Leadership and Management Skills for Women

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Leadership and Management Skills for WomenPARTICIPANT WORKBOOK

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Tribal

Table of ContentsOpening Session ............................................................................................................................................................................... 05

See Yourself — and Be Seen by Others — as a Leader ............................................................................................................ 06

Project Credibility and Earn the Respect You Deserve ............................................................................................................14

Always Communicate Purposefully and Meaningfully ........................................................................................................... 20

Light the Fire in Your Team…and Keep the Flame Burning ................................................................................................... 28

Turn Around Challenges and Become an Opportunity-Driven Leader .............................................................................. 40

Assess Where You Stand — and Where to Go From Here .......................................................................................................47

Action Planning Worksheet ........................................................................................................................................................... 57

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Leadership and Management Skills for Women

05

Opening SessionWelcome to a course of discovery that includes professional and personal development—a

workshop about engagement and enrichment. We want you to get the most out of this training

experience, so let’s start by sharing why we’re here and what’s in store for you in this seminar.

Key points Take-aways

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

XLMSW2_M1H210211 06 See Yourself — and Be Seen by Others — as a Leader

See Yourself — and Be Seen by Others — as a Leader

“As you become more successful, the gender barrier disappears. The credibility challenges you have during your growing up years starts disappearing when you start demonstrating success.”

— Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw

In order to be seen by others as a leader, we first need to see ourselves as leaders. What it takes to do that

is a complex subject. Social scientists have spent decades studying how individuals achieve status within

organizational groups — in other words, how does a person gain respect, prominence and influence in the eyes

of others? Legitimate measures include expertise, competence, composure and commitment. In this section,

you’ll learn about the various aspects that make up how you can see yourself and be seen by others as a leader.

Learning objectives

• Describe how to project leadership credibility and professionalism.

• Distinguish yourself professionally by creating your own personal brand.

• Understand how to counter gender bias.

• Understand your leadership style and know how to play into your strengths.

• Recognize how to increase your visibility in your organization.

XLMSW2_M1H210211 See Yourself — and Be Seen by Others — as a Leader 07

Overcome the Labels Women Sometimes Get Saddled WithWhen strong leadership becomes synonymous with negative labels like “bossy,” “controlling” and “demanding,”

the female leader has not only lost her power, but often her respect as well.

• Keep in mind that professional behavior, demeanor and confidence are not gender-based — leadership is

all about being real and developing the qualities that “state” who you are as a leader

• To find your own style, you need realistic assessments — ones that tell you where you need to develop a

more professional presence

Adapted from http://www.levo.com/articles/career-advice/how-women-can-balance-strong-leadership-authenticity

Honestly Assess Where You Need ImprovementSelf-assessment is a useful tool to identify areas of needed improvement. Use this self-quiz to take an honest

look at your leadership skills and the areas you need to improve.

Think about each of the following statements honestly. Mark the appropriate (Sometimes, Never, Always) button

based on your assessment.

S N AMy style of communication always gets the point across.

I have been told I give helpful feedback to team members.

I would say that when it comes to motivating team members, I am the best.

I have the reputation for being tolerant of people with different views, values

and lifestyles.

Most people would describe me as highly credible.

I am known for not backing down from a conflict.

I would say I know where I am headed professionally and how to get there.

My supervisory capabilities are above average.

I am comfortable demonstrating my leadership at all levels in my organization.

I am fully aware of my natural strengths and I rely on them to get my job done.


Statements that you assessed as always: Continue to excel in these necessary leadership characteristics.

Statements that you assessed as sometimes: These are areas you need to continue to address to be a

competent leader.

Statements that you assessed as never: These areas should become strong areas of focus in your quest to

improve your leadership skills.

Self-assessment should take place on a regular basis. Looking at the areas that you marked “sometimes” or

“never,” consider what you can do, long- and short-term, to improve your skills.

Your Leadership Identity…How You Are Seen as a Strong Leader Some women feel they have to overcompensate by being better than everyone else at their job. Others change

their leadership style based on the people they are working with. An effective balance includes maintaining

credibility through authoritative decision-making skills and including and engaging others in the decision-

making process.

EXERCISE

As a leader in your field, you may have dealt with people who weren’t used to women in positions of

leadership. With a partner, describe how you were able to demonstrate leadership characteristics

that made you credible. What effect did it have on others? Be prepared to share your best ideas.


Strip Back the Layers and Create Your Own Personal BrandIn the world of business, many people see themselves as a product or a commodity to sell, but this is

not what personal branding is all about. Personal branding is about taking the cookie-cutter approach

to business out of the equation and creating a meaningful professional profile so you can be known as a

distinguished professional.

The way to craft your personal branding position is based on a mix of factors that include your experience,

leadership and passion.

EXPERIENCE

This is not the classic resume

definition, which is a breakdown

of years on the job and an

overview of work completed.

This is an approach that

positions how you evolved and

grew as a professional during

that time frame — not a bulleted

list, but rather a curriculum vitae

of your contributions.

LEADERSHIP

This is not another fill-in-

the-blank timeline. When

leadership is introduced

into the personal

branding position, it’s all

about your intellectual

accomplishments.

During your tenure, what

thoughts, ideas, changes

and innovations did you

bring to your team, your

company, your customers

and your field?

PASSION

No great personal branding

position is complete without this

all-important component. Why

you do what you do matters.

Your personal branding position

should include the important

reasons you love what you do

and how you uniquely complete

this work exceptionally. This is

all about what drives you, and

it should be expressed in the

most honest and authentic

way possible.


Tips for Writing Your Personal Branding StatementThe personal branding statement is the value you bring to the professional world. The statement should be the

best reflection of your professional self. Here are a few tips that will help you create the best personal branding

statement possible:

Be brief and keep the content simple.

