Limsky By Patrick Scott

5

6

8

12

16

20

Chapter 1: I am Charles Limsky

Chapter 2: Another Day

Chapter 3: Family & Friends

Chapter 4: Exhausted

Chapter 5: Luxury of Time

Chapter 6: Changes

Chapter 7: Leaving JCRS

Chapter 8: On My Own

Chapter 9: Inhuman Way

24

30

32

5

Chapter One

You know that kid that got picked on when

he was in school. The one who got laughed

at and abused every step he took. I wish I

was that kid. When people think back to their

school days they will remember that kid. When

my classmates try and think about me I will

be at best a muddled blur. I was just another

face in the crowd, no friends and not even any

enemies. I was nothing, I came and went like

a breeze and no one noticed I was even there.

This did not end in my school days I carried

this mentality through almost the entirety of

my life. I am a 43 year old man and outside of

my immediately family I still have not had a

close relationship with another human being.

That being said I am not even close to my

close family. My mother is dead and I see my

I am Charles Limsky

Father and two brothers only a couple of times

a week. I am still a lonely and nameless face

in a crowd. This is my life and now that I am

43 years old I wonder if this will ever change.

My name is Charles Limsky. two brothers only

a couple of times a week. I am still a lonely

and nameless face in a crowd. This is my life

and now that I am 43 years old I wonder if this

will ever change. My name is Charles Limsky.

two brothers only a couple of times a week. I

am still a lonely and nameless face in a crowd.

This is my life and now that I am 43 years old

I wonder if this will ever change. My name is

Charles Limsky. two brothers only a couple of

times a week. I am still a lonely and name

less face in a crowd. This is my life and now

that I am 43 years old I wonder if this will ever

change. My name is Charles Limsky.

Chapter Two

6

Today is another day in my life. I wake, I do

the basic routine and read a bit before I go to

work. I enjoy books because the characters in

them are the opposite of me. They go on grand

adventures and take risks and I never do that.

I go about my standard routine and rarely ever

go astray from that it. My routine starts in the

morning with eggs and toast for breakfast

followed by me reading my book until it is

time for me to go to work. My work place is a

market near downtown. After work I go home

eat dinner and then read my book some more. I

usually wrap up in a blanket because the place

I live is a bit chilly. Around nine o’clock I go to

bed so I can be well rested for the next day. It

seems like a boring day but I can’t handle too

much excitement because my health in recent

years has no not been at its best. Nothing too

bad just little nagging illnesses that I’ve had

for awhile now. At least it hasn’t gotten to the

point were it is effecting by job at the market.

The market that I work at is quite busy. I am

the only person who takes care of the fruit at

the market. I make sure bruised or rotten fruit

get off displays and dispose of them properly. It

is a mundane job but I take pride in what I do.

The most exciting parts of my day take part at

the market. There was one time when this one

man was not paying attention to what he was

doing and he knocked over an entire table of

apples. I spent probably 30 minutes crawling

around looking for all the individual apples.

I was a pretty interesting day and it was a

Another Day

Chapter Two

good change of pace from the typical. I

had a surprisingly amount of fun crawling

all over the place that day. I don’t talk to

any of other people at the market. Even

though I’ve been working there for some

time now. This doesn’t surprise me it is

just the way things go in my life. Several

months ago I wasn’t feeling well and I

showed up two hours late for my shift and

no one noticed. I was both relived and

embarrassed. I’m such a specter at that

place that not a single person recognized

I was so late. Its a weird feeling walking

around hoping so badly to be scolded, just

so I could feel like somebody noticed me.

8

Chapter Three

The other big part of my life is my family.

Although I don’t see them very often because

of the vacant nature of my life they comprise

a majority of my interactions. My mother died

some time ago. Our family was hit hard by her

death although her relationship with her family

wasn’t the normal kind of relationship. If I had

to say were my loner tendecies came from I

would definitely point a finger at my mother.

She would stay hope and do the standard wife

duties and did not have any life outside of

her children. Thats the way she wanted it to.

