Liber32: Goddess, Bring ForthDarkness and Light

ISSUE

4

Gonzo Malefactor email artist

Paging Dr. Freud comes to mind.

It seems rather hypnotic how we tend to regurgitate beliefs and parrot themin hopes to have the desire they impose on us to feel, and with all hope and faithhave them manifest and enjoy them. Well, that’s on the optimistic side of course;as far as experience taught me, belief shapes will and vice versa, or maybebecause I just chose to believe in this to have a better life. While it’s good toliberate ourselves from beliefs every now and then, history seems to tell usliberation has a sly way of becoming oppression if one is not keeping thosebeliefs in check, with personal desires and personal surroundings. But herecomes the fornication between mysticism and atheism. In a sense, thedestruction of the grip of belief, where we might end up either mass genocidalmaniacs, miserable beggars waiting for a big hand from the sky to feed us, orsimply to die miserable of loneliness because our beliefs just don’t fit with oursurroundings. My theory here is that both are affected by the grip of belief, oneby the hope of finding a daddy or a mummy better than the ones we alreadyhave, the other one is just too much disappointment, nothing seems to introducehope for better living. Well of course a lot of atheists believe in their power of will,I suppose. But these are not the ones I am handling in this context. There is apart where liberation from belief as an identity fits into the belief as a desire; thetrick is to believe you believed it because you chose to, even unconsciouslybecause it attached itself to some other belief thus shaping your will to it, andthus the creation of subconscious desire and intent and manifestation. It seemsto me more profitable if we acknowledge that we believe because we desirepleasure instead of desiring security, which in many heavily religiouscommunities such seems to be the case; the most rebellious seem to be themost insecure. The more they rebel the more they tend to go further from thesource of security that they were compelled to believe in during childhood, thusrebelling against a lot of things but leaving out the most important source ofoppression. Believing they desire security instead of desiring pleasure, securityultimately becomes a form of pleasure leading us to look for mommies anddaddies in others instead of lovers and friends.

But the more important thing here relates to the connection between looking forsecurity and perceiving relief. As pleasure, the addiction and the compulsionseems to attach to a person, leading to the misery of frustration and greed, whennothing seems enough. A lot of people would tell you that your security shouldcome from within, but they never tell you that there is no security and no danger,only awareness and manipulation of advantage. Of course the wiring goesdeeper in such circuits depending on the experiences of each person.

Oh God thou art the greatest desire that the heart has formulated into myperception of existence. The more I believed in you, the more doubts penetratedthrough the veils of my desire for your existence, and within the science of mydoubt I have found the candle I have lit upon your altar. Amen

May chaos be your authority? Messages from the void-Idris

Now let’s get away from this poetic nonsense, and the elusive word that we useas an excuse to not be afraid of failure. Just to know that we have what is neededto pass through the thin line in between to get to that passage, the desire forinitiation, the desire for acceptance that clings to our hearts that always made usthink that our existence demanded worship whether we are doing it or it's beendone to us. From the simple need to watch others, doing the things we do to feelgood about ourselves, to the complexity of philosophy putting a reason toexistence, to the study of psychology behind our reasons for making the samedecision over and over again. But really, I promised last time that I woulddeconstruct my perception of the spirit for you, but I have found a better subjectto deconstruct, my belief in God. There are two ways of going around the belief inGod : either to add devotion and further belief in its existence, or start readingmore and committing acts of blasphemy to liberate yourself. But here is thething... the more we try to devote our time and energy to our god of choice themore we somehow strengthen doubt in its existence. The more we do theopposite, we strengthen the belief of the desire to doubt the god. It seems to mea good way out of this is to allow yourself to be indifferent to the whole idea. All ofthe gods seem to me to be a corpus of desires glued up by belief and intensifiedby acts of devotion.

