Loss: A Weaving of Words (Part the III)

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    LossA

    weaving of words

    Part the III

    By:

    Caleb Alan Kestner

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    LossA

    weaving of words

    Part the III

    By:

    Caleb Alan Kestner

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    Copyright 2009 by Caleb Kestner.

    All Rights Reserved.

    (I make no claim to the illustrations; they are in no way my creation, unless otherwise

    noted. If you happen to know the author of one of the pictures listed, as anonymous,please let me know so I can give them proper credit.)

    2nd

    Story PressMinneapolis, Minnesota

    Printed in the United States

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    This book is dedicated to my Mom.

    Who gave me words.Thank you.

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    Contents

    iiiXXVII. Simply Simplicity

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~13

    iiXXVIII. Leaving Normal

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~14

    iiiiXXIX. Loss

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~18

    iiiiiXXX. Torn

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~21

    iiiiXXXI. Pure

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~22

    iiiXXXII. War of the Hours

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~25

    iiXXXIII. Why to War?

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~26

    iiXXXIV. Cruentus Rosa~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~29

    iiiXXXV. Vitium

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~30

    iiXXXVI. Civilization

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~33

    iXXXVII. Read it all or not at all

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~34

    XXXVIII. Words

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~37

    iiXXXIX. Faust

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~38

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    Illustrations

    Venetian Mask ~ Anonymous

    The Looking Glass (In) ~ John Tenniel

    Caravan ~Charles Theodore FrereDon Quixote ~ Gustave Dor

    Laputa ~ Anonymous

    Pandora ~ John William Waterhouse

    The Looking Glass (Out) ~ John Tenniel

    Eyes of Sorrow ~ lilfuzz6

    Torn ~ Deusuum

    New Snow ~ Anonymous

    Black Angel ~ Luis Royo

    Gunsmoke ~ David Cartwright

    Red Rose ~ Anonymous

    Smaug ~ John Howe

    Angkor Wat ~ Commons

    Der Bcherwurm ~ Carl Spitzweg

    Silenced ~ Anonymous

    Faust ~ Anonymous

    12

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    27

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    31

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    35

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    One science only will one genius fit; so vast is art, so narrow human wit.

    Alexander Pope

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    Simply Simplicity

    Simply simplicity, mask upon mask

    New faces painted for every task

    Shattered existence never unveiled

    Never revealing the things that they've failed

    Pain never shown, tears never cried

    Knowing with ever laugh that they've lied

    Anger is licensed, bound and controlled

    Slowly entrapped by the things they've been told

    Farewell to infinity, patterns on the floor

    Ever situation feeds an appetite for more

    Grasping for the moments, things that quickly fade

    Locked within this prison of possessions that they've made

    Blind to the faults that have encrusted their soul

    Ever astounded that theyre never quite whole

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    Leaving Normal

    Stepping through the looking glassthere is no stepping back

    The journey once acceptedis a never-ending track

    Adventure leads to places

    that we should not dare to go

    Questions lead to answersthat we should not dare to know

    To wander through the wardrobeis to leave whats safe behind

    Forever leaving normal

    for the hope of what you'll find

    A journey of a thousand stepsthat cannot be retraced

    A single step once takenthat can never be erased

    Dangerous the road that flows

    away from your front door

    Keep your feet or it may sweepyou to a distant shore

    Should ever you joust windmillsor travel mystic lands

    Blaze trails through rotting junglescaravan cross burning sand

    Remember with each victory

    theres also something lost

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    Theres a price for each adventurethats not always worth the cost

    So whether its the seven seas

    or past the worlds own edge

    Regardless of the paths you takeor promises you pledge

    Should find you Never Never Land

    and finding choose to go

    All that which you had aforewill neer again be so

    For once youve rode Laputa

    or Pandoras Box unbound

    Once love has hold your spiritor wisdom had been found

    Once blind eyes have been opened

    or sirens song is heard

    Once tragedy has struck so hardthat laughter seems absurd

    Once Wonderland is entered

    your soul is ever changed

    The world you left behind youis ever left estranged

    You can return to bridges burned

    but oer them none may pass

    For once you stray there is no wayto get back through the glass

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    LossWorst of sorrows, deepest dreadThrobbing thoughts that fill my head

    Hollow heart far less then wholeUn-cried tears that bind my soul

    Moments slip through listless handsDeath that know one understands

    How can beauty fade so fast?Future's promise turned to past

    Hours lifted up on highCrashing down as time ticks byVibrant life so quickly lost

    Is ever death perfections cost?Who are we to dictate when?

