MarriageToday Magazine - Summer 2008

s u m m e r 2 0 0 8

the blessingof disciplineby Jimmy Evans

30making lasting thingsthe main thingby Jimmy Evans

20ten yearsby Brenton Evans10

™

m a g a z i n e

35 yearstogether

Jimmy & Karen Evans

choose from:Marriage on the Rockhardcover bookBK01H .......................$19.95

CD series10 Sessions on 5 CDsCD011.......................$29.95

DVD series10 Sessions on 5 DVDsDVD01 .......................$99.95

new!The Marriage on the Rock softcoverbook in Spanish now has acompanion workbook!Matrimonio sobre la Rocasoftcover bookBK40..........................$14.95

couples discussion guideBK50..........................$14.95

MarriageToday offers couples an astonishing array of tools and helps for repairing,

strengthening and deepening their relationship.

But, if you’re new to this ministry, you may have a hard time deciding which oneto choose. And the last thing you need is something that only adds to the informationoverload you’re already experiencing.

We have a suggestion: Start here!

Jimmy Evans’ Marriage on the Rock materials have a time-tested history of turninghurting and even divorce-bound marriages into the satisfying relationships Godintended them to be. Let these resources help you establish your marriage firmlyand securely on God’s powerful principles. Whether you are just starting out inlife together, or you’re in need of a fresh start after years of difficulty, these resourcesrepresent the perfect beginning point for better times.

a strong marriage starts here

credit card orders call toll-free1-800-380-6330 or order onlineat marriagetoday.com/store

welcome

I didn’t quite comprehend the gravityof the moment back then, but knowingnow it will be 2061 before I can seeHalley’s Comet again, that particularchildhood moment becomes all themore special.

Another noteworthy occasion in mylife took place in March when my wife,Stephanie, and I celebrated our 10-yearanniversary. Not only that, but my par-ents celebrated their 35th anniversaryin May, and my grandparents markedtheir 60th anniversary in March.

Think about that for a moment.Three generations, passing throughthree respectively momentous mile-stones. And, praise God, there has beenno separation or divorce present in anyof these marriages.

But that doesn’t mean there haven’tbeen many peaks and valleys. Speakingfor myself, some highs have rivaled aMt. Everest experience and some lows,a plummet into Death Valley. But as Ilook back, everything we’ve enduredtogether has made us stronger.

You may say to yourself, it helps tohave marriage experts like Jimmy andKaren for parents. Yes, it is a blessing tohave such strong role models, but

Stephanie and I had to learn and applygodly marriage principles on our own.No one did it for us.

When you truly think about it, theMarriageToday television program al-lows Jimmy and Karen to make theirmarriage available to millions of couplesso they too can build their dream mar-riages. For 25 of their 35 years together,my parents have been challenging cou-ples to stay together, build a strongerfoundation, and believe God has a par-adise waiting for them in marriage.

This magazine issue is all about cel-ebrating Jimmy and Karen’s anniversarymilestone. On the following pages,you’ll enjoy highlights of their marriageand hear stories from friends and sup-porters as they share what Jimmy andKaren have meant to them. Along withthat are other legacy stories and tipsabout how you too can have a marriagethat lasts.

Enjoy this issue! And remember, yourfamily has a great future!

Brenton EvansExecutive Vice President

in 1986, when I was nine years old, I —along with millions of other captivatedspectators—saw Halley’s Comet whiz through our solar system.

Copyright ©2008 by MarriageToday™ All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Printed in the USA. summer 2008 | marr iagetoday.com 3

As hosts of the MarriageToday television broadcast, Jimmy and Karen have

interviewed many authorities on marriage and family over the years. Now, as they

prepare to mark a major milestone in their own marriage, we thought we’d turn

the tables by asking them a few questions about life and love after 35 years.

Five Questionsfor Jimmy & Karen Evans on 35 years together

4 marr iagetoday.com | summer 2008

35 years! Congratulations…What are you feeling as you reachthis milestone?

Karen: I am very grateful! The graceand love that Jimmy has given me hassustained me; his and the Lord’s lovehave not failed me.

Jimmy: Deeply grateful to God and awonderful wife. I know we wouldn’thave made it this far without God’sgrace. He has been faithful throughevery season of our marriage. I am alsothankful for Karen. She is perfect forme. We had such a difficult time earlyin our marriage, and I’m so thankfulshe believed in me in spite of my prob-lems and failures as a husband. Today,we truly have a great marriage and haveso much peace in our relationship.

What is the most significant thingyou now know about marriage thatyou wish you had known when youstarted out 35 years ago?

Karen: To be honest and kind whenthings first bother you about yourspouse, not to be defensive; forgivingdaily, communicate, listen, communi-cate, listen.

Jimmy: There are two things. First, onlyGod can truly meet the deepest needsin my life. I spent so many years tryingto get Karen to do for me what onlyGod could do. Second, how differentwomen are from men and you can’tchange it. Even though I was attractedto Karen on the outside, I thought shewas weird and I needed to change her.Today, I realize how normal and won-derful she is. I wish I would have knownthat when we got married.

What quality, habit or practiceof (Jimmy’s/Karen’s) has helped keepthe relationship strong and thrivingall this time?

Karen: Jimmy has always affirmed andcomplimented me. I love his positiveand joyful attitude, especially whenthings are hard.

Jimmy: We work at loving God and eachother. We realize that relationships takework, and we both have a good workethic. We don’t take things for granted.For example, just because we’ve nowbeen married for thirty-five years andare very happy doesn’t mean next yearwill be the same if we don’t keep doingwhat we are doing. For the first severalyears of our marriage, I was very lazyand thought things should just happenon their own. Those were the worstyears of our marriage. Since then, wehave never taken each other for granted.

Five Questions (cont’d)


How is the cultural pressure onmarriages different today than it wasin the 1970s?

Karen: I don’t think it is. I think peopleare different in the way they choose andvalue others. They are not willing tosuffer (I don’t mean abuse) through lackof commitment.

Jimmy: I think the main thing that issignificantly different are the sexual andemotional temptations that are availablethrough TV, movies and the Internet.We are surrounded today with imme-diate opportunities to turn our needsand interests elsewhere. So many peopletoday are cheating on their spouses—if not physically, then emotionally. It iscommon today for the Internet to ruina marriage through pornography, chatrooms, etc.

Even though there has always beensin, the availability through modernmedia has vastly increased the accessi-bility for men and women and put anincreased pressure on marriages.

How about the next 20 or 30years? What are you hoping anddreaming about together?

Karen: To be able to continue helpingothers; have more relaxing times withfriends, family and each other.

Jimmy: I want to enjoy our marriageand family. That is the first and mostimportant dream Karen and I both have.The second is to help as many peopleas possible experience what we have.We realize how blessed we are, and wehave a passion for helping others tohave a happy marriage and family.

