Letters to Senpai.

7/29/2019 Letters to Senpai.

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“You’re lucky, you know? Having all those people care about you.” “What on earth are you talking

about, Yamada? If those ‘people’ you are referring to are the girls, forget it. What’s so lucky about

that? Such troublesome creatures,” he sighed. Yamada scratched his head and said, “I don’t get you.

They’re crazy about you, Rukawa! Even the rest of us are not like you though we all are in the same

team…Fine, I forgot about the fact that you are also good in marathon, archery, aikido, and even

playing the piano AND the violin. Wow, whoever succeed in winning your heart, she’s amazing.”

Rukawa ignored his friend and opened his shoe locker. An envelope fell down as soon as he opened

the locker. He picked it up and about to scrunch it away, but Yamada stopped him, “What are you

doing? That’s a letter for you.” He held the letter between his forefinger and index finger, “A love

letter, to be precise. Lately, I’ve been receiving the letters from the same anonymous person.”

Yamada raised his eyebrow, “How do you know without even opening it?” “This person uses the

same pattern of envelope. It’s not that hard to notice.” He pointed towards the edges of the

envelope which was decorated with unique patterns, most likely a hand-drawn one. “Besides, I

better just throw it away rather than giving hope to this person by reading it.” Yamada put on his

shoes and said, “Why are you calling her ‘this person’? Obviously it’s a girl.” “Not until I look straightat her and assure myself that this person is a girl.” He put the letter in one of the pockets in his bag,

zipped it and went home.

The next day, Rukawa went to the café as usual during lunch break. “Rukawa-senpai, I’ve

made some lunch for you. Please, take it.” A junior, Aria, held out a bento in front of him, as usual.

He ignored and walked passed her. She quickly turned around and grabbed his arm, “Please senpai.

Accept this bento. You’re going to have basketball practise today, right? This lunch would definitely

give you extra energy for this evening,” she gave the warmest smile. He looked at her, and quickly

pulled his arm as hard as he can, almost causing her to fall down.“Enough Aria. We’re not kids

anymore.” He left her behind. She held unto the bento, gripping it hard. Yamada stood beside herand pat her shoulder, “He always like that. Not to you only, but other girls as well. Maybe he thought

that act was cool or something. Anyway, I’ll take that bento and make sure that he, at the very least,

gives it a try.” Aria looked at him, “Yamada-senpai…” she handed the bento while bowing, “Thank

you very much for your help.” He took the bento and smiled before he left.

During training that evening, while the basketball team are having their break, Yamada

handed Rukawa the bento, “She put a lot of effort in making these, you know? Do not treat it like

the last twenty-six bento she prepared for you.” This time, Yamada just placed it next to Rukawa and

left. He stared at the bento, and eventually opening it. There were some onigiri and sashimi. He gave

it a taste, and he smiled, “Just the way I like it, huh, Aria?” Yamada, who was staring from afar,smiled.

After training, both of the star-players of the basketball team went to the shoe locker as

usual. Again, Rukawa opened his locker and another envelope fell down. He sighed and picked it up.

“Did you read yesterday’s letter?” asked Yamada. He rolled his eyes and said, “I’ve put it inside the

drawer in my room together with the rest of the letter. I may get rid of them all, including this one as

well by tomorrow.” Yamada was about to say something back, but he stopped for he knew there

was nothing that could change his friend’s mind. As they both left, Aria walked out of the shadow.

“Good-bye, senpai,” she said.



It was the weekend and Rukawa was still lying on his bed, thinking of something fun to do.

“Yamada went out on a date with Asakura-san. I guess you can’t go out on a date if you don’t have

any.” He sighed. He was searching his room for something that might give him joy. Then, his eyes

fixed on a drawer by his desk. He closed his eyes and smiled, “Finally, something to do.” He got up

and walked straight to the drawer. He opened it and took out a pile of letters from his fans. He

looked at each of them, and threw them into the bin, except for the letters with the same-patterned

envelopes. He can’t help himself but to wonder who might be the ‘person’.

He brought the entire envelopes to his bed and opened the first one. He read it again,

although he already read it once and it was the only time he read the letter from that ‘person’.

