Lesson 5How Healthy is the Relationship?

Is It a Healthy Relationship?

1. Is it Controlling? OR Equal & Supportive?

2. Is it Conditional? OR Unconditional?

3. Is it mostly about OR Is attraction on sex or money? many levels?

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Sculpting Activity1. Read and discuss the card:

• Have you seen any relationships like this in real life? • What behaviors would be seen in that type of

relationship?• How would it feel if you were in this relationship?

2. Brainstorm symbols, images or scenes that would represent this kind of relationship.

3. Make a sculpture to represent it.

Controlling & Disrespectful

• She has to answer to him. She has to beg for permission to see her friend (green figure on the side), or to do anything.

• The girl is bowing down to the guy.• The orange line represents that he feels she is not

even worthy to step on his side.

Unconditional – Friendship Bracelet• Heart: symbolizes love• Basketball: a symbol of

encouragement of each other’s hobbies

• Ring: symbol of the desire to be a giving person on every level

• Flower: a symbol of beauty and love of nature

• Pink Ribbon to symbolize encouragement through difficult times

Attraction on many levels

• Red heart = Two people joined by heart

• Perfect triangle = they have a balanced amount of love and happiness. Same sex couple.

• Color & Size differences = enjoy their differences

• Each of them is holding a beer bottle to symbolize “drunk on each other’s love”

What does the word say to you?

Healthy?

Unhealthy?

Self-Assess to Find out if a Relationship is Healthy

Workbook p xx

• Examine a current or past relationship (or a friend’s).• Ask the 3 questions. • Put an “X” on the line to best represent how the

relationship feels.• Identify three behaviors to make the relationship

healthier.• AARon: Should put a scale like in workbook at bottom

here (just a horizontal line with little vertical lines – word healthy on one side and unhealthy on other

Basic Human Needs

Physical Emotional

Social Mental

Brad - Looking Back…

Fun is important for relationships!

• Plan for fun—don’t get lazy.

• Mix it up. Do different things.

Brainstorm Fun Ideas

Create a list of ideas according to:

• COST: Free, low-cost, medium-cost, & higher price

• TIME: half an hour, a couple hours, an evening, a whole day and a weekend. And, don’t forget to throw in a “dream” idea or two.

• VARIETY: Mix it up—don’t always do the same thing. Try new things!

14 Tips for Teens

• Read through the 14 tips and star four or five you find personally useful. Why?

• Ask your parent or trusted adult to look at the list and star the four or five they think are most important.

• Compare lists and discuss your reasons.

Parent-Teen Connection (pick one)• Ask your parent or trusted adult to read 14 Tips for Teens and:

– star the four they think most important and tell you why they picked those four.

– Compare with your top picks and discuss.

• Take Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships handout and ask your parent or trusted adult to read the three contrasting questions.– Ask if they think these three questions are good ones to ask in

judging a relationship. – Which question do they feel is most important? – Do they have another question to suggest?

ATTRACTION ON MANY LEVELSNOT JUST PHYSICAL

• The couple is on a date walking at the mall.

• The guy bought the girl flowers (mini-marshmallows on toothpick).

• They are spending time and getting to know each other.

• They are having fun, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company (pink heart).

• The rainbow colored sticks under them represent friendship to love and so many levels of communication.

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CONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIP• Conditional relationships

make you worry about being “good enough.” Your partner often makes you feel little.

• You worry about him or her cheating on you; leaving you for someone else. There’s little trust.

• The girl on the right has binoculars. She’s looking through the bushes and trees spying on her man.

• She sees her boyfriend of 2 years at another girl’s house.

MOSTLY ABOUT SEX OR MATERIAL STUFF

• It’s mostly about two people who only have sex with each other.

• They are in a fancy bed (marshmallows on sticks represent fancy bedposts to show that’s all they value.) She wears fancy underwear.

• But, they are caged in with each other (represented by pipe cleaner rope around the bed) because nothing else is important.

• There’s not much else to their relationship.