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Married & Alone · pendix). May your healing be a gift you give to yourself and those you love. You...
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Transcript of Married & Alone · pendix). May your healing be a gift you give to yourself and those you love. You...
Married & AloneThe Twelve Step Guide
Table of Contents
Intro 5
Step One 7 Step Two 21 Step Three 33 Step Four 43 Step Five 55 Step Six 63 Step Seven 75 Step Eight 83 Step Nine 91 Step Ten 101 Step Eleven 105 Step Twelve 111
Appendix 117
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Intro
Intr
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The Twelve-Steps have helped millions of people recover from addictions such as alcohol, drugs, food, sex and many other addictions. These same Twelve-Steps have brought help and healing to the spouses and family members of addicts as well. This workbook takes you thoughtfully through your own personal healing from the affects of living with an Intimacy Anorexic. These steps will allow you to work at your own pace and with as many others from Married & Alone Twelve-Step support groups as you would like involved. Some Twelve-Step groups use this workbook for their step studies.
Our hope is that you will experience healing and strength as you take your personal journey toward recovery in the areas of your life that your spouse’s Intimacy Anorexia has robbed you of, so that you can once again experience more joy in living. Other recovery resources that may help you in your recovery are also available through Heart to Heart Counseling Center (See Ap-pendix). May your healing be a gift you give to yourself and those you love. You can contact us in the following manner.
Heart to Heart Counseling CenterP.O. Box 51055Colorado Springs, CO 80949 [email protected]
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1
We admitted we were powerless over our spouse’s Intimacy Anorexia and that our lives
had become unmanageable.
We
We is one of the most essential words in the Twelve-Steps. Often you may think you are the only one who is going through this crazy lifestyle with an Intimacy Anorexic spouse. You may have consciously or unconsciously isolated yourselves for years feeling married, yet alone. Now you have come to a step that requires you to be part of a group.
What are some of the fears you have about becoming part of a recovering group?
1. ___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
What are some of the hopes and expectations you have as you enter into a group?
1. ___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
We also means that you are finally not alone. You now have other caring people who have suffered some of the same hurts and who carry similar fears. You are now finally understood. When others in this group say, “I know what you mean and I know how you feel,” you know you can believe them.
Step
One
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Have you come to a place where you shared some of your story and you felt accepted by a group?
Yes _____ No _____
If you answered yes to the previous question, briefly write this experience of being understood as it relates to your recovery.
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
If you believe you cannot write anything in the above space, list your reasons for not having opened up in the presence of other spouses who are also healing from the affects of Intimacy Anorexia.
1. __________________________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
If you were able to identify any of these issues, take them to your group, discuss them and record your feedback here.
1. ___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________________
Admitted
Admitting can be a difficult thing to do. This can mean that in your sanest moments you finally will verbalize what you know to be true about yourself and your own situation. What are some of the things you have accepted about yourself or your situation as a spouse of an Intimacy Anorexic?
1. ___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
Step
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3. ____________________________________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________________________________
If you answered yes to the previous question, briefly write this experience of being understood as it relates to your recovery.
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
If you believe you cannot write anything in the above space, list your reasons for not having opened up in the presence of other spouses who are also healing from the affects of their spouse’s Intimacy Anorexia.
1. ____________________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________________
If you were able to identify any of these issues, take them to your group, discuss them and record your feedback here.
1. ____________________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________________________________
How do you feel now that you have admitted these things to yourself?
I feel ___________________________________________________.
I feel ___________________________________________________.
I feel ___________________________________________________.
How long has it taken you to admit these things to yourself?_____________________________
Step
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Step
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