Line of Scrimmage Issue 1
Transcript of Line of Scrimmage Issue 1
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Line of ScrimmageLine of ScrimmageLine of Scrimmage
MORE TIERS FOR COMISSIONERVALISThe new Fun League Season has kicked off and, as with Fangs Heroes, with
the new season comes the new look. Commissioner Valis had this to say
What, huh the league, yes, yes Ive heard of it. Im the Commissioner yousay, oh yes, thats right, now wheres my paper, oh yes... We now have a
reasonably solid league, containing a mix of both dedicated and downright
hardcore coaches. Any new coaches will have to play in a testing ground
to determine their seriousness to compete in the league. Thatll be all. Now
wheres that pipe...
A third division, the FL Central, has developed alongside the FL North and FL South as a feeder to theOrcs Hall Conference. This means that the teams in the OHC have even more blood thirsty brutes snap-ping at their heels to pull them out of the top flight as four teams will be relegated.
Under this tier is the FL East, FL West and the new FL Core which provide the motivation for the teams inthe second tier. The Shelf continues to provide a wealth of talent to challenge the coaches in the FunLeagues and this is now to be complimented by the Testing Grounds where new blood is put to the test!Further details of the new structure can be found here.
SECOND CRACK OF THE WHIPFOR MANTICORES
The Blackspine Manticores have earned themselves the opportu-
nity to remedy the thrashing they suffered in the Far Atherlorn
Cup Final. Mistress Pain has zipped, clipped and strapped her-
self together to lead her brethren out against the Azeroth Aven-
gers in the much coveted Fun Bowl Final.
The disgrace at the hands of their fairer cousins, namely the Long Bomb Warriors was
made more excruciating by the PA playing much loathed song Never gonna give you
up to further mock the Manticores, a pain even the Mistress is unwilling to deal out.
Fashionistas and Blood Bowl fans alike are watering at the mouths in anticipation ofwhat the Mistress will be wearing to, ahem, entertain the crowds! The Final is scheduled
for evening of Sunday 11 April. Watch it or watch out!!!
FUNBOWLTROPHY
EDITION 1
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STEINAR NEEDS YOU!During his hours of respite, mad Norse monk Steinar the Thricedarnedwas visited by the Lord Nuffle who ordered his charge to deliver unto
him the history of the Fun League. Not content with spits and spats of
stats, Nuffle declared that he must have the records to identify the great-
est player to grace the Astrogranite!
Scratching his worn cranium the mad monk began to gather the statis-
tics. Persuasion, trickery bribery and good old fashioned violence were
his tools and slowly he drew the pages together. Drawing disciples in
from across the known world, Steinar is leading the statisticians and re-cordsmen together in a purge against ignorance, but he needs more
hands, paws, claws and tentacles to deliver the promise he made to Nuf-
fle.
Offer your services to the Norse monk before he slips ever further into the realms of madness!!! See
herefor further details as to how you can be of service...
COACH KRAMPUS LAYS DOWN THEGAUNTLET
Krampus, coach of last seasons runaway Orcs Hall Conference winners Salkien Kelvar, has slappedfellow OHC coaches around the chops with a statement to Cabalvision that has left his rivals openmouthed. With an arrogance most commonly heard from Oldcastles reddest Duke, the gauntlet has
well and truly been laid down.
Last night I had a meeting with the board of FunLeague CabalVision, our main broadcastingcompany and league sponsor. I have to say, they were pretty disappointed of Season 3. Our
viewing rate significantly dropped during the season. This happened because one team totally
crushed the competition and the viewers got bored of seeing their opponents running away and
crying like little girls. I therefore have some messages I would like to share with you all.
MonkeyBongos, Kianwan, KillerOrc, Fangs78, and Meltyman, we all know you won't have any
chance for winning Season 4. It however would be great, if you could at least try to give the
great Salkien Kelvar some resistance. Every expert will see from turn one how clueless you are but we might have a chanceto fool the ordinary viewers.
