Part three: ‘He’s Just that Into You’series: ‘faithful to me’ When thinking through the theme of tonight’s message, ‘how to attract a man’, I found that I had no shortage of online resources, and magazines explaining how this would be possible for women. Aside of a dozen or so magazine front covers detailing ‘10 way to blow his mind’ and ‘21 tips to blah blah blah’ I came across an interesting article explaining how to really win a guy over.

Here’s what it had to say. Point 1; realize you only have one chance to make a good first impression. Appearances do count. Point 2; give him a reason to think about you. Wear a lingering fragrance that

haunts his memory, soft clothes that he yearns to touch, a smile that he can't get out of his mind. Point 3 & 4; appeal to his senses with your sensuous voice, fragrance, clothing and appearance. Flirt with him by sending silent signals of your interest through subtle body language.

By the time I was done (and alarmed), I thought, “this isn’t advice on how to find a man, this is a recipe for getting a horny guy to sleep with you!” Which is a whole other message I’m not yet prepared to preach.

The one I am ready to preach however revolves around the

same theme, ‘how to attract a GODLY man.’ I’m essentially taking the same approach I did with last weekend’s message when I spoke with the guys. First off, we’re looking at the same chapter in Ruth, chapter two. Secondly, we will look at the story from Ruth’s perspective this time around. Thirdly, most of my counsel will focus on character qualities in your life that can be improved and that will ultimately cause you to stand out to God, who in turn is ultimately the one who’ll lead you to your spouse.

With that said, let’s jump right into chapter two again, “Now Naomi had a relative on her

theREMIX is the college and 20something ministry of Grace the church on the Mount.

As part of a church-wide vision to raise up a generation of families that are built to last, our goal is to prepare young adults to engage in healthy relationships at every level of their lives. Hence, our worship gatherings are designed to equip young adults with biblical truths so that they in turn influence the people in their lives for Jesus Christ

MATTHEW 22:37-39

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husband's side, from the clan of Elimelech, a man of standing, whose name was Boaz. 2 And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, "Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor." Naomi said to her, "Go ahead, my daughter." (Ruth 2:1-2)

First quality in Ruth’s life that caused her to stand out to Boaz is this: RUTH WAS AN INDUSTRIOUS WOMAN (verse 2, 6-7, 17).

To appreciate how industrious, or hard-working Ruth was, you have to remember a few things. Number one, she is a foreigner from Moab, Israel is not her home. To be a female foreigner out in the fields with so many male workers could be risky because any unscrupulous characters could try to take advantage of her.

In fact later on in verse 22, her mother in-law Naomi cautions her about being in public for fear of being harmed. Add to that little detail the fact that this was during the period in Israel when scriptures say, “everyone did what was right in their own eyes.” People had no fear or reverence for God, so Ruth risked a lot by going out of her way to provide for herself and her grandmother. Number two, both of these women were widows and had no man to provide for them. It’s fair to say they were dirt-poor, which really makes her relationship with Boaz even more extraordinary because he was a man of great wealth.

I highlight those two areas of her life to make the point that she had every reason to sit back and do nothing. She could have reasoned, “well I’m not from here, I don’t know the people or the area – Naomi does, she should be the one out there making contacts” or she could have thought, “it’s too risky to be out there, I could get hurt or raped – it’s much safe if I stay and do nothing”

Those thoughts never even crossed her mind because she had a very strong work ethic, she knew how to make the best use of her time and limited resources. We’re not sure how long she and Naomi have been in Israel, but we know that since their return from Moab, Ruth had discovered that the Old Testament laws made provisions for poor widows, (Deuteronomy 24:19 & Leviticus 19:9-10), and she took advantage of it.

Her industriousness is exactly what the author of Proverbs 31 has in mind when he writes about the wife of noble character. Starting in verse 15, he says, “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.”

So ladies, while you wait for Mr. Right to come sweep you up off your feet, what are you doing with your life? Aside of your regular 9 to 5 job, how are you leveraging your personality, your gifts, your talents, and resources so that you’re growing as a woman, as a professional, as a future mum, and ultimately as a follower of Christ?

