8/2/2019 Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

1/4

Smitley 1

Leah Smitley

Ms. Caruso

English 1202-Final Project

April 11, 2012

In Awe of the Vanderbilts

The Vanderbilt family may be the most widely known family in the 1800s and 1900s in

America who changed the culture of North Carolina. The family was compared to royalty

because of their wealth, social status and the way society viewed them. Love, though, is not

always an adjective that comes to mind when discussing the Vanderbilts. In the proposed book,

In Awe of the Vanderbilts, love is shown by how it is expressed and how it is completely

ignored. George Washington Vanderbilt II is noted for being a fair and just employer, yet in the

book he is made out to be a material man who thinks of business more than family. Although his

personality may be kind when looking on the surface, it is narrator that shows his true colors.

George and Edith are the main benefactors to how betrayal can occur in even the most structured

home. In Awe of the Vanderbilts is meant to be a simple story with twists to show a timeless

family and a back-story no one has heard before.

The beginning of the book starts when the main character is twelve years old, yet many

events that happened in the past are mentioned such as when George built the Biltmore, married

Edith and when they had Cornelia. It is not reveled until much later that Brooklynn, the main

character and Theodoor, another important character, are actually twins. The book goes in a

chronological order, but she, the narrator, remembers and learns things from the past. An

important part of the whole book is that Brooklynn is the narrator and talks from first person, but

every few chapters Theodoor becomes the narrator and the readers can hear his point of view.

Comment [A1]: Reviewed by Aaron Crumbley

Comment [A2]: Pretty good intro paragraph, theset up is filled with interesting ideas that seem deep.

Comment [A3]: Possibly say this a different way,make it a bit more interesting?

8/2/2019 Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

2/4

Smitley 2

This type of book will allow readers to know the inside feelings of two characters and how the

view the same situation. It is interesting to see how twins living in the same home, but growing

up differently will think the same, yet act differently. The beginning of the book is centered on

how Brooklynn is raised by the famous Vanderbilt family and what her life consists of. This part

is very inward centered. She describes her feelings towards her family and towards herself;

readers come to know who she is and what motives her actions.

The middle portion ofIn Awe of the Vanderbilts is when there is more interaction

between characters. Brooklynn meets Amery and their relationship grows to a romantic love.

Brooklynn talks to Theodoor more and feels certain a connection, that she isnt sure she wants to

have. Brooklynn begins to come into her own and starts to question the world she was raised in.

Her problems may seem small, but as she ages and her life becomes more complicated her

problems grow and how she handles them is more mature manner. Theodoor is going through the

same problems of not belonging. He loves his family and has no problem with them, but

somewhere in the deepest part of his soul he is missing something. He feels an ache when he

thinks of living a different life. An ache of guilt for thinking he should be somewhere else and an

ache of sadness because he longs to be where his heart knows he should be. This part of the book

is meant to create anticipation. The reader knows none of the information, but they know

something big is going to happen. All the characters have confusion and question their lives or

choices. George and Edith wonder if they made the right decision eighteen years ago, Amery

questions his father about his loves past. Brooklynn and Theodoor are confused about the

emptiness they feel. The middle part of the book is there to add interactions between characters,

show how their lives are changed by the split and builds anticipation.

Comment [A4]: Seems like a ton of information,maybe elaborate on some key events and go intodetail about them and eliminate some other things.

Comment [A5]: Very interesting concept, excitedto see how this turns out.

Comment [A6]: Good few sentences elaboratingon Theodoors emotions. This is what I meant aboutelaborating on earlier ideas.

Comment [A7]: Good second page overall, clearand full of detailed information that keeps mefocused.

8/2/2019 Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

3/4

Smitley 3

The last section of the book is all about the characters finding out the truth and how it

affects the rest of their lives. Amerys father was there when the twins were separated; Amery

finally gets his father to confess. With this knowledge Amery tells the woman he loves,

Brooklynn. There are secrets said throughout the book that finally make sense. In context the

readers realizes they were talking about the separation. Brooklynn freaks out and doesnt know

what to do. She is so angry that she storms into her parents room and confronts them about it all.

At that moment the readers learn the whole truth in order and everything is out in the air. There

is a huge argument and confrontation. The next day Theodoor is sent away before he can learn

the truth of his life. He joins the French Foreign Legion, looking for something to invest his new

strange life in. Within a year he is killed in battle. While he is in France, Brooklynn and Amery

run away together and end up getting married in Kansas. George erases Brooklynn from the

family line and tries to cover up the whole mess without anyone knowing. Cornelia marries a

rich man and the Vanderbilts are saved from bankruptcies, yet everyone feels differently than

they expected. George dies after Cornelias wedding from a heart attack due to stress. Edith

remarries mainly to change her last name and to try to forget her mistakes. Cornelia makes the

Biltmore public and moves out because she cant stand to live in a home with such horrible

memories; she later gets a divorce because she feels her marriage is a fake. The Vanderbilt

family is in shambles and nothing is the same.

The book, In Awe of the Vanderbilts challenges the well known Vanderbilt family by

creating a story that is suppose to be a deep, secretive narrative of inside the home and away

from the public. This book is a mysterious, historical, love story that can grab the attention of

just about anyone. The book is about a simple family with complex problems and intense

feelings.

Comment [A8]: Not sure what this sentencemeans?

Comment [A9]: Change this sentence to be a bitmore clear.

Comment [A10]: Feel like things are movingfast, maybe thats how this paper should be but lessinformation with more detail is better

Comment [A11]: Wow, a dramatic change fromthe whole tempo of the book it seems.

Comment [A12]: Overall I think the concept is agreat idea and you have plenty of information, Iwould say maybe either take out some informationor just elaborate on everything and make the paper abit longer. Everything seems to be there and theideas you pose are definitely very intriguing, I wouldread this book if it was published. Your introduction

is very well written, although there could be some

length put into the conclusion just to sum up thepaper as a whole. Your purpose was knownthroughout the paper and the only thing whenrevising I would focus on is little grammar andspelling errors.

8/2/2019 Leahs Paper Peer Reviewed

4/4

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