Highlight your professional abilities, talents and skill sets.

Use clear and concise language (write like you speak).

Be memorable (make an impression with your words).

Use visualizations (paint a professional portrait of yourself).

Make sure you’ll be clearly understood by any audience.

Five Leadership Tests No Woman EscapesMen and women share many common obstacles in their leadership roles: poor team motivation, conflict,

cutbacks, etc. Perceived or real, women leaders are tested in many other ways, mostly within themselves.

Proving themselves worthy

A belief by some that they are naive

Stereotyping by othersThe need to be the company conscience

The need to be liked and accepted

1

2

34

5


Countering Gender BiasStereotypes are not always negative, but because they disregard a person’s individual abilities, they

tend to be prejudicial. Negative stereotypes clearly impede a person’s ability to fulfill their potential by

limiting opportunities.

• Stay balanced.

• Keep an eye out for opportunities;

be willing to take risks and grow.

• Be yourself.

• Walk the talk — be a role model for staff with

good leadership behaviors.

• Speak up — if someone makes a “gender”

joke, challenge them.

Women shouldn’t try to be “one of the boys” or “act like a man” by being someone they’re not. If a woman tries

to take on a male persona just to fit in, others will mistrust her actions and anything she says.

Understand Your Leadership Style and Play Into Your StrengthsThere are three main leadership styles: Autocratic, Democratic and Free-Rein. While each style has its strengths,

an effective leader uses a blended style by implementing the best of each.

AUTOCRATIC DEMOCRATIC

FREE-REIN BLENDED

Makes decisions, expects compliance, is punitive and dogmatic

Seeks input/feedback, shares decision making, rewards participation, acts with group’s approval

Relinquishes independent decision-making authority, exerts little authority, expects autonomy and independence from others, views leader’s role as an interface between people and the tools they need

Adapts to the needs of group members, evaluates projects, conditions and employees to determine how to respond, coaches team members


Five Specific Actions to Improve Your Leadership ProwessTo be an effective leader, you must have a balanced and forward-thinking attitude in addition to

executive competence.

Improve your leadership effectiveness by:

Balancing your work life with your personal life

Displaying good emotional intelligence

Improving your communication skills

Networking with others

Working with a mentor

Two Types of Networks That Are Helpful to You Networking is a powerful tool that can help determine the career opportunities and choices that are right

for you.

The two types of networks that are extremely helpful are:

A network that offers

resources for career planning

1

A network that offers

support and opinions

2

Usually, you’ll benefit from having different people in each network to fulfill these very different needs.


To network successfully:

• Be friendly and interested.

• Be willing to help others.

• Be a good listener.

• Remember opportunities are everywhere.

• Have a strategy for making quality connections.

Increasing Your Visibility: How to Overcome the Double Bind Women Often Find Themselves InWomen often find themselves involved with behind-the-scenes “invisible work” that doesn’t get recognized. To

make yourself visible, try these suggestions:

Take calculated risks with high visibility.

When offered additional responsibilities, take them.

Identify needs and come up with suggestions

and solutions.

Find opportunities to speak in front of

upper management.

Conclusion

To be successful as a woman in leadership today, you need to present yourself as authentic and professional.

Using personal branding, understanding possible biases you encounter, taking advantage of networking and

demonstrating credibility will help you in today’s competitive business world. In the next section, you’ll learn

more about credibility and how to earn the respect you deserve.

XLMSW2_M2H210211 14 Project Credibility and Earn the Respect You Deserve

Project Credibility and Earn the Respect You Deserve

“In government institutions and in teaching, you need to inspire confidence. To achieve credibility, you have to very clearly explain what you are doing and why. The same principles apply to businesses.”

— Janet Yellen

In management, you have to project credibility and earn the respect of your team members, peers and upper

management or you risk having no real influence and being overlooked. Your credentials can be impressive, yet

to succeed, you have to project credibility. In this section, you will learn certain aspects of having credibility and

earning respect.

Learning objectives

• Explain how to separate being liked from being respected.

• Describe credibility-robbing mistakes.

• Understand emotional intelligence and its importance in management.

XLMSW2_M2H210211 Project Credibility and Earn the Respect You Deserve 15

Stop Trying to “Fit In” — Reap the Benefits of Being Who You Are and FlourishAs the scientist and inventor Robert Jarvik once said, “Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of

fear and no concept of the odds against them.”

According to Matt Symonds,

a Forbes.com contributor,

conversations with C-level

executives at companies all over

the world have suggested a few

other traits that distinguish

today’s top women in business.

1. Know thyself.

2. Find the right corporate culture.

3. Don’t wait to be tapped on the shoulder.

4. Build a network.

5. Negotiate.

6. Don’t try to always plan ahead.

Adapted from www.forbes.com/sites/mattsymonds/2012/08/10-traits-of-women-business-leaders-its-not-what-you-think/

How to Separate Being Liked From Being RespectedYour team members may like you, but do they respect you? Everyone has a need to be liked, but leaders must

learn to separate the desire to be liked from the need to make effective decisions.

Decision making and problem solving based on what is best for the company may not always be interpreted as

what is best for each individual. However, leadership that directs from this perspective will earn you the respect

you deserve. Being liked may come with the respect, but it should not direct your decisions or leadership.

“A good leader is not necessarily the most popular person in their business, but the best ones are liked because they are respected for their clarity and vision.”

— Alan Sugar


How to Stop Talking too Fast, Apologizing, Over-Explaining — and Making Other Credibility-Robbing Mistakes

Acting like a man won’t build your credibility, but implementing these suggestions will:

• Offer a firm and confident handshake (or other greeting).

• Establish and maintain eye contact.

• Don’t apologize for being right or for expecting people to do their jobs.

