Attitude Check Thoughts Become Things The Blame Game Loving You Pay it Forward Accomplishments Find Your Balance Gratitude Optical Illusions

ATTITUDES ARE CONTAGIOUS

Believe it or not, you can choose your path by choosing your attitude!

Everyday, when you open your eyes, you have the opportunity to create whatever day you desire. Rise with a grateful heart, a smile because you are alive and with the belief that today you WILL make your

life even better than the day before!

When you choose happiness, goals and forward thinking it is very difficult for anyone or anything to derail you. Always look at life with the attitude of

what will I create today.

You cannot have thoughts like, 'I wonder what the day has in store for me'. At that point anything that

happens will become your excuse and you can pretend like you had no control.

Remember, you may not be able to control the occurrences that happen but you can choose what your reactions will be and what you choose to learn

from each incident. ;)

Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?~Wanda Harris

Attitude Check | Chapter 1

“Your attitude is your window in which you see the world”~Jeff Keller

The first thing you want to do is check your attitude…Are you a Positive Person or a Negative Nelly? You want to come to this conclusion by thinking about what the people around you say. Do they say you are positive or negative? We are the worst judges of ourselves so this is a great way to find out.

Take Sally for instance, she is the realist in her group of friends and always comes into a situation with the attitude that, “this could go wrong because of…” Although that is a good trait to have “when needed” it is actually considered negative. When someone is excited about something or they are going to do something new, Sally seems to be the one that is raining on the

parades of the people around her. We want the people in our life to be happy for the things we are excited about, not tell us everything that could go wrong.

If you are like Sally, think about the positive in the situation, no matter how hard it is and STOP yourself from saying anything negative about what others are excited about. You will notice that you will start to see more good in situations and you will feel better as well.

Did you know that the definition for a positive attitude and the definition for a negative attitude are exactly the same? “The way you dedicate yourself to the way you think”. When you dedicate yourself to thinking positive and master having control over your attitude, you have mastered your life.

“It’s your thoughts behind the words you speak that create your

attitude”

~Jeffrey Gitomer

Chapter Highlights

Assess your attitude; are you a negative Nelly or a positive person?

Being a realist can make you a negative person.

The definition of negative and positive attitude is the same thing.

Call to Action: Write down all the positive things going on in your life right now

Thoughts Become Things | Chapter 2

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?”

~Robert H. Schuller

Have you ever read the book or watched the movie, “The Secret”? It’s all about the law of attraction. What you think about becomes your reality. Your thoughts should be ones that are serving you and taking you down the path you want to go in life.

Are you doing what you want to do and living the life you love? If you answered anything except yes, I suggest that you start with your thoughts and what you are focusing on most of the time. Thoughts are the most powerful thing you have to work with to create the life you love.

A great way to get control over your negative thoughts is to wear a rubber band on your wrist. When you start to think or say something negative, you snap your wrist with the rubber band and say out loud “Thank you for sharing”. This will channel your thought process and stop you from continuing to the end of that negative thought. It’s a tactic that may seem a little weird, but it works!

Another way to channel negativity is when you are starting to say something negative in a conversation, stop yourself in mid sentence and say “Check”, then “thank you for sharing”. This will interrupt your thought pattern and train your brain to think positive.

I understand that you may not be the negative one in your life and it very well could be the people around you. There’s not a lot you can do about other people and the way they choose to be. However

you can decide whether or not you want to be around them and limit your time with them.

You deserve to be surrounded by positive energy and you are in control of protecting that positive energy. Here’s a great way that I learned from my friend Jackie.

Jackie decided one day she was fed up with all the people in her life and how negative they were being any time she talked to them. She made the decision that she wasn’t going to allow negativity around her anymore. Her family, friends and loved ones had 2 choices…

They could only call her when they had something positive to say. She let them know that if they did call and were being negative, she would hang up on them. This way they would know why she hung p on them.

It’s also your job to protect your emotions. No one is going to do that for you and no matter how much you love the people in your life they are going to have to respect the fact that you only want positive people around you or they aren’t going to be an active part of your life anymore. At first this may be hard for everyone to get used to, but before you know it, the people in your life will either start being more positive or gracefully keep their distance which will make room for new people.

