Lioness Magazine October 2011

2 OCTOBER 2011 LIONESSS

http://www.thebusinewschannel.com

LIONESSS OCTOBER 2011 3

C O N T R I B U T I N G W R I T E R S

FA I T HHow to overcomeobsticles in your lifeMinister Gregory Jones useshis God given ability toinspire, educate and motivateothers to attain new heightsin areas of spiritual growthand development

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C O V E RTaking it to the next levelKimberly Williams is the womanbehind the Next Level DevelopmentConference for Women of Color

O N T H E C O V E RKimberly Williams

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S O C I A LWatchME 911Two women createphone app toencourage safety

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M U S I CKetch a vibeThe carribbeaninfluenced soundsof Julie Dexter

32C A R E E RGoing globalAble Wanamakok talks aboutjuggling her career and beinga mother

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B U S I N E S SGetting InspiredJill Monson finds inspira-tion after surviving adear loss

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5 EDITOR’S LETTER

20 THE STILETTO STATEMENT

22 SHINE ON SISTA! Illumination

(and inspiration for the daily grind)

ISSUE 3 OCTOBER 2011

F E A T U R E S

ISSUE 3 OCTOBER 2011

Lioness Magazine is the first e-zine

geared toward female entrepreneurs. We

deliver sharp and compelling information

on a variety of topics that are relevant to

female entrepreneurs and professionals.

Our mission is to elevate, educate and

support female professionals.

We celebrate the unique challenges and

achievements of women in business. We

believe women are multi-dimensional

creations who flourish, personally and

professionally, when they take time to

nurture their spirits.

Editor-in-ChiefNatasha Clark

Copy EditorJean Wroblewski

Art DirectorLeonardo Pilares

Director of PhotographyDenise Smith

ColumnistsCrystal Senter Brown

Brenda’s ChildErin Corriveau

Dawn LeaksKatelyn Gendron

Contributing WritersTony Gaskins, Jr.Lamara Hunter

mailto:[email protected]


editor’s letter

They call it “growing pains” for a reason.Stepping outside of our comfort zones makes us feel exposed and vulnerable; and depend-

ing on the situation that pushes us toward change, it can also hurt emotionally.

As women we have the ability to be resilient. Many of us have championed circumstances

that others have told us were impossible. We should not allow external conditions to be the

only force behind change in our life. We should constantly seek out avenues to do this for

ourselves. Having faith in a source greater than us can help us channel the strength we need

to pursue the changes we desire.

Taking our lives to the next level requires transitions each day. Do something you never

thought you could do. Go out on that limb of fear and embrace positive changes – a new fitness regime, a new class, headlining a new

project at work.

One of my favorite writers, Michelle McKinney Hammond, wrote in her book The Diva Mystique that no one can move forward unless

he or she assesses where they presently are. Hammond writes, “You can’t change something if you don’t know what you’re supposed to

change. Ask yourself the hard questions and be willing to answer them truthfully. Remember, this is about you becoming a better you.”

So this month I ask you to challenge yourself. Take a quiet moment to reflect on your life. What’s your next move? Where do you want

to be six months from now or in one year? What do you need to do to get there? There may be choices to make that are difficult. Imagine

that each time you take one step toward what you want, your goal is taking two steps toward you. Eventually, you will meet, but you have

to move to get there.

Our souls have boundless energy to draw upon. Harvest it. We all know people who have made it out of impossible situations. Some have

survived illnesses even though doctors told them there was no hope. Others have been left standing in towns that have been completely

ravaged by natural disasters. Climbing over obstacles gives us a courage and confidence that a straight and easy path never could. I encour-

age you to tap into this capability. You’ll come out on the other side transformed in a way you never imagined.

Always Aspire to Inspire …

Natasha


Obstaclesin your

HOW TO OVERCOME

Life

Min Gregory Jones A Certified Christian Life Coach and Christian Counselor throughthe Association of Christian Counselors, Minister Gregory Jones uses his God given ability toinspire, educate and motivate others to attain new heights in areas of spiritual growth anddevelopment. In 2008 he founded Still Waters Christian Life Coaching where the motto is:“Christian Coaching Without Religion, but With Results.”

e all have the tendency to seeobstacles as insurmountableproblems in our lives. In reali-ty, obstacles are really onlydefined by how we view them.

How many of us didn't start something or gave upor because we imagined the obstacles as some greatbig giants we couldn't overcome? We miss out onlife's opportunities when we don't know how todeal with the obstacles in our path, be they real orimagined. Well, I'm going to help you to over-come your fear and to look at obstacles as steppingstones, not stumbling blocks. I want to show youthat with the power of God and with a little addedcommitment on your part, you can make yourdreams come true.

Here are four steps to help youovercome obstacles:

1. Dream without them.

What do I mean by that? Imagine for a momentthat those obstacles, real or imagined, were notthere. Experience the possibilities of the thingsthat you could accomplish if those obstaclesweren't there. What would you be doing? Whatwould it look like? What would you be doing rightnow in your life? If you can see yourself clearly anddream without those obstacles, then how impor-

tant do you really believe those obstacles are to liv-ing a successful life?