• Apologize only for circumstances that you have control over.

• Get a handle on your emotions — if you have to cry, do it in private.

Emotional Intelligence — a Leadership RequirementDon’t mistake emotional intelligence as a woman’s trait or need. It’s a solid requirement for all leaders if they

want to be truly good leaders and effective with decision making, conflict management, problem solving and a

host of other responsibilities.

Understanding emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to be aware of one’s own

emotions and those of others and regulate personal emotions to facilitate effective

thinking, action and relationships.

People with high emotional intelligence will have more confidence and trust in themselves and a

greater understanding of others and, therefore, more empathy for them. So they will build stronger

relationships and experience more achievement, love and joy in their lives.


The impact of emotional intelligence on your professional success

Your IQ may get you hired, but it’s your “EI” that will get you promoted.

• Emotional intelligence was tested alongside 33 other important workplace behaviors. It was more

important than time management, motivation, vision and communication.

• It’s the single best predictor of performance in the workplace.

• It’s the strongest force behind leadership and personal excellence.

• Research has shown that people low in emotional intelligence and job performance can catch up with

co-workers who excel in both by simply working to improve their emotional intelligence

Adapted from Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

Core competencies of emotional intelligence

SELF-AWARENESS SELF-REGULATION

SOCIAL AWARENESS

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

People with high emotional intelligence are self-aware. They are capable of recognizing their emotions as they experience them.

This includes the ability to control your emotions and impulses.

People with social awareness are typically team players. They manage disputes capably and are excellent communicators.

This element includes teamwork and collaboration such as working with others toward shared goals.


A New Mental Script for Controlling Your Behaviors and ImpulsesYou can help control your behavior, tendencies and impulses by developing a new mental script.

When you begin to experience warning signs:

• Pause to understand what you are thinking and feeling: “I can pinpoint what is upsetting me.”

• Remember, you control your emotions: “I need to remember to stay calm.”

• Remember, you determine how you react: “It is in my best interest not to lose my temper.”

• Develop a new mental script for how you will react: “I will not lose my temper. Instead, I will discuss the

situation in a professional manner.”

The RCF (Relax, Catch yourself thinking, Find the causes) formula for stopping automatic responses

It may often seem as if your emotional response occurs before you even have a chance of stopping or controlling

it. Kind of like a sneeze — you may know it is coming, but you can’t stop it. Well, fortunately, you can stop

automatic responses that you are likely to regret later.

Steps to stopping automatic responses:

Relax: Relaxation helps you

think clearly. When you’re

relaxed, you become aware of

what’s happening with your

emotions, body and mind.

Find the causes: Discover

the true causes for your strong

reactions such as anger,

revenge, fear or sorrow.

Catch yourself thinking: Now recall how you felt and

what you were thinking when

the event happened.

R C F


Gain and Maintain Your CredibilityBottom line: It’s your everyday behaviors and dealings with people that will build and maintain your credibility.

Examples:

1. Be consistent in your dealings with others.

2. Control your emotions.

3. Build rapport — make it a priority.

4. Treat team members as individuals.

5. Inspire others and make team members feel appreciated.

EXERCISE

What are other examples? What are credibility-robbers?

Conclusion

Being seen as a credible professional is an important part of being a great leader. Use the strategies discussed in

this section to earn the respect you deserve. In the next section, you’ll learn how to communicate with purpose

and how that impacts your leadership.

XLMSW2_M3H210211 20 Always Communicate Purposefully and Meaningfully

Always Communicate Purposefully and Meaningfully

“Intelligence, knowledge or experience are important and might get you a job, but strong communication skills are what will get you promoted.”

— Mireille Guiliano

The most important skill in management, and perhaps the most underrated and misunderstood skill, is

communication. People, including managers, take a lot for granted with communication and make a lot of

assumptions. Purposeful and meaningful communication is critical for success, not only in understanding goals,

values and priorities, but in morale and a working atmosphere.

Learning objectives

• Discuss why listening is an integral part of communication.

• Identify how to communicate effectively in meetings and one-on-one.

• List tips for speaking comfortably in front of any group.

XLMSW2_M3H210211 Always Communicate Purposefully and Meaningfully 21

Listening Can Make You a Better LeaderIt stands to reason that as a leader, you must have effective listening skills in order to be effective with people at

all levels.

Build and maintain professional relationships.

Communicate effectively.

Understand concerns and issues with change, processes and personnel.

Solve problems.

Manage conflict. Influence and persuade.

As a leader, effective listening helps you:


Use active listening techniques to become a better leader

For effective communication, the speaker and listener must have a mutual understanding. There are specific

“listener” actions that can greatly increase successful and effective communication.

Specific listener actions:

STAY FOCUSED.

• Remove as many distractions

as possible.

• Turn your computer monitor off and

stop working on other tasks while the

speaker is talking.

• Place your telephone on silent or

hold calls.

• Concentrate on what the speaker is

saying instead of thinking ahead about

your response or questions.

TAKE NOTES.

• Keep a written record for follow-up

(if needed).

• Keep track of areas of agreement.

• Keep track of unspoken thoughts.

• Pause to organize your thoughts and to

consider before responding.

ASK QUESTIONS.

• Seek clarification as needed.

• Ask for more depth if necessary.

LISTEN FOR THE UNSPOKEN (FEELING) AS WELL AS THE SPOKEN.

• This type of communication may be

conveyed nonverbally through silence

and body language or verbally through

tone and inflection.

AVOID SELECTIVE LISTENING

• Listen to everything that is said, not just

to what you want to hear.


Getting Heard in Meetings: Pounding the Table Won’t Work, but These Tips Will You’re in a room full of top executives and leaders. Everyone seems to have something to say, and you can’t get a

word in edgewise. Try these tips to get your message heard:

Speak up early so that you will be recognized.