“You become what you think about,

all day long.”

~Earl Nightingale

Chapter Highlights

Let the people in your life know that you aren’t going to accept negativity around you.

Remove yourself from situations or conversations when people are being negative.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist and flick yourself when you think a negative thought.

Say “thank you for sharing” to stop yourself in mid negative thought.

Call to Action: Buy and read “The Secret by Rhonda Byrne”

The Blame Game | Chapter 3

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

~Jim Rohn

We would all like to pin the reason why, on someone else. It doesn’t matter what the negative thing is, we’d rather it be someone else’s fault so that way we don’t have to take responsibility for our own actions.

You may be thinking “Alishia, it’s their fault for…” I’m not saying they don’t play a part in the outcome, what I am saying is that you played a part in the outcome as well. One of the best things you can do is look within, not at others. When something isn’t going the way you want it to or you find yourself in a disagreement, you want to look at yourself and how you handled the situation. What could you have done different? You can

apply this with everyone in your life. You are the common denominator, you have the power to change the outcome to whatever you want it to be by changing yourself first.

A lot of the time people say “Alishia, why do I have to be the one to change?” In return I ask, “Do you want to be happy? Do you want to get back to the person that you love? Do you want to love yourself and who you are?” If you answered yes to any of those, look within you at the things that make you happy. A great way to do this is to write out a list of all the things that make you happy. I am a firm believer in lists, they stimulate brain function and when the list is positive it will elicit more positive thoughts.

Right now there may be nothing that you can think of that makes you happy. This is a great time to think about the past. When you were happy, what were you doing?

Then go to work in making them a regular part of your life. Save this list to refer back to if you start feeling down again.

If you are unbalanced and feeling lost within yourself, you will notice that you aren’t doing MOST of the things on your list. Once you start doing them, it will be almost immediate that you start to feel better. The more you do those items on your list, the better you’ll feel.

Focusing on doing things more often that make you happy is a vital part of being happy, growing as a person and letting other people deal with their own issues. When you are blaming someone, you are bringing their problems on as yours. Learn to bless them, release their problem and focus on you, that’s when you will start to “Live The Life You Love”.

“A happy person is not a person with certain set

of circumstances, but rather a person with a

certain set of attitudes”

~Hugh Downs

Chapter Highlights

Look within yourself to see how you handled the situation.

Think of ways you could’ve been different and handled things better.

To find balance within yourself you want to figure out what makes you happy.

Let others deal with their own issues.

Call to Action: Write a list of all the things that make you happy, implement them into your life and schedule.

Loving You | Chapter 4

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

~Buddha

Learning to love you is the #1 thing you will do to master “Living The Life You Love”. Most people spend their life doing whatever they can to make everyone else happy. One day they look around and they don’t even know who they are anymore. That’s when you take an assessment of the people in your life and start asking yourself what they are doing that’s making you unhappy.

Something that used to drive me crazy about my step dad was, anytime you said, “will you make me a sandwich”, he would say, “poof you’re a sandwich”. Or whatever it was you were asking him to make you. There’s something to be learned by that. When he said “poof” you

didn’t change into anything. So why when you are upset do you say, “You upset me” or “you make me mad”? That’s the same as saying “poof, you’re mad”. It doesn’t work like that; you have the choice to be any way you want.

Don’t give other people the power over your emotions, because you will end up stressed and frustrated. To take back control of that power, tell yourself that you control your life and you are going to create the life you love. Yes, this does include your spouse and children. They don’t need to have the kind of power over you where are out of control of yourself and your emotions. Your emotions control your actions, your physical well being, your behavior and your thinking. Here are some ways you can take back control of your emotions.

Feel your feelings, they are real; you need to recognize them and why you are feeling them.

When something is bothering you, don’t hide your feelings, let it be known, say your peace and then move on. Stay Present: Don’t turn to a substance or eating in order to help you deal with it. Exercise: This will help relieve some of the negative energy you have and give you time away for yourself to calm down.Take time to feel your feelings; I have a friend that sets time aside every week to cry.

