Leaders & Stories: Thin Line Between Manipulation & Truthfulness

8/14/2019 Leaders & Stories: Thin Line Between Manipulation & Truthfulness

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STORIES MANIPULATION & TRUTHFULNESS

I thought I would take a moment to share a recent question Igot from an attendee of a recent webinar Shawn Callahanfrom Anecdote and I did on leadership.

The question deals with manipulation and truthfulness ofstories. Here is Davids question in his own words and theresponse I emailed. Id love to hear peoples thoughts on thequestions raised. It!s a rich and ver" important question # lots

of room here for deep reflection # so please add "our voice...

Here!s the question$

I found myself later thinking of what was said

about plausibility in stories. Perhaps it was a

casual comment, somewhat unrelated to the

main topic, but I believe that it's important to

deepen into the issue of "manipulating"

through storytelling. When I talk to peopleabout how to improve communication and

training skills at work, and explain how

storytelling works, I sometimes get askedwhether that's not plainly deceiving, as, in a

way, it creates a parallel reality where facts

match the storyteller's beliefs, values and

messages. ust as in political propaganda, as

they point out.

!his is a uestion I have some troubleanswering, as I tend to appeal to personal

ethics but some people find this argument too

weak.David Gutirrez

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Stories can function as weapons. There are countlesse%amples of how people abuse the power of tapping into theemotions and imaginations of others to coercivel" manipulatetheir constructs of realit". Clear violations such as con artists

are eas" to classif". However& the question is not a black orwhite one ' thus wh" I quoted (ark Twain& )sometimes "ouhave to lie a little bit to tell the truth.* At the end of thismessage I!ll share with "ou a traditional tale that was one ofm" mentor!s signature stories.

+" their nature stories are fluid. Stories overlap memorieswith the conte%t of the moment. I find stories in collages andclusters to be more truthful than pinning the entiret" of amessage in a single stor". All the greatest stories are vast

little universes with an orbit of small stor" fragments. Thedepth and veracit" of stories is more easil" perceived whenscanning the pattern and intention of stories in pro%imit" withone another. I am naturall" distrustful of single isolated largeperfect stories with clean beginning& middles& and ends andunmistakable stor" arcs. In man" instances these stories havealread" been warped around the gravit" of a pre#digestedmessage. Stories are creative acts and furthermore I viewthem as co#creative stages on which themes& drama& andmeanings emerge in a process of co#creation. The stor" is

onl" one small part of the ke". The decoding and collaborativesense making space generated b" telling a stor" to trigger thestories of others is sacred. (" e%perience has been that whenthis space opens up& stor"telling and listening is authentic&deep& and responsive to the needs of the moment. The spacefalls apart when listening ceases and an" one person returnsto advancing a monocular agenda.

Stories told in the moment will adapt themselves to thelanguage& vocabular"& and e%perience of listeners. It is a mark

of an integrated stor"teller to share stories in a wa" fitting tothe audience. If that means elaborating upon an aspect of thestor" or coloring it with a nuance of detail previousl" untold orwhich stretches the factualit" than I do not view this as eithercoercive or manipulative.

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I feel "our instincts of asking people to become aware of theirintentions are a marvelous starting point. Stories allow us toimagine parado%es and contradictions. So I feel that if webecome wrapped up in equating honest" and integrit" withauthenticit" we miss the richness of what stories have to offer

us.

I hope m" response is of some help to "ou.

,ow here!s a classic stor" to add to our discussion$

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LADY TRUTH

Thomas had done it all. At theage of 50 he had become CEO of

a Fortune 100company; he had a beautifulfamily and all of the materialthings he could eer!ant. "o!eer# there !as agna!ing $uestion in Thomas%smind. "e remembered as a

young boy listening to a gospelstory about &esus. 'n the story#

&esus is as(ed# )*hat is Truth+,

Thomas had al!ays !ondered!hy &esus neer replied. -o oneday# Thomas turned to his !ifeand said# )"oney# ' am so happy.Our life is !onderful. ut ' needto go on a $uest for Truth.,

)*ell# honey#, she replied# )if it is important to you# ' thin(you should go. '%ll pac( you a nice lunch# and you can gie mepo!er of attorney# and then you can

head out tomorro! morning.,

The ne/t morning# Thomas too( his lunch and hit the road. "eleft his * in the garage; someho! he thought he shouldconduct his pilgrimage on foot. -oThomas !al(ed and !al(ed. "e stopped at his company%smanufacturing plant."e had heard that !or(ers hold the (eys to Truth but hefound no Truth there. e/t he !ent to the *hite "ouse. "efound a lot of hot air but no Truth. Then he stopped at the

2atican to spea( !ith the 3ope# but again he found no Truth.On and on he !andered# until he found himself in a eryremote part of the !orld.

At long last he sa! a sign !ith an arro! pointing up a hill. Thesign read# )Truth This *ay.,

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Thomas stumbled up the hill and came to a little shac( !ith ablin(ing mar$uee# )The Truth 4ies "ere., "e nerously(noc(ed on the door. A moment later the door began to crea(open. Thomas craned his nec( around the corner to get hisfirst glimpse of Truth. *hat he sa! made him ump bac( fie

feet. -tanding before him !as the oldest# most hideouscreature he had eer seen. 't !as all hunched oer. 'n a high6

pitched# cac(ling oice# it said# )7es# dear+,

)Oh# ' am terribly sorry# ' thin( ' hae the !rong house. ' !asloo(ing for Truth.,The creature smiled and said# )*ell# you%e found me. 3leasecome inside.,-o Thomas !ent inside and began to learn about Truth. For

years Thomas stayed by the creature%s side# absorbing all of

the intricacies of Truth. "e !as ama8ed at the things helearned. Then one day he turned to it and said# )Truth# ' haelearned so much from you# but no! ' must go home andshare my !isdom and (no!ledge !ith others. ' do not (no!!here to begin. *hat should ' tell people+,

The hideous old creature leaned for!ard and said# )*ell#dear# tell them ' am young and beautiful.,

In the words of (ark Twain& )Sometimes "ou have to lie a little

bit to tell the truth.*

About the Author

Terrence -. argiulo& ((HS is an eight#timeauthor& international speaker& organi/ationaldevelopment consultant and group processfacilitator speciali/ing in the use of stories. Heholds a (aster of (anagement in Human

Services from the 0lorence Heller School& at+randeis 1niversit"& and is a recipient of Inc.(aga/ines (arketing (aster Award& the 2334H5 -eadership Award from the Asia 6acificH5( Congress& and a member of +randeis1niversit"!s Hall of 0ame. He has appeared on

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0o% T7& C,4& and on C,, radio among others.

Terrence can be reached at$terrence8makingstories.net+log9 http9::makingstories#

stor"matters.blogspot.com:Twitter9 8makingstoriesSk"pe9 TerrenceargiuloCell9 ;;4#434?

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mailto:[email protected]://makingstories-storymatters.blogspot.com/http://makingstories-storymatters.blogspot.com/mailto:[email protected]://makingstories-storymatters.blogspot.com/http://makingstories-storymatters.blogspot.com/


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Leaders & Stories: Thin Line Between Manipulation & Truthfulness

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