FRIENDS WITH FALLACIESMikee: *crying*

Jela: Hey girrl, wassup?

Gina: Oh my gosh! Are you crying? Oh my! Wipe yourself! *hands over handkerchief*

Jela: Care to tell us what happened?

Mikee: Reiven…he…he…cheated on me with another girl! I saw him with her at the mall today! I can’t believe it. I gave him everything he wants. I loved him with all that I am! How could he do this to me?! HOW?!

Jela: And here I thought somebody died.

Gina: Brush it off, mikee! I’m sure you’ll find another guy. Hmmm, how about Riguel? I heard he’s a pretty nice guy.

Mikee: Tsss, forget it! Every guy’s the same. They’ll court you like a puppy desperate for attention and when they find another girl, they’ll drop like a hot burritto, just like that. *cries*

Jela: Come on, that’s so like dicto simpliciter. You can’t hate all men just because one guy cheated on you. Right? *looks at Gina*

Gina: What? What can I say? My ex-boyfriend was a jerk. I therefore conclude all men are jerks.

Jela: Gina, I think you are committing a hasty generalization. And besides, it’s a given you’re unlucky with guys. You sprayed that “no-forever” cologne when we were freshmen, remember? I can’t help but laugh on how you sprayed it to yourself despite the fact it is water from the lake.

*flashback*

Jela: You really shouldn’t spray that. Don’t believe what Mikee says. That girl is evil! She doesn’t want you to experience true love that’s why she’s pushing to spray that!

Mikee: Look, Jela. Stop poisoning the well. I’m just saying that, that spray is not true. I’ve tried it before and look how I’m going steady with Reiven. And besides, I’ve already promised Gina that if she sprayed that to herself, I’ll give her a thousand pesos.

Gina: It’s fine. I’ll just spray it anyways. I really need the money. I haven’t bought our book in Auditing. And my dad doesn’t want to give me money after he found out what I did to my tuition fee. I’m really broke right now.

Jela: I see how you are appealing to pity. Fine, suit yourself.

*Gina sprays and it smells awful, everybody caughs*

Gina: Ewwwwww!

*end of flashback*

Gina: Post hoc! That’s very irrelevant! Besides, it’s not true. God, how old are you, believing in those kind of cheesy stuff?

Jela: Hmph!

Mikee: How could he do this to me?! If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have gotten that scholarship! If it weren’t for MY money, he won’t be wearing that branded shirt! And most of all, if it weren’t for me, no one would even notice him, that lotion-loving person!

Gina: Calm down, you know that’s all hypothesis contrary to fact. But let me ask you a question, mikee. If an object is all black and all white at the same time, what color is it?

Mikee: Wha…I don’t know! It’s not the right time for your arguments with contradictory premises! Come on, I’m feeling very horrible right now.

Gina: Precisely, you don’t know anything! I think you should stick to studying for now. Love can wait. Right, Jela?

Jela: I agree.

Mikee: But, I can’t go on without a boyfriend! I need to be loved, protected. I need someone to check on me once in a while, someone to wait for me after school, somebody to buy me pizza and ice cream when I get hungry. I’ll probably starve to death without a boyfriend.

Jela: Aside from the fact that I think your being fallacious because you just said an argument of Ad misericordiam, I also think you’re missing the point of the whole boyfriend thing. Don’t you have food at home? Mygosh!

Gina: You, my friend, are like a nail. Just as nails must be hit in the head in order to make them think and work, so must you be as well. Can I hit you now?

Jela: That’s false analogy! Stop it, Gina!

Gina: If she didn’t accept the pan de coco given to her by Reiven, then this wouldn’t happen!

*flashback*

*Mikee and Jela walking, sees Reiven*

Jela: Oh my gosh, I think he’s here for you! Isn’t that cute?

Mikee: Pssh, so what? I don’t like him. It’s no doubt he is a playboy. Every boy from his block is known for switching girlfriends every week.

Jela: Oh stop with the generalization! Oh my, is that…he’s brought you your favorite pan de coco!

Mikee: As if I’d fall for that!

Reiven: Hi mikee!

Mikee: Hi.

Reiven: Uhmmm…I’ve brought you favorite, pan de coco, because my love for you is like a pan de coco. It’s circle, which means, it’s never-ending.

Jela: I think that’s like…a false analogy?

Mikee: No! It’s actually very romantic.

Reiven: So, will you be my girlfriend?

Mikee: Sure.

Jela: Whaaat? Wait, let me talk to you

*talks to Mikee in the corner*

Jela: What were you thinking? You can’t be his girlfriend that fast!

Mikee: What? You pushed me to him! I said yes!

Jela: But you can’t when it’s because of a pan de coco!

Mikee: I can because it is pan de coco! I’m very hungry you know, and he felt that. Our stomachs must be feeling each other. We are meant to be!

Jela: You know what, your logic freaks me out sometimes.

*end of flashback*

Mikee: Be careful what you say. That’s clearly a hypothesis contrary to fact! It’s not the pan de coco’s fault! *cries*

Jela: You guys, stop. Reiven cheated because he is a narcissistic and selfish psycho. If he want to talk to you, don’t. He’ll just want to defend his ego. His pride can’t afford being dumped. You should just forget him.

Gina: Hey guys~ I don’t think we should be poisoning the well. Reiven just posted a photo on Instagram. Is this the girl? *shows mikee the phone*

Mikee: Yes! That…!

Gina & Jela: Just got home from SM. I missed you very much, cuz! #cousins *looks accusingly at mikee* MIKEEEE~