Give yourself a set amount of time to go over it, to think it through and then come up with a plan to work through it or move on.

Have fun: Take the time to enjoy the finer things in life and let loose like you did when you were a kid.

Get serious when needed: Some things are worth fighting for.

This is a great list to type up, laminate and hang, wherever you will see and read it every day. This will help you stay present in your life and head down the path you want.

Be careful that you aren’t devaluing yourself to your partner & your children. Do you find that you are always putting what you want or need last so that everyone else in your house can get what they want or need? This teaches everyone in your house to devalue you, especially your children. Take the story of Cindy for example.

Cindy heads to the store with her two kids in tow. She needs new underwear, a bra and socks, but her kids and husband need socks and underwear too. By time she gets through the store, fighting off the children asking for

everything under the sun, gets the stuff for them and her husband, she realizes that she can wait a couple more weeks before getting her stuff. This is a vicious cycle and takes months before she gets what she needs. Her children watch her do this their whole lives, even after they are grown and have moved out.This situation doesn’t seem too bad, right? I mean Cindy will eventually get the stuff she needs and putting your family first, is what mothers do, right? WRONG! You are teaching your children and partner to devalue you and your needs. If you are doing this with material things, the chances are you doing it with your feelings and emotional needs as well.

When you get old and are no longer able to take care of yourself, your children pick your nursing home for you. Do you want them picking the cheapest one because “that’s what mom would’ve done”? Or do you want them picking the “best” one for you because they know that’s what you would’ve wanted?

Don’t get me wrong and think I am saying that you need to neglect your children and family. I am also not saying that they have to pick the most expensive nursing home. What I want you to take from this is that “YOU” are the MOST important person in the world! When you take care of your physical, material and emotional needs, you are showing your children and significant other that you are important too.

“The more you value yourself, the more others will

value you”

~Alishia Willardson

Chapter Highlights

Look within yourself to make yourself happy.

No one can make you anything, you choose to feel the feelings you feel.

You are the most important person in the world.

Don’t give other people power over your emotions.

Value yourself and others will value you.

Call to Action: Make a list of everything that makes you happy and then start doing them.

Pay it Forward | Chapter 5

“Learn, earn return—these are the three phases of life”

~Jack Balousrk

What do you do in your life right now to give back? Most people don’t give or give back at all because they are always thinking with the “not enough” mentality. “We don’t even have enough money for ourselves; I am not giving the Salvation Army any money”. When you are thinking with the “not enough” mentality, you will continually attract not having enough into your life.

Change your thoughts to abundance, no matter where you are in your life, what you’re going through or how bad you have it. Pay whatever good you have forward. You will attract abundance and having more to you.

Paying it forward could be in the form of money, a service or your knowledge. It doesn’t matter what it is, no good deed goes un-noticed. Doing things that add value to others lives also lifts their spirits and will lift you up as well. Every action has a reaction whether it’s positive or negative, the more positive actions you have, the more positive reactions come back to you. You are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny.

Be the light for someone else by believing in them, listening to them and helping them out when you see them in need. The difference it makes in your own life, inside yourself and the greatness it brings out in your children is amazing!

There are a lot of opinions on people who are on welfare, homeless people etc. The beautiful thing about “Pay it Forward” is that you can pick who you want to help. Think of it as random acts of kindness.

Set a goal each week with how many acts of kindness you want to do and then do your best to top it the next week.

Teach your kids to give when they don’t feel like giving, to smile when they don’t feel like smiling, to love when they feel like they don’t like someone and they will teach people around them to do the same.

This is also a great thing for you do to do with yourself. When you don’t feel like doing something is the “best” time for you to do it because that’s the shift of focus your mind needs at that exact time. When your children see you paying it forward, they will want to do the same. They are like sponges and soak up what they see us doing and apply it in their own life, whether it’s negative or positive. If you don’t have kids, you will instilling this amazing concept in your friends and family.