2. Find out what worked in the past.

Different strategies work for different people, andwhat works for me just might not work for you. Agreat way to find out what works for you is toexplore what worked for you in the past when youhad to overcome an obstacle in your life. Recallingthat you have overcome obstacles before helps tobuild courage and renew your self-confidence. Ifyou overcame obstacles before, you can do itagain. Ask yourself these specific questions:

(a) When you've faced obstacles in the past,how did you overcome them?

(b) Think about a time when you faced a fear andbeat it. How did you do it?

Take the time to write down the answers so thatyou can see an obstacle for what it really is. This isa great way to help you build up your courage.

3. Brainstorm Options.

You have the God-given ability to think thingsthrough. You can also ask others to help you tobrainstorm so that you can see things from a vari-ety of perspectives. People are always willing tohelp, and this exercise gives you the ability to see

how others perceive your problem. It just mighthelp you to decide that your obstacle wasn't reallyan obstacle at all.

4. Walk in the light.

We all have to work through internal obstacles likefear and insecurity. Why not let God's word beyour helping hand to a breakthrough. As stated in2 Corinthians 10:4: "For the weapons of our war-fare are not carnal, but mighty in God..."Whenever we are fearful and insecure, we can lookto God to help us confront these obstacles. Iwould also recommend that if you suffer suchbondage, seek out a Christian Life Coach or aChristian Counselor for guidance. Don't let theobstacles of fear and insecurity keep you from liv-ing up to your God-given potential.

These are just some of the things that one can doto overcome the obstacles that stand in the way ofsuccess in your everyday living. Use these tips andbegin your journey of self discovery. You'll neverknow what you have been missing until you over-come your obstacles. You'll be glad you did!

In His service,Min Gregory Jones

W

http://stillwaterslifecoaching.com

Thursday, October 27th

Sheraton Springfield

One Monarch Place

Breakfast at 7:15am

Program from 7:45 to 9:15am

There is no charge to attend the event,but you must register to ensure your seat.

Suggested minimum donation is $100

Annual Awards for:

Employer of the Year

Rookie Employer of the Year

Armand Tourangeau Volunteer of the Year

R.S.V.P. by October 22:

(413) 781-5359 or [email protected]

Event co-chairs:

Timm Marini, FieldEddy Insurance

Daniel Flynn, People’s United Bank

Keynote Speaker: Dick Hoyt of Team Hoyt

hru.org

http://www.hru.org


Able Wanamakok

going global


Mothers around the world share the samestory of managing the balancing actJuggling a career and being a mother is somethingthat I only recommend if you’re up for the longhours and hard work. My name is AbleWanamakok and I moved to Phuket, Thailand,about six years ago when my husband wanted toopen a business in his native country.

The opportunity for me to become a news anchorin Thailand was part luck and part destiny. Youcould say my career began at a housewarmingparty hosted by a local news mogul who hap-pened to be looking for a news anchor who wasAsian, spoke English, and who would look pre-sentable on camera. Well let me tell you, I was sonervous at my first screen test that I could barelyutter the script I was to read. Luckily, after a fewmonths of practice, I finally got the hang of it.My public speaking skills were initially slim tonone. Thank God the show was taped rather thanlive.

What started out as a small deal became biggerand bigger. After two years of broadcasting, theprogram that I was anchoring began to receivemore recognition as the first television news pro-gram originating in Phuket. People were startingto recognize me out in public which, in turn, gaveme more confidence with my broadcasting skills. All was going well with my job when I becamepregnant with our first child back in April 2007.My pregnancy was an easy one. For nine monthsI was in a good mood and had suffered from no

morning sickness. We named our son PhukanokColin Wanamakok. He brought great joy intomy life and made me smile every day with his easygoing personality and beautiful little face. I felttruly blessed to be able to have this little angel bea part of my family. Living in Thailand had many benefits for me

including having family support and being able toafford hiring a caring nanny. I was able to returnto work three months after giving birth, thanks tothe help of my mother-in-law and our nanny,Lek. Along with my husband, these two people

Continued on page 11

Global:

A B L E WA N A M A K O K


are my life savers because raising a child isn’t aneasy thing.

Being a working mom is very difficult for mebecause my life changed so drastically. I wassimultaneously dealing with my lack of sleep atnight, breast-feeding, and the realization that Iwas now responsible not only for myself but forthe life of my child. These were slow and some-times painful changes to my life. There weretimes when I just felt stuck and would cry becauseI did not know how to handle a situation.Luckily I always had my husband and my parentsto fall back on for moral support.

My daily routine began with being awakened bymy son around 6:30 or 7:00 am, eating breakfast,and making sure I had pumped enough breastmilk to leave in the frig before going to work. Mychild was left in the care of our nanny or mymother-in-law when she came to visit us everyfew months. I was also able to stop back homeand check on my baby regularly during the day,thanks to the flexibility of my job.

Two years later, I became pregnant with my sec-ond child. This pregnancy was unexpected. I wasinitially very sad because I had plans for my careerbut soon after I realized that I was once againblessed to be pregnant and that I must welcome

my second child just as much as I had welcomedColin. Phutanate Lincoln Wanamakok was bornon May 29, 2011, and is a chubby but healthybaby.

Having one child was manageable but imaginecaring for two at the same time! I’m noOctomom or Kate Gosselin and have no idea howthey deal with all the stress and uncontrollablechaos that comes with multiple births. For me,motherhood is a tough job!

