A Publication Of Jesus Family Outreach August 2016 No 132

Every believer is expected to pattern his or her life according to the word of God. We are called to live for our Saviour and not for ourselves, family or friends. In this light, the Christian's marriage should be based on the word of God and not just the culture of his tribe and race. Where culture clashes with Bible truth, culture has to be abandoned and the word of God upheld and applied. In this way the world we live in will be positively affected, reformed and changed to the glory of God. But unfortunately, many Christians today do not uphold the word of God as the ultimate truth and final authority on every subject especially on marital issues in relation to culture and traditions of the tribes and race they come from.

When a man gives his life to Christ, he by the grace and power of the living Christ is removed from the kingdom of this world and brought into the Kingdom of our Christ and Saviour. Though he lives in this world, he does not belong to this world system, so he is expected not to conform any longer to the pattern of this world (including his tribal and race beliefs and traditions as far as it concerns marriage and family life), but learn God's truth about life, relationships, marriage and family life and put the same to practice.

2 Cor 5:1717 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.KJV

Rom 12:22 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.KJV

Not all traditions and beliefs of our various tribes and races are evil and contradictory to the scriptures. We are only expected to reject and turn away from any and every belief and practices of our people that contradict and clash with scriptures and Christian beliefs. We are called to live for God's glory.

Rev 4:1111 Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.KJV

2 Cor 5:1515 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.KJVThe believer's ultimate mandate is to live for God's glory as God planned it before He made man. This is also the essence of man's salvation through the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. We live for God. We live for Jesus Christ. Therefore, our marriages (from finding a partner, marriage ceremonies to the role of each person in the relationship and family, how we treat each other and family relations and every other marriage and family matters) is to be in agreement with the teachings of the Bible.

It is the teaching of the Bible that the wife should be loved by the husband. This implies that the wife should be treated nicely, respected, shown great affection, protected from relatives, outsiders and the enemy. It is the teaching of the Bible that the wife should be cared for and not be cheated against.

Eph 5:2121 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.KJV

Eph 5:25-3125 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own

flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.KJV

Prov 5:18-2018 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? NIV

Mal 2:14-1614 You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not [the Lord] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. NIV

Gen 2:18, 20-2218 The Lord God said, "It is not good for

MARRY ACCORDING TO GOD'S WORDAND NOT ACCORDING TO YOUR CULTURE

the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 20 But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. NIV

The wife is a helper, partner, friend and the other half of the man. She is to be heard, loved, cared for, and treated nicely and with respect. She is to be honoured before all by the husband irrespective of what your tradition is about women and wives. The wife is not be looked upon as, or treated as an object, property bought with money or given as a gift for a service rendered or as a favour. The wife is not to be seen as a slave or treated as such. She is supposed to be by the side of her husband as his partner and helper in life. The wife is not to be humiliated before relatives and friends to show the husband is in control. The wife is not to be given inhuman and degrading treatment at any time, including mourning time for her in-laws or husband based on the traditions and beliefs of your people. The wife is not to go through any fetish, demonic and idolatrous ritual or ceremony to establish marriage or induction into the married women social group or during the husband's or father in-law's death and burial rites. The word of God must be the believer's guide in his relationship with his wife, how she is projected and presented to the family and public, and duties and role in the home and family.

There are so many tribes and cultures with outrageous beliefs and practices that are

at variance with the word of God. A Christian who comes from a community where the culture is that the man must give his wife to his friend that visits his home to sleep with as an entertainment and proof of acceptance as a friend, should not practice such because the Bible calls it adultery. Those who come from cultures where they give their daughters to guests to entertain them should flee from such practices. There are many practices of different communities, tribes and races that clash with scriptures that must be stopped and abandoned by the believer. God is counting on you to be the Light and the Salt to your people (Matt 5:13-16). Yes, they may persecute you for it, but you must stand for your Saviour and Lord.

You need to take a closer look at the beliefs and practices of your people, and check your Bible to see what the scripture says about such practices. Whatever you find in conflict with the scriptures and the life of Christ that you have, you must turn away from it and refuse to disobey God no matter the pressure from your people. If you are not sure what the scripture says about a particular practice of your people, please see your Pastor and discuss it with him. Live for God.