Have you ever seen the movie “Pay it Forward”, with Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt? Here’s the movie synopsis just in case…

Teacher Kevin Spacey's assignment was to "think of an idea that could change the world" which spurs seventh-grader Hayley Joel Osment to launch a campaign where people reciprocate random acts of charity with three good deeds of their own. As his "Pay It Forward" plan sweeps the nation, Osment plays matchmaker between his mom, divorced waitress Helen Hunt, and the scarred Spacey.

There are now lesson plans in schools based off this movie. These lesson plans include them watching clips of the movie and they even have a “Pay it Forward” day. This is HUGE and I believe that everyone should adopt a “Pay it Forward” attitude. Can you imagine if you did 3 random acts of kindness and the only thing

you asked in return was to “Pay it Forward” to 3 people? Now that’s powerful!!

What can you do to “Pay it Forward” today?

“There is no more noble occupation in the world

than to assist another human being—to help

someone succeed.”

~Alan Loy McGinnis

Chapter Highlights

Give even when you feel like you have nothing to offer.

Be the light for someone. Think in abundance. “Pay it Forward” and teach others to

do the same. Teach your kids to do what you’re

doing.

Call to Action: Watch “Pay it Forward” and then post a comment on my website telling me what you thought. www.alishiawillardson.blogspot.com

Accomplishments | Chapter 6

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”

~Harry S. Truman

Do you have a “To Do” list a mile long? Does your stomach cringe every time you look at it because you are busy doing so many other things? One simple thing you can do to change the daunting “To Do” list is, change the name. A simple change of the name will change your feelings around it. Change it to “Accomplishments”, its way more pleasant when you are looking at that title. It will bring a smile to your face because it makes you feel like you’ve already achieved it.

While looking at your list of accomplishments, focus on being grateful for the things that you have been able to get done throughout the day. Realize

tomorrow is a new day full of opportunities to get even more done. Prioritize your list of accomplishments, that way you get the most important stuff done first. It all doesn’t have the same priority level. A lot of the time when we are looking the list of everything we have to do, we get overwhelmed because we feel like it all has to be done right now. After you make your accomplishment list, put a number next to it, letting you know the order in which it needs to be done. One of the best things about having a long accomplishment list is, being able to delegate things to other people. It doesn’t always have to be done your way or at your level. As long as it gets done and it gets done right, that’s all that matters. Sometimes learning to relinquish control can be your greatest gift. Giving up control will give you more freedom to focus on the things that need your attention and more free time for yourself.

Multi-tasking will be your greatest ally when you are crazy busy. Now the traditional form of multi-tasking means you are doing 3 projects at the same time, dispersing your attention 3 different ways so it’s taking longer for it to get done. I am talking about 2 things you can do at the same time while having success at both. Workout while watching your favorite television show, get ready for the day while listening to an audio book and setting a timer for 15 minutes on each task you have to do so that you don’t get lost for an hour. These things will help you stay on point and get a lot more done at the same time. You can get some great information from www.themindaware.com.

The Mind Aware helps you have the success you want and they do that through a teleconference series with successful entrepreneurs who teach you what they

know. Plus their Facebook page has daily mantras and quotes that inspire as well.

There’s another part to your accomplishment list that’s important and that’s what you are focusing on. We know that there’s good and bad, positive and negative, up and down etc. The one thing that we need to remember is that what you focus on is as equally important. When you are working on your accomplishment list, think about all that you are going to get done, how quickly it will get done and how well you will do at it. Whatever your mind is focusing on will determine the quality of your work.

Think about this for a second; your son comes home from school with his report card which has 1 F, 2 B’s and 3 A’s. You start off with “Jonny, you are doing fantastic in English, PE & History, great job! I love that you’ve brought up your grade in History from a C to an A, thank

you for working so hard. I am going to take you to dinner for improving. We are very proud of you with all you’ve accomplished over the last term. What are your plans to bring the F up to a passing grade? Why do you feel you got an F in the class? What can you do better to make sure that it doesn’t happen again?Can you see how this conversation would elicit a positive response in your son? He would be happy that you’re pleased with the good he is doing and you guys have talked about a plan to get that “F” up to a passing grade.