She didn’t want to be the center of attention,

she didn’t want to near anyone besides her

family. Much of her life her eyes were directted

to the ground. She was calm and loving. Her

antisocial nature didn’t hurt her abilty to be

a mother. She was a great mother. She made

sure we were fed and happy. She was always

with us and in doing so she pasted along all

the bad characteristics. She was the one who

showed me to be quiet and not the stand out.

My father was not like my mother and I. He

was much more outgoing and confident. Don’t

get me wrong my father was no captain of

the football team but relative to me he was

the captain of the football team. He did bring

home the bacon and he loved providing for his

family. But he was also a very non-affectionate

man. He loved his kids but he left the job of

raising us to my mother. It was weird how my

parents were so polar opposites but somehow

fell in love. My family was a well oiled machine

until my mother died. She was certainly the

Family & Friends

9

Chapter Three

most quiet part of our family but once she was

gone it became evident that she was by far the

most vital part. Once my father was the only

adult around I receded even farther into my

lonely world. My brothers didnt have as rough

a time because they are more like my father.

They enjoyed the freedom of having only one

parent. I suffered cause I needed the nurturing

that my mother gave me when she was alive.

My current relationship with my family is not

much different then how the relationship was

when I was a child. My brothers hardly bother

with me and my father puts in his time but it

always it feels like it does it just because he

feels obligated. He talks at me about my health

and some of my nagging illnesses but I hardly

ever give that any mind. My brothers do the

same but the their tone is much more hostile.

They have always been that way. They are big,

loud, and opinionated. What my father is to

my mother my brothers are to me. They have

families and wives and seem to think I am

incredibly dysfunctional because I do not have

the same. And maybe they’re not wrong.

The other big part of my life is my family.

Although I don’t see them very often because

of the vacant nature of my life they comprise

a majority of my interactions. My mother died

some time ago. Our family was hit hard by her

death although her relationship with her family

wasn’t the normal kind of relationship. If I had

to say were my loner tendecies came from I

would definitely point a finger at my mother.

10

Chapter Three

She would stay hope and do the standard wife

duties and did not have any life outside of

her children. Thats the way she wanted it to.

She didn’t want to be the center of attention,

she didn’t want to near anyone besides her

family. Much of her life her eyes were directted

to the ground. She was calm and loving. Her

antisocial nature didn’t hurt her abilty to be

a mother. She was a great mother. She made

sure we were fed and happy. She was always

with us and in doing so she pasted along all

the bad characteristics. She was the one who

showed me to be quiet and not the stand out.

My father was not like my mother and I. He

was much more outgoing and confident. Don’t

get me wrong my father was no captain of

the football team but relative to me he was

the captain of the football team. He did bring

home the bacon and he loved providing for his

family. But he was also a very non-affectionate

man. He loved his kids but he left the job of

raising us to my mother. It was weird how my

parents were so polar opposites but somehow

fell in love. My family was a well oiled machine

until my mother died. She was certainly the

most quiet part of our family but once she was

gone it became evident that she was by far the

most vital part. Once my father was the only

adult around I receded even farther into my

lonely world. My brothers didnt have as rough

a time because they are more like my father.

They enjoyed the freedom of having only one

parent. I suffered cause I needed the nurturing

that my mother gave me when she was alive.

Chapter Three

My current relationship with my family is

not much different then how the

relationship was when I was a child. My

brothers hardly bother with me and my

father puts in his time but it always it

feels like it does it just because he feels

obligated. He talks at me about my

health and some of my nagging illnesses

but I hardly ever give that any mind. My

brothers do the same but the their tone is

much more hostile. They have always been

that way. They are big, loud, and opinion-

ated. What my father is to my mother my

brothers are to me. They have families and

wives and seem to think I am incredibly

dysfunctional because I do not have the

same. And maybe they’re not wrong.

12

Chapter Four

Today is not just another day in my life. I

was greatly harder getting up this morning.