Unlike my little Colin, Lincoln was muchtougher to care for because he would cry non-stopfor hours, and I had no idea why. I rememberedone time when I was only able to sleep for fourhours on and off for a week. I lost it when myhusband came home late after a long day of work.I told him that I couldn’t take care of Lincoln any-more. I was so stressed out that I handed the babyover to my husband and crashed down on mybed.

At the time when Lincoln was born, I had alreadyleft my old company and had decided to ventureout on my own. I did not have the pressure andresponsibility of a job anymore but now had thepressures of being the mother of two. As a personwho loves to work, I never imagined myself beinga stay-at-home mom. Now that I was home all

the time, even with the help of a nanny, it was atough transition for me. Sometimes it was hardjust to think about no longer moving forwardwith my career. I felt like I was losing my identi-ty.

Whenever I ask for advice from other mothers,they always tell me that my children will growquickly and that a career will come later. For now,these mothers recommend that I should investmore of my time in the well-being of my kids.When I hear these words and how they advise menot to follow in their footsteps, I can feel the wis-dom they have learned from the mistakes theyhave made. I realize that they are right and thatmy children need my time and love me more thananything else in their world. I need to be there forthem.

So after not working for almost two years andknowing that my nanny will continue to help metake care of my children, I agreed to return toanchoring after receiving a phone call from theproducer of a local TV network. It was as thoughfate had stepped in because their anchor neededto move back to the U.S., and the position wasavailable. I went in for a screen test after two anda half years of no on-air practice, and I got the jobon the spot!

My new position requires me to be on the air livetwice a week. I had never done live broadcastingbefore but knowing that my kids are well takencare of at home and at school, I am able to spendthe time required of me to focus on my job. I stillmake mistakes like reading the words incorrectlyoff the prompter; but with more practice, I knowI will get better.

I can truly say that I am only able to juggle beinga mother of two and a news anchor because I keepmy priorities in perspective. The way things areworking out for me now is as perfect as it can getbecause I still feel that my career is moving for-ward (even though it might be slower than Ithought it would be), and I am able to spend a lotof my time with my children. I don’t feel guiltyabout working because after all, I still need to givetime to myself and not forget who I am.

GLOBALGOING

Able Wanamakok heads AWPR Phuket, a boutique PR & mar-keting firm specialized in social media marketing, online videos andpublic relations campaigns concentrating on small to medium-sizedfirms headquartered in Phuket, Thailand.

http://www.awpr-phuket.com


One woman who stepped out on inspiration

GettingInspired

Jill Monson Inspired Marketing works with small and medium sized companies, aswell as nonprofits. Their services include: Marketing Strategies, Logo Design, MediaBuying Strategies, Graphic Design, Website Design, Social Media, Event Planning, Videoand Audio Services, Training and more.Contact Jill at (413) 303-0101 [email protected]

I remember sitting at the cemetery as the preacherwas speaking about my Mom. “Sue was a kindwoman. She always gave of herself to others.” Mymind began to wander. My Mom was only 56,and she was gone. Every person here at her funer-al must have been thinking about how they knewher, how she influenced them, and how she madea difference in their lives. What if I only hadanother twenty years left to live? How would peo-ple remember me? Hopefully not for sellingcoupons (which was my job at the time).

I always knew I was passionate about helping localbusinesses thrive and about keeping business aslocal as possible. I had no idea what that lookedlike though. With the help of an amazing bestfriend and terrific brother, the concept for mybusiness was born. I call my company InspiredMarketing – because my Mom inspired me to doit. The logo features a blue butterfly which sym-bolizes my Mom. Okay, now I had a name andbusiness cards, but I also had a mortgage andLOTS of bills. I knew I didn’t want to becomeknown as the “Queen of selling coupons;” and Iknew I needed more creativity in my life, but I wasafraid.

I was given an opportunity to become theDirector of Marketing for a large company andwas told that I could pursue my business on theside. What a perfect opportunity – or so Ithought. Working full time gave me almost notime to grow my business and many days left mecreatively drained. As the end of 2010 drew clos-

er, I knew my contract with my employer wascoming to an end. Thankfully, I had been able tosave some money so that I could survive until Ifound my next job.

The calendar flipped, and in 2011, I was officiallyunemployed. I had a few job offers, but I keptthinking back to that day in cemetery. When peo-ple would be saying their final good-bye to me atsome future day, how did I want to be remem-bered? I knew I needed some input from myfriends, family and mentors, so I decided to holda focus group – about ME! Phew. That was scary!It was also an amazing eye opener. I learned thatthis whole group of people believed in me. Theythought it was my time. One person said some-thing so obvious it took me aback. “If you do thisand don’t succeed, will it kill you? Literally, willyou die?” Of course not was my answer. Aftermaking several lists of the pros & cons of owningmy own business and then waffling for anotherfew weeks, I made the decision to move forward,full speed ahead.

If you are considering forming your own business,my first recommendation, based solely on my per-sonal experience, is to begin by finding a locationfor your business. I thought I could work fromhome, but my personal life kept interfering withmy professional life. It is also hard to get dressedand go to work in the dining room. There are veryinexpensive spaces available to rent if you look forthem, and having a business address truly helpsyou and others to take your business seriously.

