“God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”

Psalm 68:6

E N C O U N T E R W I T H T R U T H

b y

D r . S t e p h e n O l f o r d

LONELINESS

Except where otherwise noted, the Scriptures quoted in this booklet are from the New American Standard Bible, © The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975. Used by permission.

Other Scripture quotations are from the following: KJV, King James Version.

Copyright © 1997 By Stephen F. Olford Ministries

International ISBN: 0-8010-6670-0

Contents

INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................................................... 1

THE MISERY OF LONELINESS .......................................................................................................... 1

THE MINISTRY OF LONELINESS ....................................................................................................... 2

THE MASTERY OF LONELINESS ....................................................................................................... 2

NOW THIS FINAL WORD ................................................................................................................. 4

1

Encounter with Loneliness On October 4, 1970, Janis Joplin at the age of 27 was found dead in her Los Angeles

hotel room. Questions arose as to whether the cause of her tragic death was suicide or an accident.

Later the police reported that they had located a small quantity of heroin in the rock singer’s room. There were fresh needle marks on her arm. Just before this incident, Janis had admitted to a friend, “When I am not on the theater stage, I just lie around and watch television and feel very lonely.”1

That one remark, “I feel very lonely,” strikes a sympathetic chord in all our hearts, for loneliness is one of the biggest problems that young and old face today. Let me cite one or two other examples to substantiate this.

Thomas Wolfe, one of our country’s greatest novelists, once wrote that “Loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.”2

The world-famous historian H.G. Wells said on his sixty-fifth birthday, “I am sixty-five, and I am lonely.”3

And in more recent times, the late Dag Hammarskjold, former Secretary-General of the United Nations, confessed sadly in his private diary, “Alone beside the moorland spring, once again you are aware of your loneliness as it is and always has been.”4

Even the Hebrew Psalmist registered a similar sense of desolation when he cried, “(Lord,) turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”5

And yet, as we study the Bible, we discover that God never intended man to be lonely! Indeed, when He created Adam he saw it was not good for him to live alone and so made a helpmeet for him.6

It is not without significance, therefore, that we read, “God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”7 I want to take these words and analyze them and then apply them to this whole problem of loneliness.

In this first place, I see reflected here:

THE MISERY OF LONELINESS “God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity.” Nothing

is lonelier than a state of captivity. This was the miserable lot of God’s ancient people in the land of Egypt. But there is a sense in which the Israelites were not unique. You and I know something of this loneliness of captivity, even amid the advantages and disadvantages of

2

contemporary life. Think of the problems at home and the pressures at work that seem to lock you up in your Egypt of fear or failure or frustration.

I repeat, there is nothing lonelier than a state of captivity. Indeed, the ravages of this kind of loneliness create some of the most complex disorders in human experience. This is why Dr. Paul Tournier, the eminent Swiss psychiatrist, has called loneliness “the most devastating malady of the age.”8 Truly, there can be misery in loneliness. And yet, as strange as it is to state it, our text reveals that there is:

THE MINISTRY OF LONELINESS “God makes a home for the lonely…only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”

God has so constituted us that when we rebel against Him we end up in a land of desolation and loneliness.

In other words, the ministry of loneliness teaches us that rebellion isolates the life. Perhaps the most telling illustration of this relationship between rebellion and isolation is the story of the prodigal son. Rebellion not only isolated the young man from his father, but also from his associates. You’ll remember he ended up in field by himself feeding pigs!

But the redeeming feature is that this loneliness brought him to himself and then back to his father. It was when he came to himself that he said, “I will get up and go to my father.”9

Over the years, I have counseled innumerable people who have told me that it was loneliness that made them quit the life of self-seeking and sin and turn to God for His mercy and pardon. The point is that loneliness will lead you either down the road to ultimate destruction or up the road to repentance and deliverance.

