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MARRIAGE

&

SPOUSAL RELATIONS

Oct. 2nd, 2009Jumuah Khutbah

Ali Abidi

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Bismillah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem In the name of God-the Most & especially Merciful

1.

- Strong Marriages are based on certain successful elements

- These elements are building blocks for All Human Relations

- Implementing these elements leads to successful Marriages

- Implementing these elements leads to successful Communities

2.

Marriage is Both Natural and Divinely Ordained:

(Holy Quran) Wa Khalaqnakum Azwaaja (An-Nabaa: 78:8)

Translation: We created you in pairs / bonded

3.

Marriage is an expression of exemplary Humanity:

(Holy Quran) Wa Ja'ala baynakum Mawaddatan War-RahmahInna fi Dhalika LaAayaatin li-Qaumin yatafakkaroon (Ar-Room

30:21)

Translation of whole verse: And among His Signs is this; that He

created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in

tranquility with them, and He has put LOVE (MAWADDAH) and

MERCY (RAHMAH) between your (hearts): verily in that are

Signs for those who reflect.

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Mawaddah refers to a supportive (practical) love; an affection

that essentially involves sincerity, action, sacrifice and effort.

Rahmah refers to Mercy and its derivatives in compassion,kindness, care, benefaction, forgiveness, etc.

4.

There are a minimum of fourteen aspects of a successful marriage,

as described below, categorized into five main categories. These

categories were expounded in detail in the Khutbah. Here, their

main points are summarized as below:

A - PATIENCE (Sabr)

I Act with Lightheadedness (Not Anger) for Problem-Solving

II Kindness (Not dictatorial Brute Force/ Scolding/ Demanding)

III Giving Opportunities (rather than condemning/abandoning)

(It is human to make mistakes Give a second chance!)

B - COURAGE (to get better) and HUMILITY (tonot boast)

IV Courage to stand against yourself, and improve

(Rather than to justify wrong actions)

V Do not show off to spouse like you are separate

(God has created you in pairs as a single entity)

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C - COOPERATION, FAITH and HOPE

VI Support each other - physically and especially mentally.

(Be an encouragement supportive words bring great relief)

VII Trust in Allah (swt) together, & jointly seek His favor

(Two seekers are better than one, & spouses are a single unit)

VIII Be optimistic, outline joint goals, and work towards them

(Have hope, work in conjunction, and keep Faith in God)

D - LOYALTY and SACRIFICE

IX Appreciate Spouse's dedication of life to you

(Return the favor of dedication as your stamp of Loyalty)

X Love is meaningless without Sacrifice

(Sacrifice replaces imperfection to make a perfect marriage)

E - COMPASSION and CHARITY

XI Hadith: Treat brethren (inc. spouse) as you'd like to be treated

(Spouses are additionally our Muslim & Human brethren)

XII Imam Ali: Practice Forgiveness despite the Power to Hurt

(Forgiveness is most genuine when one has power to punish)

XIII Akhlaq: Good Manners and Etiquette

(Even a smile is a charity)

XIV To be pleasant & have good demeanor - goes a Long Way!

(Mutually fulfill the desires of your spouses)

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5.

REMINDERS

A Spouse is:

I A BLESSING Treat him or her as an asset and a favor

II A TEST Ensure that you patiently persevere to succeed in

maintaining cordial, cooperative, and beneficial relations

III A TRUSTfrom God You must treat a Spouse well, and it

might very well be your Ticket to Heaven! Several Ahadith, on the

authority of the Prophets Family (Ahlul-Bayt), mention that the

certification of a spouse, vis--vis the conduct of their partner, will

be a great witnesses for benefaction on the Day of Judgment.

6.

PRAYER

Oh Allah! Bless us with strong Marriages

Oh Allah! Bless us with the elements that lead to Strong Marriages

Oh Allah! Bless us with those elements for Strong Communities!

Oh Allah! Bless us with those elements for Best Human Relations!

Oh Allah, Most Merciful, the Forgiving! Forgive us our sins,-

And bless us in both Dunya (World) and Aakhirah (Afterlife)!