“Can it go to the extent of Genocide?”But really ask yourself, why would you want to believe in God? Is it the fear offailure, or is it the need to find an extraterrestrial pleasure in your desire. Isn’tecstasy enough? Isn’t the pleasure of tasting a fruit as its juice feeds your senseswith delight enough to make you feel alive? Or must you feel allowed to do so?By gracing it with the desire that it is for, be it an invocation to your God, which atthat time it might as well be the desire to get over hunger. And now do you seewhere I am going with this, we have attached so many meanings to God basedon desire. We want to manifest not the reality/fallacy of his existence, to makemore evident that we will get what we want; we attach ourselves in the name ofour desire to the presence of an ultimate truth yet in the process we chained ourfeet to the cycle of allowance and Prohibition. And now that we smashed the altarof our misconceptions, now let’s take a trip around what we call ourselves sincewe know ourselves as HUMAN BEINGS. So are we doing what attaches us tobeing a human being? Do we abide by the the rules and regulations that all theso called wise have constructed for us to abide by so that we can call ourselveshuman? Do you really want to be called a human being, what freedom does thislabel give you and what limitation does this imply? It seems to me that when wesmash the concept of being and apply ourselves to the state of constantmanifestation through action, it tends to smash all the proof we have attached tosome of the most useless emotions, loneliness for example, what set of actionsfulfill the presence of the state of loneliness? What set of actions constitute thatwe are in a state of love?

Idris

Scott Swiecki Email Artist

This isn't astral journeying, it's only seeing in my mind, but I say whichever of thetwo you can do, go for it.

Weed under the duckpond:

twisted, strangling, dank.

I dived beneath the surface, and it tugs and grabs at me.

Ellis sent me down here and told me to stay under.

As this is meditation, does that make it a dream?

I drew her by the pond and I meditate there sometimes.

She said I need the other aspect.

Swimming underneath.

The languid, shadowed water flls my mind with green.

I love the green in plants, but slimy pondbed green?

It slaps against my face, so I feel but cannot see.

I count the moments under here, but my time sense is gone.

Is she satisfed?

The surface looks so far above.

The pondbed has so many bumps, they feel so slippery;

It seems too thick and soupy for a fsh or newt to live.

Now I will associate the pond with murky sludge as well assunlight sparkling on the ripples at the top.

Is that the other aspect that I'm supposed to see?

I'll have to break the surface now, I'll start to feel I've drowned.

-Tara

Seth Morris anamericanmystagogue.theinfinitynetwork.orgHypno Nods:

email artistC.M. Whitehouse from REPSYCHELED

Here's your warning.

We are everywhere andnowhere, watching,infuencing, intervening.

Look for the unnoticed andyou might see us.Perhaps weare watching you now.

Outside the window, orbeyond the trees.In yourroom while you're sleeping.

We are many, We are legion.We will be coming for you

SOON.

-Delamore

HilariahLight

Cephlapod email artist

Alpha Centari

Scott Swiecki

From an e-letter I wrote this morning to a friend:From an e-letter I wrote this morning to a friend:

I woke up in a dream last night where I wasI woke up in a dream last night where I wascalling out the name Elohim while staring at mycalling out the name Elohim while staring at myown refection in a mirror, and I felt thisown refection in a mirror, and I felt thismonumental force rising up and coming tomonumental force rising up and coming toprominence from within my entire being. Evenprominence from within my entire being. Evenwhen I woke up, I felt it strongly. It's been saidwhen I woke up, I felt it strongly. It's been saidthat one can't see one's own refection in a dream.that one can't see one's own refection in a dream.I don't know exactly what I saw, but I doI don't know exactly what I saw, but I doremember seeing a face refected back at me.remember seeing a face refected back at me.

Before bed, while in creator mode, I kept seeingBefore bed, while in creator mode, I kept seeingshadowy entities moving through my roomshadowy entities moving through my roomaround me.around me.

I wanted also to tell you that when I was at yourI wanted also to tell you that when I was at yourplace with Nathan, I believe my "subconscious"place with Nathan, I believe my "subconscious"mind was communicating to the rest of me that Imind was communicating to the rest of me that Ihave time-travelled, and that I have beenhave time-travelled, and that I have beenreincarnated repeatedly. Perhaps this is how I amreincarnated repeatedly. Perhaps this is how I ameternal and mortal and unborn all at once.eternal and mortal and unborn all at once.

