Lone Wolves Pitch Bible

7/30/2019 Lone Wolves Pitch Bible

1/15

EXPERIENCE

FRONT COVER


2/15

Lone Wolves is a gentle prod at lifes foibles as three modern-minded men share a smallsuburban townhouse and struggle, hand in hand, to nd their place in the world--

These are VIOLENT MEN. TOUGH. BROODING.HANDSOME MEN. These men dont share nothin but the

utility bill. They know what they want and what they want is for

you to BACK OFF. TheyreJAZZED UPand STEAMED and ifsomeone gets hurt

WHAT IS LONE WOLVES?NO IT ISNTe

The series takes the form of several 3-4 minute 2D animated episodes, chronicling the

exploits of three implausibly rugged men as they attempt to co-exist and function in

normal society.

THATS TOO BAD.


3/15

MEET THE WOLVES.Too tough for the modern world; incapable of travelling back in time, The Lone Wolves are three of a kind in a deck

full of jokers. Theyll huff and theyll puff and theyll punch you in the face.

GREASER. WOMANISER.

ASSHOLE.

World-weary rebel without a cause, Mich main-

tains a consistent level of obnoxiousness to

keep people out of his face. Struggling to ndanyone who will tolerate his hostile attitude, he

is constantly between part time jobs and turbu-

lent relationships with impossibly sexy women.

All Mich wants is peace but life keeps givin him

lemons. And he dont like lemonade.

BEARD WEARER.

BREAD WINNER.

Grizzled long-haul trucker, Ham knows the score

and he aint afraid to speak it. As the only Wolf

with a modicum of self-control he is often forced

to assume responsibility for the Wolves actions,

but push him too far and he wont hesitate to bust

some heads.

Ham likes to participate in Civil War re-enactments

but since The Incident he isnt allowed within 300yards of anyone dressed as Ulysses S. Grant.

FREELANCE

COMMIE SMASHER.

Paranoid gun-for-hire, Boston thinks with his sts

and they aint too smart. He is a dedicated fan of

conspiracy theories and military spying equipment

and spends the majority of his time preparing for

the impending Russian invasion that he read about

on the internet once.

Boston knows the worlds against him, but he

means to score a knock-out.

Favourite passtime: Shooting wildly into the air.Favourite historical fgure: Han Solo.

Favourite food: Bear.

https://vimeo.com/43310052SEE THE WOLVES IN ACTION IN THE PILOT ANIMATIC
http://vimeo.com/43310052http://vimeo.com/43310052


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EPISODE OUTLINES

LANDLORDHam forces the other Wolves to clean up their

rooms in order to pass a routine inspection.

PUBLIC TRANSPORTAfter trashing their rides on the way to a monstertruck rally, the Wolves each attempt to make their

own way to the show.

CHICKThe three Wolves compete for the affections of

Phoenix Arizona, an old ame who has recently beenreleased from prison.


5/15

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Loud heavy metal blares from a beaten old cassette player.MICH and BOSTON sit, arm wrestling over a table littered

with broken bottles and bear traps.

BLAM! The door flies open and HAMMOND enters.

HAMMONDGuys, what the hell!? You weresposed to clean up today!

BOSTON looks up.

BOSTONWhat?

HAMMONDIts inspection day! Thelandlords comin in 20 minutesand this place is dirtier thanBostons ball sack.

We pan across the room -- the oil-stained floor is hidden

beneath heaps of scrap metal, dirty magazines and emptybeer bottles.

MICHI never heard about noinspection!

HAMMONDI put the letter on the noticeboard two weeks ago!

He gestures to a large dartboard on the far wall -- dozensof unpaid bills and important papers are pinned to it witha variety of knives and arrows. The inspection notice sitsin the centre, tacked on with a tomahawk.

HAM stomps off down the corridor.

HAMMOND (CONTD)Come on.

INT. MICHS ROOM - CONTD

HAM flicks on the light switch -- an old lava lamp comes onin the corner of the room. MICHs room is sparselydecorated, a few posters on the cracked walls, a drum kitin one corner and a dirty mattress in the middle, complete

with two sleeping girls and an empty beer keg.