I would also recommend that you, as a new busi-ness owner, seek out available resources such as:

The Massachusetts Small BusinessDevelopment Center (MSBDC) which offersfree and confidential small business counseling.Telephone (413) 737-6712

The United States Small BusinessAdministration (SBA) which offers financialassistance and entrepreneurial services.Telephone (413) 785-0268

SCORE (Counselors to America's SmallBusiness) which offers confidential free counsel-ing and high impact, low cost business planningworkshops). Telephone (413) 785-0314

Last but not least, I would encourage you to get agood business attorney and a good bookkeeper.

It has been eight months since I launched my ownbusiness. Many people wonder if owning my ownbusiness is still scary. Yes, it is. Do I worry aboutpaying the bills, getting health insurance, beingsuccessful? Every day. I think back to hearing apresentation made by Allison Levine, the teamcaptain of the first American women’s Everestexpedition, who said, “Fear is fine. Complacencycan kill you.” I knew that taking the risk of form-ing my company would not kill me. I also knewthat doing nothing would kill me inside. That’swhy I went for it!

http://www.denisesmithphotography.com


FEARDO YOU


PUBLICSPEAKINGDon’t let it keep you from takingyour career to the next levelFeeling some nervousness before giving a speech is natural and even beneficial, but toomuch nervousness can be detrimental. Here are some proven tips on how to controlyour butterflies and give better presentations:

1. Know your material. Pick a topic you are interested in. Know more about it than you include in your speech.Use humor, personal stories and conversational language – that way you won’t easily forget what to say.

2. Practice. Practice. Practice! Rehearse out loud with all equipment you plan on using. Revise as necessary. Workto control filler words; Practice, pause and breathe. Practice with a timer and allow time for the unexpected.

3. Know the audience. Greet some of the audience members as they arrive. It’s easier to speak to a group offriends than to strangers.

4. Know the room. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and anyvisual aids.

5. Relax. Begin by addressing the audience. It buys you time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile and count tothree before saying anything. ("One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. Pause. Begin.)Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm.

6. Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident.Visualize the audience clapping – it will boost your confidence.

7. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative andentertaining. They’re rooting for you.

8. Don’t apologize for any nervousness or problem – the audience probably never noticed it.

9. Concentrate on the message – not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties andconcentrate on your message and your audience.

10. Gain experience. Mainly, your speech should represent you — as an authority and as a person. Experiencebuilds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience youneed in a safe and friendly environment.

Toastmasters International is a non-profiteducational organization that teachespublic speaking and leadership skillsthrough a worldwide network of meetinglocations.

Visit www.toastmasters.org

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Taking itto the


By Dawn Leaks

A simple Google search on “getting to the nextlevel” will yield hundreds of articles and videosbut what does “getting to the next level” reallymean? What is the next level and why should Iwant to go there?

Luckily, I had the incredible opportunity to sitdown with Kimberly Williams, the founder andvisionary behind Next Level Development,based in Springfield, MA and get some answersto my questions.

Dawn: What is Next Level Development(NLD) all about?

Kim: The explicit mission of Next Level is tosupport the careers and personal developmentof women and people of color. We do thisthrough our annual Next Level DevelopmentConference for Women of Color as well as bookdiscussions and several other events throughoutthe year.

Dawn: Let’s talk about the conference. How didyou come with the idea?

Kim: Well, Next Level Development, alongwith the conference was born out of my visionthat women and people of color in and aroundWestern Massachusetts would have access tohigh quality and affordable personal and profes-sional development opportunities that are prac-tical and immediately applicable in a real lifecontext.

Dawn: There is a lot of talk these days aboutprofessional development. How does NLD tieinto that?

Kim: One of the things that happens a lot inprofessional development settings is that there islittle or no connection to “this is how I live mylife”. That might be what I do in my career buthow does that relate to what I do in my life?Next Level looks at not only what you can doprofessionally but where you can go personallyand how you leverage what’s going on in yourpersonal life to get to where you want to be pro-fessionally and vice versa. I think it’s unnaturalto separate your own internal development (per-sonal, spiritual, etc.) from what you do in yourcareer or profession. Efficacy for women ofcolor deals with how we think about ourselvesand how that impacts our development.Personal and professional development have tobe married.

Dawn: So, everyone is talking about going tothe next level and professional development.What about the person that is asking “Why doI need to go to the next level?”

Kim: I try not to talk about professional devel-opment without putting it into context. We’rereally talking about career development. Whenpeople think of the of the word “professional”sometimes they think white collar office andthey think if they are not working at a corpora-tion then they are not a professional or that thisdoesn’t relate to them. Or they think if they arenot at a certain level in a corporation that thisdoesn’t pertain to them. It’s not simply abouthow to advance your career; it’s about how toadvance your entire life to the next level. This isfor someone who is looking to have somethingmore, something better, or something differentin her life.

Kimberly Williams raises the bar for her sistersNext Level


http://www.hustlefitonline.com


ccording to the American CancerSociety, more than 200,000women in the United States will bediagnosed with breast or ovariancancer this year. Up to 10 percent

of these cases will be due to an inherited mutationin the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene, two genes thatnormally work to prevent breast and ovarian can-cer. Myriad Genetics, Inc. developed theBRACAnalysis, a blood test to detect these muta-tions. Women who carry one of these gene muta-tions have up to an 87 percent risk of developingbreast cancer and up to a 44 percent risk of devel-oping ovarian cancer.