-Jory P-Jory P

Artist: Hashi Sayed

Cephlapod email artist

Painter- Kevin O'Bedlam Model- Nurse Thighs

C.M. Whitehouse email artist

Seth MorrisBusiness As Usual:

Something about a second Higgs Boson, whatever, who cares,Something about a second Higgs Boson, whatever, who cares,call'em back the show's on. A never ending series of delightfulcall'em back the show's on. A never ending series of delightfuldelays, like a tight-knit opposing Fibonacci maze. This chalice indelays, like a tight-knit opposing Fibonacci maze. This chalice inwonder-lust, of water to wake the wicked to the world. Knowingwonder-lust, of water to wake the wicked to the world. Knowingnothing, I drank of the spoiled serpent semen. Only then did mynothing, I drank of the spoiled serpent semen. Only then did myeyes grow wide, forming a pre prefrontal cortex to bridge theeyes grow wide, forming a pre prefrontal cortex to bridge thedivide. Breathing it all in... soaking up all the poisons of thisdivide. Breathing it all in... soaking up all the poisons of thisdivinely enchanted world through every pore of my skin. I chose todivinely enchanted world through every pore of my skin. I chose tobe here, apparently for no purpose other than to bear witness to thebe here, apparently for no purpose other than to bear witness to themass defecation we call our lives, to the defacto global corporatemass defecation we call our lives, to the defacto global corporatetakeover, the desacrefaction of all that was once holy.takeover, the desacrefaction of all that was once holy.All this nonsensical serpent wrapping around on itself, we all knowAll this nonsensical serpent wrapping around on itself, we all knowthe truth, life is life, there is no death...the truth, life is life, there is no death... -Jeff P

The Girl Who Saw It All: Idris

Paradoxes of Time as Perception

1. The Paradox of multiple beings occupying the "same" TIME-SPACE, in what Icall different PERSONAL TIME ZONES: One person looking out a window maybe looking through what the person sees that sits next to them; while one personsees what's there in the "actual" space, another sees through it to another place intime (possibly through a phone call or through memory).

Therefore,

2. The time-space that appears the same for two or more individuals to an observeris actually not the same. It is an illusion. On second observation, it seems irrefutablethat two individuals, in fact, are not occupying the same time-space, unless twoindividuals comprise a single entity as in a case of "dissociative identity disorder"(multiple personalities).

3. By focusing one's energy through thoughts and feelings into direct observation ofthe details of what is present in the space one occupies at any given moment, themolecules of timespace experienced as oneself come more fully into view.

4. To master this quality seems to require a decisive amount of concentratedconscious force of some kind in order to ignore excess time data within oneselffrom elsewhere, in other dimensions of spacetime. This is what is called"mindfulness" or "presence".

5. The paradox of one's timespace experience proportionate to one's movement: as Islow my ethereal and corporeal movements to stillness from rapidity, I experiencean increase in the time-space I am able to perceive.

6. The greater the time experienced in the smaller space, the more information andevents I am able to perceive, interpret, digest, and perform.

7. Every day that I perceive it is "too late" or "too soon" in my life or the course ofevents, time is static and I am off-time. The moment, however, that I perceive that"now is the time", or that "I have all the time in the world", I turn to being "on-time", become a vehicle of time-space and everything conspires with me toaccomplish a particular mission.

8. Time-space follows natural cycles of off and on, just as naturally as the ebb andflow of the ocean's tide. Consciousness exists as a function of time. A sentientbeing, therefore, as much as one is able to predict time-space, is also predicted bythe self-same time-space.

Therefore, what is "free-will"? -Jory P

Frater Theodbald I'll need to re-read thiswhen I'm less drunk.

Frater Theodbald lol the reason I get drunkis to stop perceiving time!

Jory Piccinino what if time and perceptionare the same? is time ever absent? isperception "of it"? that is all.

Frater Theodbald I think time is a measureof change. If there existed a closedsystem (or a universe) where nothingever changed, time would be absent fromthat system or universe. If the pendulumdidn't swing, the clock wouldn't turn.

Frater Theodbald We percieve change andtherefore deduce time..

HilariahLight

Idris

HilariahLight

Scott SwieckiEmail Artist

Jory Piccinino Does yi ("right") refer to appropriate action, then?

Homertier Blua Yes it's a excerpt from a debate with the philosopher Mencius about right andwrong and human nature....Mencius believed everyone was intrinsically good Goazi had a moreopen handed view of people being neutral (at least in my understanding)

Jory Piccinino The way I see the craving for sex and food is similar: I would agree they are inour nature; however, I would diverge from the view that there is anything right or wrong. I viewhumanity as part of Universal nature. Viewed objectively, our need and desire to consume andour anatomical geometry that has evolved to digest, assimilate, transmute, and output abyproduct, is inherent in all systems and processes throughout the observable cosmos. Evenrocks forming and breaking down over the course of millions of years from celestial and organicmaterial and back into such represents the same basic pattern. It's all recycling.