Speak concisely so others don’t get distracted.

Always be prepared. Take the time to prepare to speak in a meeting even if you have not been asked

to speak.

Speak when you have something important to say, not just to agree with someone else.

Consider the culture of your business. You may have to interrupt someone in order to say anything.

Know when to listen. Talking too much can be even worse than not talking at all.


Breakdowns in Communication — if You Can’t Get Your Message Across, People Can’t Act on It

Communication/listening blockers

These roadblocks can stop effective communication dead in its tracks. Make sure you avoid them.

1. Lack of active listening

2. Too many “Why” questions

3. Quick reassurances

4. Advising

5. Probing and digging

for information

6. Patronizing

7. Interrupting

Effective communication techniques

For successful communication, people need to tune in to your message so there is no chance

for misunderstanding.

• Get your message across in a clear and concrete fashion.

• Watch your tone of voice.

• Be aware of your volume.

• Watch your speed.

• Enunciate your words.

• Take hints from the other speaker.

• Set up the parameters of the conversation.

• Balance the conversation.


Overcome Presentation Nervousness and Speak Comfortably Before Groups of Any SizePresentation skills are critical for today’s business professional. How you present information to a group can

determine the influence you have with others; it can also affect your credibility and make a dramatic difference

when getting your message across to listeners.

Techniques for turning pre-speech jitters into positive energy

1. Try to pinpoint the cause of

your nervousness.

2. Prepare well ahead of time and

rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.

3. Use the power of positive self-talk

to raise your self-expectations and

improve your performance.

4. Inhale deeply several times. Tighten

all your muscles and then relax

them all at once. Repeat until you

no longer feel tense.

5. Use affirmations to relax.

6. Find “supporters.” You can do

this by arriving early and meeting

audience members in advance.

7. Maintain eye contact, especially

with your supporters.

8. Speak in a controlled, firm voice

(but not monotones).


How to Courteously but Firmly Take Back the Floor in Meetings When InterruptedCompany culture and norms must be considered with any behaviors. However, to be seen as a leader, you must

“work on yourself” and learn to feel comfortable speaking up and taking back the floor when interrupted. The

key is to be diplomatic but not passive.

• Acknowledge what the other person said and thank them for their input.

• When offering a contradictory comment, after acknowledging what the other person said, offer your

opinion. Be ready to back up your opinion or suggestions with facts and/or rationale.

• Keep your message clear and focused to promote credibility.

• Be assertive, not passive or aggressive.

• Don’t apologize or say you’re sorry.

How to Say “No” When Appropriate— Without Sounding Like the “Queen of Mean”Many women are people pleasers and perceive saying “no” as a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, there are only

so many hours in the day, and sometimes you just have to do it. Try the USA method to say “no” appropriately.

U Understanding statement “I understand…”

S Situation statement: “Here’s the situation…”

A Action statement: “Here’s what I can do…”


EXERCISE

You’re stretched to the maximum and have just been asked to take on another project with a tight

deadline. Although you would like to help, you must say “no” or you’ll risk missing deadlines on your

other projects. Use the USA method to say “no” appropriately (and without guilt).

Understanding statement: “I understand…”

Situation statement: “Here’s the situation…”

Action statement: “Here’s what I can do…”

Conclusion

Always communicating purposefully and meaningfully will help make you a powerful, credible and respected

leader. Use these techniques to hone your abilities in communication. In the next section, you’ll learn how to

light the fire in your team and keep it burning.

XLMSW2_M4H210211 28 Light the Fire in Your Team…and Keep the Flame Burning

Light the Fire in Your Team… and Keep the Flame Burning

“I think leadership is service and there is power in that giving: to help people, to inspire and motivate them to reach their fullest potential.”

— Denise Morrison

A motivated team is essential for good morale, and good morale is essential for productivity. Teamwork is

an important ingredient of successful organizations, and for that reason, it’s important for everyone to work

successfully with one another. Effective teamwork doesn’t just happen — it takes good problem-solving,

decision-making, communication and interpersonal skills. In this section, you’ll explore how to light the fire in

your team and get the most out of every team member while maintaining good morale.

Learning objectives

• Describe a plan for creating a diverse culture.

• Explain how to get even the most contrary employee to do what they’re supposed to do.

• Understand delegation and its importance to the organization.

• Discuss techniques and strategies for keeping team members motivated.

• Describe how to keep feedback positive even when the situation may be negative.

XLMSW2_M4H210211 Light the Fire in Your Team…and Keep the Flame Burning 29

The #1 Leadership Lesson: It’s Not About You; It’s About Your People“When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. It’s about making the people who work for

you smarter, bigger, and bolder. Nothing you do anymore as an individual matters except how you nurture and

support your team and help its members increase their self-confidence…Your success as a leader will come not

from what you do but from the reflected glory of your team.”

Source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130708115451-86541065-how-to-think-like-a-leader

This involves:

Mentoring your team members

Demonstrating positive energy about life and the work that you are doing together

Showing optimism about the future

Giving feedback — not just at year-end and midyear performance reviews, but after

meetings, presentations or visits to clients

Making every significant event a teaching moment; discussing what you like about what

they’re doing and ways they can improve

Using total candor — which happens, incidentally, to be one of the defining

characteristics of effective leaders

Adapted from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130708115451-86541065-how-to-think-like-a-leader


Why and How to Have a Plan — and a Passion — for Creating a Diverse CultureSuccessful corporations are realizing that they must represent the customers they serve: a changing and diverse

client base. Consider the whys and hows of creating a diverse culture.

• You can address the needs of a

broader client base.

• You can attract and hire the

best from all cultures.

• You initiate diverse thinking

about problem solving,

creativity and opportunities.