“There are approximately 500,000 women in theU.S. who may be carrying a BRCA1 or BRCA2gene mutation which predisposes them to devel-oping breast or ovarian cancer,” said Gregory C.Critchfield, M.D., President of Myriad Genetic

Laboratories, Inc. “Doctors help patients under-stand their risks for breast or ovarian cancer andhelp identify individuals who may benefit fromBRACAnalysis testing to help reduce their risks forcancer.

In normal cells, BRCA1 and BRCA2 help ensurethe stability of the cell’s genetic material (DNA)and help prevent uncontrolled cell growth. But insome cases, a person inherits from either parent aBRCA1 or BRCA2 gene with an alteration. Thisalteration or mutation interferes with the normalactivity of the gene, making a person more suscep-tible to breast and ovarian cancer.

According to estimates, women with an alteredBRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have a 56 to 87 percentrisk to develop breast cancer by age 70, whereasthe risk for women in the general population isonly about 7 percent. Additionally, women with

an altered BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have a 27 to 44percent risk to develop ovarian cancer by age 70,whereas the risk is less than two percent forwomen in the general population.

“The BRACAnalysis test provides potentially life-saving information to women about their inherit-ed risk … the response we received from patientsand the medical community to our previous cam-paigns has been overwhelmingly positive. Thisfeedback reinforced our commitment to educatemore women and their doctors about the risk ofhereditary cancer,” Critchfield added.

To learn more visit

www.bracnow.com

A

The test that can savethe lives of women


By Katelyn Gendron

Fashion, just like a woman’s career, shouldalways see forward movement from season toseason. Staying ahead of the curve in WesternMassachusetts is not easy but given a little gasmoney and a GPS, you can shop at the bestfashion districts in the Northeast.

One must always remember that departmentstores in Western Massachusetts – as is thecase outside any major metropolitan area –are at least one year behind the latest trends.Why, you ask? Because the Powers That Befigure we won’t buy into the looks until we’vehad time to see them on the backs ofHollywood’s finest figureheads.

On such figurine who has endorsed a major(and affordable) brand this fall is actressDemi Moore for Ann Taylor. Billboards andposters of Demi in form-fitting ensemblesranging from tweeds to flared slacks tosweater dresses accented with faux fur are cur-rently plastered along urban roadways. Thecollection brings with it a mix of vintage stylesuch as ‘60s-inspired dresses as well as flairsfor the modern, working woman with state-ment-making jewelry.

While shooting the ad campaign, Moore toldthe Associated Press, “I feel like I’ve knownAnn Taylor since I was a kid. I’ve watched theclothes move into support for the workingwoman … I’ve seen as we’ve changed, that

they’ve changed, reflecting on how we live asmodern women, which is wearing things thattake us from day to night, from workout towork to weekend.”

This collection can be found at locations onBoylston and Newbury Streets in Boston or atthe West Farms Mall in Farmington, Conn.

Another set of Hollywood icons who havecoupled their name with a mainstream cloth-ing company this fall are the creators of theAMC show “Mad Men” for Banana Republic.This collection allows those in the workplaceto have a complete fedora to stiletto wardrobe

Fashion drives us Madwith wanting Moore


Entrepreneurs Rhonda Gilbert(left) and Sara Jackson of Divinityin Springfield, Massachusettsrecently hosted an outdoorgarden jewelry party.

Female professionals hit downtown Springfield, Massachusetts to enjoythe Young Professional Society of Greater Springfields' Salsa Night.

Kelly Holbrook,owner of SimplyDivine BeautyLounge, hosted acoffee and jazzmixer last month.


By Crystal Senter Brown

My calendar used to be an absolute mess.Every day of the week was filled with an over-abundance of activities noted with varying inkcolors for each type of commitment. Black orblue ink meant the commitment was work-related, green ink meant the commitment wasside-income related (weddings, poetry per-formances, etc.), and red ink meant the com-mitment was family related (doctor’s appoint-ments, school meetings, etc.) As you canimagine, by week’s end I was a basket case. Iwas always running and always trying to keepup with my schedule. But one day I took a few moments to look atmy schedule, and I realized that much of whatI had assigned myself to do had nothing to dowith me or the goals I had set for my life manyyears ago. Aside from work-related tasks, I hadscheduled lots of other stuff that really didn’tbenefit me or my family. I had to think aboutwhy I had allowed myself to take on so manyactivities. What was I trying to prove? Andwhy was I finding it so hard to say no?Part of my problem was that the people whowere asking me to do various things werefriends or people from the community. Theywere in a bind, and they needed someone tostep up and help out. I wanted to be helpful;but because I have so many contacts, otherpeople’s projects began to spill over into the

time I needed for myself and my OWN proj-ects. A good friend of mine (and fellowLioness) put it this way: “If you’re not gettingpaid to do it, then you need to consider if it isworth using your precious time to do it.” Iimmediately made a list of all of the tasks I hadtaken on, and then I decided if they werealigned with my personal or professional goals.If they weren’t, the tasks had to go.What happened next was nothing short of amiracle. As each superfluous task disappearedfrom my day-planner, suddenly the air waslighter. I could breathe again! I didn’t have thatpanic of rushing from one meeting to the next;and most importantly, I reclaimed some of thedowntime I had so dearly missed. Saying nowasn’t easy by any means, but it freed me up todo the things I most wanted to do.When you are asked to help out with a project,whether it is work-related, church-related orcommunity-related, how do you decide if youwill do it? I have discovered an easy way notonly to determine if the project was worthdoing, but also how to politely say no to theasker. Ask yourself, “If I do this, what will I be givingup?” Imagine that you have been asked to helporganize a community tag sale. The time com-mitment may be one day, or it may be severalweeks. If agreeing to help means that you have


