Make Your Essay Sizzle...

EESSSSAAYY

xamples

necdotes

entence Train

imiles & Figurative Language

ou said; they said.

Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

Here’s the second body paragraph of a paragraph about the perfect career.

This is a standard five-sentence paragraph. It’s okay, but it doesn’t SIZZLE...

Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while talking with customers and coworkers. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

Examples

EExamplesWrite three examples to support the following topic sentence. Be sure to connect your ideas with transition words.

TOPIC SENTENCE:Amusement parks provide fun for the entire family.

Now add an example to your paper....

Sentence Train

AdjectivesAdjectives.....

PUT IN Link to Mr. Childers Sentence Train....

Add three adjectives to every body paragraph.

Vivid VerbsVivid Verbs.....

Sentence TrainSentence Train

Find repetitive or boring verbs...change them to a vivid verb. Use thesaurus if needed.

SS imiles & Figurative LanguageTry to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors.

Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a

heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life.

From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the land.

Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard.

My mother always takes care of us.

The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

SSimiles & Figurative LanguageTry to spot the similes or metaphors in the following sentence. Write them down on your paper and tell whether they are similes or metaphors.

Now, Tony, who has been a member of a street gang for five years, is a

heartless brutal machine with no regard for human life.

From an airplane, people look like a bunch of ants traveling across the

land.

Her hands were like butterflies fluttering across the keyboard.

My mother always takes care of us.

The best dog I ever owned was a brown and white beagle that we found in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

METAPHOR

SIMILE

SIMILE

SSimiles & Figurative LanguageWrite a simile or metaphor to complete at least three of the following

sentences.

I jumped like ______________________ when the

doorbell rang.

She was as pleased as ________________ when she opened the present.

My father is an expert golfer. When he hit the ball it flew away

like_____________________________.

After his surprise birthday party, Jake was as happy as __________________.

SSimiles & Figurative LanguageOther figurative language:

Write

Onomatopoeia –”splash”; “bark”; “tap”; “slam”

Alliteration-several words that begin with the same letter.

Another reason I would like to be in cosmetology is because I think it would be fun to talk to people. For example, cosmetologists are able to complete most all of their work while chatting with customers and coworkers. With the talking, the hairdryers, and the phone ringing every few minutes, a hairdresser’s shop is as busy as a beehive. I love talking to people. Although I don’t usually talk much in class, I love talking to friends in the hallway. As a cosmetologist, I could talk to customers while I work on their hair. It would be fun to do hair and talk.

Similes & Other Figurative LanguageSimiles & Other Figurative Language

1. Add at least one simile or metaphor.2. Add at least one onomatopoeia or alliteration.

Anecdotes

Go to Mr. Childers Anecdote Cheat Codes

Anecdotes-It doesn’t have to be true.Anecdotes-It doesn’t have to be true.

Add at least one anecdote into your essay.

We’ll guess...is it a lie?

You said; they said. Quotes & Dialogue

Show Mr. Childers’ Cheat CodesQuotes and Dialogue

You said; they said. You said; they said. (Quotes and Dialogue)(Quotes and Dialogue)

Add dialogue into your anecdote or add a quote into another part of your paper.

Another Suggestion

Compare your topic to another.Compare Christmas to Easter or Fourth of July to Thanksgiving.

Other Good Suggestions.... Compare and Contrast (and a few more examples).

Add interesting ending sentence

I think I counted 14 sentences...

You have to admit, it was much more interesting than the first one...and it was well on it’s way to getting a six as part of a bigger essay.

Now it’s your turn...

• Skip your introduction. We’ll work on it Friday.

• Find your first body paragraph.• Go through your elaboration list step by

step...adding each element as you go.• If you have to make up an anecdote or

dialogue element, it’s okay.• When your first body paragraph has 10 or

more sentences, try the next one.

Don’t zip through it...If you do a good job...it should take you the rest of class or longer to fully elaborate your paragraphs.