I seemed to be drain of all my energy. It has

been harder and harder lately but today it

seems nearly impossible. It took me so long

to get and of bed I didn’t have my regular

breakfast and had no time to read my book. I

was late for work but that didn’t matter cause

who would even notice after all. Normally my

walk to work only took around 15 minutes but

today it seemed to take forever and when I

got there it took my 20 more minutes than it

usually does. I’m not feeling right. One of my

other nagging illnesses was a cough. A cough

that was steadily getting worse. My father had

told me it was much worse when I saw him

two days ago. He didn’t need to tell me I knew

it was getting more frequent. In fact when I

saw him I was doing my best to not cough so

he would not give me a lector. As soon as I left

the coughing began again, it was awful. I know

I joke about not listening to my family but I

couldn’t help but think I should have listen to

their advice. Its weird that even a humble guy

like me can be the victim of his own pride. My

cough was now happening so often and was

so violent that my usual status of invisible man

could not even maintain. Everyone was looking

at me and I knew it. It was a position I had

never been in before. It was kind of thrilling

have all this attention and people asking me

if I was fine. It went on like this all day long. I

was so relieved when I was finally able to leave

because I was exhausted. The walk home was

Exhausted

13

Chapter Four

a harsh trek and it even took me longer than

the walk in morning. Something wasn’t right.

I went home and crashed in my bed. I was so

happy to get to that bed. I’m so tired I don’t

know if I will ever get out of this bed.

I can’t get out of bed today. I’m weak. I can’t

move and I can’t stop coughing. I think I’m

dying. Its frightening to be this ill and even

worse that I have no one to help me because

of my life of self imposed exile. I need my get

to my father’s house. I will make it but I will

probably have to take breaks along the way

because I am so very weak. After getting my

clothes on, which was a surprisingly difficult

task, I starting making my way to my father’s

house. I know I needed the help but their was

something inside of me that didn’t want to go

to my father’s for help just because I when I

got there he would be proven right. But I was

in a bad state so it ultimately my well being is

more important. I didn’t know what to expect

when I got there. The proper reaction to me

would be concern. But my father was not that

kind of guy. I never say him cry I had never

even hugged my father. He was incapable of

ay sort compassion. His philosophy was always

to keep a stiff upper lip and not show any

emotion. This sickness had me fearing for my

life but It did have its positive points. I did get

a lot of attention and concern from strangers

and work which would never normally happen.

And now I have the possibility of seeing my

father show some actual emotion towards me.

14

Chapter Four

I finally make it to my father’s front door and

I make my into his house. How is he going to

react? I stumble around looking for him but he

is no where to be found. I make my way into

his living room and pass out on his couch. He

wasn’t home and I didn’t get to see his reac-

tion to my condition.

I wake up several hours later in my father’s

bed. I’m covered with blankets and me he

has obviously taken good care of me. I see

my father peek his head in and ask how I was

doing. Even though I wasn’t able to see him

taking care of me I knew he must have. Even

though I couldn’t stop coughing, I was freezing

cold, sweating, and didn’t have the strength to

myself out of bed; I was happy to know that

even though he rarely showed it my father did

love. He must have walked seen me and the

state I was in and felt the need to make me as

comfortable as I could be. I thought I had only

been asleep for a couple of hours but it turns

out I was asleep for nearly a whole day. I guess

the voyage to his house must have taken more

out of me then I had thought. I was scared

because I was coughing constantly and even

though I had been sleeping for a long period of

time I was still weak. My father had already set

an appointment at a local doctor’s office so we

could figure this out. I was scared I absolutly

needed to know what was wrong with me

but I was so scared to go to the doctor. There

was obviously something wrong but we didn’t

know what. What if it is something horrible

and I am doomed. I guess I have to face it soon because I don’t have the luxury of of time.

16

Chapter Five

I’ve been worried about going to the doctor

today. I’ve been at my father’s house for a

couple of days now and I haven’t gotten any

better but I also haven’t gotten any worse.

Once we get to the doctor’s office we sit and

wait for our turn with the doctor. I’m trying not

to cough but I can’t help it. The others waiting

to be seen are rightfully scared to be near me.

I’m pale, skinny, and coughing uncontrollably I

don’t blame them for being leery. I gain control

as much as I can over my coughing but it still

is unnerving to the other patients. As I stare at

the other patients I wonder why are they here?

Are they sick like me? Are they as worried for

their lives as I am for mine? I don’t think so.