“NO”The art of

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Why turning away from what you don’t want,will give you more time for what you do want

straight from the show’s costume designer,Janie Bryant.As with the Ann Taylor collection, “MadMen” mixes combinations of delicate lacetops with animal print accessories and classictweed jackets and slacks that accentuate thefeminine form without the threat of being toorevealing. My particular favorite, which per-sonifies the sultry sophistication of the MadMen Collection, is the “cigarette pant,” anabove-ankle, creased pant with a high waistand invisible zipper. Pair it with some solidcolored pumps, a silk, tie neck top and redlipstick, and you’ll be ready for a day on theset or in the office.

Check out the Mad Men Collection online orat store locations in Boston, Farmington,Conn., or New York City.

If you find yourself moving in the slow lane,be it at work or on your way to the local mall,try pushing the pedal a bit more and seewhere it takes you. You just might end upfinding a mad style all your own.

Katelyn Gendron is a nativeof New York, who is currently livingand working as a newspaper editorin Western Massachusetts. She is acollege-trained journalist and worldtraveler, who has documented herjourneys for various publicationsspanning five of the seven continents(she plans to visit the remaining twoduring her lifetime). Her motto:“Life’s a ball. Let’s play!”

fashion drives us MadContinued from page 20

http://theceomamma.com/blog/


STEP UPSTEP OUT!OR

Tony Gaskins Jr. is a highly sought-after life/relationship coach and motivationalspeaker. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show.Visit www.TonyGaskins.com

here comes a time in a relationshipwhen every woman wants to go tothe next level. Dating isn’t enough;you need something more and that’sa life-long commitment. It’s only

natural, and you deserve it. A man knows fromhis first real conversation with you what role heexpects you to play in his life. He knowswhether he is looking for a friend, a girlfriend,or a wife. Just because he wants you to be onething doesn’t mean that you can’t become some-thing else. That is determined by how you carryyourself. For example, if he wants a wife butthen you sleep with him in the first week, he

may put you in the “friends with benefits” cate-gory. Or he may be looking for a “friend withbenefits,” but you make him wait three months,during which time he falls in love with you andupgrades you to a potential wife. The womanhas all the control and dictates what a man willdo if he is interested in you. If he’s not interest-ed in you, then he’ll just leave if you don’t givehim what he wants and when he wants it.

If you’re dating a man and you want more of acommitment, then it’s time to put your footdown. Never give a man the benefits a husbandhas if you are only his girl friend. That will slowdown the maturation process of your relation-ship. Treat a man like a boyfriend if he is aboyfriend and not like a husband.

Pay close attention to the difference in thoseduties. As a girlfriend, you shouldn’t be doingany of what a wife does if you aren’t his wife. Alla man needs to know is that you can performthose tasks, but you don’t have to do them forhim to marry you. So if you are a girlfriend butare behaving like a wife, it’s time to pull back.It’s time to change the game up and let himknow that there will be no more sex, cooking,and living together. When you do this, you willbe forcing that man to step up in your life togive you what you want. If he wants you to be a

wife, he will marry you. I see it happen all thetime with the women I coach. If he neverintended for you to be his wife, he will leave youfor good or try his hardest to get you to changeyour mind about this new strength you have. Isee that happen all the time, too.

Today I ask that you love yourself with every-thing you’ve got. Know what you are worth andwhat you want and don’t accept anything less.Force that man to step up or step out.

It’s time to go to the Next Level!!

A Girl Friend’s Duties:

3Dates3Hugs3Kisses3Conversation

3Back rubs

3Holding hands

3Accepting gifts

3Giving gifts only on

special occasions

A Wife’s Duties:3Unconditional love3Sex on demand3Cooking3Cleaning3Supporting3Encouraging3Respecting3Forgiving3Life long commitment

T

to devote every Saturday for an entire month to sorting items to sell, you may want to considerresponding with “I’d love to help, but I don’t think I can fit such an extended commitment intomy schedule. Would it be possible for me to make a cash donation instead?” By offering to makea monetary donation to the cause, you’re showing the asker that you care. More importantly, bydonating money INSTEAD of your time, your Saturdays are freed up to spend with your fami-ly. A few months ago I went to hear my favorite author, Wally Lamb, speak at a local high school.He said he receives dozens of requests to speak, run workshops, and the like. He decided manyyears ago that he can only do so much. How does Lamb deal with the myriad of requests hereceives? One solution which works for him is to keep an index card with a scripted “sorry butI can’t” response right next to his telephone to recite to the caller when he receives a request hecannot honor. Having a scripted response makes it easier for him to say no, thus providing himwith more free time to write and create.Remember, if you don’t look out for yourself, who will? Take control of your life today by addingthe word no to your daily vocabulary. As mothers, we don’t have a problem telling our teenager,“No, you may not stay out until 2 a.m.” nor do we have a problem telling our five-year-old, “No,you may not have another cookie.” By using a simple two letter word, we free ourselves up to cre-ate the life we always wanted.