1 Peter 3:1-73 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel — 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned

themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. NKJV

1. Marry your wife according to the Bible. Look upon her and treat her the way the scriptures enjoin us to.2. Marry your husband according to the Bible. Love and submit to him. Do not attempt to usurp his position of authority. Do not nag him. Be a helper and not a trouble maker to him. Let your voice be heard in making useful suggestions in the spirit of humility and submission, but do not raise your voice against him.3. Raise your children according to the Bible. Teach them the values the scripture teaches. Train them to love and follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Raise them to be truthful, hard working, humble, respectful, positive, and gentle and live for God.4. Relate with family, community and friends in accordance with the Bible. Participate in general activities, festivals and social functions with your eyes on the word of God. Practices that clash with the scriptures should be stayed away from no matter the criticism you may receive. Any practice that is tied to idolatry should be stayed away from. Uphold and participate only in things that are in agreement with the life of Jesus and do not contradict the scriptures.5. Stand by the word of God at all times. Uphold the truth. Live for Jesus Christ your Lord and Saviour. Do not fear persecution. Let the word change you – your knowledge, attitude and marital behaviour towards your spouse. Do not live to please your people. Live and do all things to please and honour your Saviour and Lord.

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Single’s Corner

1. The atmosphere you create determines your experience.2. Don't give your ears to gossip. What you hear repeatedly, you

will eventually believe. Please read proverbs 26:20-28.3. Never allow what people say about your spouse to form your

opinion about him or her.4. Never allow what people say about you to change your

scriptural opinion of yourself. You are who God says you are. You have what God says you have. You can do what God says you can do.

5. Never allow what people say to change your godly principles upon which your marriage and relationship is built.

6. What you think of your partner is more important than what people think about him or her.

7. Like the soil to seeds, so also the mind to words.8. Give your mind to what will enhance love, unity, happiness and

celebration in your home.9. Guard your mind with all diligence.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life”.

(Prov.4: 23)

Life is a blend of negative and positive experiences. Sometimes expectations are met and sometimes they are not. When expectations are not met, the heart of man becomes sick – the man becomes disillusioned, depressed and discouraged, and in some cases, filled with bitterness.

Prov 13:1212 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. NIV

However, God does not want His people to be sickened in heart, so He encourages us to focus our minds on Him and His word so we will remain strong while we wait on Him to perfect all that concern us.

Heb 10:35-3935 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38 But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." 39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. NIV

It is important that we come to terms with the truth that patience is required in obtaining the precious promises of God and seeing our desires come through for us. No one wants to wait for a long time before his or her desires come to pass. But there is nothing that we can do except to pray and trust the Lord to work things out for us.

Heb 6:1212 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. NIV

When expectations are not coming to pass, we must wait patiently on God whom we continually call upon to help us and bring to pass our heart desires.

· To wait is to stay on until something happens – till someone comes. · To wait on God is to wait until God shows up and performs what He has promised or the expectation of the waiter's heart.

One thing we know is that God will never abandon us. He promised not to leave or abandon us when we need Him. He is committed to our happiness. The scriptures teach and shows us through many real life stories that God desires that we be happy and fulfilled in life. God is committed to your wellbeing. He is committed to your marriage. He wants you married and happy. If you have not connected yet to a life partner, do not despair, God is on your case and soon you will be settled. That it has not happened does not mean it will not happen or that God has abandoned you.

What to do while waiting1. Develop strong and stable faith in God. It takes faith to move God and make the impossible possible. It takes faith to change an adverse situation. It takes faith to win spiritual warfare. It takes faith to move from one experience to another. If the delay is as a result of demonic attack on your person, it will take stable faith in God to achieve victory and get married. Settle down to study and meditate on the word of God to develop strong and stable faith. Attend church regularly to hear and learn the word of God that builds faith. Daily meditate on the word of God to gain faith in your quiet time. Rather than worry and trouble yourself over marriage, encourage yourself with the word of God by mediating on it to gain strength and encouragement.

2. Stay calm and avoid worry. Worry is the opposite or sign of unbelief or weak faith. Encourage yourself in the word of God. Sing and make music in your heart always. When worry sets in, resist it. Quickly remove your mind from it and focus it on other things that inspire and give you joy.

3. Get yourself ready for marriage by improving your person and polishing your character. So many people are concerned about the fact they are not yet engaged to be married or that no one is even showing interest, but they never check their lives to see if they are sending a negative signal to prospective suitors by their lifestyle and character. You need to check yourself and work on areas of weaknesses someone complained about or you have noticed can cause problem in your relationship when you eventually get into one. Take note of the weakness or weaknesses your family members have complained about. Take note of the ones your friends and colleagues have complained about. Take note of the weaknesses that has caused you trouble before at school, the office, in public, in church, in your previous relationships. Go to work on them to improve your person. God is pleased with those who are continually working on their person to improve and better their lives.

4. Do not wear a long and sad face for it will drive people away from you. Be cheerful and happy always. Manifest a pleasant and attractive face and personality. Do not allow your circumstance to weigh you down and express itself through your countenance.