Homertier Blua I agree the debate is found in the writings of Mencius so of course he appears asthe stronger debater.... But he is essentially a supporter of the ideas of confucianism... Which Ican not argue the wisdom of Confucius but he is very imperial and for the state, I can not agreewith many of his tenants.

Eros Vox Tropik Perhaps it is in reference to desire associated with consummation rather thanthe act itself. Eat, fuck, procreate, pee may exist within the realm of natural science but thedesire for and amount of is far more than recycling

Gaozi said, “Appetites for food and sex are part of ournature. Humanity (ren) is internal rather than external;

right (yi) is external rather than internal.”

And then,

the dark came oncemore.

A flicker, a glimmer, afealty to sight, sodarkened, so blackened, so sudden, so slight.

And while eyes areaccustomed to light allaround I squint and Iharbor

the new darkness I'vefound.

-Hashi Sayed

Home Made Magic:

Hat Bind Rune- Nicholas YeatesMask and Meditation Staffs- ChincheSigil Shirt- Cephlapod

Squicle AKA The Negotiation: C.W. Whitehouse

email artist

Yod Mem Matrix

AZ/23

10, 40

email artist

Late Night Writing

By: Seth Moris

There comes a point where lying to yourself becomes a chore too cumbersome for even the most optimistic- thatis, deluded - mind to manage without making a racket. The burden is too weighty, the goal is too lofty.Something that is previously believed to have been inconsequential, or even deserved becomes a glaring errormessage in the fabric of your existence. The burglar drops the television down the stairs, quite by accident, buteven so the whole house is awoken. This is what it feels like to stumble upon your own delusional machinations.It is quite sudden, and banging tends to follow. The subtle manufacturing of the self's own stupidity, packagedand wrapped in glittery gold paper. So shiny, in all of its eye-catching glory, that for a moment that seemseternal you are lost; you've forgotten that you do not know what is on the inside, or that there is even an inside.

You get lost in the appearance of the shining gold wrapper, and you let yourself get lost. You don't even have toknow this, to do this. There is no wrapper, there is no box. These are devices to understand, they are thin andworn and stretched like spider's silk across springy forest saplings, trees too young to remember the ax evenwhile their progenitor's stumps lay jagged in rich earth around them.

The world and its inhabitants are butterfly wings that draw the eye, and with their beauty they doom themselvesto the hand that reaches and grasps...the butterfly wing draws to itself and in its beauty it draws its ownannihilation. To see, is to desire, and to desire is to grasp, and to grasp is to powder and disintegrate that whichwas once attractive. The world and its inhabitants are butterfly wings that turn to dust under a fingertip, and inthis lies awe. In this lies awe.

I have lied to myself every day that I can remember ever having told myself anything at all. I am not sure thatthis is abnormal as far as people are concerned, but I am also not sure that most people recognize this. At least, Ithink to myself, I recognize it. But this is quite probably another lie. Lies have a way of worming themselvesaround each other like the rat-king's tails, until they are as meshed together as steel wool, and razor sharp.Anything that touches them is cleaved in two. They say that love overcomes all, but it's lies they are thinking of.Its a lie itself to say love overcomes all, which just goes to show you how powerful lies really are. But this isn'ta rant against love. Or against lies. Its not really about anything at all, because if it were it wouldn't need to bewritten down.

No, this is about stumbling. Accidental happenstance and serendipity. Its about catalysts, and unpredictability.Its about finding yourself where you least expect it, and losing yourself when you thought you had no self tolose. Its about remembering forgetting, learning to be ignorant. This is about losing when you want to win, andwinning when you want to lose. Its about loss. Its about sorrow. Its about lust, and adventure and hope. Its aboutdeluding yourself. Some people say they can't write, that they haven't got the knack. But they're all writers,every goddamned one of them, and they're writing stories in their skulls, etched in gray-matter and imprintedonto neurology. They live this story, they breathe this story. They are committed, to this story. They love for thisstory, they lose for it, die for it, kill for it.

And hey, can't blame them for it, can you? That's commitment. Its more commitment than I ever had. I couldn'teven stay in character long enough to get myself too deeply situated in shit, and here you had people who wereneck deep and sinking with a grin on their face like they weren't about to slowly suffocate themselves under thegirth of their own narrative. Their own story.