___________________________________________________________________

Editor’s Note: Many friends and partners ofMarriageToday have been celebrating this milestonein Jimmy and Karen’s lives by honoring the missionto which they have dedicated their lives. If youwould like to make a special anniversary gift to theoutreaches of MarriageToday, you may use theattached reply envelope to do so, or share onlineat marriagetoday.com/35years.

Not only will it be a great encouragement toJimmy and Karen, but you’ll enjoy the good feelingthat comes from knowing your gift will be usedwholly and wisely to bring more family-strengtheninghelp to couples across America.

[from left to right] Jimmy and Karen Evans on theirwedding day, May 11, 1973 in Amarillo, Texas;The couple joined by their parents, M.L. and MaryEvans, Bud and Jane Smith; The newlyweds headout for the first time as husband and wife; Thirty-five years later, Jimmy and Karen are going strongand helping others learn to do the same.

All evidence to the contrary, marriage wasmeant to be a paradise. It’s not just adream, a wish, or a childhood fantasy.Believe it or not, it’s actually what Goddesigned marriage to be! And as JimmyEvans points out in this powerful teaching,a marriage that is a “secret paradise” foryou and your spouse is something that isattainable, here and now.

In Our Secret Paradise, on audio, videoor in hardcover book, Jimmy Evans reveals:

… the secret to buildinga great marriage

… seven keys to becomingyour spouse’s best friend

… how to defeat the realenemy of your marriage

… four foundations for establishingpeace and intimacy

… the secret to sexual fulfillment

Get this teaching and put yourself on theroad to paradise!

it’s what your marriage can be

Our Secret Paradise by Jimmy Evanshardcover book //BK60.....................$18.957 sessions on 6 CDs //CD60............. $35.957 sessions on 3 DVDs //DVD60...........$59.95

.......................................................................credit card orders call toll-free 1-800-380-6330or order online at marriagetoday.com

FantasyIsland

it’s not

You’ve touched our lives and many others.We believe God’s anointing is on you tochange marriages all over the world. It’schanged our marriage. We love you. Happy35th anniversary.

Robert & Debbie MorrisSenior Pastor, Gateway ChurchSouthlake, TexasAuthors, The Blessed Marriage

.......................................................The wonderful thing about your marriage isnot only the model it establishes, but the wayit has influenced so many others. The factthat you minister from a foundation of a provenmarriage and proven principles adds to thecredibility. The durability of your life togethermakes very clear these are not just credibletruths, they’re workable for a lifetime. Thankyou for your life. Thank you for your friendship.And thank you for the constancy of continuedpursuit as you go for the next 35.

Dr. Jack HayfordChancellor, The King’s College and SeminaryFounding Pastor, The Church on the WayVan Nuys, California

Betty and I just made 45 years, and you’veencouraged us. You really blessed us by youropenness and willingness to share out of yourown journey, the challenges, the difficulties,the disappointments, the failures, and thegreatness of our God. Thank you for yourministry, thank you for being our friends.Thank you for helping other people have agood healthy relationship in marriage andinspiring them in their families.

James & Betty RobisonFounder/President, Life Outreach InternationalTV Co-Hosts, Life TodayFort Worth, Texas

.......................................................We pray that God will continue to bless yourmarriage as your marriage has been a bless-ing. We count it a privilege to have you asfriends and we believe the best years of yourministry are still ahead with the most impact.

Duane & Jeanie Vander KlokPastor, Resurrection Life ChurchFounding President, Resurrection

Life Church InternationalGrandville, Michigan

You’ve been such a blessing to us. If it wasn’tfor your Marriage on the Rock material, wewould be standing about ten feet apart tellingyou, “Happy Anniversary.” But instead we’rehugging each other and have lots to bethankful for. We appreciate everything you’vedone, the diligence and efforts to makemarriages better in the United States andacross the world, including ours. We loveyou very much.

Marty & Cindy RowleySenior Pastor, Trinity Fellowship ChurchAmarillo, Texas

.......................................................We were just a young couple when we firstmet you and heard your teachings on mar-riage. The way you’ve demonstrated yourlove for one another changed our lives then,and has continued to impact our lives today.We’re so grateful for who you are as peopleand wish you the best in the years ahead.

Brady & Pam BoydSenior Pastor, New Life ChurchColorado Springs, Colorado

As Jimmy and Karen have approached this marriage milestone, we’ve heard from MarriageToday friends and

partners across America as they have offered words of congratulations and encouragement.

With their permission, we have reproduced some of these kind messages below. Some names you might know;

others may be unfamiliar to you. But what comes through in every note is a sense of appreciation for Jimmy

and Karen’s example and their commitment to helping others.

Read along, get inspired and feel free to submit your own note online at marriagetoday.com/35years.

Notes from friends & well-wishers


Jimmy and Karen have been ourpastors for over 22 years, andI’ve worked for this ministry fornearly 13 years. When I think ofthem, two words come to mymind. The first is “real.” They areunpretentious, and have the abilityto communicate both deep, bib-lical truths and practical marriageinformation with humor so thatwe can understand and apply itto our everyday lives. The secondword is “integrity.” They live whatthey teach, and conduct them-selves and this ministry with utmostintegrity. And, their passion aboutmarriage—and teaching peoplehow to succeed—is contagious!

Tanya SpiveySr. Director of EventsMarriageToday

...........................................One of the things I admire aboutboth of you is your transparency.You are open and honest, charm-ing, funny, and you both have aheart for people. I’ve worked foryou for 14 years and I am proudto say my respect has only grown.I appreciate your integrity andyour genuine faith and trust inGod. I see you behind thescenes; in good times and bad—and no matter what, you livewhat you teach and you teachwhat you live. You inspire us,encourage us, and more thananything, speak truth to us. Thankyou for your ministry—for beingreal and honest.

Donna GriffinExecutive Assistant to Jimmy Evans

...........................................Without MarriageToday, wewouldn’t be together. We weredivorced and God brought usback together through their minis-try. They have blessed us andblessed our children who werevery hurt during the time we wereapart. They have totally changedour lives. We are so thankful.

Tony & Cindy—Arkansas...........................................You bless and encourage metremendously. You have given meinsight and helped me believe inmarriage for life.

Nora—Texas

Thank you both for your marriageministry. By the grace of God,the Marriage on the Rock seminarsaved our marriage.

Barry—Texas...........................................Thank you for your honesty andfor all your words of encourage-ment. I look forward to receivingyour letter each week. My hus-band and I were in a bleak placetwo-and-a-half years ago whenwe were legally separated. I ampleased to say that today we aremore in love than ever and ourdaughters have a happy andstable home to be brought up in.

Lara—Edinburgh, Scotland...........................................I just want to say thank you toJimmy and Karen for listening toGod’s heart. If they wouldn’t havelistened, I don’t think we’d behere together right now. God hasused them to heal our marriage.We’ve been married for 21years. And we’re just so grateful.