Rukawa-senpai, how are you? I know it is a really childish and stupid idea to write letters

nowadays. But sometimes, there are things that we cannot express straight to the one that we love.

Yes, I really like you, senpai. It is not because you are good-looking, for I think other senpai are also

as good-looking as you are. The fact that you played basketball enthusiastically, you really inspired

me to work harder in everything I do. Other girls might only see you as their idol playing some

basketball, but not for me. All I can see is that you’ re trying your best out there. Every time you

successfully scored the three-pointer, you just gave me extra three reasons why I should look forward

for the future. Every time you made the slam dunk, you just showed me that even I can do something

out of my reach if I just try my best. For me, looking at you playing the basketball is like looking at a

very bright light while you are in a world of total darkness. I hope you will continue on playing the

basketball for you showed me how a hard life can be an easy one if you just try your best. Thank you,

senpai.

-Anonymous-

“As if there’s even anyone in this country with the name ‘anonymous’, don’t even need to

mention someone from school.” He folded the letter and placed it back inside its envelope. He took

the second envelope and took out the letter. He lied back on his bed and read the letter:

Rukawa-senpai, thank you for reading my letter. I just want to tell you that I love you. I know

it may seem like I just repeated myself but in case you did not read my first letter, you wouldn’ t know,

would you? Yesterday, I heard you at the music room. The way your fingers moved by themselves

and your arm swung the bow of the violin took my breath away. It is hard to imagine how your hands

can be hard and tough at a time and becomes gentle and graceful at another time. It was absolutely

inspiring to hear a basketball player played Chopin’ s Etude in E Major perfectly; not to mention you played Ave Maria with the violin as well. I wished that I can become that good with those

instruments as well, and maybe we can do a duet or something together. The special thing about

your music is that you managed to make me cry when you played a song from Stella Quintet using

the violin. The music touches deeply into my heart. Thank you so much, senpai, for the music.

-Anonymous-

Rukawa smiled by himself and said, “Is she some kind of stalker or something?” He kept

away the second letter and picked up the third. Suddenly, his phone rang. He quickly picked it up

and pressed the ‘ANSWER’ button. “Hey, captain! This is Kano. Are you free right now?” He looked at

the envelopes and replied, “You can say that. What’s up?” The voice from the phone continued,



“Well, Minoru and I thought that maybe you would like to help us training today at the public park.

We asked for Yamada’s help but he’s…” “On a date, I know,” he answered, “I’ll be there in 15

minutes. See you later.” He put down his phone and got up. He looked at the envelopes, and smiled,

“Maybe I’ll continue with the third and the rest of them later.” He took out a t-shirt from the closet

and left.

A few days has passed. Rukawa was hanging around at the roof top of the school building,

his favourite spot for cloud-gazing. He was reading one of the letters:

Rukawa-senpai, are you okay? I just want to say sorry about your game yesterday. I knew

that you had done your best. If only they didn’ t push you off as you were about to score the game-

point, you would probably be training right now for the finals. *sigh* I know you still could not get

over it though in front of your friends, you look just fine. During lunch break, I heard you play the

piano. It was so deep and sorrow where the music should be a happy tune. I knew exactly that

something is still bothering you. Do not keep it to yourself, senpai. I can see it from your face.

Whenever you’ re sad, you make me sad too. Please senpai, cheer up!

-Anonymous-

Rukawa stared at the letter. He rubbed his forehead and covered his eyes with his arm, “I

should have read these letter weeks ago.” He lifted his arm again and stared at the letter, “Someone

actually ‘understood’ me and my feeling.” He sighed. Staring at the sky, he said, “I wonder who

might this ‘anonymous’ girl be. Suddenly I felt like meeting her.” Then, Yamada appeared out of

nowhere, “I knew you would be here. What’s going on? What’s with all these letters?” He picked

one envelope up. Rukawa tried to snatch it back but failed. Yamada examined it and said, “Wait…I

thought you wanted to throw these out years ago, saying that you ‘better just throw it away ratherthan giving hope to this person by reading it’.” He imitated every single word Rukawa said before.

Rukawa ignored him. He explained, “I know what I said; but I just realised she’s different.” Yamada

joined him by taking the spot next to Rukawa and stared at the sky, “How different is she?”