Here’s the deal, trusting in God’s provision does not equate idleness. Sitting around trusting God for a spouse does not negate the need to have a life, or a plan. Ruth did both. When she left home to glean in the fields, she was entrusting her journey into God’s hand, but also putting her hands work. She was hoping that in stepping out in faith to make ends meet, she would find favor in her journey, whether it be with man or God.

Here’s what’s incredible about this story, as Ruth stepped out in faith to be industrious, God providentially led her to glean food in a farm owned by her future husband. Look at verse 3, “So she went out and began to glean in the fields behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelech.”

Well, whaddaya know! You know what that’s called? Providence. Providence is when God superintends and guides the normal routine of individuals to accomplish his purpose in their lives. Let me share with you how God’s providence has merged with an industrious attitude in my life. About a year or so before I first met Modupe (my wife), I had been very intentional about my prayers for finding a wife – but all that seem to keep coming my way was ministry opportunities. It was as if God was receiving the wrong text messages from me! ‘Come on God! I want a wife not a job!!’ I remember slowly becoming bitter at one point because I thought He was selfishly trying to keep me just for Himself, not wanting me to have a happy life.

Eventually I got over my own distorted theology, and though I still whined and complained to God about God, I began serving in whatever ministry context I was needed. It was during that same

while you wait for Mr. Right to come sweep you up off your feet, what are you doing with your life?

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period that one of my seminary professors called me aside and invited me on a leadership conference he and his team would be hosting overseas in Nigeria.

Now here’s what’s incredible about God’s providence in this trip, not only was I the only student invited in my entire class of about 250 students, but I raised up all the financial support I needed (over $3000) so fast that they actually asked for my support letter so they could begin using it as a sample-letter for fund raising. But it was crystal clear to me that this was God’s hand guiding and providing for me throughout the whole process.

The closer we got to the trip, the more excited I got about the ministry opportunities God would open up in Nigeria. Forget about a wife, I was looking forward to being the next African Billy Graham. The providential work of God in all of this is that it’s while I was on that leadership trip in Nigeria serving alongside other believers that I met my wife. On the day we arrived and as soon we entered our hotel lobby, I saw Modupe standing by the receptionist desk, and almost instantly I knew that she was the one. I can’t explain it, I just knew. Ironically, I’ve often thought of people who say things like that as weird Christians who have unresolved emotional issue, but that’s exactly what happened to me, and so now I guess I am weird and emotionally disturbed!

The reality is this, the answer to many of our prayers will often come as we step out in faith and engage in the activities and opportunities that God places before us.

Last weekend at REMIX, we shared with you a great opportunity where you could serve over 300 college students for a weekend. It’s a retreat called BIG EVENT, taking place at a young-life camp in Lake Champion, New York, and we have been invited back to serve as a work crew for the weekend. By no means am I implying that your spouse is waiting for you there, but keep in mind that it’s as we take advantage of those opportunities God provides that we clearly find His will for our lives.

Ruth’s industriousness led her to the farm of her future husband, which by the way also played a huge role (industriousness) in his attraction to her. In verse 4, he gets

to work and sees this beautiful woman hard at work, and does the first thing most guys do when they see a girl they like. He turns to a close friend and says, “Dude, who’s the beauty?” If Boaz were any other man, or a man of lesser character, he would have made a move on her right there and then based on the exterior. But because the goal (for you ladies) is to attract a godly man, note what Boaz does next and what really sells him on this relationship. He gets a report from his foreman about Ruth’s character.

So along with being industrious, the second character quality that made Ruth stand out to Boaz was her GOOD

REPUTATION. (verse 6-7 & 11-12)

Listen to the report he gets about her starting in verse 6, “the foreman replied, "She is the Moabitess who came back from Moab with Naomi. 7 she said, 'please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.' she went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.”