Gerry & Leslie—Texas...........................................I appreciate the honesty and hu-mility with which they describetheir marriage; from the earlystages, to the blessed fruit thatthey have now. The vulnerabilitythey display—especially fromJimmy—is so heartwarming. Theirmarriage is a testament that con-tinues to inspire and encourage.

Tyrone—Massachusetts...........................................I can’t thank you enough for whatyou bring to our lives through yourministry. My husband and I willcelebrate our 20th anniversarythis July. But that is after Godpulled us out of alcoholism, anger,infidelity and a separation. If itweren’t for our wonderful, amaz-ing and faithful Lord Jesus Christ,we would not be celebrating our20th. I’m thankful that He guidedme to your ministry.

Becky—Colorado

I am a new Christian who wassaved just after my marriage lastyear. My husband is still a non-believer. I can not tell you howmuch your show has been helpingand encouraging me through thistime. Thanks to your show, I amlearning to become a better wife,in Christ, to my husband. Andthrough my change (and prayersby so many people), the Lord isalso bringing my husband closerto the cross. The truth and wisdomyou share on the show is not justeye opening, but very practical.

Yaeko—Virginia...........................................Your ministry has truly been atremendous blessing to us. Wehave been married for 23 years.We are strengthened, encour-aged and enlightened by yourmessages. The e-mails are alwaysjust what we need for the week.You most certainly hear from God,and know how to deliver a wordin season (Luke 12:12). Thankyou for blessing our lives.

Charles & Janet—Georgia...........................................Your ministry definitely helpedprovide guidance and encourage-ment to me during a time when Ithought my marriage was ending.Your ministry taught me so much.I am thankful to say we celebratedour 17th anniversary in January.I am so thankful for people likeyou who are committed to helpingthose in troubled marriages.

Michelle—Arkansas...........................................The marriage ministry of Jimmyand Karen has been a HUGEblessing to us. God has truly usedtheir ministry to heal, bless, andgrow our marriage. The monthlytapes, magazines, prayer requests,and DVD’s have helped us somuch, we pass them on to othermarried couples to use to re-buildtheir marriages.

Marcus—Texas

Thank you for always being realabout the dynamic of marriage,and for giving me insight on howto treat my husband better. Youare an inspiration, and a blessing.

Carmen—Texas...........................................We appreciate the transparencyof Jimmy and Karen, and theiropenness to share their lives andtheir experiences. We do mar-riage preparation in our churchand we use their materials in ourteachings to couples in crisis mar-riages and to couples who areabout to get married. We’re ex-cited now to be Rock SolidPartners. And we’re thrilled athaving a resource to help us doeven a better job than we havebeen doing in the past. I want tothank them for supplying informa-tion and resources that show cou-ples there is a hope and apurpose for their marriage.

Ted & Gloria—Texas...........................................Your ministry is amazing to me!It has encouraged me so much.The other day my sister informedme that after 20 years of a “notso good” marriage, this year hasbeen the best just because I toldher to stop concentrating on hisfaults and pray that God wouldchange her. Of course, I got thatadvice from you. Thank you fromthe bottom of my heart for every-thing you have done for both ofour marriages.

Sheila—Mississippi...........................................Without you being God's vessels,we would surely be divorcedand our children would be suffer-ing from it. We have put every-thing into place from yourteachings on God’s design formarriage and I can testify that itis 100% foolproof. God is faithful!

Charles—Texas

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Some of the above testimonies have been edited for length, punctuation,grammar or clarity of meaning.

summer 2008 | marr iagetoday.com 9

and I have a favorite Nicolas Cagemovie called The Family Man. It’s a romantic comedy depictingthe life of a man, Jack Campbell, who is suddenly takenfrom his bachelor life and given a glimpse of what his lifecould have become if he had married his college girlfriend,Kate. At first he freaks out at the notion of being a minivan-driving father of two. In fact, most of the comedic story linecenters around Jack trying to adjust to his new environment.

But there is a marvelous scene at the end of the moviewhere he is sent back to his bachelor life and he beginsdesperately searching to find the present-day Kate. He findsher at the airport, on her way to London, and in front of acrowd of people he details out what their life could’ve beenhad they stayed together.

“We have a house in Jersey. We have two kids, Annie andJosh. And we’re in love. After 13 years of marriage, we’restill unbelievably in love. You won’t even let me touch youuntil I’ve said it. I sing to you. Not all the time, but definitelyon special occasions. We’ve dealt with our share of surprisesand made a lot of sacrifices, but we’ve stayed together. Yousee, you’re a better person than I am. And it made me abetter person to be around you. I don’t know, maybe it wasjust all a dream. Maybe I went to bed one lonely night inDecember and I imagined it all. But I swear, nothing hasever felt more real. And if you get on that plane right now,it’ll disappear forever. I know we could both go on with ourlives and we’d both be fine, but I’ve seen what we could belike together. And I choose us.”

My wife, Stephanie,

ten yearsBrenton & Stephanie

1 0 marr iagetoday.com | summer 2008

What I love about that scene in the movie is how NicolasCage’s character can’t go on the way he did before, now thathe has experienced marriage with Kate and the love that’sbundled with fatherhood.

Stephanie and I celebrated our 10th anniversary on March20, 2008. We have one daughter, Kate Sophia, who wasborn in July of 2007. I can’t imagine life without them.We’ve had an unusual journey—one with many trials andups and downs—but in the end we know our lives are somuch better together.

As a married, thirty-something father of one, I can tellyou that being married ten years is becoming a rarity formy generation. It’s unfortunate, but on an increasing basis,couples in my generation just don’t see the point in stickingit out. They’re giving up in mass droves.

They’re also missing out on so much. Studies have proventhat marriage gets better when couples stick with it. Stephanieand I have friends who have divorced and years later regrettheir decision. It’s because, just like my dad says in hisseminars, the grass simply isn’t greener on the other side.

Something else I want to throw in the mix—a principlethat has helped the mindset of our marriage for many years—is that Stephanie and I don’t use the word “divorce” as athreatening tool against one another. It is something wedisciplined ourselves with early in our marriage. We onceheard a couple say that they would stay together either way—happy or miserable—so they might as well make an effortto be happy, because divorce is not an option. It’s a hard

truth, especially in our day and age, but it works—especiallywhen two people are committed to making it work.

My parents are celebrating their 35th anniversary thisyear, and my grandparents their 60th. I know that as longas Stephanie and I stay committed to biblical principles andhealthy core values, we can and will make it as far (maybeeven farther) than they have. They have left a legacy thatchallenges us to strive for what they showcase—a genuinemarriage.

Looking back over the ten years we’ve been together ashusband and wife, I see clearly the hills and valleys we’vetraveled through as a couple. We stepped over the ten-yearmilestone recently, and we both agree that we wouldn’t havechanged a thing. Every hardship has been worth it, and we’restronger because of the challenges we faced.