Rukawa took another envelope, the second last of the letters and opened it, “She seems to

understand exactly how I feel at a time…” Yamada asked again, “Such as…” Rukawa answered,

“…like how much I hate you when you start bragging me about the money I owe you.” Yamada

laughed pretty hard, “That’s ridiculous. Yet, now that you mention it…” “Shut up!” Rukawa cut him

off before he could even finish his sentence. He unfolded the letter and read it:

Rukawa-senpai, I just want to say that I love you. It just feels so wrong not to say it since I

haven’ t write to you for quite some time, not that it matters to you or anything. I’m sorry that your

practise yesterday’ s evening had to be cancelled because of a girl fainted nearby and you went to

help her out. I personally think that it was very nice of you to do so. You waited by her side till she

woke up. I bet she must be very surprised to see you waited by her side. I noticed that the girl had

been preparing your lunch a few times. She must be really in love with you. If I was her, I’ d be really

touched for everything that you did. Because of what I witnessed, I’ m falling for you even more than I

already am. I love you, senpai.

-Anonymous-



“This is quite short…and how does she know about Aria being surprised to see me when she

woke up? Was she actually there as well?” Rukawa asked himself. “You say something?” Yamada

asked, half-sleeping. Rukawa covered his friend’s eyes and said, “Nothing, idiot. Just shut up and go

to your dream world.” He kept away the letter and stared at the final envelope. He asked himself, “I

wonder why she hadn’t send any letter to me lately?” He took the final envelope and woke Yamada

up, “Come on, sleepy head! We got class right now.” Yamada mumbled something, and both of

them went back to class.

Rukawa tried his best to focus on the lesson in class but Yamada kept on bothering him.

Then, someone passed a note to him from Yamada. It said, “I haven’t seen Aria-chan for quite a

while. What happen to her?” Rukawa sighed and looked at Yamada. He shrugged his shoulders,

signalling that he had no idea. Yamada started scribbling on another piece of paper and passed it to

Rukawa, “I thought both of you were close when you were kids. What’s going on nowadays?”

Rukawa answered by writing it on the same piece of paper. He replied. “Just like what you said, we

‘were’ close.”

After class, they went to the shoe locker as usual. Rukawa opened his locker, expecting an

envelope would fall down before him; but nothing happened. He stared at his shoes for a while, until

Yamada snapped him out of his daydream, “Hello??? Earth to Rukawa!!! Are you going to take out

your shoes or not?” He blinked, “Yeah, of course I am.” Yamada noticed that there’s something

wrong with his friend, yet he said nothing for he knew that Rukawa must have a problem that is too

personal to be shared with others. He joked, “Are you expecting another letter from that

anonymous fan of yours?” Then, he laughed. Rukawa just stared at him and took his leave. Yamada

shouted, “Hey, wait up! I was only joking!”

The night was very chilly. Rukawa just finished all of his homework and was bored to death.

For him, it was way too early to go to bed. He looked inside his bag and took out the final letter. He

stared at it for quite a while. Then, he got up, put on his jacket and went out for a walk. The wind

was cold, yet the stars were twinkling brightly all over the night sky. Rukawa went to the park and

sat on a bench near the lake. He stared at the surrounding and said, “I can’t believe that ten years

have passed,” he looked at the lake, “Aria would always forced me to come here at night and…” he

looked up and stared at the night sky, “…count the stars together with her.” He breathed out and

closed his eyes. After a few moments, he opened them back and took out the final letter from its

envelope. “This is it…” he said.

Rukawa-senpai, I’ m sorry for not keeping in touch with you for quite awhile. But I know that

you don’ t really mind; though I still have a lot of things to tell you. The problem is that I don’ t even

know where to start. I know that you haven’ t read any of my letters up until this moment I’ m writing

this one. But if you did read them all, I’ m sure that you’ re still wondering who I really am. Well, we’ re

not very close in school. Perhaps because you’ re my senpai; there’ s no good reason for us to be close

anyway. But, I know you far much better than anyone else in the school and the same goes for you

towards me. Never mind that for I have a more important thing to tell you. I’ m not feeling very well

lately, and I might not be able to send you any letters for the next couple of days…or maybe weeks.

