'Life Around Us' poetry eBook

8/14/2019 'Life Around Us' poetry eBook

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Life Around Us

By Emma Sharn


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Preface

Our daily lives mean something different to everyone.

Poem Page

Nice Bath 4

Holiday 5Brain Food 6Potter About 7

Choking 8Spectacles 9

House Sharing 10Burnout 11

Sum Story 12Poet 13

Charity Case 14Unwanted Gift 15

No Money 16Customer Feedback 17Indian Restaurant 18

Poison Pie Lady 19Pub Owner 20Cathedral 21


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copyright@emmasharn2009

Tour Guide 22Shame On You 23

Party On 24Phone Manner 25The Queen Bee 26

Persuasion 27Scrounger 28

Intimidation 29Being Stared At 30

Weirdo 31Oh God 32

Are We There Yet? 33


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Nice Bath

Oh what a bath, it feels so nice, I could nearly take one twice.

Even though I do not stink, I soak my skin until its pink.

As I lay back with a sigh, I never want to say goodbye.

Now I hyperventilate, with the moisture its too late.

I huff and puff and get out fast, already too much time has passed.


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Holiday

My holiday at last is here,

and its well overdue.

I cant wait to rest and play,

and see the sky is blue.

The sea and sand is close at hand,

so welcome, oh its true.

I get a chance to take a glance

at beauty, fresh and new.


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Brain Food

Food is so essential, its a recipe for health,

if your brain is happy, then that truly is your wealth.

Food is really something you must take the time to learn,

if you dont, youll get tired, and brain cells you will burn!


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Potter About

I love to potter about, a hobby I cant live without.

It comes naturally to me, and when I do it, I feel free.

To shape and mould and bake, exciting things I make.

So proud am I to be, the Queen of Pottery.


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Choking

Smokings really not a joke,

it makes it hard to breathe, I choke.

It really stinks so bad in here,

its taking ages just to clear.

Until then I shed a tear,

and for my stinging eyes I fear.


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Spectacles

My glasses are spectacular, dont you think?

Before I got them, I couldnt see a wink. It made me start to wonder, how they ever got invented

by some poor sod who couldnt see, and that drove him demented. So he stared in sorrow at his glass cup in the morning,

held it up into the light, as he screamed out a warning,I am gonna throw this, I am sick of being blind!

and hesitated just as it had crossed his clever mind,

that this glass was the cure for sight,the technique he must find.


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House Sharing

Sharing a house is a nightmare for me,I am lacking my own privacy.

The landlord has taken us all for fools,

he never mentioned the thin paper walls.Im sharing with strangers who I cannot stand,

they seem to consume every part of the land.Noisy at night, and even in bed,

hearing them doing whats private instead.

Even the bathroom we all have to share,

if someone farted, then you should beware.As for the kitchen, its so hard to cook,

its tiny and cluttered and dirty, just look. Our wonderful landlord has just raised the rent,

asking for wages I already spent.

Having my own place is vital to me,is it too much to ask to keep my sanity?


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Burnout

I am burning out, and now I want to scream and shout.

Im performing miracles that I can do without,

I wish that I never had to go running about.

I am not that powerful, Im just a human being,

theyll never be completed, there are always more Im seeing.

I dont have the energy for all these jobs at once,

I am just so tired, all Im hearing are my grunts.

I wish I was brainless, I could make out Im a dunce,

so nothing is required of me, no need for pulling stunts.


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Sum Story

Oh maths is really not a joke,

I strained my brain until it broke.

My brain is like a one-way street,

but new ideas I have to meet.

From this black hole I wont retreat,

I will not admit defeat.


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Poet

Here is a poet who is such a bore,

let me escape, I cant take any more. When we all clapped, I thought that was the end,

of feeling the need to act and pretend.Just listening tortured me into a sleep,

I fell to the floor in an agonised heap.I look around for a clear path to go,if Im discreet, nobody will know.

It would be wise not to stay till the end,because if I do, I will go round the bend.


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Charity Case

Oh yes you work for charity, youre standing on the street,

asking for the bank details from everyone you meet.You scan the road for victims, then you try to block my path,

as you lean towards my face, your tactics make me laugh.

Bombard me with your biggest grin, and put me on the spot,trick me into donations that I really havent got.

The worst thing I have done, is let you carry on your speech,

you dont take no for an answer, youre no better than a leech. How much goes to charity, after youve been paid? It goes against the principle, to see a living made.