Their only great concern is with me and not

with what ever ales them. Sure they are in the

best of health either but they certainly would

not trade places with me. Sitting and waiting

for the enviable bad news that waits for me

in the doctor’s room is unbearable. After a

all too long wait I get called back. The doctor

brings me into their room and run through the

standard procedure, like checking my ears and

throat. This is so frustrating. I am knocking on

heaven’s door and this guy is looking at my

ears. As I’m telling him my symptoms he seems

to be almost uninterested in what I have to

say. He hears that I have stopped talking and

tells me that he is going to take an x-ray of my

chest to see if we can see what is calling my

horrible coughing. He leaves and ten minutes

later a nurse comes and prepares me for my

x-rays. This nurse is much more caring than

Luxury of Time

17

Chapter Five

the doctor. The doctor is like my father and

this nurse reminds me of my mother. As she is

leading to the room I think about my life. How

I hid from people and missed out on some of

the most important things that life has to offer.

If this x-ray showed I was doomed, what would

I do? If I were to die who besides my father

and brother would be at my funeral. I can’t

think of a single soul. I’ve lived a life were I

have touched on other’s life. If this illness kills

me there would be no one to remember me it

would be like I never even existed. I was scared

but now I’m only depressed. As I lay down my

mind continues to search for a person that is in

any way different because I had existed. I can’t

think of any. Maybe I helped out someone

at the market pick out fruit and they would

remember me for that. No, they wouldn’t I

have touched any one. The x-ray begins and I

give up. I give up trying to think of someone

and I give up on myself all together. I’m an old

man and I have failed at every major goal a

man my age should have. After the x-ray I sit

and wait for the results. I’m resined to the fact

that I have something bad with me. The doctor

walks into the room very somberly. I know

what he is going to say. I’m not even listening.

He keeps going on and on but I don’t hear him.

I already know I’m sick and dying I don’t need

to know exactly why.

We left the doctor’s and my father told me it

was tuberculosis. I didn’t care. I am trying to

wrap me head around the fact that I have for

18

Chapter Five

the most part wasted my life. I can see that my

father actually affected my this situation. Its

so weird seeing him this way. He isn’t crying

or anything but he is obviously taking this

the hard. I gotten say it is great to see him

this way. Once I get home I’m going to get lay

down and prepare to be there for awhile. My

father had been sleeping on the couch since

I had gotten there and it looks like he will be

sleeping there for the foreseeable future. Walk-

ing into the house which again was quite the

chore because of my condition. I don’t know

what is going to happen next. I don’t know if

anything will happen next, I am wondering

if this is the last thing to happen to me.

For the next weeks I was in my father’s bed

and he was on the couch. I didn’t know that

the whole time my father and brother were

sending me out applications to places that

specialize in taking care of people like me. My

condition was so much worse now. It was clear

that I was no longer just sick, I was dying. I

was was completely bedridden at this point

and the tuberculosis clinics were my only hope.

My father had been sending letters to the head

of a tuberculosis clinic in Spivak Colorado.

He was hoping I could forgo the standard

applicant process and be rushed into the clinic

as an emergency case. He was sending letters

telling them about my state and he was getting

replies. I was getting worse and if my father’s

letter writing campaign didn’t work I will not

have much hope of living through this.

20

Chapter Six

Today is just another day in the new routine of

my life. I don’t read my books anymore, and I

don’t go to work either. really the only thing I

do is lay in bed and cough. That is all I can do

since the tuberculosis is really having it way

with me. When my father is busy my brothers

take care of me. My situation has melted my

father’s hard exterior a bit but my brothers are

still as cold as ever. They take care of me but

it seems that I am just a burden to them. They

are taking care of me out of obligation rather

out of love. This can’t go on for much longer

and I don’t think I can survive for more than

a couple more weeks. When my father finally

gets back he has good news for me. He had to

wake up me up but once he did he told me that

the JCRS was rushing me in the and was going

to help me get better. JCRS was the tuberculo-

sis clinic he had been writing to for sometime

now and he finally convinced them I was sick

enough that I needed to rushed into care there.

