w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 825-5694 or e-mail:labean@sasktel.net

March 23, 2015

For weeks a six-year-old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or

sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The

six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped

telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and

said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were

expecting at home?”

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think

Mommy ate it!”

An Evening of Improv with Colin Mochrie & Debra McGrath was originally scheduled for December 12 but Colin and Debra were snowed in at the Toronto airport and unable to make it to Lloydminster. The event was rescheduled for April 7 at 7:30pm at Vic Juba Community Theatre.

Colin Mochrie is an alumnus of Toronto’s famous Second City comedy troupe and is widely considered to be one of the leading improvisers in the world. In 2013, Colin Mochrie was named Canadian Comedy Person of the Year at the Canadian Comedy Awards. After nine years as a regular on the British impro-visation series Whose Line is it Anyway?, he became a regular on the American version hosted by Drew Carey, which ran for six years on ABC and three years on ABC Family. Colin appears regularly in film and television and was notably a cast member of CBC’s classic news spoof This Hour Has 22 Minutes for two seasons. With his wife, Debra McGrath, he produced, wrote and starred in the CBC show Getting Along Famously.

Deb McGrath, a graduate from Ryerson Theatre, honed her comedy skills at the famed Second City in Toronto where she met her husband Colin Mochrie. They moved to L.A. when she co-created a show called My Talk Show. Since then, Deb has done a myriad of TV, film, animation and ads. Her work of late has included, Little Mosque on the Prairie where she plays the Mayor, Single White Spenny, the voice of Winners, The Ron James Show. Deb created, co-wrote, produced and starred in CBC’s Getting Along Famously with her husband Colin. Together they have also played a husband and wife in Love Letters and Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town for CBC, and Living in my Car.

Tickets are $69. For tickets, contact the Box Office at 780-872-7400, Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:30 pm, or order your tickets online at vicjubatheatre.ca.

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Top Ten Signs Your Company Is Trying To Save Money

x New-employee training has been replaced by Dilbert cartoons.

x Business travel now consists of a big box, bubble wrap and a trip to FED EX.

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x Changed company name to “Place your ad here”.

x The new office health program? Shutting down the elevator.

x Your yearly bonus check bounced.

x The CEO trades in his 150 foot private jet for a 149 foot private jet.

x Cafeteria lunch now costs $83.50.

x Two words: bunk cubicles.

Baby Bean23.03.15

Wednesday

Mar. 19

February at The Village Pregnancy to Parenting

4702 56th Ave LloydminsterPrograms and groups

The MotherHood: Wed. 4th & 18thBirth Cafe: Thurs. 12th & 26thNursing Moms: Wed. 11th & Saturday TBANEW!! The MotherHood after DarkWednesday 24th 7pmFoodVille: Saturday TBAHealing Mama’s: Wed. 18th

Check out our website for more resources and information

www.thevillagepregnancytoparenting.com

Across1. preemie2.amniotic5. prolactin7. breech8. second9. lying down10. ketosis14. antibodies15. endorphins16. meconium

17. doula18. three19. sixDown1. placenta3. carbohydrates4. movement6. massage11. oxytocin12. baby blues13.delivered

CollectivAnd Street March 31, 6 pm StreeTickets: $2LloydminstCall Streets 

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THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING CHILDBIRTH

-- Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.

-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?

-- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.

-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.

-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?

-- This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.

-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You’re not using the right words.

-- Your stomach still looks like there’s another one in there.

TI CKE T S: 7 8 0 . 8 7 2. 7 4 0 0

BARRA MACNEILS(CANADA’S CELTIC AMBASSADORS!)

FRI APR 10TH 7:30 P.M.—VIC JUBA COMMUNITY THEATRETICKETS ONLINE: VICJUBATHEATRE.CA $48 (STUDENTS $5)

Lloydminster Concert Series Associationwww.lloydconcert.ca

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For Fast Relief ”.

5744 - 44 St Lloydminster780-875-0110 or 780-872-9677

Comedy Show March 26 7:30PM Tickets $20

www.bordercityfurniture.com

    

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SOME GUY BOUGHT A NEW FRIDGE FOR HIS HOUSE. TO GET RID OF HIS

OLD FRIDGE, HE PUT IT IN HIS FRONT YARD AND HUNG A SIGN ON IT SAYING: “FREE TO GOOD HOME. YOU WANT IT, YOU TAKE IT.” FOR THREE DAYS THE FRIDGE SAT THERE WITHOUT EVEN ONE PERSON LOOKING TWICE AT IT.

HE EVENTUALLY DECIDED THAT PEO-PLE WERE TOO UN-TRUSTING OF THIS

DEAL. IT LOOKED TO GOOD TO BE TRUE, SO HE CHANGED THE SIGN TO READ: “FRIDGE FOR SALE $50.” THE

NEXT DAY SOMEONE STOLE IT.

One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young

people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us. “Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving,”

I thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand

to one of my friends and said, “Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade.”

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the

trashcan under the table, and notice that the trashcan is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching

for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody

will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm bottle of coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the remote, I

can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll

read The Bean.

5405 44 StreetWayside Plaza

A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to

bed and settled down to watch football.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending

him back to bed.

At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young

man brusquely replied, “No.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, Mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

First Responder to Sexual Assault and Abuse Training™   This  two‐day  training  educates  participants  on  how  to  effectively  respond  to  disclosures  of sexual abuse and assault from children, youth and adults. The Lloydminster Sexual Assault and Information Centre has been a license holder of this training for approximately four years with experience facilitating workshops for a variety of participant groups including but not limited to nurses, guidance counselors, teachers, front line workers, victim services, and college students.   Participants will  have  the  opportunity  to  explore  their  own  values  and  beliefs  surrounding sexual violence, to gain a deeper understanding of the indicators and impacts of abuse, and to recognize the prevalence of myths in our society.   The fee is $200 per participant and includes manuals and lunch for both days. A minimum of 15 participants is required with a maximum of 24 in total.     