    A vapor dies within the windBut still my mind can't comprehend

    Why life so young should have to endI know that all must cease to be

    That death the soul from flesh does freeBut knowledge doesn't staunch the pain

    Or calm the maelstrom in my brainMy aching pain no logic sees or understanding knows

    It merely burns through every nerve or vein through which it flowsI cannot ever truly come to terms with what is gone

    It's one more thing I carry as I'm forced to move alongMissing moments, day's undone

    Words unfinished, fights unwonWhen everything has gone away

    And night has finally conquered dayPast the endless sea of death indeed may be much more

    But all that's ever left is loss for those upon the shore

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    Torn

    Torn in two my sides compete

    Each the other to defeat

    Light and darkness, black and white

    Good and evil, wrong and right

    Ever hungry wanting more

    Ever yearning for their war

    Different parts of all thats me

    Two reflections I could see

    Past and future, lost and found

    Happy heartache, silent sound

    True deception, honest lie

    Deep within I live to die

    Hope eternal yet may spring

    Everlasting light to bring

    Battles wait still to be waged

    Souls in flesh remain still cagedPassions follow passions lead

    Hearts are chained and hearts are freed

    Chaos of the human soul

    Ever straining to be whole

    Light to light and sin to sin

    What is fed is sure to win

    Time unmeasured time to few

    What we are is what we do

    In the end one side must lose

    Beware the torn piece you choose

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    Pure

    Frozen tears from heaven fall as snow upon the ground

    Pure white the only color, silence all the sound

    All my tracks are covered, every step that walked away

    Unbroken is the path ahead as if to gently say

    Your trespasses are covered, your debts have all been paid

    Your many sins forgiven, your broken heart remade

    Your past is left behind, you your future yet to be

    Your present undecided as you struggle to be free

    Two roads remain before you, the wide and narrow wayOne leads to your salvation, the other leads astray

    Redemption has been granted, but still you must decide

    Your steps not your intentions will control which one is tried

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    War of the Hours

    Against my monster I wage war

    Ever certain, never sure

    A blackness deep inside of me

    Locked within, yet running free

    Sins seduction, bittersweet

    Crippled wings, still fight to beat

    I yearn to live yet choose to die

    I try to laugh, but only cry

    The hours pass in dark of night

    My soul cries out in search of light

    My spirit mourns for what Ive lost

    My fight is weakened by its cost

    Loss of love, I fall and weep

    Love they gave, I failed to keep

    War of the Hours never done

    Never finished never won

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    Why to war?

    Why to war go charging we on steeds of righteous rage?

    Slashing through in shining suits the battles that we wage

    We justify their dying cries by crying, we cried too!"

    And death breeds hate, breeds rage, breeds death, in cycles all to true

    Is peace the just reward of war? Or war corrupted peace?

    Is all of man so twisted that this murder we can't cease?

    But then again is all death sin? Do all deserve to live?

    If someone strives to take a life can we to them it give?

    Is it not right to take a life that other lives may grow?

    But what if both are victim, both of them the foe?

    How can we bind the broken sides and sooth the years of hate?

    When will the children of revenge learn blood their thirst won't sate?

    War that necessary bane that plague upon mankind.

    Ever doomed to die for life we never seem to find.