So with the help of my brother, my father got

me ready to head there. It laid down in the

car and was looking in the sky as we drove to

Spivak Colorado. I just watched the clouds go

by. I was still in horrible condition but since I

was going to JCRS I was sure everything would

be fine. So i could now lay down and enjoy the

clouds stream by over head. I knew in my heart

of hearts that going to JCRS doesn’t mean I

out of the woods yet but I don feel like I have

been given another opportunity to survive this

disease. Today is my first day at JCRS. arriving

here was interesting, this place is in the middle

Changes

21

Chapter Six

of on where. We where driving up a long road

an then all of a sudden there was a large gate-

way and I assumed that was were we were

going and I was right. There is usually a very

specific list of procedures that each incoming

patient goes through but I was in such bad

shape that they didn’t bother with that at all.

I’ve only been here for a day but I feel so much

better already. The staff told my family that I

was one of the worse cases they had seen in

a long time. This place has saved my life and

I’m happy to be here I’m just wondering if this

place will become just another place where I

become another nameless face in the crowd.

I haven’t had many interactions with other

people here yet. I had a nurse ask me some

basic intake questions but that was about it. I

bet this place is really melancholy and depress-

ing so I wouldn’t imagine there would be al lot

of social interaction going on.

My first several days here at the clinic have

been uneventful. I isn’t hard to believe because

I have been in bed for the vast majority of the

time. I am doing so much better since I got

here. I’ve gone from being horrible sick to just

being sick. Which means I still not well but I

am functioning half normal at this point. I can’t

imagine going back to work or anything but

relative to how I was feeling before I am doing

far better. The nurse who had been taking care

of me is nice and tries to start conversations

with me from time to time but my old tenden-

cies start rearing it head and I find myself with

little to say. It is so discouraging that even

Chapter Seven

after seeing how I wasted my life before

my health scare that I continue to do the

same things over and over again. I guess

I’m going to be just as anonymous here as

I was every where else in my life. But again

the attention my health affords me is great.

They bring every meal to my bed and make

sure I’m totally comfortable at all times.

Yet another silver lining is the illness that

very well might have killed me, and the

probably has a good chance at doing so

still. I’m going to try hard to remember the

feeling I had when I was sure I was going to

die from this illness and maybe put myself

out there more often. This new embolden

attitude might me another up side. Seeing

what I have been before this will hopefully

change me for the better.

24

Chapter Seven

I have now been here at the clinic for several

weeks and I am no longer bedridden. I’m

certainly no spring chicken but I have again

improve another drastic step. My coughing is

still bad but I is far less frequent then before.

I’m sticking to my routine of being a loner

but I need to make an attempt to come out

of my shell. I will start with connecting with

my people who are paid to be nice to me, I

will make friends with the nurses. You need

to crawl before you can walk as the saying

goes. The nurse walks in to bring me my lunch

and I decide that I need to try and talk to her

a bit. She brings the tray over and is setting

everything up and I’m in my head freaking out.

I don’t know what to say and this is my only

chance. I guess I will just blurt out something.

A “how are you?” should work. She smiles and

responds and I respond back. It is working. Oh

no now she is just standing there what should I

say now. I have nothing left to say. This is kind

of awkward I should have never have done

this. She is turing and leaving now so at least

this horrible interaction is over. I kind of regret

that now. Holy cow I am so socially inept that

I can even carry on a simple conversation with

out it being weird. At least I get an A for effort

on this one. Before this I would have never

even tried something like that so at least I am

making steps forward.

It was kind of strange I was the only patient

in my room for the longest period of time. No

one came or went and i they did come they

Leaving JCRS

25

Chapter Seven

were in worse shape then I am. They were

in the kind of shape I was in when I got to

the clinic. I think that the room i am in is for

patients with severe conditions. If I’m going

to meet any people besides nurses I need to

get out of this part of the clinic and into a part

with people who are capable of interacting.

The nurse will be here any time now to check

in on me and I will ask her about being moved

to another section of the clinic. There she is

right now. I hope this conversation goes a little

more smoothly then the last one. This time

she seems surprised that I talked to her. After I

ask her she say that she will look into getting

me into a more general patient area. I’m kind

of second guessing my decision to get more

time with other people even now right after I

have asked the nurse. But putting my self into

uncomfortable scenarios is what I need to do

right now. I am feeling greatly improved as

far as my health goes. My body seems to be

stabilizing although my lungs still seem to be

having trouble. My coughing is less often but

sometimes it seems when I do cough it is more

violent. That is not my worry right now. It is the

nurses job to worry. The only thing on my mind

needs to making up for years of hiding out and

talking to people. If the nurses convinces who

ever is in charge that I need to be moved that

would be perfect. I am ready.