 Focus on the positive with your children and people in your life. When you focus on building them up for all the good they’ve done or the good they have in them, you will notice that more good will come from them. There is something to be said for positive reinforcement. “The Secret” says, “Like attracts like”, so focus

on the good and bring more good things out of them.

“The greatest accomplishment is

not in never falling, but in

rising again after you fall.”

~Vince Lombardi

Chapter Highlights To do lists are now

“Accomplishment Lists” Multi-task things that you need to

get done. Spend more time focusing on the

positive and you will see the negative disappear.

Call to Action: Create an accomplishment list while feeling good about all that you will get done. Set a timer for each accomplishment so that you stay on task.

Find Your Balance | Chapter 7

“I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.”

~Oprah Winfrey

There are a lot of things that can throw off your life balance. When your life balance is thrown off you become stressed, feel uneasy about life and don’t know where you’re going. Being in balance will help things run smoothly and help you create a happier life.

We are going to talk about the MOST important things in life that make up the balance wheel.

You can fill your wheel of life in however you would like. The most important thing is figuring out what your priorities are. Number each priority you listed and then it’s time to figure out how to apply this in your life.

Let’s say your wheel of life looks like this; you, significant other, Mother/Father, work & volunteer work. Take a look at this list closely, if you are running your life in a different order is why you are feeling out of balance.

A lot of the time you will see the life order like this; Mother/Father, work, significant other, you & volunteer work or even volunteer work and then you.

I hear a mother/father say all the time, “My kids always come first!” This is a dangerous way to balance life. First off, YOU” should be number one. When you take care of you, when you are happy, when you are in good health and when you are doing the things that you love, you are a much better person, partner and parent. When you are out of balance with yourself then you will notice that all the other areas of your life balance wheel will suffer.

Next should come your partner; the foundation with your partner is more important than putting your kids first because, when your foundation with your partner is off balance then the whole foundation to your life is off balance. Taking time to create that strong foundation, is extremely important! You will find more on this in “Live The Life You Love, Relationships”.

Next, you want to take time to do fun things one on one with your children or as a family. Vacations are a great way to do this and I do suggest that if you have the time, take a road trip. The best memories are made on road trips. No matter how long or short, you can create memories for a life time. Think of things you can do together that create unity and love.

When you do this, you teach your children that taking care of their well being and happiness is very important. Loving their partner and having a strong foundation in their relationship creates a happy home life. And being a great parent, spending quality time with their children is a must! Everything else will fall into to place after these three.

Working and providing a living for the family is important because that’s what determines the quality of life that you live. Remember this, no amounts of money will ever make you happy, it gives you options. Some of the richest people in the world are the unhappiest people you will ever meet, due to the fact that they have none of the core values to create a balanced life. This goes to show that money isn’t everything.

“Fortunate, indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right

measure of himself and holds a just balance between what he can

acquire and what he can use.”

~Peter Latham

Chapter Highlights

Your life will be in balance when you have your priorities in the right order. You, relationship with your partner and your relationship with your kids.

Money isn’t everything, it gives you options.

Call to Action: Readjust your life balance wheel in the order I have suggested.

Gratitude | Chapter 8

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

~William Arthur Ward

The strongest power of all power is that of gratitude. Remember back when we talked about not blaming others, taking responsibility for your actions and emotions? A great way to channel energy around the house is eliminating the word, sorry from everyone’s vocabulary. Saying “sorry” feels like your admitting guilt to something you may not feel like you did. Sometimes when you say “sorry” you don’t mean it, so you will end up doing it again creating more things to be sorry about.

When you do something that creates tension or have a disagreement with someone else, say “Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I’ll d better

next time”. You will feel way better by using this phrasing and the person you are saying it to reacts more positively. Teach this to your kids, people will think you are crazy because your kids are speaking with respectful dialect.

If things aren’t going the way you want them to, life is stressful, money is low and you don’t know what to do. Turn to being grateful for what you do have; the money and the good things that are happening. Get a notebook and make it your gratitude journal. Better yet, do a project, create your own gratitude journal and while you are making it, think about all the things you are grateful for in your life. Do this as something to spend some quality time with yourself, maybe even turn on some music.