When the prodigal son left home, he had pots of honey and plenty of friends, but rebellion led to riotous living and then to abject poverty. But this is where the Father met the penitent prodigal. The Lord Jesus taught the same principle when He declared, “(Happy) are the poor in spirit (beggars), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”10

Our real concern, however, in this encounter with loneliness is to discover:

THE MASTERY OF LONELINESS When the Psalmist says, “God makes a home for the lonely (and) leads out the prisoner

into prosperity,” he is giving us the answer to loneliness. As we have observed already, God never intended man to be lonely, and so he made provision for mastering human loneliness.

The first evidence of this is that God cares for the lonely; David reminds us that “a father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in his holy habitation,”11 and then adds, “God makes a home for the lonely.”

3

Even though you may think nobody cares, I want to tell you that God does. In fact, He cares for you infinitely. The greatest demonstration of this fact was the sending of His Son into the world.12

Jesus could look into the faces of his contemporaries and say, “The Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”13 This was the purpose of His advent, and to prove it He not only spent His life searching out the lonely, but He died a lonely death to save you from eternal loneliness.

Think of the poignant words that were uttered on the cross when, with the sense of dereliction, the Son of God cried out, “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?”14 At that moment in time your Savior spelled out the price He had to pay in order that you might be saved from the loneliness of a hell on earth and in an eternity to come.15

But Jesus not only died to save you from loneliness; He rose to keep you from loneliness. That is why He stands at the door of your life and says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door I will come into him, and dine with him, and he with Me.”16 And the wonderful thing is that once He comes in, He never leaves. So, you see, God cares for the lonely.

But more than this, God calls for the lonely. “God makes a home for the lonely,” or, as the King James Version phrases it, “setteth the solitary in families.” Ever since Adam rebelled in the Garden of Eden and entered into a state of lonely isolationism, God has been calling. “(Adam,) where are you?”17 Likewise, God calls you out of your boredom and barrenness into a life of fellowship and fruitfulness. If only you will hear His voice and answer His call you will know the mastery of loneliness.

And there are at least two reasons for this: 1. The life of fellowship to which God calls you overcomes loneliness.

“God makes a home for the lonely,” and that home is the fellowship of Hispeople. So many experience loneliness because they never found or made friends. Andpart of the explanation is that they have never discovered a community wherefriendship is a way of life. One of the definitions for the word “friend” is “one attachedto another by affection or esteem.” And this reminds us of the dictum of our Masterwho said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for oneanother.”18 Where Christians practice this philosophy you will always find friendship, for“a friend loves at all times.”19

2. The life of fruitfulness to which God calls you overcomes loneliness.“God makes a home for the lonely. He leads out the prisoner into prosperity.”

Show me a person who has been brought into a place of prosperity, and I will introduce you to a person who has mastered the problem of loneliness. No one can know the favor of God upon his life without seeking to share his secret with others.

4

A lady in England told me she had suddenly lost her husband. One day he was well and the next he was gone. At first, she was overwhelmed with sorrow and loneliness, but, as she reflected on God’s goodness to her throughout her married years, she decided to visit the lonely and share something of the love of Jesus. This decision subsequently developed into a ministry, which has totally absorbed her time. Instead of being lonely she now has more people to take care of than she ever had in her own home!

How true are the words, “(He) setteth the solitary in families.” Jesus said to his disciples, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should go and remain.”20 And we are reminded that “the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls.”21 I have never met a winner of souls who was lonely, for inherent in the activity of befriending people is the dynamic to overcome loneliness. So, there is a way to encounter loneliness. The secret is in the God who cares and calls

for the lonely, and our key verse has taught us that “God makes a home for the lonely.” It only remains for you to find in Him and His people your HOME!

NOW THIS FINAL WORD A distinguished physician has said that “there is no human condition so acute or so

universal as loneliness.”22 Biblical teaching and practical living confirm this is so. There will be times when loneliness will threaten to overwhelm you, even though you thought you had overcome it. Whenever this happens, remember three things:

1. Loneliness is common to man.Remember, you are not the only one who experiences loneliness. The saints of

all ages have known times of loneliness. “Martin Luther went through a period when he felt so (separated) from the Spirit of God that his wife dressed herself in mourning. ‘Who died?’ Martin asked.

