Loving Yourself

Personal Empowerment

Emotions, Behaviors and Management Tools

Dametrice A. Hayward

INTRODUCTION Personal Management Tools program provides

opportunities to discover and explore past, present and future events, relationships and daily living that have impacted behaviors, reactions and decision making. The program leads to greater self awareness, designed to help people become aware of them, along with self destructiveness. By accessing self knowledge this program can be helpful in identifying emotional issues and behavioral patterns that can help in the healing process.

TABLE OF CONTENTSTABLE OF CONTENTS

Phase IEmotions – Giving Your Power

Away...........................................................................

Abandonment ~ Powerlessness ~ Resentment ~ Sadness ~ Regret ~ Anger ~ Jealousy Need ~ Unworthy ~ Loneliness ~ Judgment ~ Temptation

Phase IIBehaviors – Reactions to Your

Emotions………………...............................................

Resistance ~ Denial ~ Expectations ~ Controlling ~ Blaming Others ~ Victim ~ Beating Up On Yourself ~ Reactions ~ Patterns ~ Manipulation

Phase IIIThe Way Out – Tools………………………………………………………………………

Courage ~ Open ~ Awareness ~ Acceptance ~ Feelings ~ Responsibility ~ Change ~ Surrender ~ Forgiveness ~ Gratitude ~ Truth ~ Integrity ~ Unconditional Love ~ Choice ~ Beliefs ~ Thought ~ Ego ~ Need To Be Right ~ Meaning ~ Create ~ Relationships ~ Practice

Phase IEmotions

Abandonment Write your thoughts/feelings below

Resentment

Write your thoughts/feelings below Powerlessness

Write your thoughts/feelings below Sadness Write your thoughts/feelings below

Regret Write your thoughts/feelings below Anger

Write your thoughts/feelings below

Jealousy Write your thoughts/feelings below Need

Write your thoughts/feelings below Unworthy Write your thoughts/feelings below Loneliness

Write your thoughts/feelings below Judgment

Write your thoughts/feelings below Temptation Write your thoughts/feelings below

Loving Yourself[Emotions]

(Giving Your Power Away)

[Different parts of your personality that has to be healed. They are also known as triggers.]

Don’t react. Make a conscious choice to select love above all else, for myself and for others. Always be aware of what’s going on. Don’t think about it be about it. In order to have something different I have to be something different. I attract what I am. The different triggers listed above are forms of fear and they are part of my personality which are painful and will be healed. Every time a trigger occurs, stop myself and ask what part of myself is showing up. My attention will be focused on healing the parts of my personality that is triggered. Working on myself can be very challenging but remember a challenge is an intention to change myself for the better.

Copyright © 2003 by Dametrice Ann Hayward

ANGER Anger is a response to being frustrated, anger is also a belief that your self image is being questioned. When you’re feeling this emotion your sense of personal power is being deprived and you feel powerless. The core issue of anger is lack of self worth.

Anger is a barrier that disconnects you from others. It cripples you. You’re unable to move forward. When your angry it’s much easier to blame others for how your feeling instead of finding out why your so angry. People who are angry are in constant pain and this pain never goes away it gets buried deeper and deeper until you can’t stand the pain any longer. When your in this much pain you become unapproachable, lash at others and justify your negative behavior. You become judge and jury.

When you’re this angry you feel your incapable of being understood. But what is really showing up in your life is your ego. Your ego is keeping you from seeing that you’re angry at yourself, not who you think your angry with. Your never angry for the reason you think you are. Blaming others for the choices you made is a lot easier than looking at yourself. Anger is your resistance to things not looking the way you think they should look.

Anger

Resistance

Continue Being Angry Recognize Opportunities That Help You Get To The Core Issue Of Being Angry

JUDGMENTJudgment is scrutiny of people or events that you don’t identify with. When your being judgmental you have imposed your principles and criticism upon another. Being judgmental says your closed to learning new levels of understanding. Judgment means being critical to others reality.

People who judge feel superior to others. They use judgment as a weapon of defense for their own authority. When we judge what people have done as right and wrong, what we are really telling them is how they think or live is not valid There way is the better way and if you don’t act in accordance with what they think something will be taken away from them. And it’s usually love and everyone wants to be loved including the person that’s doing the judging.

Judgments are often based upon previous experiences of others and have very little value because they are judgments you have incorporated into your truth as your own.

