Leadership Programme 2012Session 6: Influence

Mark Eyre – Brilliant Futures

Check in

• How are you feeling?

• What did you learn from your success criterion coaching conversation?

Session outcomes

• Understand different influencing approaches, and when to use them.

• Practice different influencing styles

• Prepare for a ‘real life’ influencing scenario

Session agenda

• An influence model

• ‘Push’ and ‘pull’ approaches

• Non-verbal behaviour

• Practical session

Influence Model

Asserting

• Gut based, asserting your will

• Statement of what you want to do yourself, or what you want another to do

• Could you... I’d like... I want... I demand

• Firm tone of voice

• Strong body language

Proposing

• Head-based, rational

• Open to influence on rational grounds

• I propose, think, suggest, recommend, strongly recommend that... My reasons for this are...

• Use when you have data, evidence or opinion, and situation is open to logic

• Tone of voice – calm, even paced

• Body language controlled

Empathising

• Active listening and exploring

• Open ended questions to clarify position

• Non-judgmental

• Reflect back and summarise

• Warm tone of voice

• Body language – open / relaxed, warm eye contact

Disclosing

• Sharing experience that may be helpful to another

• Anecdotes, stories

• Builds trust when relevant and genuine

• When done appropriately, it encourages openness in return

• Open body language

Exercise – My strengths & challenges

• Complete individually first, using the questionnaire

• Discuss results in twos and threes

I will act as timekeeper!

Influencing skills practice session

• Focus on asserting and empathising

• Experiment & have fun!

Asserting exercise• In pairs / trios, each to take turn

• Part 1 – “I want you to take a step back”. Receiver takes small step back if influenced

• Give speaker brief assertive feedback, then repeat several times

• Part 2 – “I have a loud enough voice to influence assertively”

• Give speaker thumb down, thumb up, thumb over feedback

• Repeat, turning up the volume until seen as aggressive

Empathising exercise

• In pairs / trios

• Speaker takes issue they want to talk about, from the list or their own issue

• Empathiser’s role is to empathise – listening, clarifying questions, summarising. No conversation, opinions or sympathy!

• Feedback at end – how it felt to listen / be listened to

• Repeat, taking turns

Scenario planning

• Using questionnaire checklist, plan for influencing situation at work

• Identify appropriate influencing style(s)

• Chat to neighbour if time permits

Homework for session 7

• Analyse your influencing performance in the scenario you’ve just planned – record in learning journal

• Discuss your findings with your coach

• Using the scenario planning approach, identify opportunities to influence in the future

The End