Making it Work: Strategies to Manage the Crazy Makers in the Workplace

©2014 Clay & Associates Inc.

Making it WorkStrategies to Manage the Crazy Makers

in the Workplace

ATD – LA ChapterSeptember 18, 2014

Cynthia Clay

©2014 Clay & Associates Inc. 2

• Based in Seattle, Washington• Virtual staff in Washington, D.C., Virginia, and

New Hampshire• Clients include ConocoPhillips, Novartis,

Genentech, Navy Federal Credit Union, Ontario Lottery & Gaming, Providence Health & Services, and the US Government Accountability Office


Published by Wiley


Background

• 47.3% say they are satisfied with their jobs (down from 61.1% in 1987)

• Since 2006, satisfaction has remained below 50%

Source: TNS Market Research survey (2012), reported by The Conference Board

Conclusion: employee satisfaction has declined significantly over the past 20 years.


Strained Relationship

60 – 80% of organizational difficulties are tied to strained relationships.

Source: Daniel Dana, Managing Disagreements


Impact on Teamwork

85% of US employees surveyed experienced conflict at work.

Source: CPP Global, Human Capital Report (2008)


Impact on Teamwork

76% went out of their way to avoid the colleague with whom they were in disagreement.



Presence of Conflict

36% of US employees deal with conflict always or frequently.



Effects of Conflict

Individual

Marketplace


Chronic Conflict

“Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of departures.”

Source: Daniel Dana

The Dana Measure of Financial Cost of Organizational Conflict


Effects of ConflictIndividual

• Reduced productivity• Cost to mediate conflict• Cost to terminate• Unable to retain talent• Cost to recruit replacement• Cost to train replacement

Marketplace


NetSpeed Survey

• 62% left a job in the past, at least partially because of a difficult relationship with a coworker

• 30% reported a difficult coworker currently frustrated them

• 1/5 (of 30%) stated that a difficult coworker was their boss

Source: NetSpeed Learning Solutions survey (2008)


Question

How many hours per week, on average, do US employees spend dealing with conflict at work?

< 1 hour

1.2 hours

2.8 hours

3.5 hours

> 4 hours



Hours Per Week

• US: 2.8 hours each week (18 days per year)• World: 2.1 hours each week (13 days per year)


Conflict in Days

In the US, an estimated 385 million working days is spent on unproductive conflict.


Effects of Conflict

Individual

• Lower team morale• Reduced productivity• Increased supervision• Reduced management

credibility• Less collaboration• Missed opportunities

Marketplace


Question

What is the annual cost in paid hours of the time spent dealing with conflict?

$103 billion

$252 billion

$359 billion

$524 billion



Annual Cost in the US

$359 Billion


Effects of ConflictIndividual

• Lost clients or customers• Reduced revenue• Reduced retention of

managers• Cost of time spent in

conflict• Culture of mistrust

Marketplace


Effects of Conflict

Individual

• Poor reputation• Negative social media• Inability to compete• Customer defections

Marketplace


Results

Impact Percentage

Personal insults or attacks 27%

Sickness/absence 25%

Cross-department conflict 18%

Bullying 18%

People left the organization 18%

People were fired 16%

Employees were moved to different departments

13%

Project failure 9%


Conclusions

• 25 – 40% of a manager’s time is spent resolving conflict.

• Largest reducible cost in many businesses.

• Training demonstrably increases skills and confidence.

• ROI =10 times the cost of training.

Source: Raytheon Corporation


Challenging Coworker

Have you ever worked with a challenging coworker (a peer)?


Challenging Boss

Have you ever worked with a challenging boss?


About You

1. What happens to me at work is usually not related to my own behavior.

2. I try to be open about my thoughts and feelings.

3. I find gossip to be a great stress reliever.

4. I reach out to someone I may have offended.

5. I take people at face value.


About You

1. What happens to me at work is usually not related to my own behavior.

If you agree with this statement, you may often feel victimized by others’ actions. We invite you to consider the many ways your behavior may be helping or hindering the situation.


About You

Take the Questionnaire: About You www.netspeedlearning.com

http://tinyurl.com/4rg85uz

http://www.netspeedlearning.com/

http://tinyurl.com/4rg85uz


About ThemDoes your boss or coworker?

1. Tease you about your mistakes or weaknesses

2. Appear friendly to your face yet criticize you often behind your back

3. Hold staff meetings infrequently or without planning


About Them

4. Flatter you or act unusually sweet

5. Break commitments or not fulfill tasks you need

6. Make demands that you ignore procedures to meet his/her needs


About Them

Take the Questionnaire: About Them at www.netspeedlearning.com

http://tinyurl.com/4uofy2w

http://www.netspeedlearning.com/

http://tinyurl.com/4uofy2w


Pairs Discussion

What unproductive behavior do you find most annoying or most challenging?