5. Make yourself visible. Participate regularly in church services and activities and social functions where evil is not tolerated. Do not withdraw from the crowd because of frustration and anger. Live life as a believer who is expecting a divine visitation.

6. Do not be envious of others who are in a relationship. Do not criticize or badmouth others in relationship. Be happy for them, and soon you will be in your own relationship.

WAITING ON GOD

This book will deepen your love for your spouse and help you achieve peace in your home. It is a manual for those planning to get married.

Get your copy at our church office or visit our websiteto purchase a copy.www.jfoutreach.org

and happy person in slavery and later in prison. He was fun to be with. He was always encouraging and motivating others. He showed us how to live life in adverse circumstance. Husband or no husband, wife or no wife, be happy. Enjoy your life.

9. Knock on God's door through service. Give your time to working for the Lord. The Lord Jesus in Matthew 7:7 taught us the three ways of receiving things from God. He taught us to ask, seek and knock. One of the ways we knock on God's door to get His attention or move Him to attend to us urgently in sacrificial service. Give your time to work for God at your Church and community and before you know it, you will have your answer. Knock daily. Knock and keep knocking. Serve and keep serving. Be a blessing. This was what brought Joseph out of prison to the palace. He served others. He served Pharaoh's chief cup bearer and chief baker, later he was called upon to serve Pharaoh himself. His service gave him the job of prime minister though getting the job was not on his mind when he interpreted Pharaoh's dream and gave counsel of how to benefit from the dream. In the same way, serve and keep serving and very soon God will make all things right and you will be in your matrimonial home.

7. Continue in prayers until God settles you. Pray rather than worry. Pray rather than cry. Pray rather than complain and grumble. Rather than think about your age and all those getting married, pray. Prayers changes things, but complaining and worry does not. Prayer relaxes a man while worry stresses him up and takes away the shine from life. Fast from time to time as you see the need for it. Pray in faith. Stand against any evil power against your marriage. In faith call forth your life partner to come to you in the name of the Lord.

8. Choose to be happy in life whether you get married or not. Happiness is by choice. If you wait for everything to be as they are supposed to before you become happy, you will never be happy. God expects us to be joyful at all times no matter what we go through in life. Choose to be happy while you wait for your life partner to show up. Nobody wants to be with a sad looking person. Everyone wants someone who inspires happiness, whose countenance is pleasant and sparks up joy in the heart. Everyone wants to spend time with a happy person. Decide to be happy even if marriage is not to be. Make your life count. Joseph was a cheerful

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th4 Sept. (Sunday) – Couple's Night – 5:00pmth4 Sept. (Sunday) – Couple's Night – 5:00pmth5 Sept. (Monday) – Worker's Retreat – 6:00pmth5 Sept. (Monday) – Worker's Retreat – 6:00pmth

6 Sept. (Tuesday) – Single's Conference – 6:00pmth

6 Sept. (Tuesday) – Single's Conference – 6:00pm

th4 Sept. (Sunday) – Couple's Night – 5:00pmth5 Sept. (Monday) – Worker's Retreat – 6:00pmth

6 Sept. (Tuesday) – Single's Conference – 6:00pm

th7 Sept. (Wednesday) – Praise & Power Night – 6:00pm

th7 Sept. (Wednesday) – Praise & Power Night – 6:00pm

th th8 – 10 Sept. (Thursday – Saturday) – General Session – 9:00am & 6:00pmth th8 – 10 Sept. (Thursday – Saturday) – General Session – 9:00am & 6:00pmth11 Sept. (Sunday) – Celebration Service – 8:00amth11 Sept. (Sunday) – Celebration Service – 8:00am

th7 Sept. (Wednesday) – Praise & Power Night – 6:00pm

th th8 – 10 Sept. (Thursday – Saturday) – General Session – 9:00am & 6:00pmth11 Sept. (Sunday) – Celebration Service – 8:00am

Raymond Okolie

Raymond Okolie

Raymond Okolie David EdjehDavid EdjehDavid Edjeh Bishop Ben Abi

Bishop Ben AbiBishop Ben Abi

Enoch AliEnoch AliEnoch Ali

Marriage is your life till death. Marriage can bring happiness or pain depending on how you relate with your partner. Enduring and peaceful marriage is possible if the biblical principles for successful and blissful marriage are practiced with diligence and passion. Understanding of the marriage institution, positive attitude to your partner and marriage, and a godly character are the three most important requirements for successful and blissful marriage.

This book will deepen your love for your spouse and help you achieve peace in your home. It is a manualfor those planning to get married.

Get your copy at our church office or visit our websiteto purchase a copy.www.jfoutreach.org