When you are feeling the emotion of being judgmental you are redirecting your attention from yourself to others. It’s an issue of needing to be right. Everything has to meet your approval. Judging others is very complex because when you’re judging others you are being resistant to seeing what you really don’t like about yourself. And if you didn’t have the same characteristics you would not be judging or reacting to the situation.

Until you can see judgment as opportunity to look at yourself you will continue to judge others.

Judgment

Right and Wrong

Resistance

Looking At Yourself Continue To Be Judgmental

Phase IIBehaviors

Loving Yourself[Behaviors]

(Reactions To Your Emotions)

[Painful behaviors that are challenging to recognize, but can and will be healed.]

 

Listed above are behaviors that you have been resisting. These above listed behaviors are reactions to your personality that haven’t been healed. When you have been triggered by these behaviors it’s an opportunity to practice being and doing something different. Anyone can know this information in theory; however it takes a committed person to incorporate this information into your life in order to change your life and move in a more positive direction. Always remember to keep an open mind and not be resistant to what you’re going to find out about yourself. Always remember that if you accept that your life hasn’t been working then it’s time to do something different. Be the change you want to see.

Copyright © 2007 by Dametrice Ann Hayward

ResistanceWrite your thoughts/feelings below

DenialWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Expectations

Write your thoughts/feelings below

ControllingWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Blaming Others

Write your thoughts/feelings below

VictimWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Beating Up On YourselfWrite your thoughts/feelings

below

ReactionsWrite your thoughts/feelings below

PatternsWrite your thoughts/feelings below

ManipulationWrite your thoughts/feelings below

BLAMING OTHERSBlame is avoidance of responsibility. People who are blaming others are negligent and irresponsible. They haven’t acknowledged accountability for themselves. Blaming others is giving your power away and a form of fear.

When you’re blaming others you are holding others responsible for what you are accountable for. People who are blaming others never take notice of the part they have played in creating their own mess in there lives. It’s always them not me. The entire function of blaming others is to export responsibility to others and hoping we are be able to steer away from the work that being responsible always entails.

Blaming others always involves passing the buck and making someone else responsibility for fixing it. It happens everywhere. (Home, Work, Relationships and Family) They delegate it to someone else or some where else. And in any given situation there always looking outside themselves instead of looking at themselves.

Blaming Others

Victim

Taking Responsibility

REACTIONSYOUR BUTTONS HAVE BEEN PUSHED!

When you've reacted it usually means that your buttons have been pushed. Your reacting to a person or situation with confrontation and have little consideration or regard to the consequences.

It’s imperative that you become aware of what pushes your buttons. Because the more you know about what is likely to push your buttons, the more you can anticipate your reaction and are less likely to react to others. When your in the midst of the behavior of reacting and your conscious of what’s going on inside of you (feelings and thoughts) you can choose to react in an apprioate manner and avoid devastating consequences.

When your reacting in a negative manner to what someone has said, some part of you believes what the person has said or else why are you reacting? Why let it bother you if what the person says is not true. Reacting can be used as a positive tool to find out what you really think about yourself. If someone says something to you that triggers you, stop yourself and ask yourself why are you triggered? Why are my buttons been pushed? What am I believing about myself? The solution is keep the focus on yourself when your buttons have been pushed. It has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with you.

REACTING+ BUTTONS BEING PUSHED+AWARNESS=CHANGED BEHAVIORS

Phase IIIThe Way Out

Tools

Loving Yourself[Tools]

(Create A New Reality)

[Listed below are pain killers. If you want the pain to stop, this is the way out. ]

 

Let these tools work together, to trigger everything hiding in the dark, to bring everything into the light. To heal, accept and create. The tools listed above were created to guide you, and bring you the results that your heart desires. It’s life changing only if you apply this information to your life. This takes practice. Practice gets the results you desire. If you continue to react negatively it will only produce the same results over and over again. Every time a trigger occurs, stop and ask yourself, is this the result I desire?