• You improve your team

members’ satisfaction by

meeting their needs and

expectations rather than

stifling their values.

• Be accepting and respectful of

all cultures.

• Make your company culture

meet the needs and values of

your team members, not the

other way around.

• Provide training in diversity.

• Be a role model of acceptance

with an openness to learning.

WHY? HOW?


Telltale Signs of Being Overprotective of Your Team MembersIf you have team members who are reluctant to make decisions and/or move forward without your permission,

even on small matters, it could be that you have micromanaged them instead of empowering them. Take these

few steps to end that cycle:

Empower your team to make decisions

1. Use the five-level decision-making

technique to set clear expectations.

2. Share what’s most important and what isn’t.

— Communicate goals, priorities and changes.

3. Avoid being so accommodating.

— Ask them for a solution or suggestions.

— Provide resources and ask team members

to use them.

4. Don’t cave in on your expectations

and boundaries.

— Be consistent.

Adapted from Armada Executive Intelligence Brief, November 12, 2014

EXERCISE

What other tactics would you consider helpful to break the habit of team members running to you

with everything?

1LEVEL Management’s decisions without team input

2LEVEL Management’s decisions without team member input

3LEVEL Group decisions

4LEVEL Team members’ decisions with management’s input

5LEVELTeam members’ decisions without management’s input

The five-level decision-making technique


Why Bother to Delegate? Because You and Your Team Members Win Delegating is one of the most important tools that a leader can use. Many leaders, both male and female, find it

hard to delegate. Let’s look at some reasons some women may fail to use this valuable tool.

Why you don’t delegate:

• Feeling that if you don’t do the work, no one will

• Feeling that no one else can do it as well as you can

• Fear of giving up control

• It feels like an admission of failure if you can’t do it all

• Not wanting to impose on others

• Assuming it takes too long

• Delegate things that you can’t

do, that you don’t have time to

do or that don’t realistically fall in

your domain.

• Delegate things that someone

else can do better.

• When delegating, explain

clearly and specifically what you

want done.

• Delegate both the responsibility

and the authority needed to do

the job.

• Be considerate.

• Realize that while delegating may

be time-consuming, it saves time

in the long run.

DELEGATING TIPS:


EXERCISE

Think of three specific situations where you found it hard to delegate.

1.

2.

3.

Getting Even the Most Contrary Employees to Do What They’re Supposed to Do

“Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.”— Mahatma Gandhi

Ask yourself:

• Are there barriers preventing my team members from doing what they need to do?

• Do current processes and procedures still fit the task?

• Is outside interference making it difficult or impossible for my team members to do their jobs?

• Am I part of the problem by insisting they do things my way when there is no legitimate reason to

do so?

• Am I guiding my team members — or pushing them?

• Am I allowing them to problem-solve or am I insisting my solution is the best?

• Am I open to criticism about how I am handling the situation?


The Key to Motivating the Unmotivated: Be Very Good at These Five Things

1. Make clear what needs to be accomplished and why.

2. Involve your team members in problem solving.

3. Explain the rules.

4. Link employee goals with your company goals.

5. Take negative people off the team.

Two Things to Remember About Keeping Good Team Members Happy Organizations know that the best way to retain team members is to ensure their happiness. What a lot of

managers and executives may not realize is that simply offering raises won’t make the best employees stay.

Two things to remember:

Communicate openly

and with respect.

1

Keep team members

engaged and in

the know about

the organization.

2

Adapted from http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/6084-employee-happiness-without-raise.html

“Our 2013 employee engagement survey found that the number one contributor to employee happiness is transparency. Money and promotions are important, but what people want to know is the truth about the state of the company. The cost of improving transparency is almost zero, but it requires an ongoing dialogue between management and staff.”

— B.J. Shannon


Three Golden Rules for Setting Goals That Stick

TTime-bound

MMeasurable

SSpecific

RRelevant

AAchievable

1

2

3

Set goals at the right level (realistic goals).

Provide team input to goal setting (team ownership).

Make them SMART.

• It takes practice to set goals at

the right level.

• Set goals that are just out

of reach.

• When setting goals, consider

your energy level and other

commitments such as family

or volunteer work.


Do You Feel Uncomfortable Giving Praise? Why Successful Motivators Don’t Think That Way at AllMany leaders feel that praise is not necessary since employees are just “doing their jobs.” But astute leaders

understand that praise has a far-reaching impact since team members who receive praise are much more likely

to repeat appropriate behavior. Business research supports this principle by noting that praise is among the top

10 motivators of effective job performance.

Why should you offer praise?

• It is empowering.

• It can be used to reinforce appropriate work behaviors.

• It can increase job satisfaction.

• Salary isn’t the only motivator; many people thrive on, and need, praise.

How should you offer praise?

• Directly

• Frequently

• Publicly

• Genuinely

• In a timely manner — as soon as possible after the positive effort

• Proportionately — equal to the positive effort

• Specifically

• Verbally and in writing

• With a purpose


How to Keep Your Feedback Positive — Even When the Team Member Is Angry or Has Endless ExcusesThere will be times when you give a team member negative feedback and the team member gets angry or offers

an excuse for your every comment.

Deal with anger by:

Listening carefully Keeping control of your own emotions

Giving the team member a chance to speak

Empathizing, if appropriate

Taking a break if the team member’s anger is out of control

Deal with excuse making by:

• Stating exactly what you want the team member to change

• Stressing what the team member needs to do to meet your expectations

• Scheduling a follow-up meeting to let the team member know you are serious


Don’t Soft-Pedal When Discussing Poor Performance — Lay It All on the TableWhile most people do not like to criticize or discipline someone, it’s one of the duties you have to face as a

leader. Some leaders give in to the temptation to soft-pedal their critique. But resist the temptation because

you’re not doing your team members any favors. Team members need to know where they are before they can

meet your expectations. Constructive feedback also tells your team members that you value them enough to

care about their success.