HAMMONDWe gotta get these chicks outtahere.

MICHI got it.

He flips the girls off of the mattress and then dumps it ontop of them, their legs and arms poking out fromunderneath. He dusts off his hands.

HAM crosses to the window.

HAMMONDWhys it so dark in here?

He draws the curtains -- a crude doodle of a window hasbeen drawn onto the bare brick wall behind them, complete

with clouds and a sun. HAM closes them again.

POW! POW! POW! The far wall is suddenly riddled with bulletholes.

HAMMOND (CONTD)What the hell?!

INT. BOSTONS ROOM - CONTD

WHAM! The door slams open, HAMMOND and MICH enter.

MICHBoston, what the fuck!?

BOSTON stands in the middle of his room, firing a pistol atthe wall.

BOSTONI heard voices in the wall!

HAMMONDThat was us! Moron!

BOSTONDont call me a moron!

BOSTON points the gun at them -- HAM slaps it out of hishand. It fires as it hits the floor, shooting the lock onBOSTONs wardrobe. The doors swing open and an avalanche ofswords, firearms and explosives pours out across the floor.

BOSTON (CONTD)Great, I just cleaned that up!

HAMMONDUh-huh, and what are you gonna doabout that?

He points the far end of the room where the front of aCadillac is jutting through a demolished wall. BOSTONdismisses it with a wave of his hand.

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD


6/15

BOSTONIts cool, Ill just cover itwith a throw.

He kneels down and daintily pulls open a bottom drawer --its full of neatly pressed floral sheets.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTD

MICH opens the bathroom door -- their path is blocked byboards and crime scene tape. Inside, a flickering bulbilluminates a chalk outline and a blood-stained showercurtain.

BOSTONDo we have to clean this room?

MICHNah, it was like this when wemoved in.

BOSTONScore.

MICH shuts the door. HAM pokes his head in from the living

room.

HAMMONDQuit dickin around in the murderroom! The landlordll be here infive minutes!

MICH and BOSTON split up.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTD

HAM pulls up the carpet, sweeps a pile of beer bottles andcar parts under it, then stamps on the lumps until theyreflat.


MICH, arms full of land mines, pulls down a section asection of the wall, revealing the bedroom of theneighbours son. He chucks the mines in. He replaces thewall, slotting it in backwards, the little boys dinosaurwallpaper intersecting the bare brickwork of the corridor.


BOSTON spots a hole in the living room wall. He quicklygrabs a framed photo of HAMMOND holding an eagle and coversit, inadvertently revealing an even bigger one where thepicture once was. Grabbing a poster to cover the new hole,he sxposes a series of tallies marked HOLES PUNCHED IN WALL- BOSTON: 19; HAM: 4; MICH: 8.

Spotting the marks, he grabs an arm chair and slides itagainst the wall -- uncovering a gaping pit in the floor.He looks around desperately for something to cover it.

Ding-dong! The doorbell rings. At a loss for what to doBOSTON throws himself on top of the hole and does his bestto look casual.

HAM answers the door. The LANDLORD, a weedy man in a cheapsuit, enters. He checks his clipboard and addresses HAM andMICH.

LANDLORDMr. Indiana, Mr. Detroit.

He looks down at BOSTON. BOSTON tries to look cool.

LANDLORD (CONTD)Mr. Massachusetts.

BOSTONSup.

The LANDLORD makes a note.

LANDLORDThis shouldnt take long.

INT. MICHS ROOM - CONTD

The LANDLORD opens MICHs door and peers within, the threeWolves stand sheepishly behind him. The LANDLORD makes somenotes on his clipboard.

LANDLORDBullet holes in the wall.Unauthorised occupants.

MICHHey, I told em to leave.

The LANDLORD shuts the door.

INT. BOSTONS ROOM - CONTD

The door opens. The LANDLORD surveys BOSTONs mess.

LANDLORDDamaged bed. Burnt carpet. Broken

wardrobe-

He eyes the barely concealed Cadillac.

LANDLORD (CONTD)Nice throw.

BOSTONThanks.