As for me, I'm letting the world swallow me whole. We all are. Being swallowed that is. But I'm letting ithappen. That's the difference. You can't let something you don't know is happening, happen, can you? You gottaknow what the situation is, gotta lean back in your chair and prop your feet up on someone else's table (andwhilst getting mud everywhere while you're at it) and just push off backwards straight into the prison of yourown flesh and limited ability. Let it eat you alive. Let it scour you with hot ash and fill your lungs with sand.And then you die. But no one could ever say you died surprised.

But its not about death. Not real, physical death like we think. Death is just a morbid metaphor. For what? Fuckif I know. Do you know? Nah. You think you know, like I think I know. But its just another butterfly wing. Itpulls you in, and then crumbles. C'est la vie. And it is goddamned beautiful. Its goddamned absurd.

Artist: Richard Hilford

Lets Play a Game...Gang Writing or Chaos Magick?

Paul- Yes.

Homertier Blua- My word Chaos Gangstas!!!

Paul- Aren't we all?Eian Orange- Judging by the style of my own sigilsthese days I'd say it's getting harder to tell thedifference, Public sigils carry the same intent as regular graffti i.e. toPublic sigils carry the same intent as regular graffti i.e. to

be paid attention to, even if only peripherally. The attention paid bybe paid attention to, even if only peripherally. The attention paid bypeople in varying states of consciousness charges the glyph in all mannerpeople in varying states of consciousness charges the glyph in all mannerof spontaneous gnosis. Some people are on auto-pilot trying to beat theof spontaneous gnosis. Some people are on auto-pilot trying to beat theclock for their 9-5, others are free foating and possibly on drugs or justclock for their 9-5, others are free foating and possibly on drugs or justrelaxed, others still are mindful of their surroundings and therefore add arelaxed, others still are mindful of their surroundings and therefore add abit of cynicism to the mix. The states of consciousness are as plentiful asbit of cynicism to the mix. The states of consciousness are as plentiful asthe archetypes amidst the human psyche, but all of them lend themselvesthe archetypes amidst the human psyche, but all of them lend themselvestoward a phase of empowerment that cannot be easily quantifed. It istoward a phase of empowerment that cannot be easily quantifed. It isonly through a qualitative measurement of our expansion of satelliteonly through a qualitative measurement of our expansion of satellitelinking power that we decide upon such things as results. Are morelinking power that we decide upon such things as results. Are moreSynchronicities popping up in those areas we've canvased? Have weSynchronicities popping up in those areas we've canvased? Have wepinpointed the ley lines that our tags cross and noticed anomalies alongpinpointed the ley lines that our tags cross and noticed anomalies alongthose parameters? Has there been a general increase in manifestationthose parameters? Has there been a general increase in manifestationrevolving around the use of the tagging sigil? These are the kinds ofrevolving around the use of the tagging sigil? These are the kinds ofquestions we must ask ourselves in order to decipher the veritablequestions we must ask ourselves in order to decipher the veritablestatistics output our linking symbol is offering us. /end bullshitstatistics output our linking symbol is offering us. /end bullshit

Homertier Blua- ^ couldn't agree more.Mad Queen- das a sigil.or I'm old and don't recognizegang tags no mo

Chris- Next thing you knowyou will need to get jumpedin a node.

Mad Queen- Das a sigil.or I'm old and don't recognize gangtags no mo

Eian Orange- //next thing you know you willneed to get jumped in a node//

That's how we do it at the Z.'. Z.'.Homertier Blua- This thing has been driving me crazy!

Eian Orange- I used to write. I still have my handstyle. That sigil is a 2-Drepresentation of an amalgamation of Hu the deifcation of the frst word in theEgyptian mythology of the Ennead, Hu the Suf concept for God, and Hu the Eckankarmantra that is a love song to God. It's what came 2nd in line in this aural cosmogenyI'm working with.

000. Silence00. Sound0. Light

Roof

I stood on the roof singing.

Now I'm a bird, or I have a bird,

Or a little bird told me something,

Or I read about Chelsea Night on the roof,

Or I found a leak in my life, in the roof,

Or someone was killed when he fell off theroof,

Or it came in through a hatch in the roof,

Or the church lost its roof in the war,

Or something stuck to the roof of my mouth,

Or we made a spire by splitting the roof,

Or (memory of reading something grim!)

There were flowers that bloomed in the attic.-Tara

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