• Deliver in private.

• Begin the

process informally.

• Make sure feedback is given in a

timely manner.

• Always direct your criticism toward

the action.

• Deliver feedback objectively

and unemotionally.

• Encourage team member input when

finding a solution.

• Use “I” messages.

• Remain objective.

• Deliver in a positive manner.

• Include some praise.

• Be specific.

• Discuss behavior only.

• Be fair in expectations.

• Listen.

• Allow venting.

• Provide opportunity for discussion.

How to give criticism and negative feedback:


Conclusion

We all want top-performing teams, but to get them, we need to get the most out of team members and have

a motivating environment. To create that engagement and keep your team members inspired, it’s imperative

to be fair and consistent with them and avoid accepting poor attitudes and behaviors from anyone. In the next

section, you’ll learn how to turn around challenges and become an opportunity-driven leader.

XLMSW2_M5H210211 40 Turn Around Challenges and Become an Opportunity-Driven Leader

Turn Around Challenges and Become an Opportunity-Driven Leader

“The feminine leadership style emphasizes cooperation over competition; intuition as well as rational thinking in problem solving; team structures where power and influence are shared within the group…interpersonal competence; and participative decision making.”

— Denise Morrison

In leadership, one of the most common and uncomfortable challenges is dealing with conflicts and

emotionalism. Armed with the right attitude, confidence and skill, you can become an opportunity-driven

leader. Take these challenges and turn them into opportunities to make things better. This section will address

how to turn around challenges and make your team or workplace highly functional.

Learning objectives

• Understand how to successfully manage workplace conflict.

• Describe the role of leaders when disagreements arise.

• Recognize when it’s appropriate to show emotions and when it’s inappropriate.

• Discuss dealing with difficult people as a leader.

• Recognize disciplining methods that are both fair and firm.

XLMSW2_M5H210211 Turn Around Challenges and Become an Opportunity-Driven Leader 41

The Top Seven Sources of Conflict at Work — and How the Wisest Women Leaders Handle ThemWise women leaders take proactive steps to avoid the following sources of work conflict:

Change • Communicate information in a timely manner to

those affected by the change.

• Explain reasoning for the change.

• Listen to suggestions.

• Explain why suggestions aren’t implemented.

CONFLICT PROACTIVE MEASURES

Delegation without authority

• Only delegate to team members capable of

handling the responsibilities.

• Provide the resources necessary to accomplish

the assignment.

• Provide the authority necessary to accomplish

the assignment.

Different missions, goals, objectives

• Make sure that team missions, goals and objectives

are in alignment with the organization’s.

• Make sure that individuals’ goals and objectives are

in alignment with the team’s and the organization’s.

Not enough resources

• Make sure that people have the resources and tools

they need to get the job done.

• Make sure that there are enough people to get the

job done.

• Make sure that there is enough time to get the

job done.


Poor communication

• Give people the information they need to do

the job.

• Provide the correct information.

• Make sure that people understand expectations.

CONFLICT PROACTIVE MEASURES

Unclear procedures • Clearly identify procedures.

• Provide training as needed.

• Modify procedures as necessary.

• Communicate changes in procedures to all

those affected.

Personality differences

• Recognize different personality styles.

• Utilize the strengths of different personality styles.

• Provide information about different

personality styles.


EXERCISE

As a group, identify another source of conflict in the workplace. Next, brainstorm proactive

measures that women leaders can take to avoid this conflict. Be ready to share your ideas.

Identified conflict:

Proactive measures:

Additional ideas that I can implement in my workplace:

When Conflicts Arise, Adopt These Three Roles as a LeaderAs a leader, you must take action when conflict between team members interferes with or disrupts work.

Leaders must:

1. Provide conflict-resolution training.

2. Facilitate problem solving and solutions.

3. Set limits of acceptable behavior.


How to Appear Immune to Cruel Words, Potshots and Personal Attacks (Even When You’re Not)Remember that people have a tendency to attack the person rather than the issue. Maintain your leadership

credibility by remaining professional and taking “the high road.”

• Don’t attack back. It might backfire and make you look like the attacker.

• Avoid confrontations. Most people will deny their cruel words, potshots or personal attacks.

• Approach the backstabber in a subtle manner. Relay a story or scenario where you address the problem

indirectly but aren’t accusatory.

Dealing With Hotheads, Know-It-Alls and Other Difficult PeopleWhether you’re in a work relationship or a personal relationship, you must decide if the benefits outweigh the

cost. Unfortunately, sometimes there are difficult people at work you can’t avoid.

Deal with these people by remembering the following:

Use assertive

communication.

Use good

listening skills.

Don’t place

yourself at

their level by

responding with

the same kind

of behavior.

Stay calm,

collected

and centered.

Don’t allow

their problems

to become

your problems.

They have an

attitude or

personality

issue; it’s not

you, it’s them —

don’t take

it personally.

You can’t

change people;

you can only

change how

you react to

their behavior.

Choose your

battles carefully;

know when to

dig your heels

in and when

to retreat.


Set and Enforce a Zero-Tolerance Policy on Bad AttitudesLet your team members know, through your own behaviors and communication, that you will not tolerate bad

attitudes on the team. Bad attitudes usually manifest themselves in behaviors such as gossiping, not completing

tasks on time, degrading the company or team members, absenteeism or lack of productivity.

Remember that bad attitudes are contagious. It’s important that you do whatever you can to address and

change the attitude as quickly as possible.