Every year around Christmastime, Stephanie and I makeit a point to watch The Family Man. For us, it’s a warm reminderof all the intimacy that comes with marriage and parenthood.The movie always prompts the question in my mind, could Ilive without Stephanie and Kate? With the Lord’s help, I imagineI could. But I’ve seen our life together and experienced a loveindescribable, and because of that, I choose us.


by Brenton Evans

Decades of DevotionWhat is the key to a successfulmarriage?

Mary: No two people are the same, soyou have to be able to adjust to someonewho isn’t like you. You also need to walkin forgiveness and be willing to turn theother cheek. This is very important.M.L.: Commitment. You get married tostay married. In order to do that, youcan’t give up. You have to be committedno matter what.

What are the fundamentals for stress-proofing your marriage?

Mary: You need to deal with issueswhen they come up. Talk them out andthen forgive your spouse. Don’t suppressyour anger. If you do, problems willjust fester. Talking about [issues] allowsyou to get them out in the open, andforgiveness allows you to move forward.

.......................................................

Of all the things you learned fromyour parents regarding marriage,what was the most valuable?

Mary: My mother was very loyal to myfather. Even in the most difficult cir-cumstances, she remained committed.M.L.: I would say the same. My parentswere totally committed to each other.

What is the one thing you want yourspouse to remember most about you?

Mary: More than anything, I want himto remember my devotion to him andour marriage.M.L.: I hope Mary has seen the samefrom me—devotion and commitment—every step of the way.

.......................................................

Do you have any final words on mar-riage that you’d like to share with theMarriageToday readers?

M.L.: Don’t give up on your marriage.I see this happen so often. You have tobe totally committed and work thingsout. You can outlast your problems andgrow through difficulty, but you muststay committed.

It was a picture-perfect love story set in Memphis, Texas, a town located inthe Texas panhandle with a thriving downtown and brick-paved streets. M.L.Evans was a handsome football player who worked at the local drugstore.Though many girls were interested, he knew Mary, the pretty, sweet homecomingqueen, was the one for him. They married on March 28, 1948, in the samechurch where they had met when they were only 10 years old.

Now, 60 years later, M.L. and Mary Evans—parents of MarriageTodayfounder Jimmy Evans—have built a life together. They have made a home,raised a family and enjoyed the rewards of retirement. They like traveling intheir motor home and watching the Dallas Cowboys play football. MarriageTodayrecently spoke to this dynamic couple and asked them what makes a marriagesolid for 60 years.

Jimmy’s Parents

M.L. & Mary Evans


Decades of Devotion

by Gena Maselli

What is the key to a successfulmarriage?

Jane: Commitment. You have to becommitted to stay together and com-mitted to working at staying together.Bud: I agree. You have to be totallycommitted 100 percent.

.......................................................

What are the fundamentals to stress-proofing your marriage?

Jane: You must be open with one an-other about what’s bothering you.Bud: Never give up on your marriage.Forgive one another and refuse to carrya grudge. Then, move forward andnever stop loving your spouse.

Of all the things you learned fromyour parents regarding marriage,what was the most valuable?

Jane: My parents stayed the course.They were committed to each other,and they did things together. They en-joyed each other’s company.

.......................................................

What is the one thing you want yourspouse to remember most about you?

Jane: I hope Bud remembers that I’vealways loved him and considered himfirst, and that I have been faithful tofollow him.Bud: I would like her to remember thatI never stopped loving her and alwayswanted the best for her.

Do you have any final words on mar-riage that you’d like to share with theMarriageToday readers?

Jane: I encourage someone who isthinking about marriage to know asmuch as possible about the person heor she wants to marry. Ask, how com-mitted and honest is this person? Is heor she a caring and thoughtful person,or does everything have to revolve abouthim or her? That’s important, becauseyou need a partner, not a baby.

If you are both committed to God,you have a much better chance of sur-viving marriage—come what may. Acceptthe bad when it comes and know thingswill get better. Then, be willing to putin the effort to keep your marriage strong.

It was at a Sigma Chi fraternity dance in Albuquerque, New Mexico, whereJane met the man with whom she would share her life. Henry J. (Bud) Smithwas handsome and kind, even if he was a little slow to call her after their firstdate. (He kept her waiting a whole week!) To Bud, Jane was a treasure, anawesome beauty with a countenance that left him speechless. Even on theirwedding day, on January 26, 1952 in Winnetka, Illinois, Bud admits, “I couldn’tbelieve she was marrying me.”

Over the years, this fun-loving couple has enjoyed traveling, entertainingfriends and family, being active in the community and savoring quiet eveningsat home. They have raised children—including their daughter, MarriageTodayco-founder Karen Evans—delighted in grandchildren and remained committedto each other and to God. This is what they have learned about marriage overthe last 56 years.

Karen’s Parents

Jane & Bud Smith


The fact that a couple is deeply in love doesn’tmean they possess the skills needed to build ahappy, fulfilling life together.

And one of the most crucial areas for marriage successis one in which most couples receive no teaching ortraining—communication.

Jimmy and Karen Evans have a tremendous passionto see couples start right and succeed. That’s whyMarriageToday has joined forces with two of America’smost innovative and proven marriage ministries to createa bundle of resources called “PREPARE To Last.” It’s atruly powerful and unique marriage preparation tool.

The PREPARE To Last kits come in three forms: a GroupLeaders Kit for pastors, counselors and small groupleaders; a Couples Kit for engaged or newly marriedcouples participating in such groups; and a specialWedding Gift Kit that parents, grandparents or friendscan give as the most important and meaningful presenta couple can receive.

these sample pages are from Chapter Two:COMMUNICATION in the Couples Workbook

COMMUNICATION

for newlyweds, “nearlyweds”and the rest of us


What if you could help a newlywed or“nearlywed” couple start their life togetherwith more answers than questions?

You can, because three of America’smost innovative and effective marriageorganizations have come together to createPREPARE To Last, the most comprehensivepremarital preparation resource available.

In it, couples will find a full spectrum ofuser-friendly tools for launching a lifetimeof fulfillment and relationship success.

This Couples Gift Pack includes:

• the PREPARE To Last Couple Checkup• three interactive DVDs• audio CDs• couples workbooks

.................................................PREPARE To Last Wedding KitOV34 .....................$99.95

get the PREPARE ToLast Wedding Kitfor a couple youcare about

For a limited time get a freedownload of a web video fea-turing an illustrative drama skitand the corresponding workbookpages from the Communicationsection of the Wedding Kit.

point your web browser to…marriagetoday.com/P2Lpre-marriage


sexualfulfillment

creat ing an a tmosphere ofsexual p leasure in your marr iage

Jimmy Evans

the keys to

in marriage{ }

Unlock sizzle & passion.

In his powerful booklet, The Keys to Sexual Fulfillmentin Marriage, Jimmy Evans shatters the lies of themedia and the deceptions of the enemy where sexis concerned. In frank but sensitive terms, Jimmyaddresses common hindrances to sexual fulfillmentin marriage and explains how you and your spousecan create a rewarding physical atmosphere byunderstanding each other’s differences, needs anddesires. As you read, you’ll discover powerful biblicaltruths that can help you dramatically improve yourexperience of intimacy!