  

              

To register, please contact Heather Sinfield at 306‐825‐8255 or heather.lsaic@sasktel.net .  

Check out our website www.lsaic.com , on Facebook and Twitter!  

 Topics Covered:   

1. Communication & Responding Skills 

2. Child Sexual Abuse 3. Adults Abused as Children 4. Sexual Harassment 5. Adult Sexual Assault 6. Rethinking Prevention 

Training Details  

May 5‐6, 2015  

8:30am to 5:00pm  

Midwest Family Connections Education Room 4910‐50th Street Lloydminster, SK  

 

Old “Fogey- isms”

1. The old fellow crawling along ahead of you thinks his old Nash Rambler is pretty snazzy. You think he is an old fuddy duddy. How would you characterize a “fud-dy-duddy”?a) Heartless and unfeelingb) Opinionated and inflexiblec) Dimwitted and biddabled) Old fashioned and resistant to change2. You can’t “keep your shirt on” and have a “hollow leg”. What is your problem?a) Immodesty and stinginessb) Impatience and a voracious appetitec) Mental slowness and clumsinessd)Scruffiness and petty thievery

3. An old fogey exclaims, “Hotdog!” What could she or he mean?a) Either “Wow” or “What a show off ” depending on contextb) Always “What a show off ” never “wow”c) Always “Wow” never “what a show off ”d) Neither “Wow!” nor “what a show off ”4. Are these questions making you a titch discombobulated? If you were “just a titch discombobulated”, what would you be feeling?a) Confused, but just a smidgeonb) Tickled pinkc) Very angryd) Mildly euphoric

1. d, 2. b, 3. a, 4. a

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w This is the first generation of kids the CDC predicts will live a shorter lifespan than their parents.w One in three US Caucasian kids born after 2000 is likely to develop diabetes. If the child is African American or Hispanic, the risk is almost 50%…unless we change our health habits.w Today in the North America, one out of fifteen kids under three years old has a food allergy.w In 2003, over $1.3 TRILLION was spent on chronic diseases in the US alone. (the majority of which are diet/lifestyle-induced)…w “If the rate of obesity and overweight continues…by 2015…nearly 24 percent of U.S. children and adolescents will be overweight or obese.” According to Youfa Wang, MD, PhD.w Heart problems can begin in childhood (as autopsies conducted on children who died in accidents have revealed).w Studies now confirm that what children consume in the first ten years of life (including in utero) is more important in staving off cancer, diabetes, etc., than what or how they eat later in life.

Michelle HamiltonREGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST

Professional Counselling Services, EMDR

780.808.1593www.beyond-balance.com

michelle@beyond-balance.com

 

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Lloydminster Community Youth Centre is a drop-in centre with plenty to offer to the teens in Lloydminster. Our goal is to provide a safe and fun environment to every youth who walks in our doors. Our current address is 4709 49th Ave. and our entrance is located at the back of the Anglican Church, right across the street from May Cinema. We are currently open four nights a week to youth ages 12-18. Youth Centre HoursWednesdays 3-9 (2-9 on early dismissal days) *Rides home at 7-7:30pm*Thursdays 3-9 *Rides home at 7-7:30pmFridays 3-11 *Rides home at 9-9:30pm*Saturdays 7-11 *Rides home at 9-9:30pm*

Spring is in the air at LCYC and the warmer weather is breathing new energy into the Centre! We have recently formed a Youth Council to assist with program planning and allow our youth to influence what happens around LCYC. One of the first big youth initiatives of the year is a fundraiser for the youth, by the youth – a 24 Hour Wake-a-thon! Starting Friday, April 10, 8:00 AM and lasting until Saturday, April 11, 8:00 AM, our youth will be staying awake for 24 hours and having a great time doing it. The Wake-a-thon will start with a coach bus to West Edmonton Mall where youth may pick a pass to the Water Park or Galaxy Land and do some shopping, if they wish. Friday evening, youth and staff will return to LCYC and spend the night playing games and doing activities. All youth who wish to participate must raise a minimum of $75, but there will be prizes for the top three fundraisers. We hope this will be the first of many exciting trips for our youth.

March is full of many fun activities! We started the month with a bake-off, a live action game of Clue, a talent show and park night games to take advantage of the nice weather. We have also started an excellent program called Empow-erment for Girls in partnership with the Interval Home. This program will run for eight weeks and is a fun way for girls to develop a strong sense of self and learn important life skills. We recently received some “new to us” Guitar Hero equipment, dodge balls and other things to use on gym nights as well. For a full list of program dates and times, please visit our website: www.lcyc.cc

All of the programs and activities offered through the Lloydminster Community Youth Centre are at no cost to the youth! We have a large selection of Xbox 360 and Wii games, as well as computers, pool tables, musical instruments, concession, free hot meals (Wednesday-Friday), a gymnasium (Friday and Saturday evenings), and much more!

The Lloydminster Community Youth Centre offers after school rides to the Centre from the middle schools and high schools. We also offer rides home one hour before closing to any youth who require a ride home. For more information about the after school rides and rides home, feel free to give us a call at the Youth Centre.

If you would like more information about the Centre, or are thinking about becoming a volunteer, feel free to contact us:

Phone (306) 825-3113Email lloydyouthcentre@gmail.comWebsite www.lcyc.ccFacebook www.facebook.com/lloydyouthcenter Instagram: LloydYouthCentre (LCYC)