An employee with a bad attitude can have widespread effects on other team members such as:

1. They can cause gossip, reduced motivation, a rise in complaints, cliques and loss of team spirit.

2. Co-workers are affected negatively, morale suffers and people become angry; focus shifts to the disruptive

employee and away from work.

3. They can cause resentment and the development of distrust.

4. Co-workers end up doing all the work.

5. Teamwork and relationships become strained.

6. Dissatisfaction with management increases.

Confronting the bad attitudes of team members:

Address the issue, using specific examples of behaviors.

Look for the cause of the bad attitude.

Don’t respond with anger.

Recognize the team member when he or she does something well.

Invite the person to share his or her concerns.

Show that you care.

Coach the person — set goals with him or her.

Offer counseling if appropriate.

Terminate if not corrected.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9


Disciplining Employees in a Firm and Fair MannerWhen discussing a problem, be sure to discuss specific situations or solutions. Talk in terms of helping the

employee improve his or her work and, as a result, productivity.

• Avoid judging the

person. Diagnose

the situation in

behavioral terms.

• Avoid communication breakdowns that can

escalate the problem situation or behavior.

• Don’t threaten, but be open and direct.

Paint the consequences if the behavior does

not change.

• Treat everyone the same way with the

same rules for behavior and standards

of performance.

• Follow organization discipline policies

consistently with everyone.

• Follow up.

• Recognize improvements or readdress the

situation if it has not changed.

Conclusion

Don’t let challenges keep you from having a high-performance team. Address the challenges head-on and

become an opportunity-driven leader with the techniques discussed in this section. In the next section, you’ll

assess where you stand and where you go from here to become a first-class leader.

XLMSW2_M6H210211 Assess Where You Stand — and Where to Go From Here 47

Assess Where You Stand — and Where to Go From Here

“To tend, unfailingly, unflinchingly, towards a goal, is the secret of success.”

— Anna Pavlova

Leaders who are able to look within and assess their strengths and challenges and decide where they go from

here are the real high-potential leaders. Most people don’t do this, and they are doing themselves a disservice.

Asking yourself who you are, where you are and where you want to go is the first step in continued growth and

development. In this session, you’ll uncover where you stand and where you go next.

Learning objectives

• Recognize the benefits of having mentors for continued growth and development.

• Describe the importance of a balanced life and how to maintain the balance.

• Identify how to expand your career and professional possibilities.

• Discuss how to seek new opportunities.

XLMSW2_M6H210211 48 Assess Where You Stand — and Where to Go From Here

Soliciting Honest FeedbackSome bosses and co-workers are more honest with feedback than others, so seek them out. Develop trust with

someone to get to the point where they feel safe enough to give you honest criticism.

Four factors that affect the quality of feedback you receive:

1. WHO YOU ASK

2. HOW YOU ASK

3. WHEN YOU ASK

4. HOW YOU RESPOND

• Ask a co-worker you have a strong

relationship with so they’ll take

the risk.

• Push them to be honest.

• Ask a specific question.

• Probe as necessary.

• Give people time to give

thoughtful feedback.

• Don’t take people by surprise.

• Don’t argue.

• Seek to understand.

Adapted from http://scottberkun.com/2013/how-to-get-better-feedback/


Mentors: You Can Have More Than OneMentoring is a professional one-on-one relationship that develops over time between an established team

member and an emerging team member through a structured program.

Mentors can provide wisdom, inspiration and even a push in the right direction. A mentor who believes you have

great potential can inspire you to believe in yourself and to try harder at things.

When you find a mentor, don’t abuse the relationship

• Take the responsibility

to set up

meeting times.

• Always be on time.

• Come prepared with

topics or concerns.

• Actively listen.

• Keep conversations

confidential.

When looking for a mentor, consider the following:

• Does the person have

the skills and expertise

needed to help you?

• Is the

person successful?

• What kind of

reputation does the

person have?

• Is the person further

along in his or her

career than you are?

• How well do you know

the person?

• Do you like

the person?

Being a successful mentee requires:

• A willingness to take

a risk

• A willingness to put

in the necessary time

and effort required to

develop the mentor/

mentee relationship

• Respecting

your mentor’s

time constraints

• Accepting criticism

with composure and

without hard feelings

(and learning from it)

• Taking responsibility

for your own growth

and actions


How to Create a Vision Statement of Success in Under 25 WordsYour personal vision is what you want to be, do, feel, think, own and associate with in the future.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What are the main things that motivate me and bring me joy and satisfaction?

• What are my greatest strengths and skills?

• What do I enjoy doing the most?

• What could I do that would afford me additional joy?

EXERCISE

Write a vision statement for your success in 25 words or fewer. Consider the questions above as you

develop your vision statement.


Expand Your Possibilities and Don’t Pigeonhole YourselfDon’t let old, unspoken rules hold you down. Develop to your fullest potential according to what you want to

accomplish. These old rules can make it difficult for you in the workplace, but only if you allow them to.

Cultural/belief difficulties

• Believing that reflecting wastes time and one

should rely only on logic and reason

• Believing that intuition and personal judgments

should not be trusted

Perceptual difficulties

• Accepting assumptions as fact

• Failing to identify root causes and all aspects of

the problem

• Assuming that what worked before will work now

• Failing to identify potential opportunities

Emotional difficulties • Fear of failure, making a mistake or taking a risk

• Making judgments too quickly

Rational/logical difficulties

• Being unwilling to consider new solutions

• Sticking to solutions only because they have

worked in the past

• Refusing to abandon an approach that is not

working and find something new

Environmental difficulties

• Failing to set goals

• Using an authoritarian leadership style

• Permitting an autocratic person to take over

To overcome them:

1. Decide which patterns to keep and which to change.

2. Change the pattern.

3. Consider your emotional ties to your habits.


Dispel the Myth That Women Must Work Twice as Hard: Avoid Overloading Yourself Many women take on more than they can reasonably handle in order to show everyone that they can do it all.

