1

Case Analysis: Let Me GoHelga Schneider

Case Analysis by Megan PowellPrepared by: Megan Powell

2 Book Summary Helga’s mother abandoned her

family (including Helga, her younger brother, and her father) in 1941 when Helga was just a child. After 30 years of separation, they reunite and Helga learns that her mother left to join the Nazi SS to become a guard at the concentration camps. The book tells of their second and final reunion about 60 years after her mother’s departure.

3 Parenting Styles Affecting Child’s Identity

The style of parenting that a parents assumes can ultimately affect the way the child identifies themselves.

Positive and present parenting styles can lead to a normal identity style, while a negative and/or absent parenting style can lead to complications when a child is trying to identify themselves.

Helga’s mother was absent from her childhood beginning at an early age creating an uninvolved parenting style.

The fact that she was absent can create the negative feeling towards her mother.

I believe the absence was more detrimental to how Helga identifies herself and relates to her mother.

4 Attachment in Childhood It is suggested that a child’s development

goes hand in hand with the attachment they share with their parent.

The attachment of a child correlates with their adjustment and how they will interact with others as they age.

Helga had a disorganized attachment with her mother.

Even as an adult she exhibits a confusion when reunited with her mother. Her behavior prior to the actual reunion was avoidant at best.

At reunion Helga had a feeling of confusion, torn between their history and biology.

5

Attachment in Adulthood

Style of attachment as adults stems from our personal practices.

3 oppositions: self versus other, autonomy versus relatedness, and dependent versus depended-on positions

However, I believe the we attach as adults is the way we attached as children or the way we saw adults attach to one another when we were still young and impressionable.

Helga experiences a preoccupied attachment.

Stems from disorganized attachment as child.

6

Role Reversal Child dons the role/responsibilities of the parent, while the parent assumes the role of child. Gender specific role reversals are common. Role reversal affects not only parent and child but the family

as a whole Helga assumed the role reversal upon the reunion with her

mother. Despite the fact that she has much anger/resentment towards

her mother, she still helped her mother do small things. She also bribed her mother like one would a child. “If you do

what you’re supposed to, I will give you candy”, clearly in different words but the context is the same.

7 The Sandwich Generation The stage in life when roles are

flipped and the child is now taking care of the aging parent.

Helga experiences this role when she sees her aging mother sitting in a wheelchair facing the window.

Triggered by her biology she helps her mother up, she helps her to sit down, etc.

I do not find this to be the same as the role reversal.

Role reversal is all about the emotional side of the relationship. Helga is merely becoming her mother’s crutch and physical strength.

8

Stress and the Brain It is suggested that an area in the brain

connected to memory was smaller in children experiencing chronic stress compared to children who do not suffer from as much stress.

Putting such an amount of stress on a child could be considered emotional or psychological abuse.

Helga’s mother’s leaving at such a young age and for such a vile reason could have caused a great deal of stress or psychological abuse on her, allowing her the parts of her brain that access memory to decrease.

From the perspective given in the book it would seem that the only memories she holds of her mother are of a negative nature. One must wonder if the reason behind only the negative memories is that her brain is only holding on to the strongest memories because it only has room for only so many

9 Memory Recall Positive or negative memories affect the way someone recalls a

memory, or reminisces.

Results show that the authorization of reminiscing functions were affected by the type of memory (good or bad).

Helga recalls several memories involving her mother, most of which are negative memories.

It can be seen the physical affect these memories have on her when she describes a struggle to breathe and difficulty standing.

I believe her mother’s absence and their history also affect the she recalls her memories and her reaction to those memories

10Parent-Child Dynamic

Our parent-child dynamic can affect our capacity to love others.

Early struggles in life with our parents can affect the way we relate to others as adults as we grow older.

From first interaction with her mother there is somewhat of an emotional disconnect.

She is struggling to feel that love that should be engrained in her biology.

She feels as much emotion for her mother at first glance as she would sitting next to a stranger on a bus.

11 Death Anxiety Death and the anxiety it creates can affect a person’s behavior and

social interactions.

Culture is also a large factor in how a person handle’s death.

Most religions and/or cultures have a stance on death, so they found that also plays a factor in how death affects people as individuals and as a society.

I believe it was the anxiety death creates in a person was Helga’s driving force to give in and try once again to visit her mother.

Helga feels the anxiety of her mother’s demise because once her mother is gone, all hope at gaining a connection is lost.

12 Predicted Outcome for Helga Schneider (emotionally)

I feel as if the final meeting between Helga and her mother is only going to be beneficial to her in the long run. It had its ups and its downs but it also gave her some closure with her mother’s leaving. She now knows what all her mother did during their time apart, how it affected her mother, and she now knows where her mother is and how she is doing. She finally made a connection with her mother, good or bad, it is a connection she wanted. No matter what their past was like it is still her mother and knowing she is well (as well as she can be) and safe could be nothing but a relief for her.

13

ReferencesRatner, K. (2013). The Role of Parenting and Attachment in Identity Style Development. University of Central Florida Undergraduate Research Journal, 7(1), 15-26.

Goldner, L., & Scharf, M. (n.d.). Attachment Security,Personality, and Adjustment of Elementary SchoolChildren. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 473-493.

Sochos, A. (n.d.). The Defining Constituents of Adult Attachment and Their Assessment. Journal of Adult Development, 87-99.

Macfie, J., Mcelwain, N., Houts, R., & Cox, M. (n.d.).Intergenerational Transmission Of Role Reversal Between Parent And Child: Dyadic And Family Systems Internal Working Models. Attachment & Human Development, 51-65.

Vollrath, M. (2001). Personality and stress. ScandinavianJournal of Psychology, 42(4), 335-347.

Berk, L. (2014). PART VIII Middle Adulthood. In Exploringlifespan development (Third ed.). Pearson

Education.

14

References Continued…Hayslip, B., Schuler, E., Page, K., & Carver, K. (n.d.).Probabilistic Thinking and Death Anxiety: ATerror Management Based Study. Omega: Journal ofDeath & Dying, 69(3), 249-270.

Kindsvatter, A., & Geroski, A. (n.d.). The Impact of EarlyLife Stress on the Neurodevelopment of the Stress Response System. Journal of Counseling &Development, 92(4), 472-480.

Ratner, K. (2013). The Role of Parenting and Attachment in Identity Style Development. University of Central Florida Undergraduate Research Journal, 7(1), 15-26.

Mclean, K., & Lilgendahl, J. (2008). Why Recall Our Highs and Lows: Relations Between Memory Functions, Age, and Well-being. Memory, 16(7), 751-762.

Karen, R. (1998). Becoming attached: First relationships and how they shape ourcapacity to love. New York: Oxford University Press.