The Keys to Sexual Fulfillment in Marriagesoftcover mini-book by Jimmy EvansMBK11..............................................$6.95

call toll-free 1-800-380-6330 or orderonline at marriagetoday.com/store

The greatest marriageson planet earth…

…have some simple but powerful things in common.They are the insights, viewpoints, habits and techniquesthat cause relationships to flourish. The good newsis, you can put these elements to work in yourrelationship. And in his resource titled Every GreatMarriage, Jimmy Evans shows you how!

In either audio CD or video DVD format, JimmyEvans brings you deep, specific wisdom on each ofthe seven key elements that characterize the strongest,most fulfilling marriages. You’ll discover how to be agreat wife or a great husband, and how to build agreat home.

Order Every Great Marriage and get the fresh startyou need… or step into your new beginning fullyequipped!

both formats contain a special bonus feature:

…a unique session titled The Mountaintop of Marriagethat reveals the whys and hows of a marriage “visionretreat.” And to get the most out of this session,purchase the corresponding companion guide offeredbelow. It’s a step-by-step road map to a refreshingand destiny-altering time away together.

Every Great Marriage

5 sessions on 5 CDsCD77..............................................$29.955 sessions on 2 DVDsDVD77 ............................................$59.95

Transform your relationshipwith a marriage retreat.

Sometimes you have to retreat to advance. That’swhy Jimmy Evans created The Mountaintop of Mar-riage: A Vision Retreat Guidebook for Couples. It’sa powerful, 40-page resource which guides youstep-by-step on a journey of revelation and vision foryour family. With thought-provoking questions anda 12-month planning calendar, couples can recordwhat God speaks to them, as well as milestoneevents and family accomplishments. It will surelyresult in a treasured family keepsake to be referencedin the years to come. By all means, take a visionretreat as a couple, but be sure you take this guide-book with you when you go!

The Mountaintop of Marriageguidebook/journal by Jimmy EvansBK13...............................................$14.95


Chill out!

Out-of-control stress in personal lives and marriagescan be devastating. But, in Jimmy Evans’ TwelveTips to Resolving Stress in Your Marriage book,you’ll discover practical ways to eliminate stress andenhance intimacy in your marriage. You’ll learn thekeys for dealing with: unresolved anger, chronicconflicts, financial disagreements, sexual problems,remarriage and the blended family, and much more!

This easy-to-read book contains simple-to-implementprinciples and arms you with the information youneed to experience the happy and peaceful marriageGod intends for you to have.

Twelve Tips to Resolving Stress in Your Marriagesoftcover book by Jimmy EvansBK48...............................................$14.95

Rekindle the fire.

Do you remember how you felt when you and yourspouse were dating? You can get it back! That samesense of closeness and excitement in your relationshipcan be reignited. You can Return to Intimacy.

In this revealing series, Jimmy Evans explains howto create and maintain an intimate relationship,explores the differences between a husband andwife, and arms you with insights that will help youstop intimacy-destroying behaviors and patterns inyour marriage.

Don’t wait to begin turning your marriage into allyou hoped it could be. Order today and Return toIntimacy.

Return to Intimacy5 sessions on 5 CDsCD76..............................................$29.955 sessions on 2 DVDsDVD76 ............................................$59.95

Rock steady!

It is one of the most comprehensive marriage resourcesJimmy Evans has ever produced with more than300,000 copies in print. This book contains abundle of accessible truths and insights that havebeen instrumental in putting countless couples onthe road to harmony and happiness together.

In Marriage on the Rock: God’s Design for YourDream Marriage, Jimmy reveals little-known butpowerful truths such as:

…The “Four Foundational Laws of Marriage” andwhy ignoring them is so destructive torelationships.

…The characteristics of a “Destructive Husband”and a “Destructive Wife” and how they can bewondrously transformed.

…and so much more.

Order your copy now and take hold of an amazing,time-tested road map to a better, stronger, morefulfilling relationship!

Marriage on the Rockhardcover book by Jimmy EvansBK01H ............................................ $19.95

(this series also available in Spanish, softcover, onCD, DVD and as a companion workbook atmarriagetoday.com/store)

to order any MarriageToday product by mail,use the enclosed postage-paid order form.

for credit card orders, call toll-free 1-800-380-6330or order online at marriagetoday.com/store


Amarillo National Bank

Amarillo Quality BlindsDonna and Steve Griffin

AzTx Cattle Company, Ltd.Sandy and John Josserand

Bill Gruhlkey & Roger MorrisMusic Ministries

Timma and Bill GruhlkeyMary Ann and Roger Morris

Blue SkyThe Vermillion Family

Cenveo-TraftonSteve Trafton

Davy Knapp PhotographyDavy Knapp

Dining by DesignBecky McKinley

DreamMaker Bath & KitchenStephanie and Steve Betts

Doug Dwyer

Family Medicine CentersMike Hughes

First United Bank

Friona Industries, LPJames Herring

Grace Fellowship ChurchPam and Pastor Ricky Griffin

Happy State BankNancy and Pat Hickman

Hospice Care of the SouthwestMike Hughes

Joppa Design

Krause LandscapingDanna and Billy Krause

Lapp Family Investments, LPSherrie and Steve Lapp

Merrick Pet FoodSusie and Garth Merrick

Nutri-FeedsTerry Caviness, Trevor Caviness,

Regan Caviness

Panhandle Presort Services, Ltd.Ann and Jim Austin

Paul Blake RoofingChristy and Paul Blake

Schooler Funeral HomeMary and Maurice Schooler

Dr. Brian Sicher

Southwest General ContractorsGary Purser and Wes Purser

The Hideaway ExperienceRajan and Steve Trafton

The RefugeConnie and Jerry Sublett

Toot ’n TotumJulie and Greg Mitchell

Trinity Fellowship Church—PampaGloria and Pastor Lonny Robbins

Village Bakery CaféPhyllis and George Enloe

Western Builders of Amarillo

We have two words for the gracious Corporate Pacesettersof MarriageToday’s Amarillo banquet…

Thank you, Corporate Pacesetters, for caringabout marriages and standing with us aswe strengthen families and restore thedream of marriage in our nation.

marriagetoday.com

thank you!

reducing family stress byre-ordering family priorities


GIVE YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST PRIORITYIN “REAL” TERMS, NOT JUST WORDS

Many people say the right words to their spouses about theirlove and devotion, but they never demonstrate that love anddevotion in real terms. Therefore, the violated spouse isseldom comforted by “empty” words and promises.

Marriage was created by God to be the first priority in yourlife, with the exception of your relationship with Him. Andwhile you may verbally insist that you love your spouse, hereare four ways priorities are proven in what I call “real” terms:

SACRIFICE—If your spouse is a priority to you, then youshould be willing to sacrifice things of “lower” priority forhim or her. If he or she is not a priority, then they will bethe ones sacrificed for your real priorities.