Today is a great day for me. They have decided

that moving in with the healthier patients

would be ok and now I don’t have to be so

26

Chapter Seven

lonely in the section of the clinic were all the

emergency cases are. They put me next to this

guy who is very talkative. He makes all the

nurses laugh and all the other patients in the

room know his name. It is crazy. I have been

surround by people who are near death and

had no idea that there were patients like this

here. I thought everyone was as sick and quiet

as I am. It turns out I was just in the wrong

part of the hospital. It really shocks me when

this guy who is so full of life and has everyone

eating out of the palm of his hand address me.

He calls me guy since he does not know my

name. I am so intimidated. I can’t hold a con-

versation with this guy his social skills are way

out of my league. For some reason they guy

has taken a specific interest in me and would

let me hide like I want to, he just keeps asking

me questions. One after another he keeps the

questions coming. Before I know it we are hav-

ing a full on conversation from our respective

beds. The only thing that stops our talking is

both of our coughing. This is crazy this guy’s

cool must be rubbing off on me. I ask him what

is name is and he says “ Steve Baum”.

I have been in the same room as Steve for

some time and now and he is having a great

effect on me. Talking to him makes me more

confident and has changed they way I interact

with everyone. I have talked to a handful

of other patients besides him. I quite a bit

easier than I had imagined since we all have

tuberculosis in common. I’m also talking to the

27

Chapter Seven

nurse too now I’m talking to everyone. Steve

Baum has shaken me out of my shell and now

I’m doing what I should have been doing my

entire life. I can’t escape it, tuberculosis might

be the best thing that has ever happen to. I’m

taking risks and doing things I would usually.

This place has been great for me. I’m feeling

well enough now the nurses and doctors are

doing a great job. I’m flourishing in this place. I

am no longer another faceless man in a crowd.

I am making friends here.

Now when the nurse brings my lunch in

we have a good conversation. I know other

patients and they know me. It’s great. Thank

goodness I was put next to Steve Baum and

he helped me out. I haven’t gotten any letter

or message of any sort from my father though.

I was so busy being here in JCRS and I have

forgotten all about my like back home. I rarely

think think of my father and a never think

of my brothers and my job. I have mentally

abandoned that part of my life. Can you blame

me it is so much better here. At JCRS I’m a

person and at home I’m a burden. At JCRS I

have friends and at home I’m a loner. At JCRS

I take risks and at home I hardly ever break

from my mundane routine. I feel slightly guilty

but then again I don’t. The staff and patients at

JCRS embrace me. They have become more of a

family then my actual family has ever been.

Today is another day at JCRS. I say hi to every-

one and the day is going great. Though some

28

Chapter Seven

how it seemed a little different today.uI was

distraught. I had made so many strides during

my time at JCRS and now I was going to be

thrown back into a world were I was nothing

special. In fact I was nothing out in the world

outside of JCRS. I was lead back to my room

and I didn’t talk to any one. I had little time left

at JCRS. They have given me a specific date

when they are going to release me. I have no

idea what i am going to after they let me go.

There is no way I am going back to my old life.

My old life was pointless and I didn’t want to

go back to that. I didn’t want to go back to old

life of loneliness and being a burden. When I

sent a letter to my father I and told him I didn’t

have tuberculosis I could sense the indiffer-

ence. He was just happy to know not an more

of his money would be going to clinic. I don’t

want to be there. I don’t belong there, I can’t

go back to that. My job is no better and even

though I don’t have tuberculosis I still am sick

and working is out of the picture. I have no

where to go. Today is my my last day at the

clinic. I’m saying goodbye to everyone and it

isn’t easy. I really loved this place. This place

help be a better person I don’t know anyone

outside of these walls. The last person I talk to

is Steve. He holds a special place in my heart

because he is the one who helped me out.