Now if I were to ask you what is most impressive in this report about Ruth, some of you might highlight the fact that she willingly stayed and cared for her mother in-law and others might say it’s the fact that she was a hard worker. While those are qualities admirable in any woman, what I find most impressive

is the fact that she made such a good impression on the foreman in such a short time.

I think it says a lot about Ruth character that the foreman whom she’s only known for half a day had only positive things to say about her. He had nothing to gain by praising her; she was one of the “poor folks” whom everyone usually ignored or mistreated. Remember, this was during a time when Israelites did whatever was right in their own eyes. But in those short six hours or so of working on the farm, he had personally observed and heard through the grapevine the kind of woman Ruth was, and he was impressed.

Ladies, the next question is obvious then, what are you doing to build a good reputation for yourselves? Notice I didn’t ask what kind of reputation you currently have, because I’m assuming that you’ve all done or said things in the last 7 min…I mean days, that doesn’t reflect the attitude of Christ in your life.

The easy thing to do to fix this would be to clean up your exterior and all the observable parts of your life. But the truth is that who you are in private will eventually manifest itself in your public life. One easy way is to address this issue is to evaluate your life and ask, “what recurring character flaws keep popping up in my life?” This is an important question to ask because if you don’t begin addressing them now, your future spouse is going to end up getting the worst of it because he has to live with you F-O-RE-V-ER!

So here’s a very practical way to begin building up a good reputation at this

stage of your life. Begin by exposing it because the power of sin is sometimes in its secrecy. In exposing it, you’re confessing your sins not only to God, but to a trusted circle (or individual) of believers who will in turn hold you accountable, and pray for you so you may be healed (James 5:16).

You are well on your way to attracting a godly man when you are industrious, when you have a good reputation, and thirdly, when YOUR LIFE IS MARKED BY HUMILITY (verse 10 & 13).

After receiving an incredible report from his foreman, Boaz makes his move and commends Ruth for her Godly character. He essentially showers her with verbal praises and prayerful blessings. We would

Reputation?What are you doing to grow a godly reputation?

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expect her to be coy about this sudden recognition and praise from this man; because that’s what we do when we receive an expected applaud. When people tell me they were blessed by something I did or said, though I might feign humility in my response by saying, “oh don’t thank me, praise God!”, in the back of my mind, what I’m really thinking is, “hell yeah I’m awesome! For there is none like me!” But when you hear it, it’s been all buttered-up by my ‘Jesus-loving-wording.’ In my flawed humanity, I find it very hard to defer praise when someone tells me how good a job I’ve done, especially when I think I deserve it.

But we find none of that counterfeit humility in Ruth. This woman was genuinely shocked and humbled by God’s favor through Boaz. Listen to what she says in verse 10, “At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, "Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?” later on in verse 13 she continues by saying, “May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord," she said. "You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant—though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls.”

Can you hear the genuine humility in her voice? By law, (Deuteronomy 25:5-1), Boaz had a responsibility to care for the widow of a family member, and Ruth’s husband Elimelech was a relative of his. But that never comes into play in this conversation. Ruth was ever mindful of her status as an alien in the land, hence, she conducted herself in a very respectful and humble manner.

By the way, do not mistake humility for passivity, she was not a walk over – she was a woman of initiative. At the same time, you must not mistake pride with self-confidence, it’s a very thin line that too many of us too easily cross. One way to discern if pride is an issue is to ask, “do you walk around with a constant sense of self-entitlement, bordering on the edge of arrogance?”

Having grown up in two different worlds and schooled in one of the most diverse seminaries in the United States, I observed an interesting cultural mind-shift this week. On Fridays here at Grace church, most of the building is turned into classrooms for homeschoolers, and by God’s sovereign design, their lunch

break space happens to be right outside my office. Suffice to say, I always have live ‘teenage-conversation’ entertainment outside my office.

Anyway, I was in my office working on this particular section of this message when I heard one of the younger kids demanding lunch from his mum. I didn’t see him, but I heard him clearly saying, “mum, I’M HUNGRY!!” mum, I’M HUNGRY!!”