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD


7/15


The LANDLORD approaches a door marked HAMMONDS ROOM. Heopens it -- BOSTONs pile of weaponry pours out. TheLANDLORD makes a note.

LANDLORDHeap of illegal weaponry.

HAM slaps BOSTON around the head.

HAMMONDBoston! What the hell!?

BOSTONWhat? You broke my wardrobe!Where else was I sposed to putem?!


The LANDLORD crosses the room, scribbling further notes onhis clipboard. The Wolves follow.

LANDLORD

This house is in worse conditionthan Mr. Massachusetts ball sack.Floor filthy, walls all butdestroyed, you broke the doors,you broke the lights, you brokethe fixtures -- Im afraid I haveno choice but to evict you fromthis property immed-

He steps blindly into the pit in the floor, his clipboardflying out of his hands as he suddenly drops out of sight.

The three Wolves exchange a glance. HAM grabs the clipboardfrom beside his feet as MICH walks over to the sofa. HAMscribbles out the many crosses on the LANDLORDs form andreplaces them with ticks. He tosses the clipboard down thehole and MICH slides the sofa back over it.

The two of them sit down and BOSTON reappears with a sixpack and flops down beside them.

BOSTONThat went well.

MICHYeah, pretty well.

BOSTONIs my ballsack really that bad?

HAMMONDYeah.

MICHYeah, dude. Yes.

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD


8/15

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

A heap of mangled vehicles -- a truck, a hot rod and amotorcycle -- blocks the highway. The Wolves stand at theside of the road, looking sullenly at the wreckage. MICHturns to HAM.

MICHGood work, guy, how the hell doyou manage to flip a truck and

make it not cool.

BOSTONI thought it was pretty cool.

MICHShut up, man, it crushed my bike!

BOSTONHey, your son of a bitch biketotaled Desiree!

He gestures to his car, now crumpled against the weight ofthe truck and bike -- its wheel falls off.

HAMMONDIts your fault! Why were youshootin at my wheels anyway?!Now how are we gonna get to the

monster truck rally?

BOSTON lights a cigarette and storms off the down the road.

MICHWhere do you think youre goin?!

BOSTONBus.

MICHBuses are for suckers and women.

All I need is my thumbs and mywits.

He raises his thumb to hitch a ride pointing itdramatically toward the open road.

A tumbleweed rolls past.

HAMMONDGood luck with that.

HAM follows BOSTON.

EXT. BUS STOP - CONTD

BOSTON and HAM arrive at a battered bus stop sticking outof the ground beside the desolate road.

As HAMMOND inspects the timetable a coach screeches upbeside them. The doors open and BOSTON hops on. HAMMOND

turns.

HAMMONDWhat are you doin? That aintour bus.

BOSTONBullshit, they all go to the sameplace.

The doors shut. HAM catches sight of the sign on the sideas it drives away -- Sonny Hills Day Trips for the Infirm.

INT. CADILLAC - CONTD

MICH scowls as a long tongue laps at the side of his face.We pull out to reveal a large pig sat between MICH and the

driver, a scrawny man with manic eyes and a sun hat. Theback of the open top car is piled high with bric-a-brac,which flies out behind them as the car swerves wildly downthe highway.

DRIVERDont mind Kevin, he likes thetaste of human flesh.

MICH raises a hand to push the pig away.

DRIVER (CONTD)Dont touch him, damn you! He hasno self-control!

They hit a pothole -- Kevin is flipped onto MICHs lap,where he writhes and squeals uncontrollably.

DRIVER (CONTD)I said dont touch him!

A trotter slams MICH square in the chops.

INT. COACH - CONTD

BOSTON walks down the length of the coach, scanning theelderly passengers. He spots a free seat next to a blind

man and slumps down beside him.

BOSTONSweet shades.

SCRIPTS -- PUBLIC TRANSPORT


9/15

BLIND MANIm blind.

BOSTONYeah, Im pretty wasted too.


HAM stands in the baking sun, staring blankly down theroad.

He turns to the bench beside the bus stop -- a bleachedskeleton in a Monster Truck Rally 82 t-shirt flops againstthe back rest. HAM pulls it up by the forearm, checking thetime on its battered old wristwatch.

