Marek Kowalczyk Life Lessons from the ICU: How to Deal with Adversities and Difficulties

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In 2013 I almost died from heart failure. I spent three months in hospital, and then a month more. I learned some valuable lessons, the most important of them being the principle of acceptance.

Transcript of Marek Kowalczyk Life Lessons from the ICU: How to Deal with Adversities and Difficulties

  • Life Lessons from the ICU
  • hypomania [hp()men]
  • DEALING Causes Effects
  • Acceptance One Perspective (1) Perspective (2) Truth Joy Rest Contact Bibliotherapy Finding
  • For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.
  • Event Emotion
  • People are not troubled by events, but by their views of them Epictetus
  • Event My view of the event Emotion
  • Over that which is external (wealth, honors, health) we have no control, but that which is internal totally depends on usour thoughts, feelings, our actions Epictetus
  • ABC Dr Albert Ellis
  • ADVERSITY/ACTIVATING EVENTan external obstacle to the achievement of an important Goal (G). BELIEFSwhat we say to ourselves, most frequently unconsciously, when we experience A. CONSEQUENCESemotions and behaviors that are our responses to A, as seen through the lens of Bs.
  • C = A x B
  • I have depression vs I am depressing myself
  • What do I say to myself, half- consciously, what causes these unhealthy feelings? I must be healthy! Everything must follow my plan! Everything must play out as I want! Otherwise, I am worthless. (Notice the musturbatory nature of those irrational beliefs.)
  • ABC-DE Dr Albert Ellis
  • How does my wanting to be healthy, successful and so on, logically imply that it must be so? If Im not healthy and I am not successful, do I have empirical grounds to maintain that it must be so? Does strict adherence to the view that this situation cannot exist despite the fact that it doeshelp me cope with this adversity?
  • The fact that I do not want something does not imply that this situation cannot exist; I dont have divine power over the world. If this situation exists, it obviously means that it can exist. Sticking to the irrational beliefs only hinders my functioning: I become depressed, and I tend to choose the option that guarantees me a shorter life, which is not what I want.
  • This situation is very inconvenient for me, but it is not horrible or unbearable. Of course that I can take it; after all, I wont fall apart from it! I would prefer not to have to consider a heart transplant, but now that it happened, so be it. Bad luck! In the worst case, I will live shorter than I had thought. Im neither the rst, nor the last one. Everyone has to die sometime, and so its only a matter of time, anyway. ! Even experiencing major inconveniences associated with transplantation, I can live happily and experience a lot of joy. Ill still be alive! The awareness of my imminent death may even help me make better use of my remaining time; it can be a great opportunity for me to stop caring about little things and start to seize every day! All in all, it may turn out that this event is the best thing that could happen to mebecause maybe I will live shorter, but a lot better!
  • How to Drive Yourself Insane?
  • Depression-causing conditional self-acceptance: I deserve to exist only so long as I am successfulotherwise Im worthless and I have no right to live. Anger-causing conditional acceptance of others: Others are worthy of acceptance as people only if they treat me well and fairly otherwise the deserve the highest condemnation. Conducive to avoiding behaviors low frustration tolerance (conditional acceptance of circumstances): The circumstances of life must always be highly favorable to me, because otherwise life is terrible and unbearable.
  • How to Stay Sane?
  • Unconditional self- acceptance: None of my mistakes or failures affects my value as a human being. Unconditional acceptance of others: Other people have a right to be wrong and even hurt me. High frustration tolerance (unconditional acceptance of circumstances): I can endure even the most adverse of circumstancesthey are not terrible, but at most very unpleasant.
  • Start with C: What negative, out- of-place emotions are you experiencing? Go to A: What triggered the emotions? Uncover Bs: What are you saying to yourself that makes you feel so bad?
  • Perform D: Are the Bs logical, empirical, helpful? Watch out for musturbation! ! Derive E: What non- musturbatory, logical, empirical and helpful beliefs do you prefer to hold?
  • Acceptance One Perspective (1) Perspective (2) Truth Joy Rest Contact Bibliotherapy Finding
  • Babauta, Leo. The Power of Less Bennett, Ray. The Underachiever's Manifesto Botton, Alain de. How Proust Can Change Your Life . Status Anxiety . Religion for Atheists Ellis, Albert. Feetling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better. . A Guide to Rational Living Frankl, Viktor. Mans Search for Meaning Kowalczyk, Marek. Life Lessons from the ICU . How to Deal with Difculties and Adversities Miller, Caroline & Frish, Michael. Creating Your Best Life Pausch, Randy. The Last Lecture Shepherd, Janine. Never Tell Me Never Taleb, Nicholas. Incerto: a Philosophical Essay on Uncertainty: Antifragile The Black Swan Fooled by Randomness The Bed of Procrustes !