At the same time, being unwilling to sacrifice is the rootissue of why so many people live under enormous stressand constant and unyielding time demands.

Remember the priority God gave marriage in Genesis 2?When He said we would have to be willing to leave our

parents for the sake of our marriage, He wasn’t telling usthat forsaking our parents would always be required. Hewas telling us that if there were a priority conflict betweenour parents and our marriage, then we would have to bewilling to sacrifice our relationship with our parents toprotect our marriage.

Parents, work, children, school activities, friends, church,sports—all of it is competing for attention.

But without a clear, set list of priorities—and the willingnessto sacrifice things of a lower priority to protect the higherones—you will live under constant stress as the lesserpriorities rob you of the most precious things in life.

To conquer the stress that comes from constant conflictsamong priorities, you simply must come to the point ofrealizing you cannot “have it all.” The penalty of trying tohave it all is losing your health, happiness and relationshipswith God and your family.

Therefore, accept the fact that you cannot have everythingor do everything in life, and decide right now that you aregoing to sacrifice the less important things in life to keepthe most important things healthy. »

The typical American’s day is filled to over-flowing with things that shout, and occa-sionally scream for attention. The demandsof work, clubs, friends, church and com-munity have most couples stretched tothe breaking point.

The fact is, we’re living in the busiest,most stress-filled times in history. And thatstress is choking the life and joy out ofcountless marriages.

Here are three powerful keys to properlyordering your family priorities and managingthe stress of 21st-Century family living.

by Jimmy Evans

1


TIME—Time is the commodity of rela-tionships, and it must be distributedaccording to priority.

For example, if God is truly first-place in your life, then you will honorthe Sabbath Day without complaint.But if you are only giving lip service toGod and something else really has Hisplace in your life, then you will notobserve the Sabbath to pursue Him,and you will chafe at the obligation.

The same applies to your spouse.If your husband or wife is truly a

priority, then you will give him or hera dedicated and protected amount ofyour time. If you do not hold the rela-tionship at that higher level of priority,then you will complain when yourspouse requires—or demands—yourtime. I believe that this is the mosttelling sign when the priority of a mar-riage has failed. And the results are veryevident… you “fall in love” when youspend time with your spouse. You “fallout of love” when you don’t.

ATTITUDE—When a man and womanfirst meet, they not only “prioritize”each other, but they also demonstratean attitude of pleasure about it.

Oftentimes, however, after a man andwoman marry, they may not have prior-ities that are more important than eachother, and they may even spend a great

deal of time together, but they do it withthe wrong attitude. They start acting asthough pursuing each other and meetingone another’s needs is a “ball and chain”that they are sentenced to drag withthem through life. Their attitude trans-lates as rejection for their spouse.

You may not realize it, but you com-municate to everyone around you whatyour “real” priorities in life are by anattitude of desire and delight. Rejectionand lower priorities are revealed throughyour attitude of apathy and obligation—Do I really have to do this?… Well, OK.

ENERGY—Priorities must include allthe assets of life to be genuine. If youare telling your spouse, “Oh, Sweetheart,you know you are number one in mylife…” but you are withholding the en-ergy that it takes to keep him or her inthat place, then you are lying. You areholding back from your spouse in orderto give to something or someone else.

Again, people “fall in love” becausethey do whatever it takes to give theirrelationship the time and energy itneeds. They sacrifice. They pour intotheir relationship at the expense ofeverything else.

The reason people “fall out of love”is because they get lazy. They stop work-ing at the relationship and then wonderwhy it doesn’t work.

Your energy—your supply—is essen-tial in making your relationship withyour spouse successful, and keeping itfirst-place in real terms.

PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGEFROM “LOWER” PRIORITIES

Most of the things that ruin a marriageare not “bad” things. They are simplygood things that are out of priority.Work, children, family, friends, hob-bies—none of these are bad. Yet, anyof them can destroy a marriage.

Take children as an example. Theyare a blessing from God, but they arenot as important as your marriage—which is a surprise to many parents.Certainly, you must highly prioritizeyour children. You must love and carefor them. But your parenting will onlybe for 18 or so years. Your marriage,on the other hand, will last a lifetime.

When Karen and I first married, therewere no children in our home compet-ing for our time and attention. Today,we do not have children in our home,because our kids are grown and mar-ried. While we have a wonderful rela-tionship with them, they want to livetheir own lives. They don’t want usintruding.

My point is that Karen and I aregrateful we made the sacrifices necessaryto raise good children. But we are alsograteful that we didn’t sacrifice ourmarriage for them by letting them comebefore us. In doing so, our children sawus “in love” and they grew up in a homewith a stable marriage that provided asolid foundation and example for them.

The problem with sacrificing yourmarriage for the sake of your childrenis that it is shortsighted and sets youand your children up for dysfunctionalrelationships.

making lasting things the main thing (cont’d)

2


Look at it this way: If you earned amillion dollars a year and received greathonor in doing so, but went home atthe end of each day to a terrible mar-riage—what good would all that moneybe? We all know that when our marriageis rotten, it doesn’t really matter whatelse is good in life, because we’re stillmiserable.

So, regardless of what delights ordemands come into your life, one ofthe disciplines of a successful marriageis to protect the priority of your marriageagainst the “bad” and “good” things thatseek to violate the position of yourspouse in your life.

BUDGET “TIME” THE SAMEAS YOU WOULD MONEY

Violated priorities and stressed-out livesare almost always accompanied by a hostof lame excuses and empty promises.Yes, our intentions may be good, butthey never seem to translate into reality.

Why?Oftentimes, it’s because we are poor

time managers.For example, I have a friend who was

always late to everything. As a result,he was forever “in trouble” with his wife,his kids, his employer, and so on.

Now, I’ve never met a man who wasa better person at heart, yet, a moremiserable liar when it came to appoint-ments or being faithful to what he said.

One day, my friend was very late foran appointment with me. When heshowed up, he gave me the same oldexcuse, “I’m sorry—I just didn’t realizemy last appointment would take so long.”

Though I was frustrated with him, Irealized he was caught in a trap anddidn’t know how to get out. So, I taughthim something that day—which, ac-cording to him, revolutionized his life.

I told my friend that if time weremoney, he would be bankrupt.

With a background in business, heunderstood the analogy. I explainedhow time is a limited commodity, justlike money. But, unlike money, we allhave the same amount of time. And ifwe want to end up in the “profit” mar-gin, then we must balance our assetsagainst our expenses.

Then I told my friend how everyonearound him was frustrated with himand why. I helped him see how he was

constantly borrowing time from God,his wife, his children, his friends, andothers, to pay people time that he didn’tneed to be paying them.

The bottom line was, he was deepin debt to the “important” people inhis life because he continued to allowthe “less” important people to rob himof his assets—time. It was as thoughhe were out buying an expensive suitof clothes with the money he shouldhave been using to pay his last month’selectric bill. It will eventually get youinto trouble.