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    Cruentus Rosa

    Frozen beauty hearts unfold

    Blood red petals spun of gold

    Razor thorns of all life's pains

    Spot its emerald stem like stains

    Blushing blooms that greet the dawn

    An instant here, in an instant gone

    A leaf unfurls to morning light

    And bids farewell the fading night

    Grown from grief and misery,

    watered by our tears

    A symbol of our beauty,

    an image of our fears

    A painful beauty worth the cost

    Risking love that could be lost

    Cruentus Rosa, Blood-Red Rose

    The splendor of pain

    from which

    love

    grows

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    Vitium

    Then look upon the monsters maw

    Where diamond daggers line its jaw

    Its tongue a velvet soft as sleep

    And Gold along its throat is heaped

    The smell of spices sweet and strong is heavy on its breath

    An enticing blend fragrances that masks the stench of death

    Its granite eyes give off a glare as cold as winter skies

    Hypnotically it stares at you and whispers frigid lies

    Its scales are polished silver with an iridescent glow

    Its fingers end in milky claws as pure as crimson snow

    My way is easy, fun and fast it says and smiles wide

    Come taste the fruit of vanity and drink the wine of pride

    It slowly inches closer as its prey begins to near

    Promising them all they ask to wash away theyre fear

    Indulgence is such pleasing sport and temperance so dull

    Lust is such delightful bliss just let your conscious lull

    And as theyre slowly swallowed up the illusion disappears

    They realize the choice theyve made has a price thats paid in tears

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    Civilization

    Upon this place that once would be

    There sat a still of symmetry

    But now that day has gone away

    Tomorrows lost in past todays

    The trees once green are gnarled and dry

    Once great beauty slowly dies

    Here once stood the triumph of man

    Now naught remains but deaths cool hand

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    Read it all or not at all

    Read it all or not at allthe words with which youre fed

    Contemplate before you sate

    yourself with what youve read

    Take the time to see the rhymein all you dare to know

    The reasons for the learned loreand all that it might show

    Look within as you begin

    to ponder what you gain

    Remember to in all you doan open mind retain

    Dare stand firm as you confirm

    what yet may not be true

    Then believe what you receiveno matter what you do

    Keep inside the things you hide

    until they can be free

    Ever blind to thus remindyou of what none can see

    Still remains the slight refrainsthat never truly leave

    Cautious hands that work the strandsof every dream we weave

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    Words

    A mask of silence a voice restrainedWords withheld to stop the pain

    Misunderstanding, refusing to hear

    Why try to speak when the sound isnt clear

    Silence is taught so silence is learnedA book not yet written is already burned

    My voice tries to speak, they push it away

    Nobody cares what you have to say

    There are those whod listen, but Im locked in a tranceThe risk of rejection to painful a chance

    Im not always like this and I wont always be

    But you must understand this too understand me

    Theres a part of me missing that Ive yet to findA feeling of confidence lost in my mind

    Im fixing my problems but the progress is slowIn time wounds may heal but scars always show

    I may never be perfect, I may never be wholeI may always be haunted by the flaws in my soul

    But I still treasure beauty and I still trust in hope

    I have faith in the power of my spirit to cope

    I may never be famous I may never be knownMy gifts and my talents may never be shown

    But that has no bearing on what I might be

    The extent of my purpose is left up to me

    Im as strong as my weakness as true as my liesAnd Ill fall just as much as Im willing to rise

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    Faust

    As I move along a world gone wrong, nothing seems to lastEvery possibility corrupted by the past

    The bloody stains of broken veins, to me a message send

    Evidence of time gone by when hearts refused to bend

    A symphony calls out to me, in sounds that I can't hear

    An orchestra of majesty drowned out by roaring fear

    And turning I look to the sky, but still I cannot see

    For wretched clouds of sorrow drift between the sun and me

    A sadness falls as darkness calls, a message all too clear

    And the demons on my shoulder whispers lies of hate and fear

    Times running out the demons shout, its far too late to turnYou made the choice , you sold your soul and now its time to burn

    Deep within I feel the sin, that seals my fate in blood

    That turns the purists of my deeds to worse then muck or mud

    I have no hope with which to cope, Im doomed to worse then death

    But as the demons cackle the wind breathes one last breath

    The morbid shroud of blackened cloud, is split from up on high

    The demons look with fearful glares and cease their piercing cry

    A shaft of light engulfs my sight, it blinds me yet I see

    And something moves within it as my demons start to flee

    An angel stands with sword in hand, hes robed in blazing whiteHis splendor overpowers and I cower at the sight

    Arise and hear and do not fear,but still my body quakes

    I think of all my many sins, my numerous mistakes

    Its far too late Ive sealed my fate, Ive sold my soul to hell

    He says in words of pure compassion it was not yours to sellWeeping I now raise an eye, and see his outstretched hand

    Its yours but you must chose it, your heart God wont command

    But I have strayed and not obeyed, Ive lived a life of sin

    For such as you he sacrificed his everything to winHow can it be hed see in me, a soul thats worth that cost

    Because you are his children and he loves you, though your lostAnd that is why he chose to die. So that you might be found

    And of your own decision by sin no more be boundI take his hand and rising stand, Ive nothing left to say

    My final moments now are past, he takes my soul away

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    Continued in . . .

    ItsAweaving of wordsPart the IV

    By:

    Caleb Alan Kestner

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