Not only does this cause unnecessary stress, but it’s a recipe for failure.

Parkinson’s Law

Work expands to fill the amount of time provided for its completion.

The solution:

• Work in reverse!

• Set a deadline for each task.

• Assign yourself a period of time to complete a task. Then, cut the time in half. According to

Parkinson’s Law, you will still get the job done.

The 10 golden rules of time management

1. Know how you currently spend your time.

2. Identify your “prime time.”

3. Do tomorrow’s planning tonight.

4. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing right now?”

5. Handle each piece of paper once.

6. Plan your work, and work your plan.

7. Delegate whenever possible.

8. Delegate wisely.

9. Identify your high-payoff items.

10. Work from a prioritized action list.


EXERCISE

Where are you on the work-life balance scale?

Answer each question as true or false:

T F1. I feel like I should always be doing something.

2. When I have downtime, I feel nervous.

3. Non-work activities tire me out.

4. Usually, all of my time is scheduled each week.

5. I am tired pretty much all of the time.

6. Sometimes I wish everyone would just leave me alone.

7. I define myself by a title: Manager, mother, wife, PTA president, etc.

8. I almost always take work home.

9. I feel guilty about my spouse and children being shortchanged.

10. I have missed more of my children’s activities than I want to think about.

11. Life is going by too fast.

12. I am not living the life I had pictured.

“True” answers should sound a loud warning bell that you need to actively make more time for yourself. Your

happiness, health and well-being are at stake.

How do I find a work-life balance that’s right for me?

Finding — and keeping — the right work-life balance requires work and diligence.

There is no one, easy, defined way to find the right balance for everyone. Each person

is different. Use your definition of success to help you define what is right for you in

your situation.


Tips for getting and keeping your work-life balance:

• Make managing your time a priority.

• Avoid procrastination.

• Delegate.

• Slow down.

• Let some things go.

• Explore your options.

• Ask for help.

• Set your priorities.

• Simplify wherever possible.

• Give up perfectionism.

• Rethink your housekeeping standards.

• Nurture yourself.

• Set aside one night each week for you and

your family.

• Guard your time off.

• Take vacations — and don’t work through them.

• Get enough sleep, eat right and exercise.

• Don’t ignore stress; learn how to deal with it.

• Stay in touch with your friends and family.

• Seek professional help, if necessary.

What Top Managers Really Look for When Deciding Whom to Promote

Doing a good job alone

will not always get you

promoted. There are

other things you need

to consider. You need

to be noticed too. Follow these suggestions

to help you get that promotion you want —

and deserve:

1. Be outstanding in your current position and go

the extra mile.

2. Avoid office politics, when possible, and refuse

to be a party to gossip.

3. Seek a mentor.

4. Keep a record of what you have done to

enhance the company’s bottom line.

5. Promote yourself.

6. Bond with your boss.

7. Acquire new skills.

8. Network.

9. Ask for more responsibility.

10. Be a team player.


Don’t Rest on Your Laurels: Seek New Opportunities and Take ChargeGone are the days when a company would dictate your career path. It just doesn’t happen like it used to. This

means setting your own broad career goals and constantly looking out for opportunities to move closer to what

only you can offer, and to move up while doing so. It also means consistently choosing strategies that boost your

success while being loyal to your current employer.

Steps to seeking opportunities and taking charge of your career:

• Measure your progress.

• Take charge of your own professional development.

• Work with your mentors.

• Be open to change.

• Analyze your career with a personal SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats).

• Make the most of key career moments.

Adapted from http://career-advice.monster.com/career-development/getting-promoted/career-planning-tips/article.aspx

SWOT example

SWOT

Strengths

• Positive personal traits

• Education

• Skills

HELPFUL

Opportunities

• Job openings

• Emerging demands

Weaknesses

• Lack of

work experience

HARMFUL

Threats

• Changing

market demand

Adapted from http://career-advice.monster.com/job-search/career-assessment/Analyze-Your-Career-with-a-SWOT/article.aspx


Conclusion

It’s up to you to take charge of your life and career. Take the bull by the horns and create your own path with

these strategies and techniques. Create your vision, and decide on your path to success.

57

Action Planning WorksheetIt’s critical to have a plan for how you’ll put into practice what you’ve learned during this training. When you

develop specific steps for professional development, you’re committing to your own success.

Make a Statement to Make a ChangeSet yourself up for success by expressing how you’ll use the skills and tools in this training to move in the right

direction. Use the area below to set an intention and state your desired result.

If I…

(the action you plan to take)

Then…

(the desired impact of your action)

Planning to Make a ChangeAccording to psychology professor Icek Ajezen and his Theory of Planned Behavior, there are three components

to making a change: attitude, social support and perceived effort. Get ahead by setting the stage for your

intention to become reality. Use the area below to plan for change.

Attitude Social support Perceived effort

When I am successful, I will share my intention with… List any potential obstacles and

I will (feel/think/act) … ways you plan to overcome them:

(make a list of people who will help you be accountable)

58

Reinforcing AccountabilityConsider the more manageable steps for your intention and what you might be able to accomplish in the next

30 days. Use this chart to set a plan and discuss it with your social support (colleague, mentor or supervisor).

Anticipated completion in the next 30 days

Manageable step 0% 20% 40% 60% 80% 100%

1.

2.

3.

Continuing on the Path to SuccessNow that it has been 30 days, you might have accomplished far more than you anticipated and

want to go farther or, like most people, you might have fallen behind schedule. That’s okay. The

important thing is not giving up on your intention. Continue to make plans and strive to reach your

goals. Use the area below to design a new plan for the next 30 days.

If I…

Then…

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

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