The greater priorities in life are owedfirst and must be paid regularly. Ruinedmarriages are often the result of verysincere people who became bankruptin their relationships because theydidn’t budget their time prudently. Thestresses and demands of life dictatedtheir behavior.

Rather than being proactive and de-ciding in advance what they would andwould not do, they reacted and becamevictims of a stressed-out, undisciplinedlifestyle.

To keep your marriage and lifehealthy and free from harmful stress,budget your time as you would yourmoney. You can do that by listing on apiece of paper the most important peo-ple and things in your life.

Your list might look something like this:• God• my spouse• my children• me• church• work• my friends »

3

You and your spouse mustwork together to establishthe standards and traditionsthat will keep your prioritiesprotected and your relation-ship healthy.


After making your list, take out acalendar and—beginning with yourmost important priorities—scheduleregular, dedicated time for them.

The further down the list you get,the more you’ll likely see that it doesn’ttake long before you run out of time.That’s usually when it dawns on youthat you’ve been robbing time from themost important people in your life…only to give it to less important thingson your list.

Just as with financial budgeting, youhave to make difficult choices some-times in order to be successful. And,yes, that means some of your desireswill go undeveloped. Some friendshipswill go unattended. Some interests willgo unpursued. Some demands will gounmet. Still, the most important peopleon your list must be paid regularly withthe time that is due them. That’s theonly way you can ensure lasting successand happiness in marriage, and in life.

What’s more, you must also teachyour children to budget their time prop-erly and to make the necessary sacrifices.As never before, families are beingstressed out by the constant demands,desires and opportunities of their chil-dren. Again, while we as parents havethe responsibility to sacrifice when nec-

essary to meet our children’s needs andaccommodate their interests, the realityis that we live in a “driven” culture.Parents often escort their childrenfrom school… to sports… to musiclessons… to entertainment… to theirfriends’ house… to shopping….

It’s a never-ending cycle of packedschedules—and the stress that comeswith it.

The stress doesn’t just affect the chil-dren, however. It affects the entire family,especially mom and dad’s marriage.

Before long, the joy of life is robbed,and family relationships begin to fallapart because there is no quality timeor energy left for each other. The dreamsof peaceful, intimate family times arerobbed by a lack of time managementcombined with the desire to “have it all”—and for our children to “have it all.”

You and your spouse must work to-gether to establish the standards andtraditions that will keep your prioritiesprotected and your relationship healthy.You must also set a good example foryour children by managing your sched-ules properly, so you have “quality” timeand energy for each other as well as foryour children.

But don’t stop there. Train your chil-dren to do the same. You want them tobe blessed with a full and fun life, butyou must understand that their relation-ship with God and family is the essentialfoundation for their true happiness andsuccess, just as it is with yours.

No matter how good your childrenmay be at gymnastics or soccer, or howpopular they are among their friends,their happiness is mostly dependentupon the quality of their home life.

The sad truth is that society is unrav-eling before us. While our children havenever had so much and have never beenable to do so much, neither have theyhad greater opportunity to be so emptyand so confused.

Parents realize that behind that emp-tiness and confusion is the lack of moraland practical guidance from us, theirmoms and dads.

Don’t allow your children to becomeso busy because it keeps them “out ofyour hair” for a while. That’s a wrongmotive. Computers, movies, television,friends, activities—nothing can takeyour place.

To sum it all up—do whatever ittakes to create a lifestyle that allowsyou to love and prioritize your spouseand your children in real terms… andon a regular basis. Because, your homeis where you will find the real joy inlife. Nothing else can take the place ofhome in your heart.

Your marriage is the most importantrelationship you’ll ever have on thisearth. God made it that way. But for itto be the success you—and He—wantit to be, you must make it a high priority.You must dedicate and protect the re-sources necessary for a successful mar-riage. Only then can you calm the stressand relieve the pressure that is out todestroy it.

making lasting things the main thing (cont’d)

You must also set a goodexample for your children bymanaging your schedulesproperly, so you have “quality”time and energy for each oth-er as well as for your children.


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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


CruiseM a r r i a g e T o d a y

alaska

you can help turn a milestone for one marr iage

into hope+help for thousands of them


M a r r i a g e i n A m e r i c a

So how can you participatein a meaningful way?Here are two suggestions:

1. Make a special anniversary gift of $35or $350, or even more if you’re able.

2. Become a Rock Solid Partner at the$35-per-month giving level.

You can take either wonderful step usingthe attached reply form and envelope, orshare online at marriagetoday.com/35years.As you do, you’ll be turning a major mile-stone for one couple into powerful help andhope for untold thousands of others.

As we have noted with some fanfare inthis issue of MarriageToday magazine,the month of May marks a major mile-stone in Jimmy and Karen Evans’ rela-tionship. They have celebrated their35th wedding anniversary.

If you have been receiving ministryfrom MarriageToday for any length oftime, you know that Jimmy and Karendidn’t begin married life as a model ofharmony and relational strength. Oneof the hallmarks of their ministry hasbeen how transparent and open theyare about the way things were beforethey discovered and applied God’s keysof wisdom for relational healing andwholeness—keys they’ve spent most ofthe last 35 years sharing with others.

While they have always been veryquick to admit their weaknesses andpast shortcomings (as a way to bringhope to those who are currently strug-gling), they are very reluctant to pointout the many amazing things God hasused them to accomplish in the lives oftens of thousands of couples acrossAmerica.

They are quick to point to God andHis faithfulness, but are slow to bragon themselves.

celebrate the milestone;honor the mission

In light of all of this, the many friendsof MarriageToday are being asked to dosomething very special in celebrationof this major milestone in Jimmy andKaren’s lives and to honor the importantmission they have laid down their livesto carry forward.

That mission is nothing less than therestoration of the dying dream of mar-riage in America. It is a calling thatpertains to our very future as a free andprosperous nation.

That’s why we’re hoping you willprayerfully consider making a specialone-time gift to the outreaches ofMarriageToday as a way of doing twothings:

(1) telling Jimmy and Karen thatas they mark their 35th weddinganniversary, you appreciate theencouragement and help they havebrought to you and others overthe years; and(2) letting them know that theyare not alone in the battle for mar-riage in America.

Without a doubt, the friends and part-ners of MarriageToday are a very realand vital part of fighting that battle.You can know that when you give, youshare in the reward for every brokenfamily healed and for every couplepulled back from the brink of divorce.

What you may not realize is the deep,personal encouragement Jimmy andKaren draw from your partnership.When they get weary or discouraged,hearing from supportive friends likeyou recharges and refreshes them.

discover theMarriageToday

L IVEexperience

The broadcasts, books, CDs and DVDsare all great. But there’s no substitute forexperiencing the marriage-enrichingministry of Jimmy Evans live and in person.Why not make plans now to attend oneof these upcoming, powerful events?