He sighs and squints up at the blazing desert sun. Wipingsweat from his brow, he grabs a piece of scrap metal fromthe broken timetable and folds it into a crude sun hat,slotting it onto his head.

INT. CAR - CONTD

MICH sits crammed into the backseat of a family sedan next

to a sad-looking six-year-old girl. Her parents sit in thefront seat bickering noisily.

As the row intensifies, MICH turns to the daughter.

MICHThey always like this?

She mumbles and nods.

MICH (CONTD)Want a smoke?

She nods again.

He puts two cigarettes in his mouth, lights them and thenhands one to the little girl.

INT. COACH - CONTD

The elderly passengers of the coach, smoosh their facesagainst the window with glee and the vehicle slows to astop.

The drivers voice comes in over the PA system.

DRIVERHere we are folks, the world-famous Museum of Teacups!

The old people whoop. BOSTONs jaw falls open.


HAMs head sizzles as his poorly designed steel hat reachesoven-like temperatures under the suns glare.

A small pack of vultures amble around him, pecking at hisfeet. He waves an arm lazily, mumbling to himself.

HAMMONDGet outta here ya...

CLOP! CLOP! A noise from beyond a nearby cactus patch grabsHAMMONDs attention. He pulls himself up, shufflingtowards the source of the sound. With sunburnt hands, heparts the cacti. A majestic black unicorn with a sword fora horn stands nobly in the clearing. It snorts and a plumeof flame erupts from its nose.

HAMMOND (CONTD)Brutal.

The unicorn turns to him and begins to speak.

UNICORNHammond Indiana, it is your

destiny... to see this monstertruck rally! Climb upon my back,let us witness this glorytogether.

HAMMOND approaches, hopping deftly onto his steed.

UNICORN (CONTD)Away!

It takes off at a tremendous speed. HAMMOND beams as theytear down the highway.

We cut back to reality -- HAMMOND hobbles madly down theroad, straddling a huge cactus.

HAMMOND

I always knew youd come back!

INT. AMBULANCE - CONTD

MICH sits in the front seat beside a cheery paramedic.Behind them, his partner works away at an off-screenpatient, blood spraying up at him.

PARAMEDIC PARTNERDoug, he wont stop bleeding!What shall I do?

PARAMEDIC DRIVERJust give him a minute, hell runout eventually.



10/15

He turns to MICH.

PARAMEDIC DRIVER (CONTD)So where did you say you wereheaded?

MICHMonster truck rally.

PARAMEDIC PARTNERMan, thats way cooler than thehospital! Lets go there!

PARAMEDIC DRIVERRoad trip!

They high-five. The operating paramedic leans in from theback of the ambulance.

PARAMEDIC PARTNERHey, Mich, can you wing me aheart from that cooler.

He shoots the driver a cheeky wink.

MICH opens a medical kit on the dashboard -- its full ofbeers.

PARAMEDIC DRIVERWHOOOOOO!

PARAMEDIC PARTNERWHOOOOOO!

MICH smiles and tosses bottles to the paramedics. Theyclink drinks and the DRIVER hits the siren.

EXT. STADIUM - CONTD

The ambulance skids off the road and slams into a tree.MICH and the paramedics tumble out the back.

MICH runs to the entrance, grabbing a nearby usher.

MICHIs it over?! Did we make it?!

USHERYou did not.

A strongman emerges from the stadium, spinning a burningtyre.

STRONGMANYou missed quite a show!

A bunch of truck fans file out behind him, clutchingvarious car parts and severed limbs. MICH watches,crestfallen as the bounty is carried past his face.

MICHDamn it!

He throws the usher aside and turns away.

HAMMOND appears, straddling the cactus and laughing.

HAMMONDWe made it, buddy! We made it!

MICHHam, what the hell?!

The PARAMEDIC pops up, syringe in hand.

PARAMEDICI got it.

He jams it in HAMs neck. HAM snaps out of it -- he looksdown at the cactus between his legs and then up at MICH.

HAMMONDDid we miss it?

MICHYep.

HAMMONDFuckin unicorn.