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Unwanted Gift

Somebody has given me a present I dont want,

before they guess what I am thinking, I put on a front.Now I have to smile, and look so grateful when I'm not

especially because its free, and I dont have a lot. It is really useless and I wish I could return it,

my house is full of clutter, it would make more sense to burn it.Im too scared to pass it on, in case it gets discovered,

I would rather die than let my secret be uncovered.The value of our friendship is much greater than the truth,besides if th ey found out, Id be afraid theyd hit the roof.


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No Money

Life with no money is not very funny,

when you cant afford much at all, you work for a living, but with some misgiving,

you realise that you are a fool.Theres nothing in wages, you spent it in stages,

but you took none for yourself,The rent took the most, now you cant afford toast,

what must it be like to have wealth?

You got really ill when you saw the bill,for fuel that you werent home to use,

Youre a slave to the country, you just want to run free,you wonder what youve got to lose.


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Customer Feedback

Customer feedback? It came up my throat.

To you, the word restaurant seems quite remote.

All the fussing you did to our table,

that doesnt make me believe you are able.

Making a big deal arranging the cloth,

instead you could make sure the food isnt off.

I just heard your microwave ping,

fresh food must be an outdated thing.

You let us think that you cooked it today,instead its been frozen and heated your way.

Bits of potato I tasted are cold,

in my paranoia I thought I saw mould.

Its flavourless shite and Ive paid you so well,

your posh looking restaurant is our hell.

Im no longer hungry, you made me feel sick

yet my bellys empty, thats a rotten trick! I lack the guts to be honest right now,

as you smile and come over, I raise an eyebrow.

How is your food? now my confidence dips,

our romantic dinner just had an eclipse.

I know that you will not listen to me,

or give compensation by making it free.

Also, I ate all the bits that were good,

instead of returning it like I should.

I tried for ages to stay in denial,

smiled at my partner like it wasnt vile.

I was too worried about seeming rude,

instead of admitting that we both got screwed.


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Indian Restaurant

An Indian restaurant, how very niceothers wouldnt look at it twice.

They say dont judge a book by its cover,

so I went inside, dragging my lover.I shouldve been warned, there was no -one in there

as were given our table Im full of despair.

It feels like a graveyard, Im too scared to sneeze as we get stared at, Im eager to please.

I feel were on stage now, receiving attention I just hope the food is worth a mention.

When it arrives Im so sad to be right, it looks more like a pile of shite.

Cow dung would give more steam on the tableIt looks like their microwave just wasnt able.

Avoiding the bits of unheated curryThe small pools of oil make me want to hurry.

The sooner I finish, the quicker I leave,

from this bad food theres no reprieve.I turn to the rice in the hope that its better, instead I can see that its shiny and wetter.

As I dig under, I see lots more oil

good food they really know how to spoil.I feel like a fool, I got caught in here

previous customers wont come nea r.


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Poison Pie Lady

Poison Pie lady, my god you are shady.The way you treat everyone, you are no lady.

Openly telling me, you resent othersafter the nightclub, dragging their lovers.

That never went on, not in my day

What planet are you on? Are you here to stay?Your shop is open 24 hours,

I pity anyone under your powers.

The pie I had bought, I thought it was cheese

the smell it gave off, would never please.It turned out to be chicken and mushroom,

the next 24 hours were full of gloom.

I was so si ck from it, I couldnt twitch

it got me to thinking that you were a bitch,is this how you punish the locals who party?

After midnight, God help all the tarty!

I think youre a virgin, if cookings to go by the way to a mans heart, it aint through your pie.

I know youre frustrated, you hate young uns freedom, when they misbehave and get loud, how you hate em.

They come in the shop just to tease you with maliceperhaps you deserve it, your shop is no palace.

Its not just the pie, all the chips that y ou friedwere so full of sunflower oil, they had died.

I barely picked one up with my fingertwas dripping all over, the grease did linger.

The oil even stained the brown paper bag

now it resembles a slimy wet rag.For others its easy, theyd just blame the drink

and come back next week, unable to think.You are the vulture, to punish with hateall the young rowdy ones who irritate.

Your day is coming, when someone will suethis poem is telling you what you must do.


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Pub Owner

Im a pub owner, and Im your best friend, the minute youre broke, our friendship will end.