MarriageToday Seminar Events

August 1–2Covenant ChurchCarrollton, Texas

October 24–26New Life ChurchColorado Springs, Colorado

2008 Marriage Leadership Conference

September 8–10Gateway ChurchSouthlake, Texas

Jimmy Evans’ Speaking Engagements

June 30 & July 1Gateway ChurchSouthlake, Texas

September 13–14Resurrection Life ChurchGrandville, Michigan

For more meeting details and to registerfor upcoming seminars, visit our websiteat marriagetoday.com/seminars, or call…

1-866-800-3244


marr iagetoday.com/35years

Jimmy Evans: from his teaching“Positive Parental Discipline”

Here are the purposes of discipline.And again, this answers the “Why?”of why we discipline.

Number one, we are protecting ourchildren from their own nature. TheBible says in Proverbs 22:15, “Foolish-ness is bound up in the heart of a child;the rod of correction will drive it farfrom him.” I’ve got to protect my chil-dren from their own foolish nature.Ladies and gentlemen, this can be a lifeor death thing. You’ve got to teach yourchildren to obey your voice. When Isay, “No,” it means no. When I say,“Stop,” it means stop right where youare. Why? Because it could mean life ordeath for that child.

In taking a child with you into a store,you must teach a child to stay with youin that store. Before we went into a store,we always had a conversation with ourkids. We told them two things. “Youstay right with us and don’t you touch

anything. If you leave our sight and ifyou touch anything without permission,you will get a spanking when you gethome. Do you understand that?”

We could take our children anywherebecause when we took them places theynever touched anything in that place.Some kids just go in and dismantle astore. Let me tell you something, in theday we live… with all these kidnappingsand everything, you had better teachthat child to stay with you. They arefoolish. They will go with strangers forcandy. They will do the most foolishthings. They will stand in the bathtuband use a hairdryer! They don’t know!

Foolishness is bound up in theirhearts, and correction takes their ownnature and keeps it from destroyingthem.

Number two, we discipline to instillcharacter and moral values. We’re teach-

ing you not to lie. We’re teaching younot to use or abuse other children. We’reteaching you not to defy authority be-cause these are the values and the char-acter that we want in you. Our homehad punishments and rewards to instillthese values in our kids.

Number three, we discipline childrento prepare them for reality and success.We are image bearers of God on theearth.

The reality is, God spanks. Hebrews12 says, “He scourges every son whomHe has received,” and if you don’t havediscipline as a Christian then you arenot His son. The sign that you are a sonis that God spanks you. How many ofyou have been spanked by God? Thatmeans that you are loved children ofGod. And so I’m preparing my kids forreality. God is a rewarder, but He alsodisciplines.

A swat on the hand of the toddler reach-ing for an open flame. A smack on thebackside for the five-year-old defiantlytesting the boundaries of parental au-thority. These used to be common, time-tested parenting practices for rearingwell-adjusted, functional children. Butno more.

Physical discipline has become polit-ically incorrect and, in some regions, ison the verge of being criminalized.

Not surprisingly, lots of new parentsare confused about the whole subjectof parenting. That’s why Jimmy Evans’teaching titled “Positive Parental Disci-pline” is such a welcome resource.

Below you’ll find a short excerpt fromthat teaching, along with informationon how to stream or download the entireteaching online. You’ll also learn howto order the entire Successful Parentingseries from which it’s taken.

Note: You can hear this entire 35-minute session online or download it to your MP3 playerat marriagetoday.com/PositiveDiscipline. Or purchase the entire, five-session SuccessfulParenting series at MarriageToday’s online resource center at marriagetoday.com/store.

3 reasons proper discipline is a vital way to bless your children

to spank or not to spank…

parenting


Many of our readers know that marriagetoday.com is the place to find powerful,marriage-enriching resources—including archived television programs, articles anda wide assortment of books, CDs and DVDs.

BUT we bet you didn’t know that if you put a forward slash after the domain nameand type the following words, you’ll find even more helpful tools to bless yourmarriage and keep you up-to-date with MarriageToday’s latest and greatest.

/blogIf RSS feeds and pingbacks aren’t yourthing, don’t worry! The brand newMarriageToday Blog is quite simplya place for you to get more Jimmy &Karen every week. Here you’ll findtheir personal thoughts and commentson a wide range of marriage topics,news and current events. You don’twant to miss it!

/podcastingWhether you run, fly or drive—buildyour marriage en route! Downloadthe MarriageToday with Jimmy &Karen podcast, and you can take ourshow with you wherever you go.

/facebookAre you on Facebook? Well, so arewe! Visit the MarriageToday Facebookpage to find show clips, news andimportant updates. Also, be sure tobecome a fan and tell your friendsabout our Facebook page. It’s an easyway to help your friends find the mar-riage tools they need to succeed.

/prayerTime after time, we’ve seen the powerof prayer, and we know it works!That’s why every week we take theonline prayer requests we receive andpersonally pray over them as a staff.Also, we have a dedicated team ofprayer warriors who do the same. Sosubmit your prayer requests today.

/feedbackWe care what you think! That’s whywe created a place for you to submityour thoughts, comments and questionsto us. We take every submission seri-ously, and we won’t know how youfeel until you contact us.

/testimonyHas your life been impacted byMarriageToday? Here’s your opportu-nity to tell the world! We love testimo-nies and rejoice when we hear frompeople all over the world who havebeen blessed by this ministry. Pleasetake the time to tell us your story. Itmeans the world to us and will abso-lutely bless many more.

discover the power of the slash!

marriagetoday.com/

coming up on MarriageTodaywith Jimmy & Karen…

april 27–may 24Marriage on the RockJimmy and Karen bring you some of themost requested and impacting teachingon marriage the ministry has every pro-duced. Don’t miss these episodes.

may 25– june 28Return to IntimacyEvery marriage would benefit from great-er intimacy—emotional and physical.Discover the keys to making that happenin these important broadcasts.

june 29–august 9Every Great MarriageThere are some habits and values thatare common to every truly great marriage.Join Jimmy and Karen as they reveal themand help you make them a part of yourhome life.

august 10–september 6Building an EmotionallyHealthy MarriageWe live in a culture that tends to produceemotionally damaged people. But asthese broadcasts reveal, broken peoplecan be made whole, and they can enjoya marriage that is rich, fulfilling andemotionally strong.

Schedule is subject to changeand/or network preemption.

Now that digital video recorders such asTiVo are becoming a common householdfeature, more and more couples are enjoyingthe marriage-strengthening insights of Jimmyand Karen Evans on their schedule.

You can find out when and where Mar-riageToday with Jimmy & Karen airs in yourarea by going online to marriagetoday.com.Just set your recorder to grab every episode.Then schedule a time with your spouse to

experience the fun, encouragement and deepinsights each broadcast brings you. Or watchtogether online.

Don’t miss another relationship-transformingteaching! Meet Jimmy and Karen each weekat the time that is convenient for you.

then schedule a weekly appointment with Jimmy & Karen!

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MarriageToday Magazine - Summer 2008

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Transcript of MarriageToday Magazine - Summer 2008