Listening is a Skill

Presented by:Dr. Patricia L. McDiarmid

HLTH 365Fall 2012

Listening Workshop Objectives

To take stock of your own listening skills and think about your strengths and

Identify where you might need improvement in your personal listening skills including addressing and eliminating any “poor” habits

Gain an increased awareness of the importance listening skills have in an effective communication process

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” Henry David Thoreau

The Communication process can be broken

down into its four major aspects:

• READING • WRITING• SPEAKING• LISTENING

READING

LISTENING

SPEAKING

WRITING

Communication Loop

Scoring Personal Listening Inventory

SCORING: Subtotal A: Total Number of NO responses to

questions 1-16: ______________ (page 1) Subtotal B: Total Number of YES responses to

questions 17-32: ___________ (page 2) Grand Total: Subtotal A + Subtotal B.

__________ What’s your number???

Personal Listening Inventory Results

0 – 10 Did you read the instructions? Don’t worry; most of us are at this point.

11 – 15 Much better than most, but like us all we still need to learn more.

16 – 20 Not bad; you should do okay in most relationships.

21 – 25 Pretty good; you are in the upper quartile of the world’s best listeners.

26 – 30 We will pay you to teach this listening workshop

31 - 32 You are a listening Guru. Give us your secrets.

Solve the AnagramWhat anagram of the

word LISTEN represents a passive

state that may or may not indicate listening?

TOP TEN WORST LISTENING

BEHAVIORS…

Top Ten Worst Listening Habits

????????

Letterman’sTop 10 Irritating Listening Habits

1. Interrupting the speaker2. Finishing the speaker’s thoughts. 3. Topping the speaker's story. 4. Showing interest in something other than

the conversation.5. Not looking at the speaker.6. Not responding to the speaker's requests.7. Saying, "Yes, but . . .," 8. Rushing the speaker.9. Forgetting what was talked about

previously.10. Asking too many questions about details.

WHO would give you your HIGHEST Listening score?

Would it be your significant other?Your co-workers?Your parents/siblings?Your friends? WHO and WHY???

Receptive Body Language

“What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listening BreakdownsThe Three “P’s”Problem-solving

PerceptionPower

The 10 WORST Habits represent two overarching categories of poor listening:

•Lack of attentionand

•Double-thinking

People often immediately launch into presenting solutions to people who come

to them with problems. Often the first responses are something like:

“You ought to…”“Did you try?”“If I were you I would…”“Don’t worry about it…”“She didn’t mean to…”

                      

What does it mean to really listen?

STEP ONE Hearing. Hearing just means

listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying.

For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.

What does it mean to really listen?

STEP TWO Understanding. The next part of

listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way.

Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you

hear that no two are alike, think about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra."

What does it mean to really listen?

STEP THREE

Judging. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense.

Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems believable."

Why LISTEN??? To avoid saying the wrong thing, being tactless To dissipate strong feelings To learn to accept feelings (yours and others) To generate a feeling of caring To help people start listening to you To increase the other person's confidence in you To make the other person feel important and

recognized To be sure you both are on the same wavelength To be sure you both are focused on the same

topic To check that you are both are on target with one

another

Value of Listening Skills Listening is a HUGELY

underrated skill By improving listening skills a

person can radically improve interpersonal relationships with people around him or her.

Remember: TIME is on your side! Thoughts move about

four times as fast as speech.

With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.

“Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.” Caroline Schoeder