If it’s not be aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Then make another choice. Copyright © 2007 by Dametrice Ann Hayward

CourageWrite your thoughts/feelings below

OpenWrite your thoughts/feelings below

AwarenessWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Acceptance

Write your thoughts/feelings below

FeelingsWrite your thoughts/feelings below

ResponsibilityWrite your thoughts/feelings below

ChangeWrite your thoughts/feelings below

SurrenderWrite your thoughts/feelings below

ForgivenessWrite your thoughts/feelings below

GratitudeWrite your thoughts/feelings below

TruthWrite your thoughts/feelings below

IntegrityWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Loving Yourself[Tools]

(Create A New Reality)

[Listed below are pain killers. If you want the pain to stop, this is the way out. ]

 

Let these tools work together, to trigger everything hiding in the dark, to bring everything into the light. To heal, accept and create. The tools listed above were created to guide you, and bring you the results that your heart desires. It’s life changing only if you apply this information to your life. This takes practice. Practice gets the results you desire. If you continue to react negatively it will only produce the same results over and over again. Every time a trigger occurs, stop and ask yourself, is this the result I desire?

If it’s not be aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Then make another choice. Copyright © 2007 by Dametrice Ann Hayward

Unconditional Love

Write your thoughts/feelings below

ChoiceWrite your thoughts/feelings below

BeliefsWrite your thoughts/feelings below

ThoughtWrite your thoughts/feelings below

EgoWrite your thoughts/feelings below

Need To Be Right

Write your thoughts/feelings below

MeaningWrite your thoughts/feelings below

CreateWrite your thoughts/feelings below

RelationshipsWrite your thoughts/feelings below

PracticeWrite your thoughts/feelings below

CONTINUED

People who need to be right are cynical, close off and unreceptive. They are unwilling to hear another’s point of view. There persistent in there way of thinking, and believes what is true for them is true for everyone and becoming outraged when people disagree.

The backbone of the need to be right is conflict. Conflict is the only solution if you don’t give up the need to be right. Right and wrong are tools that are used in the conflict. All forms of the ego. When the need to be right is triggered it’s usually because of an disagreement and the person involved will not give up until there right. They will do anything to be right including being happy. The question is do you want to be happy or be right? When engaging in an argument you have to stop yourself, step back from the situation and expand your perception. You have to take responsibility for the part you played in the conflict rather than blaming another.

When resolving a conflict let go of the past and focus on the healing. Try and let go of your ego. Keep the conflict between the people involved. Don’t tell the story to others, to build alliances against that person. And, you have to talk, listen don’t react. Respect each others feelings. Ask yourself if the relationship is important enough to save. Always try to remember when your in a conflicting situation it’s a chance for growth and an opportunity to learn. Show compassion and come up with a solution.

Conflicts

Need to right

Judgment Let Go Of Ego

NEED TO BE RIGHT

Your story consist of thought, feelings and actions THOUGHTS

Thought is nothing more than an notion fabricated in your psyche that sometimes is not reality.

FEELINGSFeelings are created by thoughts.

Your feelings create behaviors, and your feeling are a clear indication of what your thinking.

ACTIONSActions are the reactions to your thoughts and feelings.

What you are thinking are thoughts that you have given meaning to. Thoughts have no meaning unless you give meaning to them. You have to realize that how your feeling can be changed when you change the meaning you give situations or circumstances. When you change meanings, thoughts and feeling changes automatically. If your having a destructive thought and your feeling dreadful, what kind of actions are you going to express?

SO BE AWARE OF THE MEANING YOU GIVE THINGS BECAUSE USUALLY IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.

THE MEANING YOU GIVE THINGS

In closing, in order to see successful changes in your life it’s imperative to practice the tools enclosed in this phase. While practing there will be times when you will think, this is not working. You will have set backs and you will experience levels of the same issue returning. This is the time when you must continue. You have to remember that the issues you have occurred are not going to vanish over night. It going to take time, so be patient with yourself and don’t give up on yourself. Know that everything happens in divine time and your circumstances will get better. If you don’t practice you will continue to see the same results over and over again. The tools enclosed really work. You have to be consistent when applying the enclosed tools. Repetition is required. And always remember this is work in progress. This process requires constant awareness of your emotions, behaviors, thoughts and beliefs.

There are some things that you are going to find out about yourself and it’s going to be very difficult to acknowledge, it will be painful. However you can do it. Don’t ever give up. Because whether you recognize it or not, you’re going to do this work regardless. So, it would be best to continue consciously instead of unconsciously.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICEPRACTICE IS REQUIRED EVERYWHERE,LOVE

RELATIONSHIPS, WORK, FINACES, WHERE YOU LIVE AND FAMILY

WITHOUT PRACTICE IT’S JUST THEROY

PRACTICE