Four Principles


Going Head-to-HeadAttempting to meet your needs while preventing others from meeting their needs


CompromisingAttempting to meetyour needs partiallywhile meeting others’ needs partially


Caring-for-SelfAttempting unilaterally to meet your needs by limiting the impact of others’ behavior without affecting their needs


CoachingWith permission, attempting to help another solve a problem or develop skills so the other person gets better results


CollaboratingJointly attempting tomeet fully the needs of all parties


Challenging Coworkers

The Attacker

The colleague who repeatedly expresses anger and frustration in the form of inappropriate personal criticism.



The Whiner

That coworker who complainswithout taking responsibilityfor improving conditions thatsurround him/her.



The Scene Stealer

The peer who sets about building her reputation at your expense.



The Drive-by Boss

A leader who ignores some of her key management responsibilities and doesn’t meet the needs of employees or the organization.



The Manipulator

The coworker who attempts to influence your attitude or behavior through deception or secrecy.



The Clueless Colleague

A coworker who is insensitive to her negative impact on the work environment.



The Faux-Smart Boss

The boss who has unrealistic confidence in his own ideas and skills, often accompanied by a lack of confidence in his employees.



The Slacker

The coworker whose poor performance damages your performance.



The Bully

A colleague who uses unreasonable demands and inappropriate threats to get her way.


Table Discussion

Which of these nine challenging coworkers have you experienced personally?

Which one of these nine challenging coworkers is the most difficult for you?



The Manipulator

The coworker who attempts to influence your attitude or behavior through deception or secrecy.

Open Communicator


The Manipulator


Clues

• Offers unusual favors, gifts or flattery

• Appeals to your sense of guilt• Deceives you• Presents only positive reasons

(no negatives)


Clues

• Misrepresents or excludes data• Whispers in your ear• Asks a leading question or

pretends to ask for input• Tells stories that are inconsistent


Helpful Assumptions

• They fear the consequences of telling the truth.• They have learned to exercise power indirectly.• It’s a coping strategy used when people feel

powerless.• You have probably manipulated

others, too.• You have a right to take care

of yourself.• Manipulators usually have

many strengths.


Take Responsibility

How might you “take responsibility” for this situation?


Take Responsibility

• Be responsible for your own experience. Be aware of your own hooks.

• Do your homework. • Become someone who can’t be

manipulated.• Communicate and set

ground rules.


Extend Respect

How would you “extend respect” in this situation?


Extend Respect• Avoid rescuing behavior.• Use good listening and questioning skills to

encourage openness.• Pay attention to your gut/intuition.


CollaboratingJointly attempting tomeet fully the needsof all parties


Handling Flattery

Role Play


Chat Feedback

What did I do torespond effectivelyto the attempt tomanipulate me?


Collaborating Strategy

• Call her on a lie without calling her a liar. • Don’t do what she wants unless you want to.• Allow her to vent when you refuse.• Acknowledge her praise. • Probe to uncover her needs. • Use statements like, “I need more information”

or “I need to hear the opposing view.”• Jointly come up with alternatives.


Plan B

• Don’t strike back or give in• Don’t embarrass the manipulator in front of

others• Don’t resort to manipulating yourself• Don’t placate or feel guilty for not complying• Move to Compromising• Try Caring-for-Self (e.g. avoid the person)



The Attacker

The colleague who repeatedly expresses anger and frustration in the form of inappropriate personal criticism.

Constructive Critic


Attacker Story

When Maggie was presenting a proposal to the sales support team, her coworker, Ernesto, sighed repeatedly. At one point, she saw him roll his eyes and mumble something out of the corner of his mouth to his buddy, Tom.

Maggie felt uncomfortable but she was uncertain how to respond. At the end of her presentation, Ernesto said under his breath, “Is she serious?”


Attacker Analysis

1. What clues tell you this may be an attacker?

2. What needs might the attacker have?

3. What helpful assumptions could you make?

4. What Principles and Practices seem most relevant in this situation?


Take Responsibility

• Look at your own contribution• Communicate to prevent

attacks• Anticipate frustrations

(model handling them)• Respect your own needs


Build Relationships

• Network to get to know people• Get input from others before making decisions• Seek shared solutions• Show compassion and empathy• Acknowledge good results to build self-esteem


Strategy for an Attacker

Which strategy makes the most sense with an attacker?


CollaboratingJointly attempting tomeet fully the needs of all parties


Collaborating

How would you collaborate with the attacker in this scenario?

What actions might you take?


Collaborating

• Breathe• Allow venting; don’t rebut• Paraphrase neutrally• Acknowledge his caring about the issue• Apologize for mistakes• Ask to explain your point of view• Request to meet privately• Ask if he is upset with you


Drawing

Put your business card in the basket to:• Be added to our mailing list• Enter drawing for free copy

of Peer Power


Classroom Workshops

• Six modules (customizable)

• Face-to-face and virtual classroom

• Based on adult learning principles

• Interactive and collaborative

• Practical skill-building

• Blended with podcasts and online assessments


Final Thought

“It’s more important than ever to supply your workers with new tools, training, and techniques to help maintain a positive and engaging work environment that leads to higher productivity and strong business results.”

Making it Work: Strategies to Manage the Crazy Makers in the Workplace

Business

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