But I would still be around tomorrow in case you’ re looking for me. I’ ll tell you the truth in my final

letter. I hope you will look forward to it tomorrow! And please don’ t skip your meals; you need that

extra energy for your evening practices, right? I love you, senpai.



-Anonymous-

Rukawa smiled before he laughed, “Oh man, seriously who is this girl? How can she actually

read my mind? How did she know that I’m wondering who she really is?” He eventually stopped

laughing and stared at the letter silently. He continued, “And what does she means by ‘not be able to

send you any letters for the next couple of days…or maybe weeks’ ? And the final two lines seems

very familiar…and also…her final letter? I received this one a few weeks ago; and there was none

since then.” He held onto the letter. He did not know what to think, what to say, or even what to do.

It was very confusing. He was still wondering why he wanted to find the girl so badly. He kept away

the letter and went home, confused.

The next day, Yamada greeted him as usual, “Morning, bro! How’s thing going on? Have you

find Aria-chan yet?” Once he looked at Rukawa’s face, he was shocked, “What the hell happened to

you? You look like a zombie!” Rukawa rubbed his eyes and said, “Yeah, I know. I didn’t manage to

get any sleep last night. Got some stuff to think about.” Yamada grinned, “Stuff? What kind of stuff?

Come on, Rukawa. You never hide anything from me.” Rukawa ignored his friend and went straight

to class. Yamada went after him, “Wait! I won’t let you get away without telling me first!”

“It’s nothing, ‘kay? It’s just that this thing is bothering me the whole night!” Rukawa

slammed the letter he read the other night on his desk and took his seat. Yamada picked it up and

examined the letter, “May I?” Rukawa sighed and shrugged. Yamada smiled, “Don’t mind if I do.” He

opened the envelope and read the letter. After a while, he placed it back inside and asked, “So, do

you have any idea who she is?” Rukawa did not reply. Yamada continued, “Have you asked around?

You know, you might have a clue of who she is…” Rukawa glared at him. Yamada bit his lower lip and

said, “Okay, that is so not your style. I get it. So, where’s the last letter?” Rukawa took a deep breath

and answered, “That’s the thing. There is no last letter! None that I remembered, at least. I wasn’t

even sure when was ‘tomorrow’ that she referred to in the letter. And now, I’ll never find her.”

There was a silent. The teacher would be there soon. Then, Yamada said, “I’ve never seen

you like this before, so I’m not really sure what to say. But now that I think about it, Aria had been

absent for ages. Do you think that she got anything to do with the letters? Because this one, she

mentioned about your meals and extra energy things, which was exactly what Aria said the last time

she gave you a bento.” Rukawa wondered for a while. Then he said, “That’s impossible. Aria would

never waste her time chasing after me. Did you forget the fact that we were childhood friends?”

“Because of that fact I’m saying this right now…” Yamada quickly replied. Suddenly, the door opened

and the teacher greeted them all. Yamada swiftly handed the envelope and whispered, “We’ll

continue this later.”

Everyone was paying attention to the history teacher except for Rukawa. He was staring at

the sky, still thinking of the matter. “Now, please turn to page 26.” He heard the teacher’s order and

sighed. He flipped the pages of his textbook and lifted it up. Out of the blue, something fell off from

one of the pages as he flipped. He bent down and tried to pick it up. His eyes widened. It was one of

the letters from her. “What is this thing doing in my History book?” he thought. He picked it up and

looked at it. It was still sealed! His heart was beating fast. “Is this the last letter?” he thought, “But

what is it doing in my…” Then, he remembered that this was the only letter that he forgot to keep

inside the drawer before the weekend that he started reading them all. He quickly opened the letter

and read it:



Rukawa-senpai …It is very hard for me to bring myself into writing this letter. There is so

much to write, but my hand cannot bear with this pen anymore. I guess I just need to tell the whole

truth. When I first moved next to your house, I was so scared of making new friends. You were my

first ever friend in the area, and I really liked you. You were amazing in all sorts of thing. You taught

me how to throw a ball, and now you’ ve become a basketball player. You taught me how to play the

piano, and now you’ re better than anyone I could think of. You always have a plan up your sleeve,

and now you’re the captain in your team. I bet you must have thousands of tricks in all your games.