‘From the way you’re acting,’ Mrs. Luther replied, ‘I thought God had died.’”23

Don’t forget that even Jesus was driven by the Spirit into the lonely desert to be tempted by the devil. But since “He Himself was tempted in that which He…suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.”24

2. Loneliness is colored by fear.Remember, loneliness would not be so bad if you did not exaggerate of the

condition by entertaining fears of one kind or another: • You fear that you have offended people and so you have been left alone;• You fear that God has deserted you;• You fear that you are fated to loneliness, and so on.

5

When fear colors your loneliness, face, fight and forget this enemy. And you will have a sense of perspective and poise.25

3. Loneliness is conquered in Christ.Remember that the Christ who died to save you from eternal loneliness rose

again to share His eternal livingness with you. He promises His presence through the Holy Scriptures and through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Scriptures give you the assurance of His presence. This assurance depends on facts rather than on feelings. You have God’s sure Word which says:

• “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”26

• “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”27

• “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.”28

These and more are the promises that God gives to assure you of His personalpresence all the days of your life. To doubt His Word is to doubt His integrity. When David Livingstone’s Bible was examined after his death, alongside of the verse, “Lo, I am with you always,” was found this comment: “The word of a Gentleman.”29

On the other hand, the Holy Spirit gives you the awareness of His presence. Speaking of this ministry of the Holy Spirit, Jesus said, “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides in you, and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”30 To know this conscious presence of the Holy Spirit:

• You must not grieve the Holy Spirit by harboring sin in your life;31

• You must not quench the Holy Spirit by favoring self in your life;32

• You must be filled with the Holy Spirit by yielding to His full control in your life.33

Then and only then will you know the unbroken fellowship of His presence. The only exception to this “communion of the Spirit”34 is when God, at times,

allows you to experience what has been called “the dark night of the soul.” Augustine spoke of this dimension of loneliness when after the death of a close friend, he said; “I could not see how the sun could shine when half my soul lay dead.”35

Some years ago, during a serious illness, I experienced this “dark night of the soul” and had to learn that when and where and how God communes with me is entirely up to Him. I can meet his conditions, but I cannot control His purposes. At such times, I may not feel God’s love, but I can relax in it! The verse that was my pillow and power during this period was: “The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”36 How wonderful to know that however deep you go into “the dark night of the soul,” underneath are the everlasting arms!

6

Footnotes: 1. Source unknown.2. Donald N. Paulson, “How to Deal with Your Loneliness,” The Watchman-Examiner, August 8, 1968, p.494.3. Paulson, “Loneliness,” p. 494.4. Paulson, “Loneliness,” p. 494.5. Psalm 25:16.6. Genesis 2:18.7. Psalm 68:6.8. Billy Graham, “Loneliness: How it Can Be Cured,” The Reader’s Digest, October 1969, p 135.9. Luke 15:18.10. Matthew 5:3.11. Psalm 68:5.12. See John 3:16.13. Luke 19:10.14. Matthew 27:46.15. See 1 Peter 1:18-19.16. Revelation 3:20.17. Genesis 3:9.18. John 13:35.19. Proverbs 17:17.20. John 15:16.21. Proverbs 11:30.22. Graham, “Loneliness,” p. 135.23. Evangelical Newsletter, Vol. 3, No. 18 (July 2, 1976), p. 2.24. Hebrews 2:18.25. See 1 John 4:16-19; see also author’s booklet on Encounter with Fear.26. Matthew 28:20.27. John 14:18.28. Hebrews 13:5.29. Walter Brown Knight, God Cares for You (Chicago: Moody Press, [n.d.]) p. 11.30. John 14:16-18.31. See Ephesians 4:30-32.32. See 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22.33. See Ephesians 5:18; 2 Corinthians 3:17-18.34. 2 Corinthians 13:14, KJV.35. Paulson, “Loneliness,” p. 494.36. Deuteronomy 33:27.