He is the one who helped me see the light.

After that I and my few belongings are out on

Coflax Street right next to the giant gateway

that had greeted my upon my arrival at JCRS. I

was alone. I had a choice to make should I go

Chapter Seven

back to the horrible life I had at home and

go back to being lonely. I don’t enough

think my family wants me back home I

sent a letter asking for money to get back

home and I got nothing. I think they might

have decided to forgot about me. I can’t

blame them at all, I want to forget the

person they knew as well. I don’t want

to do that. I want to be in the clinic with

all my new friends were I can be myself. I

can’t be myself any where else now. That

was the only place I could be myself and

I can never go back into that place. I will

try and start a new life up here in Denver.

Hopefully some of that magic from the

clinic is still on me. But I doubt it, I need

this place.

30

Chapter Eight

I have been looking for a job for a

couple of days now and no luck. My

health is not well enough to perform

most jobs. I have had to resort to

collecting trash and well sell ing it the

this guy on Colfax. I brought him a ton

of trash and all he gave me was fifteen

dollars. There was so much trash there I

should have gotten like $40. That damn

guy owes me money. That was the only

way I could find to make money out

here. I have no friends and I don’t want to go back to my family and my old life. And it seems all too clear that

they don’t want me back either. They’re

replying to any of my letters and they

have never talked to me in any way since

On My Own

I have gotten to the clinic. I didn’t notice

while I was in the clinic because I was so

very content in there that I never even

thought of home. And it seems that home never even thought about me. I want

to make Denver work but with my health

I don’t see anything happening too soon.

I stuck in this town with no money and

no friends. I have felt lonely my entire life but I have never felt lonelier than I do right now. Be-

fore I came to the clinic I was so scared

that I had wasted my life and now that I

can never go back to the clinic it seems

I have no more hope. I might never be

Chapter Eight

happy. I can’t talk people out in the real

world, it just doesn’t work.

My final chance at being happy was at that place and now it seems I have no chance at every being happy. I d o n ’ t

k n o w w h a t I a m g o i n g t o d o . I

d o n ’ t k n o w i f I w a n t t o l i v e a n y

m o r e . L i v i n g a n o t h e r t e n y e a r s

l i k e t h e w a y I h a v e l i v e d t h e

f i r s t 4 3 w o u l d b e p o i n t l e s s . I

n e e d t o f i g u r e o u t w h a t I ’ m

g o i n g t o d o w i t h m y l i f e .

Chapter Nine

Charles Limsky, who came here

recently From Colorado Springs

ended his life early today in his

room at the Windsor Hotel. 18th and

Larimer street. Limsky, police

determined from letters found in his

possession, was a healthseeker.

Frank Williams at the hotel

discovered the body at 7:30am.

Limsky had shot himself thru the

head. But the report was unheard by

others in the hotel. Deputy Coroner

George Bostwick pronouced the

case a suicide and removed the

body to the county morgue. Limsky

Healthseeker Kills Self In Downtown Hotel

had lived in Colorado for the past 20

years. According to Coroner Bostwick

despondency over il l health and lack

of funds is believed to have been

Limsky’s motive. A letter found in the

room indicates Limsky left the Jewish

home for consumptives at Edgewater.

Hotel employees at the Windsor hotel

said today that they knew nothing

about Limsky, who registered there at

3:00 yesterday afternoon.

The following note found in the room

was written in Hebrew. It starts with

a quotation from the Talmud, the

Jewish Bible and reads as follows:

“He who saves one life is considered

as if he had preseverd the whole world.”

Therefore, I want to create a world by

commiting suicide. I want to thank Dr.

Spivak and all others who were so kind to

me while I was at the Jewish Relief

Society. There is a junk dealer in West

Colfax who owes me $35. This is to

be added to my estate. I have a trunk

and two grips and as I die in an inhuman way I want to be diposed

in an inhuman way by having my body

and the trunk and the two grips burned. I

have an insurance policy for $1,000 which

I want to pay my funeral expenses and all

other indebtedness. I want the balance to

go to Dr. Spivak and his friends.

“Wishing all good health, good luck & best wishes, I remain, affectionatly.

Charles Limsky