You used to protect me from those bullies, and now all the girls are chasing after you. It actually

made me feel worth of being your childhood friend who also has the honour of being the only girl

that is very close to you. When you went to junior high, I really missed you and wished that I would

be joining you in the same school as well. Once I did, I was so happy and glad that I can still be with

you. Even now, I’ m grateful for being able to prepare lunches for you, though you threw away most

of them. Last year, I was diagnosed with a respiratory complication. I did take some medication but it

didn’ t work. Just a couple of months ago, I went for another check-up. Too bad that this time around,

the doctor told me that I got some sort of brain tumour, and it was fatal. It actually got worse when Ibumped my head after I collapsed during one of your practice. Still, I am thankful that you actually

took care of me and waited for me in the infirmary. Thank you, senpai, for what you did that day. I

also saw you ate the onigiri I’ ve prepared for you; you were smiling. I’ m glad that I can still create a

smile on your face in a way. I won’ t be around for that long though. Today would be my final day in

school, but I’ ll come back if my health permits me. Whatever happens, I think that I already have the

best time of my life. I thought that I will be alone, yet without you even realising it, you still showed

up in my life to cheer me up, to help me out, to give me strength, to support me…to show me the

meaning of life…and to make me believe that the future still awaits for me. Thank you, senpai, for

everything. I will always love you, in life or death.

-Aria-

His hands were trembling. He could not believe anything that he just read. “Rukawa, are you

listening to me? Mr. Rukawa?” The teacher was calling for him. Yamada also whispered to warn him

the teacher was coming his way. Suddenly, Rukawa got up and picked up his bag. “Where are you

going? You are in the middle of the class.” He turned to face the teacher and said, “I’m going home,”

before he left the class. “Rukawa!” Yamada called out his friend, but he was too late.

Rukawa ran away from school. He wasn’t sure of where he was heading to. Everything was

still a blur. He still could not accept whatever written in the final letter. Finally, he stopped by the

park to catch his breath, “Why are you doing this, Aria? Why haven’t you tell me anything? Why did

you write me those letters? Why?” He took a seat and looked around. He was sitting at the same

spot as he did last night. He did not know what to do now. He rested his head and closed his eyes.

You always have a plan up your sleeve. He quickly opened his eyes and tried to think of a plan. After

a few minutes, he got up and said, “I know what to do,” and left the park.

About ten minutes of running later, he arrived at his house. Unfortunately, that was not his

destination. He took a deep breath and went to Aria’s house. Without wasting any time, he pressed

he bell and waited. The door opened, and it was her little brother, “Ruka-niichan!!! Ruka-niichan!!!”

He smiled and said, “Hi there, Kaoru! Is Aria-nee around?” Kaoru answered, “No, Aria-neechan is not

home. Let me call Aoi-niichan.” He ran to the living room and called for his elder brother. Then, Aoi,



who is two years younger than Aria, came out. “Where’s Aria?” Rukawa asked. “She’s at the hospital.

We just got back from there.”

Rukawa was shocked. “What’s wrong with her?” Aoi said, “I would ask, ‘What’s wrong with

you, Ruka-nii?’ You haven’t paid attention to Aria-nee at all since you went to junior high. Yet, she

told me everything about you. She really likes you, Ruka-nii. I don’t want to prolong this

conversation. I just want you to do something for me.” “And what would that be?” Aoi took a deep

breath and said, “Please go to the hospital now and see her before she leaves. Mom told me to go

back home because we don’t want Kaoru to be sad.” Rukawa was stunted with everything that he

just heard, “What do you mean by ‘before she leaves’?” There was a silent. Then, he answered with

a drop of tear streaming down his cheek, “She’s dying.”

Without even realising it, Rukawa was already at the hospital, panting. He did not even care

of neither which route nor how long it would take him, as long as he can reach the hospital in time.

He asked the receptionist for Aria’s room. Then, he stormed towards the stairs, up until the fifth

floor.