Write at least 1 thing you are grateful for every day and focus on that one thing all day long. Don’t let any of the negative

things that are bringing you down get in the way of feeling the feelings of gratitude for what you wrote down. For the things that you wish would happen, write it like this, “I am so happy and grateful now that ____”, then fill in the blank. This is a very powerful tactic in channeling your thought process, and energy.

There will be moments in your day of doubt, frustration and worry, but they will come less and less. Eventually you will naturally focus on what you are grateful for and hardly ever on the things that are bothering you.

When you are feeling the feelings of angst over your life, say to yourself “Everything will work out how it’s suppose to, I know it will” or “I believe everything will work out how it’s suppose to”. Hold on to that belief even when the going gets tough and before you know it, something will happen to pull you through it.

Having faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains!!

“As we express our gratitude, we must

never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but

to live by them.”

~John F. Kennedy

Chapter Highlights Create a gratitude journal. Write in your gratitude journal every

day. Be grateful for everything good in

your life. Believe and be grateful even when

things are tough. Focus on what you wrote in your

gratitude journal all day long.

Call to Action: Buy or make a gratitude journal and write what you are grateful for today. Let the law of attraction go to work for you.

Optical Illusions | Chapter 9

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it.”

~Unknown

It seems tempting to cross over that forbidden fence to get what looks like something great, but once you get close, you realize you have something better right in front of you. Now if you aren’t a metaphor type of person that may be confusing to you. To put it better, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

When coaching people that are struggling and feel like their life is as low and horrible as it’s going to get, My favorite thing to tell them is “If you and nine other people walked into a room and set your problems out on the table, you would gladly pick yours back up and walk out the door”. Someone always has it worse, so that’s another reason why looking at the

positive in whatever situation you are facing, is important. It can always be worse than what it is right now. Your job is to switch your focus to what you can do, to make it better and better right now. A lot of the time you will find that when you are dwelling on the things that are happening in your life, you are playing victim to your life around you. You aren’t the victim of your life; you are the ruler of your destiny and the master of your fate. You can do, be and have anything you want in life. It starts with deciding what you want, believing that you will have it, being grateful that you are going to receive it and then go to “work” to make it happen.

When I say “go to work”, I am saying that you need to listen to your inner voice; the Universe, god or whatever is your higher power. The way is right in front of your face, it’s missing the willful and

determined person that wants it bad enough. How bad do you want it?Wanting it bad enough is three quarters of the battle. Once you know how bad you want it, you are more willing to do whatever it takes to get it or achieve it. This true for everything in your life!

“What this power isI cannot say; all I know is

that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that

state of mind in which he knows exactly what he

wants and is fully determined not to quit

until he finds it.”

~Alexander Graham Bell

Chapter Highlights

The best thing in your life is right in front of you.

Someone always has it worse, so be grateful for what you have.

You are the ruler of your life and the master of your fate.

Listen to your inner voice. How bad you want it is three

quarters of the battle.

Call to Action: Write down everything you are blessed to have in your life right now.

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like, “If you live each day as if

it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”  Since then…I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?”  And whenever the

answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change

something.  Your time is limited…Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most

important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition…Everything

else is secondary.”~Steve Jobs

Acknowledgements

A huge thanks to my husband Daniel for always supporting me and helping me make my dreams come true!

About the Author

Alishia Willardson was born and raised in Utah where she met her husband and now they reside in Florida with their 2 boys.

Ever since she was a little girl she’s known that she was born to help people, decided to do that through her writing and being a

Life Coach.

Other work by Alishia WillardsonLive The Life You Love “Relationships”

Have you known that you wanted a change in your life? A change in your relationship, but not know how? Do you want to connect with your partner on a deeper level and get to know them better?

This book is for you! It will help create a stronger bond between you and your partner by teaching you to work through your own issues. You will also learn to communicate better by learning to move forward & leave the past in the past. All of this combined is what creates the foundation in your relationship and sets the tone for building the life you love”!

Contact Alishia Willardson:www.alishiawillardson.blogspot.comwww.facebook.com/youdeservehappinessalishiawillardsonbooks@gmail.com