us to do it. Ignore David’s response, it doesn’t matter if he’s right or wrong, the goal is to teach him to do it correctly. Speak, softly, “would you like me to show you how Ronaldo does it? How Messi does it”, “let’s try it again, excellent!!!”

b) Ignore David altogether, and catch Johnny doing it well and describe step by step what Johnny did well,

so David and others can hear you and see how it’s performed correctly.. Johnny great control with your

first touch, then turning and dribbling with your head up, then making that perfect pass to Joe.

Objective: for David and others to see how to perform the drill correctly and that the specific behavior

gets rewarded. Result, we’ve successfully demonstrated for the team the correct way to perform and

that behavior that gets rewarded (incentive for them to perform this action), we haven’t hurt David’s

self-confidence by pointing out he wasn’t doing it correctly. And we’ve simultaneously boosted Johnny’s

confidence.

Reward kids when they are paying attention

If we have a student who consistently doesn’t pay attention.

Instead of catching him when he’s not paying attention.

a) Catch him when he is paying attention, “Catch him when he’s good”:

o If Johnny only pays attention 10 minutes out of an hour, catch him during those 10 minutes:

Pull Johnny to the side, thank him for paying attention, ask him if he can do that the rest of

practice – then thank him for “paying attention” at the end of practice.

b) Ignore the 2-3 kids that aren’t paying attention, and call out the player that is paying attention,

“Tamara, Thank you for your attention”

c) Or if David, Samuel & Julius aren’t paying attention, “David, Samuel, Julius, Thank you for your

attention”

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

When starting a new drill, it’s our job to capture kids imagination with great storytelling, show

your enthusiasm & excitement; inspire them to want to perform their best!

“Gentlemen you are going to love this drill, this is the drill used by….Real Madrid” “Gentlemen you are going to love this drill, this is one of Messi’s favorite drills”

“Gentlemen you are going to love this drill, this is one is fun and is going to score a lot of goals for us” “Are you guys ready?”

Demonstrate step by step how to do the drill perfectly.

Praise them when they do it well.

If you want kids to run hard during a drill, many drills are competitive where they’re racing another player or team, but even when they are not racing, we can

still inspire them to sprint and perform at a high level:

“Once you pass the ball, sprint like you’re Messi to the next line” (Rooney, Ronaldo, Neymar)

“After you pass the ball, sprint to the next line and show us how fast you are”

Of course, then praise them when they sprint to the next line

Ask good questions when a child is exhibiting negative behavior:

“Johnny, please share with me, why you did that?” “Is that what you’re supposed to be doing?”

Is that the way we speak to our teammates? “provide phrase you’d like them to use, Johnny I’d

like it you said….

Take two minutes to think about what would have been a better way to respond, come tell me

how you will better respond next time, and then you can get back into line with the team.

Most of the time they know the answer and can correct themselves

(Your tone of voice and body language are critical to this message resulting in the desired effect.

Be calm, use deliberate, decisive words, keep the message short and sweet, don’t yak, don’t give

them a moral essay, be clear about that you want, what the incentive is, and what the

consequence is for non-compliance)

*Use judgement whether to ask questions in public or private (private typically best)

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

The Challenge: Using Positive Language,

under stress, under the most difficult situations

Most coaches, teachers, and parents already do an exceptional job of using praise and positive communication when players are performing well and we want to continue doing that

consistently.

The challenge is to influence the kids using positive language when they’re being disruptive, exhibiting negative behavior or performing a drill or technique incorrectly. We want to correct

the behavior without demoralizing them or lowering confidence.

Example

Ignore Tommy when he’s being disruptive or not paying attention, and catch Joe while he’s paying attention, and thank Joe publicly or catch Joe shooting with perfect form, describe step by step what Joe did well, so Tommy and others can hear it and see it. Goal: for Tommy and others to see Joe being praised for paying attention or being praised for shooting with perfect form, our

goal: to inspire others to mirror Joe’s behavior and not demoralize Tommy, by pointing out he wasn’t doing it correctly. And at the same time we’ve boosted Joe’s confidence.

With everything we do, everything we say, we want to increase self-confidence.

Kids want attention.

They prefer positive attention but if they do not get positive attention, negative attention is the next best thing. The key is to acknowledge and reward the behavior we want repeated.

And when possible ignore negative behavior (don’t give them attention for negative behavior, when possible, we do not want that behavior repeated).

Mastering the art of positive communication and influence doesn’t solely include the words you use. It includes: your tone of voice, body language, and

learning how to create positive change in yourself and everyone you interact with.

Investing in The US Oil Boom | Chris Jarvis

Praise is one of the best tools at a leader’s disposal.

“Few things are more effective in influencing others

than praise.” – Bill Walsh

“Any behavior that is instantly gratifying

(makes a person feel good about themselves)

will be repeated.” – Steve Wynn

“Catch them when they are good!” -Dr. Ivan Joseph,

Award-Winning Coach, Director of Athletics at Ryerson University

“A true leader brings out the greatness that lies within each

human being, and enables individuals to put that greatness into practice consistently. Leaders influence themselves and others to do, be, give and become more than they ever

thought possible.” – Tony Robbins

ACADEMY OF LEADERSHIP

& FUTBOL

www.RealJaco.com

“As coaches, leaders, teachers and parents

we’re trying to bring individuals up to their

highest level of competence.” – John Wooden