the art of “NO”Continued from page 22

Crystal Senter Brown hasbeen a performance poet for most ofher life. Born in Morristown, TN shehas performed at thousands of events.Her song "Large and Lovely" wasnominated for several music awardsincluding the Billboard Music SongAward, Peacedriven Song Award,ASCAP Music Plus Award and theUrban Music Award. Visitwww.cystalsenterbrown.com



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Dawn: Lioness Magazine is geared towardfemale entrepreneurs. How do NLD and theNLD conference apply to them?

Kim: - a couple of ways. First and foremost, Ithink there are lots of things that make entre-preneurs successful. The ability to meet peopleand to sell themselves and whatever it is thatthey are doing is huge. So, I think the confer-ence and participation in the events allows themto create that network, to meet new people.

This year specifically, we have a session designedfor entrepreneurs looking to take their businessto the next level. It’s being sponsored byUnityfirst.com, Janine Fondon. One of thethings I respect about Janine as a businesswoman is that she meets everyone she possiblycan. She takes as many opportunities as she canto leverage and build her relationships acrossgender, across race, everywhere you look. Thissession will help people think about how tobuild networks and where to get resources.

But as I said earlier, this isn’t just about how tobetter in your job or your business; it really isabout how to do better in your life. I think thattranscends a person’s career choice and profes-sional aspirations. For example, one of the mostpopular sessions last year was on how to organ-ize your home.

Dawn: How can people prepare themselves tocome to the conference or even to get to thenext level?

Kim: People who have enjoyed the conferenceand NLD events the most have been peoplewho came to get something. They might not

have known exactly what they wanted or how toget what they wanted but they knew they want-ed something different. The folks that have beenmost pleased are the people who were lookingfor something different in their lives.

The way the conference is formatted, the firstthing people get is motivation, an opening ofthe heart. The next piece is the panel of women,which is designed to help people see that otherwomen have similar struggles and to understandthat they can do bigger and better things. Thethird part is the tools – getting the tools to dosomething different. I always encourage all firsttime attendees to take our efficacy session. Itteaches you how to reprogram your mindbecause we have so much negative self talk thatwe often defeat ourselves. Even when someonewants to be helpful or support us sometimes ournegative self talk gets in the way of that. Efficacyis really about how to start to look at yourself asa person who can develop. Then there are theother break out sessions that I consider toolsand skill building. The last part of the confer-ence is always goal setting. What are you goingto do to implement some of these things you’vethought about? Knowing that you want some-thing different really is the catalyst.

Dawn: What else do you want people to knowabout NLD?

Kim: The whole mission of Next Level is tohelp people along this journey, whatever theirjourney is. I also want people to know that theyhave to own it. You own your development, youcan’t wait for someone to swoop in and help youwith something without taking that first step ofacknowledging that you need help.

For more information onNext Level Development andthe Next Level Development

Conference for Women of Color,visit urnextlevel.com

next levelContinued from page 17

http://www.urnextlevel.com


Phone appNew

Helps women stay safe

ast month WatchMe 911 hit themarket. It’s an iPhone app thatoffers women a safety net for the“what ifs” of life. With four cus-tomizable alert modes, seven alarm

sounds, a flashlight, connection to 911 and con-tacts by phone, text, email, Facebook andTwitter, WatchMe 911 is touted as the SwissArmy Knife of personal security apps.

Its versatility makes it a valuable tool for womenon the go, and it offers an added layer of protec-tion in a world that can sometimes be a chal-lenge to your peace of mind and personal secu-rity. With the tap of a screen, information isinstantly transmitted to those who can help:emergency services and your own network offirst responders.

"You download WatchMe 911 for the same rea-sons you have airbags in your car, teach yourkids not to talk to strangers and equip yourhome with smoke detectors -- because accidentshappen, emergencies occur, and danger comesin many forms. It pays to be prepared," CEOAlice Armitage said.

WatchMe 911 is offering a free 30-day trial toall its subscription features, including:

• MONITOR ME: A timer-activated alert thatprovides a backup plan for everyday activitieslike going for a run, meeting a stranger or ven-turing someplace unfamiliar.

• PANIC: A double tap calls 911 and sends con-tacts text and email alert messages and a map.

• I’VE ARRIVED: A convenient way for usersto let family, friends and co-workers knowthey’ve safely arrived at their destination.Sends contacts texts, emails and a map.

The app is free to download and the “Call 911Only” alert is always free. When there’s an emer-gency and seconds count, you don’t want to befumbling with a keypad. While manually calling911 takes 8 taps, it takes just two taps to activatethe Call 911 Only alert. There’s no chance ofmisdialing, and the alert screen stays lit untilyou call 911 or exit the alert mode.