On alcohol I will make sure you depend,

I dictate how much you will spend.

I listen to stories, and smile and pretend,

even though youre driving me round the bend. To feed your addiction means profit to me,

beyond euro coins, no more do I see.

I am everyones local drug dealer,

I may put you in need of a healer.


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Cathedral

At this Cathedral, we treat you like fools, by taking your cash at the door.

But as you look round, you can't make a sound, as you walk about on our floor.

Taking money each time you enjoy the sublime, but cameras and photos arebanned,

we give the reason 'to do so is treason' , we have our excuses well planned.

Yet our tourist book that you bought for a look, had photographs taken for sale,

our principles vary, so you should be wary, we'll make your enjoyment go stale.

We treat you so lightly, as we are too mighty, too holy for pictures we say,

no tourist attraction for such rowdy action, but we say this after you pay.

Our principles falter up high on the altar, we don't want to spite you outside,

and so we begin once we let you in, we really take you for a ride.

Some of our staff are too snobby to laugh, instead they are hostile and glum,

we don't mind being rude as we watch you get screwed,

your cash doesn't make you our chum.


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Tour Guide

Im a nice lady who works as a guide, in this tourist place.

You wouldnt look twice if you think Im nice, but I can show my nasty face.

I have a plan, assertive I am, Ill tell you No cameras in here.

Ill get the result that you want to bolt, my manner makes you shed a tear.

I have such power, at you I will glower, authority does make me high,if I am firm then maybe youll learn, my manner is far from shy.

I cannot be nice with eyes like ice, as I angrily storm your way,

using bad tone as I dig with my bone, I like to ruin your day.

I add sarcasm to kill the orgasm, of you enjoying this place,

only you know how I let myself show, as I am rude to your face.

Its not about photos not being allowed, I know you dont mean any harm,

but it made me feel good like no staff ever should,to spoil your mood with this charm.

Treating you like a child, Ill drive you wild, by s natching your dignity,

now you wont come back for fear of attack,

I should have been nice and just smiled.

You cannot say that you had a nice day, my malice flew round in your head,

I was so mean, now youre not very keen,

the thought of it fills you with dread.


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Shame on You

Shame on you for being mean and spoiling peoples day,

showing such bad attitude after tourists pay.

You stormed across the floor to me as if it was a race,not content with being firm, you glare right in my face.

Your manner was quite hostile as you snapped No cameras here

using a bad tone of voice, controlling me with fear.

You didnt just inform me that no photos are allowed, you reprimanded me as if I was a naughty child.

It was so demeaning, I was really quite put down,and then you were sarcastic, which really made me frown.

Why couldnt you just tell me of the policies in place,

what did you need to prove by showing such a nasty face?

It wasnt very welcoming to be attacked this way, it spoiled my enjoyment, I was having a nice day.

I feel that as a tourist I am really being used,

as after I have paid the fee, Im just getting abused. You wont gain in the future, I wont let you do this twice,

you would have got more custom, if you had been nice.


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Party On!

I study Social Science to see how people tick,

I meet a range of people, from the healthy to the sick.I may end up doing the best job of them all,

helping people out there, who have had a life so cruel.

Ive had a great work placement, with a lot of friend ly staff,

a good thing to look back on, and at least we had a laugh.It takes dedication to study my degree,

a well earned celebration is on its way to me!


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Phone Manner

Each time I find an asshole like you, I consider it material for my art.

Get yourself a patient phone manner, or is that too much of a new start?The line went off, on and off, just as you recited a number.

I asked you to repeat, saying Sorry all the time.

I gave you permission to sharpen your voice.

My manner dictated how yours would become, just as yours can dictate mine.

If I had been more confident, less apologetic,

should I have been grateful, to have a pig like you eat from my hand?No one else except yourself, do you understand.

You are so important, and your stress gave you permission to be rude.

Go and get screwed.


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The Queen Bee

The Queen Bee of the office, is employed to tell you No. The second you are seen, you are assessed as friend or foe,

you will not be spared, if you dont take the hint and go.

Everything you say, she does her utmost to ignore,God help you if youre adamant, and try to argue more.

Obviously you have never met her kind before,she takes a step towards you, pushing you back through the door.

Dont mess with the Queen Bee, shes m ore powerful than you,with a veneer of politeness she assumes you wont see through.