“Mom, could you open the curtain?” “Sure thing, sweetheart.” Her mother went towards

the window and opened the curtains. The view from the window was very nice. Aria smiled, “Thank

you, Mom.” The room was quiet and warm. She was under the blanket, keeping her ice-cold body

warm. Her mother looked at her. They were alone in the room. As her mother took a seat next to

the bed, Aria asked, “Mom, have you seen senpai around?” Her mom smiled, “If you’re asking about

Ruka-chan, I’m sorry honey. I haven’t seen him around for quite a while.” She reached for Aria’s

hand. A few moments later, Aria suddenly said, “Mom, could you get the door?” Her mother was

confused, “What do you mean? I don’t hear anyone’s knocking the door.” Aria repeated herself,

“Mom, could you get the door for me?” Looking at her facial expression – the innocent-looking smile

– her mother got no choice but to fulfil the request.

As she opened the door, someone dashed pass her. “Ruka-chan???” Rukawa turned around

and went towards her. He asked, “Where’s Aria, auntie?” The mother placed her index finger above

her lips and smiled, “Shhh…She is expecting you.” The mother invited him and told Aria, “Aria,

there’s someone here coming to see you.” Aria opened her eyes slowly, “Who is it?” Rukawa took a

seat next to the bed and said, “It’s me, Aria.” Aria stared at him in total disbelief, and smiled,

“Rukawa-senpai…I’m so glad to see you.” Her mother took a step back and just watched them from

the corner.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked. “Much better now that you’re here,” she tried to make it

sound cheerful but failed. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school right now, senpai? You even wear

your uniform coming here.” Rukawa held her hands and replied, “I was in school, but I just realised

there’s something much more important to me than the school right now.” There was a silent. Then,

Rukawa asked, “Why did you write me those letters?” Aria hesitated, but she still answered him, “Do

you still remember when you told me that we’re not kids anymore?” suddenly, she coughed. “Are

you okay? Don’t force yourself.” he said. Aria forced a smile, “I’m fine. Anyway, I realised since long

ago that we might not be able to be close like we used to. That’s why I only talked to you through

those letters. I knew that chances of you going to read it is small, but it was worth giving it a shot.

I’m really glad that you read all of them.” Rukawa wondered for a while, “How did you know that I



read them all?” Aria gave a little wink, “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t even be here, would you?”

Rukawa smiled.

There was another silent. Then, Rukawa asked her, “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?”

Aria’s smile faded away as she answered, “I wanted to tell you before; and I did eventually through

the final letter, didn’t I?” Rukawa sighed, “You should tell me earlier. I mean, at least let me know

that you’re not feeling well.” “But you would still give me a reply like ‘So?’ or maybe even ‘Do I really

need to know about that?’ or something like that. Besides, I sent out the final letter a long time ago.

You should already know by then if you just read my letters earlier, should you?” Aria gave a slight

giggle. Rukawa felt guilty. She continued, “Don’t feel bad. Even if I did tell you in person, there’s

nothing that you can do. Even my family can do nothing about this matter. I’m sure that we can still

afford the treatment, if there is any. The thing is that, there’s none; it’s incurable and it was already

fatal by the time we realised its presence.”

Rukawa was lost of words. He already got everything in plan, but after he listened to what

Aria just said, he had nothing to say anymore. He stared blankly into space, when he suddenly felt

her soft, cold hand touched his cheek. She said, “I said not to worry, okay?” His heart ached. He

wondered how can he did not notice the presence of an angel with such care and gentle right in

front of him before. He forced a smile, and said, “I’m sorry, Aria.” Aria looked confused, “Why?” He

took a deep breath and continued, “I’m such a useless senpai. I should have paid more attention to

you. I should just eat all the bento that you’ve prepared for me. I shouldn’t have acted like I never

know you. I should not worry about what others might think if I hang out with you…” he held her

cold hand that was frozen on his cheek and grasped it. He continued, “Aria, as I read your letters, I

really felt like I wanted to meet miss ‘Anonymous’. I never thought that there’s anyone would have

understood me the way you did,” he took another deep breath and carried on, “It was the first time I

was very interested to meet a girl…To be honest, I fell in love with this ‘anonymous’ girl…I fell in love

with you, Aria.”