This kid wasn’t pleading for a snack, he was demanding that his mother pull some money out of her pocket and purchase lunch for him because that’s what she’s supposed to do. I called it a cultural mind-shift because I have observed that same scenario in other countries and cultures where a son walks to his mum and asks what’s for lunch. Except, in those settings, there is somewhat of a reverence when those same requests are made.

What had me thinking was how that that western attitude of, “getting what I want, where I want it, however I want it, when I want it” follows us into adulthood, and sometimes into our relationship with Jesus Christ. So we end up treating God like our dad and mum, “God, you owe me! You own gold, silver, men, earth and everything in it. Would you just give me one already! God, I’M HUNGRY!! God, I’M HUNGRY!!”

Do you know what character quality most gets God’s attention? HUMILITY, not self-confidence bordering on the edge of arrogance, HUMILITY! In Isaiah 66:2, God Himself says, “This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” Psalms 149:4says, “For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation” Proverbs 22:4 says, “Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life.”

As in Ruth’s case, God is deeply attracted to and greatly rewards the man or woman who is humble and willing to esteem and consider the needs of others above theirs. Which leads me to the LAST point.

Along with being industrious, having a good reputation even among strangers, and being humble, RUTH WAS ALSO DEEPLY CONSIDERATE OF THE NEEDS OF OTHERS. (verse 14-18)

After meeting Boaz, Ruth returns to work in the fields, but is invited later on during the day to a private lunch gathering. At that meal, Boaz offers her a seat at his table and provides her with a two-course meal, with extra refills if she so desired.

Here is where consideration in her life really shines. Ruth had already gathered

“This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” Psalms 149:4

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enough barley that she and Naomi could feed on for days, but during her meal time, she was so considerate of Naomi back at home that she put aside some of her own lunch meal to take home to her. Let me read the account to you starting in verse 14, “At mealtime Boaz said to her, "Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar." When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had some left over….” when she was done, verse 18 says, “…She carried it back to town, and her mother-in-law saw how much she had gathered. Ruth also brought out and gave her what she had left over after she had eaten enough.”

Though Ruth wasn’t married, she viewed her relationship with Naomi as a covenant relationship with obligations that needed to be fulfilled. She understood that, if she starves, Naomi starves, if she’s blessed, Naomi’s blessed. She could have returned home with a full stomach without Naomi ever knowing she ate a

meal, but Ruth wasn’t that kind of girl. She was deeply considerate for the needs of her mother in-law.

Being considerate is a really important character quality to develop in every relationship in our lives, but I think more so even in marriage. Here’s why, when you get married, your plans for your life are no longer just your plans for your life, it becomes the plan for both of your lives. And sometimes, in some marriages, sacrifices will need to be made to the greater good of the entire family, which means one of you might need to give up your dreams and ambitions so certain immediate needs might be met.

If you have not learned to develop a considerate attitude, your selfishness can and will backfire on you when that day comes. Make sense?

I will finish off tonight with the same counsel I gave last week. Ladies, following these steps does not guarantee that you will find a man. Though I am eager to see over two-

dozen volunteers sign up to serve at BIG EVENT tonight, going to Lake Champion with us does not guarantee that your spouse will be waiting for you in the lobby when we get there.

But this much I will tell you, learning to be industrious with your skills and talent, working hard to build up a godly reputation, growing in humility, and being more considerate of the needs of others around you will make you stand out. It will make you stand out to God, who ultimately will be the one who will lead you to the right field, on the right afternoon, where you will eventually meet the right man who will find you deeply attractive, and by God’s design, ask you to spend the rest of your life with Him.

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WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN?theREMIX meets on Sunday nights at 6:00P.M (year round).

We can be reached online at (www . remixnj . com) You can also find us on Facebook | The Remix Ministry Phone: 973.347.0667. Fax: 973.691.4214 | EMAIL: remixministrynj @ yahoo.com | We meet at GRACE THE CHURCH ON THE MOUNT

Box 35. Route 46 East. Netcong, New Jersey, 07857 (Next to CITGO gas station)