Continued on page 31Photo courtesy of Ambro

L

http://www.facebook.com/wideopen

Jill Campbell and Alice Armitage didn’t get intothe world of apps with backgrounds as softwaredevelopers, venture capitalists or even websiteentrepreneurs. They didn’t create WatchMe 911 topromote an existing product or to take advantageof an emerging market. But as businesspeople, aswomen, and as mothers, they recognized the needfor a multifunctional personal protection system.When the technolo-gy caught up withthe need, WatchMe911 was launched.

A few years ago,Campbell wasadjusting to life onher own afterbecoming a widow.“You have a differentlevel of vulnerability

during times of transition,” she says today. Asprincipal of Campbell Tax & FinancialServices, she tends to the financial health ofhundreds of clients and thinks in terms of riskmanagement. It was from that perspective thatshe began to envision a background monitoringsystem which would increase her peace of mindwithout impinging on her independence.

To bring the concept to fruition, she partneredwith an attorney and client, Alice Armitage. “Theidea of a personal security system resonated imme-diately,” recalls Armitage. But getting it built wasanything but immediate.

At the time, the technology didn’t exist. With thedawning of the Age of Apps, WatchMe 911 wasready for development. At the Founder Institute,an incubator program for tech startups, Armitageconnected with a developer who began translating

into coded reality theideas she and Jill hadenvisioned. The appwas reworked, refinedand redesigned. Sixyears after Campbellfirst scribbled notesabout a personal securi-ty system, WatchMe911 is available fordownload.

As for the experience of launching a tech compa-ny, it’s been like fast-tracking an MBA, saysArmitage. But coming from a woman with a col-lection of degrees, including a BA and MA fromBrown University (earned in four years) and a JDfrom Yale (where she was Editor-in-Chief of theYale Law Journal), that means it’s been fun.

The Women Behind WatchMe 911

Jill Campbell

Alice Armitage


KetchVibewith

J U L I E D E X T E R

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Ketch a Vibe

Combine the sounds of the Caribbean Islands and the Khoomei-style of theSouth African coast with those of Afro-Beat, Soul and Bossa-Nova,and the result is the pure, graceful and simple sound of Julie Dexter.

The daughter of Jamaican parents, JulieDexter was born and raised in Birmingham,England. She was classically trained in musicand plays the clarinet and violin. Dexter wasintroduced to jazz at the University of Virginiawhere she participated in a student exchangeprogram. Upon graduation from her studies inEngland, she relocated to Atlanta, Georgia,where she was first exposed to the genre of soulmusic. Her first single based on that influencewas “Ketch a Vibe” which was released in 1999and eventually became the name of her ownrecording label. Julie released her first EP in2000 titled Peace of Mind, followed byDexterity in 2002 and Conscious in 2005. Shecollaborated with Khari Simmons to create2007’s Moon Bossa. Her single “Ketch a Vibe”was also featured in national radio ads for thenDemocratic Presidential candidate BarackObama. Her latest album, New Again, is a refreshingand inspiring album produced entirely byDexter herself and Steve “Miggedy” Maestro, aChicago DJ and producer. This album is aboutbeing renewed; its title track and Julie’sfavorite, “Rebirth,” are good examples of that.“With faith and a good foundation these keyelements can help support your rebirth and arethe keys of success,” she states. Julie is a wifeand mother of two, a six year old and an eight


http://marahunter.blogspot.com/

month old. She’s an entrepreneur in her own right. She owns her own recording label and manages her own career. Dexter’s eclectic sound comesfrom a variety of influences, from Nancy Wilson, Sade, and Bob Marley to the Beatles’ John Lennon and Paul McCarthy. “I’m all about collab-orations that make magic happen. Combinations of amazing voices and strong backdrops of the bands help create greatness and fresh, signaturesounds. Individuals like Luther Vandross, Esperanza Spalding and Omar bring a fullness of great music, message and style that just puts a smileon my face,” says Julie.

If you ask Julie Dexter what it’s like to be a singer/songwriter who owns her own recording label, she’ll tell you this: “It’s a lot of work to buildyour name, but if you don’t get up and do it, you won’t see any results. Y ou have so many choices, so sift through it all. Be clever and wise inyour decisions…and 99.99 percent of the time, you’ll make it. If you’re not willing to work, this is not the business for you.” She goes on to say, “I think the people who are most successful are the ones who dare to stand out and be different. Don’t be afraid to be your-self. Brand yourself, be a commodity to your business. Know your audience and your worth. Learn how to network and socialize.” Julie currently lives in Atlanta and is promoting her latest album with an East Coast tour. Her touring will continue in her native country ofEngland. She continually finds herself writing and perfecting her ‘Julie Dexter sound’ and has already starting working on her next album. Thismusically gifted artist is doing what she does with a freedom that flows like the waves she describes in her first hit record, “Ketch a Vibe.”To find out more on Julie Dexter and her latest tour dates, visit her website at www.JulieDexter.com

VibeKetch

Mara Hunter 32, is a multi-talented individual with the gift to create expressivepieces. This single mother of three is a native of Springfield, MA via Jacksonville,FL. She’s a Freelance Writer, Staff Music Journalist for Total Eclipse Magazine,Contributing Writer for Lioness Magazine, as well as a poet and dancer.Visit www.MaraHunter.blogspot.com

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Lioness Magazine October 2011

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