Giorss, nilbymouth/Dirtydancer, Geryon, and Radek, you are now playing with the pros. Your days of kindergarten bowl is
over. However, don't be too hard to yourself. Nobody expect great things from you. Believe
me though, after you loose a match it's a good feeling to know that you have tried your
best. And who knows? You might have a chance again some of our lesser coaches like Mon-
keyBongos, Kianwan, KillerOrc, Fangs78, and Meltyman.
Fellow OHC coaches are said to be fuming at this outburst. Coach KillerOrc
has vowed to not bovva wiv da ball and just smash dat gitz ead in in fu-
ture matches. Many fans are wondering how this is different from the Brew-ers usual gamestyle! Whatever the reaction is to be, Blood Bowl fans can
be sure that this is gonna be one hell of a season!!!OHC TROPHY
COACH KRAMPUS
FUN LEAGUE ARCHIVES
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RED DUKEGANG BANG BALL LAUNCHEDThe inaugural Red Duke Gang Bang Ball has been launched in the city of Oldcastle and has captured
the imagination of the locals and Colleges of Magic alike. Launched to a, ahem, fanfare by the Red
Duke himself, the competition pits 42 teams vying for the Dukes favour. Teams are randomly as-
signed 7 matches against each other with the winner of each Group, plus a Wild Card Team selected byhis grace, progressing to a straight knockout for the Trophy and a chance to compete in the Roze-El
Bowl finals. Further info on the Red Duke Gang Bang Ball can be found HERE.
MEET THE STARS...MylmwinRookie Wardancer of the Whispers on the Wind has made a dramaticimpact on the Gang Bang Ball! She currently leads the TouchdownsScored (5), Catches (3) and Yards Rushed (112) charts. Mylmwin cut her
perfect teeth in the Oakwood Leafball League. For those not in theknow, the OLL is a Wood Elf only league that takes place high in the Oak-
wood canopy with the players skipping from branch to branchwith the ball. The high octane and adrenaline game has honed thefleet-footed skills of Mylmwin almost to perfection.
The doubters questioned her ability to handle the more physical na-ture of Blood Bowl in the Fun Tourneys following her conversionto the land based sport. The doubters, however, are still waiting forthat point to be proved as Whispers have yet to face a non Wood Elfteam!!!
Blessed with extraordinary good looks, Mylmwin has supple-
mented her Whispers salary with a not inconsiderable sponsorship
with Chanelf and LOre-elf. The exposure brought by these lucrativedeals have made many a Blood Bowl player and fan alike look tofind out whether shes worth it...
TALE OF THE TAPEALE OF THE TAPEALE OF THE TAPEGames Played: 2
Touchdowns: 5
Passing Yards: 0
Rushing Yards: 112
Catches: 3
CAS: 0
Kills 0
Kos 1
Interceptions: 0
MVP: 0
Sponsorships: 2 (Chanelf, LOre-elf)
GROUP A GROUP B GROUP C GROUP D GROUP E GROUP F GROUP G
Green Onions The Tainted
Blade
New World Vi-
pers
13 Twisted Ter-
rors
Hells Device The Fey Avengers Naggaroth Knives
Midnight Stalkers Love-Bugs Deadly Horns Stinky Fish Orcymost The Bang Gang Gangfoul T16
Da Wreckin
Krew
Nuln Kultists Curious Orca Reckless Love Horned Warriors The Girlie Soft Witching Hour
Tigers Trans-
gressions
Under Empire All
Stars
Wisconsins Fin-
est Rats
Jurassic Pork
Chaps
The good names
were taken
Unnamed Team Webway Harle-
quins
Ptolemy Phan-
toms
Speed Daemons Slaaneshs Love-
toys
Cavendish Con-
victs
Snikchs Death-
squad
Crimson Plunder-
ers
Millstone
Whispers on the
Wind
Deathroller Disci-
ples
Paparazzi Wores
Zhaos Mo-
torsport 2.0
13 Flavours of
Rhetorical
Angry Vomit
Weiszburg Ra-
vens
MylmwinWardancer
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Underneath the WAAAGH Arena in the poorly lit, dank and stankdungeon room, CabalVision Reporters await the Warz BoyzSpokesOrc to talk about the recent match. From the tunnelleading into the dungeon, loud echoing footsteps are heard, notclose to being washed out by the 27,000 fans still cheering in thearena, and what sounds like a snorting wargpig. The largeshadow cast over the reporters could only m ean a Black Orc. TheMVP of the Match, Grubnash Smash'Eadz ermerges... . .Grubnash -- Shudduup!! N lisun up! Da Boss says I wuz chozen as daMVP anda gotsa talk to yuz.