Pearls of tears were collected in Aria’s eyes, “You’re making this so hard for me, senpai,” she

sobbed. Rukawa wiped her tears away just before they streamed down her face. Even her mother

was holding back her tears. “Senpai…I’m really happy right now…I don’t even care about those bento

anymore…” Rukawa laughed while holding her cheeks, wiping more of her tears, “Among all things,

you can only think about the bento?” Aria giggled again. Suddenly, she coughed non-stop. Both her

mother and Rukawa panicked. They were about to press the button to call the doctors, but Aria

forced herself to sit up and stopped them. “Don’t call them, please mom…senpai…” Aria forced

another smile, and it looked very sincere, “I just want to spend my time with the two of you...only

with the two of you…” Rukawa looked at Aria’s mother; she closed her eyes and turned around.

Rukawa took back his seat and settled Aria back on her bed, “But Aria, we have to call for them, or

else your pain will get worse…”

“I never mention about being in pain, didn’t I?” she said. Then, she held onto her mother’s

blouse. Her mother turned back, with tears pouring from her eyes. Aria said, “Mom, thank you for

taking care of me. I’m really grateful to have you as a mother…to have dad, Aoi and Kaoru…I really

love our family…But I’m sorry that I can’t spend time with you guys anymore…I’m sorry that I can’t

make my special onigiri to Kaoru anymore…I’m sorry that I can’t help you prepare lunch for dad

anymore...” her mother cried and shook her head, “Don’t say the good-bye, dear…” Aria still



continued, “I’m sorry, mom, cause I can’t help Aoi with his homework anymore…I can’t help you

bake cakes during birthdays anymore…I can’t help you clean the house, water the flowers, and buy

the groceries…I can’t help you anymore, mom…I’m sorry…and thank you for being here with me,

mom…I love you…” Her mom shed litres of tears and said, “You’ve been a very wonderful and

fantastic daughter…and you still are…for now, and always…We all love you, Aria…”

Rukawa stared at both of them. He never thought such a scene actually exist in the real

world. Then, Aria turned to face him. She smiled, “Rukawa-senpai…I really like you as Ruka-

chan…but as Rukawa-senpai, I really, really love you…My letters are my feelings…Exactly like I said in

the letters, you’ve been my inspiration…Looking at you had given me strength to fight against this

illness…Even though you were so cold to me, you had always warmed me from the inside,” she held

his hands, as he held hers. He cut her off, “I don’t want to hear it, Aria…” She ignored him, “I looked

at you every day…You’re the first person I searched for when I was down…You’d be the only one I

wanted to share happy news with…You’d be the only one I wanted to go to the matsuri with…You’re

the only one who can take away my sadness without you even realising it…” her grip to his hands

was weakening, “…If possible, I would like you to be by my side…like this…forever…I’m happy when

you’re with me…really happy…I’ll be sad…whenever you lost your smile…and I’ll miss you,

senpai…and I really…love…” she was closing her eyes,”…you…” She breathed out for the last time.

Her mother hugged her while screaming. Her knees became so weak; she eventually fell on

the floor, pulling the blanket with her. Rukawa held Aria’s hand and kissed them, with tears pouring

out from his eyes, “Thank you, Aria…for your feelings…and for not saying good-bye…yet, I’ll never

forgive you…”he looked at her, “…for leaving me behind with this feeling…” he closed his eyes, “…I

love you too, Aria…”

A week has passed by. Rukawa finally can bring himself back to go to school. Yamada quickly

greeted him as he entered the class, “Rukawa, you’re here!!! Finally, I thought you lost your sense of

direction to school already. Hey…did you know…about…Aria?” Rukawa looked at him, smiling. For a

second, Yamada was terrified by the smile while the girls were screaming and hyperventilating after

they saw the smile from their prince charming. Rukawa replied, “I was there when she died…I was

the last person she talked to.” The room went silent. After he took his seat, he continued, “I love

her…and I know she’ll always be by my side…” He patted his bag, right at the pocket where he

placed all her letters to her one and only senpai.

Letters to Senpai.

Documents

Transcript of Letters to Senpai.