MICH looks up as BOSTON arrives, a teacup-shaped hat uponhis head.

MICHWe missed it, Bos.

BOSTON scoffs.

BOSTONPft, monster trucks? I gotsomethin thatll make you forget

all about monster trucks.

INT. TEACUP MUSEUM - CONTD

MICH, HAMMOND and BOSTON -- all dressed in teacupmerchandise -- stare ecstatically at a display of 18thcentury cups and saucers.

HAMMONDMan, Boston, you werent kidding.

MICHYeah its like... You know what

we dont use enough?



11/15

EXT. PRISON - EVENING

MICH stands nervously in front of the towering prisongates, a bow tie round his neck and a bunch of flowers inone hand.

The gates swing open. PHOENIX ARIZONA, a sexy broad in aknotted convict shirt and an eye patch, emerges from

within, her heavy boots thudding against the ground as shestrolls confidently towards MICH. A heavily armed GUARD

walks behind her, stopping at the edge of the prisongrounds.

GUARDYou stay outta trouble now,Phoenix.

ARIZONA turns towards him and grabs her crotch.

ARIZONAI got your trouble right here!

The gates creak shut as she approaches MICH.

MICH

Hey Arizona! Hi! You look nice!

ARIZONAYou look like shit on balls.Wheres your bike?

MICHIts right over here, Arizona!

He gestures to his motorcycle parked nearby.

MICH (CONTD)I got us a table at yourfavourite dive bar, its-

VRRRRMMM! ARIZONA takes off on MICHs bike, tearing downthe highway. MICH looks on.

MICH (CONTD)(whispered)

I fuckin love her.

EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD

Heavy metal blares from within the bar. A flashing neonsign reads GIRLS! STEAKS! BEER!

HAMMOND stands outside dressed in a black waistcoat,complete with a carnation in the lapel, a box of chocolatesunder his arm.

ARIZONA cruises in on MICHs bike. She hops off near HAM,leaving the still-running bike to plow straight into abarflys pickup truck.

HAMMONDArizona, its wonderful to seeyou again!

She approaches the door.

HAMMOND (CONTD)Lemme get that for you.

He reaches to open the door for her -- she gets therefirst, slamming it hard into his face. He staggers back,bumping into the owner of the smashed pickup.

PICKUP GUYYour bike trashed my truck!

HAMMONDThat aint my-

WHAM! The man socks him square in the jaw. HAM snaps -- hecharges at the barfly, ramming him face-first into the

remains of his truck. The man disengages his head from thetrucks door and dives at HAM.

INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD

ARIZONA crosses the room. Huge men in wife-beaters anddirty denim swill bottles of beer as they leer at a coupleof sorry looking strippers. ARIZONA snatches a beer fromone of them as she passes, downs it and slaps it into thehand of a weedy patron. The owner of the beer turns,looking for the culprit and plows a fist into theunsuspecting drunks face.

ARIZONA flops down in a booth opposite BOSTON -- she frownstaking in the baby-blue velour tux that hes opted to wear.

BOSTON

Hey Arizona! You look great! Howwas your vacation!

ARIZONAI was in the pen you dumbass.

BOSTONOo-la-la! Is that near France?

ARIZONA snaps her fingers -- a waitress arrives.

ARIZONATwo steaks. Rare, like a good

man. Am I right?

SCRIPTS -- CHICK


12/15

She laughs. The waitress giggles. ARIZONA stops dead andfixes the waitress with a steely glare. The waitress backsaway.

The door swings open -- HAMMOND enters, shirt ripped, facebloodied. He approaches the booth and catches sight ofBOSTON. They exchange a stern stare.

ARIZONA (CONTD)Whats the matter chief, aintyou been on a double date before?

HAM pulls a knife out of his side and drops it on thetable.

HAMMONDNormally that means two chicks-

ARIZONAThats why I invited you. Sitdown.

HAM sighs and slides into the booth next to BOSTON.

BOSTON smirks. HAM turns to him.

HAMMONDYou look like Liberaces jizzsock.

The waitress returns with two huge, bloody steaks anddeposits them on the table.