She stares at you in silence, hoping to intimidate,and then repeats her answer No, till you run for the gate. Even when you prove her wrong, she tries hard to deny it,her job is to wear you down, make you feel like an eejit.


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Persuasion

Why are you determined, to get me to agreeto all the things that you suggest, by dominating me?

I have to watch you carefully, how stupid can I be,

if you dont give up, youll see the nasty side of me.This game that you are playing, has very nearly worked

but then my instinct rescued me, when I became so irked.You prompted me to answer, with the words you want to hear,

so I respond with silence, hoping I make myself clear.

This gives you the go ahead, to step it up a gear

I know you are ignoring me, its adding to my fear. I try my very hardest, not to let you near,

I fight off every point you make, I cannot let you steer.Youve done this to others, it isnt only me,

Youve had your chance to practise, now you do it perfectly.

Why you take your victims, is anybodys guess, but as I slipped right through your net, you didnt have success!


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Scrounger

I am a scrounger, and I am a cheat,

I cannot budget, so Im on the street.I wont change my ways, I go begging instead

alienate all of the people I led.

Its not a question of whether Im fed, how I am broke is a question I dread.

I make you feel that you have to give,

taking advantage, so that I can live.Im not always humble, at times Im a pig,

I have no shame, and at you I will dig.

I ask you now why you wont donate,

even though its not my right to dictate.


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Intimidation

Boy racer, how you stare at me

with your eyes on the road.

Seems to be impossible,why are you such a toad?Your bony face aggressive

as you pass me in your car.With your eyes out the window,

how did you get this far?Your eyes should be on the road

not staring passers by.

We need permission to be here

I have a question, Why? Oh pretty please, yes here I stand,

no, you dont know me. I hold a strangers license,

so now, will you let me be?

For Gods sake just stop staring, you are getting on my nerves.

Its a wonder you dont crash your car

when speeding round those curves.


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Being Stared At

Feel eyes on you.

Defend your privacy, by looking at their eyes too.

Now theyre ashamed, and eyes drop down.

They had no point to make, but an advantage they did take.

So confront your enemy to find none there.

Sorry, did I mean coward?

I am empowered.


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Weirdo

Oh weirdo knocking on my door, you rang my bell five times before.

Late at night, before lunch hour, no privacy, you take my power.

Too afraid to tell you no, instead I wait for you to go.

I nod and smile, Im too polite, you take advantage of my plight.

I do not know how to say, oh you weirdo go away!


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Oh God

Oh God, I am afraid of you, and of the things they say youll do. Its hard to put my trust in you, if Im made to think its true.

If you are kind how can you do, the dreadful things that come from you?

The Armageddon, and hellfire, these religions go haywire,threatening that we will die, apparently todays goodbye.

When we are dead, well find out then, who was right, or wrong again. Why worry, when were still alive, as they are seeking to deprive.

So in the meantime, go away, with your theories and hell pay,innocent I know I am, no need to listen to your sham.

The fear of putting one foot wrong, in case I never hear Gods song. Wh eres the glory of his love, the sweetness in his heart above,

the comfort of your faith in him, to ease your mind from feeling grim?While Im here just listening, to dreadful tales of unknown sin

no longer am I feeling free, intelligence must disagree.

A normal life I want to lead, for peace of mind, I beg and plead.So brainwashed, that my soul is hit, a happy heart, now full of grit.My eyes that should belong to me, are blinded, so that I wont see.

Their poisons nearly killing me, but intuition sets me free.


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Are We There Yet?

The hardest part of life,

is facing our own death.

We spend our time dreadingtaking our last breath.

Why cant we enjoy living,

with this burden on our head?We make up comfort stories,

that say were never dead. Well float in Heaven, reincarnate,

or even burn in Hell.

Id like to meet our relatives,

with their story to tell.Since you were born so perfect,

why did you die of ill health?Now tell me, hows the universe,

did you meet God himself?

Lets get out the Ouija Board,and push things off the shelves,

pretend that somethings happening,

well terrify ourselves.


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Authors Biography

Emma Sharn is 31, and of Romanian, Hungarian and German descent.Born in London, she moved to Ireland in 2003, where she wrote over a

hundred poems. She compiled this book of poems about daily life, afterrealising everyone has different feelings about it. Whether you are young

or old, male or female, you are sure to enjoy these comically writtenpoems.

Emma Sharn

'Life Around Us' poetry eBook

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