Reporter #3 -- Great game today, Grubnash. Well deserved as the MVP.You were really smashing the chaos around, and even sent offGnar'nogor with what we now know to be a pinched nerve.
Grubnash -- Ya da boss sez smashum up, so Grubnash smashem up.Reporter #6 -- So looks like the new rookie Grikk contributed today
with the matches 1st score, I bet the team was excited for him.
Grubnash -- I wuz ta bizzy smashen eadz. I did not see him score. Daboss told Grikk he had ta prove himself worthy ta play an he had toplay da ball. Da boss says he may not be worthless after all.
topReporter #1 -- Speaking of The Boss, Warz Gutripper had himself a Casu- alty and the match
winning touchdown. Is he trying to set the example on how the team is to play this season?
Grubnash -- Da Boss was furious dat da sponsors brought inda Varag Ghoul-Chewer. Afta Varag took out Belmoth Dha Ghur(chaos warrior), da boss went and took out Starclap Rustlust (chaos warrior). But da boss showed da sponsors when Varagfell down tryin ta blitz La-nogors on da goal-line and stop da chaos from winning, that he wuz da superior Orc. Tuff-
Takk defended himself from La-nogors block, ko'ing him scooping up da ball and tossin it to da boss and da boss wouldrun and bash his way to da match winning touchdown.
Reporter #3The Khillers Monotuar didn't seem to be much of a problem for you, how did you manage to "tame" him.Grubnash -- We bashed his 'Ead.Reporter #2 Right you did! Guggask even kicked him in the horns when he was down. Hit him so hard his armor shat-
tered. Too Bad the Khillers Apo fixed him right up, he was back in the 2nd half, but had no impact on the game at all. Youdid seem to have a bit of trouble containing the Khillers pasing game in the 1st half. Laly Tusk was able to hit Yel'Fagor
with a pass that put him outta reach ofyour defense. They kinda got behind ya andscored.
Grubnash -- Did not see it. Too busy bustin'Eadz Yuz all SHUDDUP now no mo ques-
tions.
Grubnash leaves back down the tunneland disappears into the caverns beneaththe Waaagh Aren a....WARZ BOYZ 2-1 KHORN ES KHILLERS
WARZ BOYS TAME KILLERS
17/1GREENSQUAREBETTINGOHC2010.2CHAMPIONS
ODDSSalkienKelvar-3/1
VerminusVivax-6/1
WorldofBoo-7/1
DungpileScavengers7/1
DaReserves-10/1
KillerOrc-10/1FangsHeroes-11/1
MumsDarrlings-15/1
BohemianOrcBrewers-17/1
GREEN
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TEAMPROFILE:TEAMPROFILE:TEAMPROFILE:
KILLERQUEEN ... SLAIN
Legendary basher Camilla Ander-
sen of the Danish Iron Ladies mether match during her debut Fun-
gusliga North match against the
Heralds of Change.
Veteran Herald and fan favour-
ite, Aroo Howlmoon, has a
whopping 20 matches under his
belt and he put every minute of that
experience to good use when he
ripped into the Iron Ladies Iron
Lady! The Wardancer had
stormed the Bongos CAS and
Kills charts. A run that lead toa nomination for a Personality
of the Season Award. Should
she win it, her die hardfans will
be hoping for a Necromancer to give
provide the kiss of life!
Howlmoon was unavailable to com-
ment on the incident following the
match as he was hungrily tucking in
to a leg contained in a suspiciously
familiar looking knee high leather
boot...
CAMILLA
ANDERSEN
Kills2
CAS20
Kos23
SPP58
KILLAArooHowlmoonHeraldsofChange
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