ARIZONA grabs BOSTONs plate and flips his steak on top ofhers. She picks up the double-stacked steak and proceeds todevour it like a sandwich.

HAMMOND (CONTD)What a woman.

The door opens again and MICH trudges in, tracking mud andmissing one of his shoes. He pulls a snake out of his hairand tosses it aside -- it flies through the air and hits astripper in the face.

He approaches the booth, sour-faced.

MICHWhich of you nutsacks totaled mybike?

ARIZONAI did.

MICH beams.

MICHAwesome job! High five!

He raises a hand. ARIZONA ignores it, picking her teethwith the knife that was recently removed from HAMs guts.She chucks the knife and pulls herself up.

ARIZONAIm gonna go take a piss.

She heads out the front door. The Wolves watch her leave.

MICHSo are you guys gonna fuck offnow? I dont like performin withan audience.

HAMMONDMe fuck off? Weve had this dateplanned for weeks. You clownsbetter back off if you wanna keepyour teeth.

BOSTONHey, if anyone should fuck off

its you guys. You know how muchit cost to rent this sweet tux?

MICHOh yeah, that was money wellspent. That suits almost as shitas Hams mullet.

HAMMONDHey, at least we arent dumbenough to get our rides jackedup.

MICHPft, as if shed wanna take yourlame-ass rides.

BOSTON pulls himself up.

BOSTONYou know what guys? Im justgonna go ask her! Im gonnastraighten this whole thing out.

He heads for the door.

EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD

ARIZONA crosses the road to a liquor store, pulls on abalaclava and draws a pistol. She disappears into thestore, BOSTON exits the bar and rounds the corner.

SCRIPTS -- CHICK


13/15

Stopping in a private spot, BOSTON makes a crude puppetwith his fist and thumb, produces a lipstick from hispocket and applies it generously to its mouth. He raiseshis hand to his face, pressing the lipstick against hischeeks to leave several unconvincing kiss marks.

BOSTONHe he he. This oughta show em-

TAP TAP TAP. BOSTON stops.

As he slowly turns to look behind him, he realises thathes inadvertently positioned himself directly in front ofthe window by the Wolves booth. MICH and HAM look blanklyat him through the glass.

BOSTON drops the lipstick, runs to his car and tears offdown the road.

INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD

MICH and HAM watch BOSTONs car vanish over the horizon.

MICHWhat a moron.

HAMMONDYeah, the things some fools willdo for a dame.

WHAM! ARIZONA kicks the door open, a bag of money and a gunin her hands. Sirens blare from outside the bar. She runsover to the booth.

ARIZONAHey, Mich, baby, will you holdthis for me?

She tosses the gun into his lap.

MICHSure! Sure I will!

HAMMONDWhat, nothin for me?

ARIZONAHere!

She chucks him a bloody baseball bat -- a severed handstill clinging on to it. HAM grins.

She runs out the back door. They watch her go, smiling.

MICHMan, Bostons gonna be sojealous.

The front door slams open again. A horde of police menstorm the bar.

COPFreeze! Drop the weapon!

WHAM! The police bear down on the Wolves, pinning theWolves to the floor. They cling to ARIZONAs gifts.

HAMMONDYeah what a sucker.

ZZZZZTT! A cop jams a tazer into HAMs back.

SCRIPTS -- CHICK


14/15

FUTURE EPISODE IDEAS

MAILMANConvinced that the the mailman is against him after

his package is repeatedly delayed, Boston steals hissack of letters and is left with the responsibility of

delivering them all himself.

PINK

After washing a red shirt with their whites, theWolves are left with nothing but embarrassingly pink

clothing. Deciding to go topless rather than bare the

humiliation, the Wolves are refused entry to all their

favourite haunts.

MOVIE NIGHTDisappointed with their choice of lm at the cinema,the Wolves attempt to sneak into the other screens

to get their moneys worth.


15/15

EXPERIENCEWRITTEN BY

TOM GRAN & MARTIN WOOLLEY

DIRECTOR

TOM GRAN

PRODUCTION COMPANYWONKY FILMS

8a Willway Street

Bristol BS34BG

tel: 01179537740

email: [email protected]

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